Tag: healthy aging

Waste time to get motivated

So this morning I woke up early, thinking I could write maybe a thousand words in my novel. I was at a crucial point, but a couple of days ago, the last time I tackled this document, I got stuck. I’m at a crucial plot point, and I couldn’t figure out how to resolve the issue. So today, after I got back from the bathroom and made sure the dogs were still sleeping soundly, I turned on my keyboard, got my phone, and was immediately distracted by a news story. Funny, now, I don’t even remember what that story was. I must have wasted ten minutes scrolling the news after reading that story.

Then I shook myself (mentally) and told myself to get to work. Opened the Google Doc and started banging the keyboard. No breaks for about a half hour, until I had to get up and start the day. I didn’t quite make it to a thousand words, but came close. It turns out that it’s actually a proven productivity method: waste time to get motivated.

Scroll social media?

In fact, Joi Foley of the Rockwood Leadership Institute, advocates scrolling social media as a way to get away from the pressure you put on yourself when you’re stuck. If you’re working on a project and are stymied on where to take it, chances are your path will become clear after a break. And scrolling your social media accounts for a few minutes can provide that break. Thinking about a great bread pudding recipe, for example, can let your mind solve that other, totally unrelated, problem. The key here is to get back on track after a few minutes. If you like this solution to problem-solving, you may want to use an app to get you back to your task after a set time period.

Do nothing

Another way Foley can waste time to get motivated is to do nothing. Just sit and breathe. I’ve advocated meditation myself. It’s sometimes hard to get the noises out of your head, though, to meditate properly. Perhaps a short guided meditation can help you focus on something else.

Work for 5 minutes

So another time-waster Foley suggests is to just work for 5 minutes. Goodness knows, sometimes those 5 minutes can seem like forever when I’m working on a project I wasn’t looking forward to. So after those 5 minutes are up, do something else. Chances are, you’ll start thinking about the project you left and get the urge to start working on it again.

Take a walk

I also advocate a change of scenery. Take a short walk. That often helps me clear my head and want to dive into a project when I get back. Taking a walk not only helps productivity but also contributes to your happiness.

All this time-wasting is contributing to your productivity. By strategically doing other things, and thinking about other stuff, you’re actually doing more to get the stuff you really want to get done, done. And that will make you happier, more optimistic, and more resilient. It contributes to your healthy aging and you’ll get the urge to get even more stuff done.

Outside factors do affect your motivation

In a perfect world, you’d wake up in the morning, fired up to work out, run all your errands, and knock three things off your Goal-Setting Go-Getter To-Do List by 11. And you’d still have time to get a good start on saving the world by lunch. But, we know things don’t work that way. The way my day started: the alarm went off, I rolled over to turn it off. Put my feet into my slippers and hobbled into the bathroom because my back and hip let me know that it would be a bursitis day. Wandered back into the bedroom to get dressed. Turned the light on to find that my old dog had thrown up on the towel he sleeps on, on the bed. (Thank goodness it was on the bed!) Hurriedly got dressed, gathered up the dirty towel, picked up the old guy, and ushered the others outside. Motivation for the rest of the day: shot. So, outside factors do affect your motivation. For sure.

Overcoming outside factors affecting our plans

So how do we deal with that? How do we overcome those outside factors that affect our plans for every day?

Outside factors (like dealing with a sick dog) do affect your motivation

Of course, we have to deal with things that come up that require immediate attention – like cleaning up the old dog and putting the towel in the laundry room for the next load. But we just have to deal with the other things that stick around that affect our plans. Like the chronic pain of bursitis. Some of you may have chronic back or knee pain. It’s not fun, and every so often it’s more acute than others. But it’s something that’s not going away. So we deal with it.

Is it possible to maintain positive momentum then?

But to maintain our motivation to move forward with our plans, remaining in that mindset of having to deal with external factors is not going to work. We have to actually change our mindset and decide that we’re not going to settle for just cleaning up dog vomit. Once we tend to the immediate problem, it’s time to get going.

Achieving a growth mindset

It may be time to cross those little niggly things off the To Do List – ones that don’t take a lot of brain power but just need to get done. You’ve accepted the fact that you may not get some really deep thinking done today to make great strides toward your ultimate goal, but you can do some of the little things that will inch your way forward. This encourages your growth mindset – your ability to change and grow, become more resilient and positively impact your mental state. So, settle the dog in a nice bed by your workstation, take a deep breath, and check off some boxes. 

Yes, outside factors do affect your motivation, but that doesn’t mean that they rule your actions. Decide to move forward.

For more tips on maintaining your momentum, grab the “Get It Done” Guide.

Just one more!

I don’t know too many people who are excited to exercise. I’m not. I do it because the benefits I get from exercise allow me to do the things I actually want to do. But I know that in order for the exercise to keep giving me those benefits, I have to keep challenging myself. You probably know that many days I do my workouts with a pre-recorded program. I pick up my weights and follow along. As the years have gone by, I’ve increased the intensity and the weights I use. I’ve gotten stronger, and the old weights were no longer challenging. I also want to be able to do more regular push-ups because I want to get stronger. To motivate myself, I tell myself, “Just one more!”

The key to motivation

And that’s the key to motivation. “Just one more” can be your watchword, your spark, for anything you’ve got in your sights. One more pound to lift. Run another tenth of a mile. Walk one more block. Write another chapter. Knit another row. The sky’s the limit when you tell yourself, “Just one more!”

Stagnation is the worst thing

I believe that the worst thing we can do is stagnate. If we don’t grow, if we don’t evolve, then I think we can just dig a hole and get comfortable there. By growing and developing new talents we learn more about ourselves and the world.

Develop a “growth mindset”

And in challenging ourselves, we develop what’s known as a “growth mindset.” We aren’t satisfied with the way things are now, with ourselves. We know that we can be better. We can become more fit, for ourselves and the people who love us. And we can explore more things. We’re not satisfied with our current knowledge base. Sometimes that’s scary. But by learning more about the things that scare us they lose the aspects that we fear. We can bounce back and become more resilient as fewer things scare us. Sure, there are other scary things out there, but we may have to look harder for them.

When we can do “Just one more,” then perhaps we can do two more, and conquer the world that much faster.

Don’t use fear as a motivator

It’s Fall – when we strive to prevent falls

It’s officially Fall according to the calendar, and my reminder to focus on my balance exercises. It’s an unkind fact – as we get older we not only gain more wisdom (that’s a good thing), we also lose things. Like our eyesight, our hearing, our hair (for some), our bone density, and our sense of balance. Falls are a primary cause of sending us seniors to the hospital. And once we’ve fallen, we live in fear of falling again. We may not be able to do much about our eyesight and hearing, but we can work to improve our balance. Fear of falling is a powerful nudge to get us working on our balance, but don’t use fear as a motivator.

Negative motivators are powerful

Fear has been called the most powerful motivator to get us to do something. And it certainly works. For a while. But we become fatigued. We can’t live in fear day in and day out. It’s not enough to be afraid of falling to get us to do the simple balance exercises. Fear tends to paralyze us. And if we don’t fall one day, or two, or a week, then we lose the motivation. We’re still afraid of falling, because the memory is there, but it’s no longer so powerful.

I learned a lot about aging

I started my balance journey a number of years ago after I fell and injured my knee and hips. It’s true that knowing our balance diminishes is often not enough to get us to work on it, though. In fact, I didn’t know about that aspect of aging until I started doing some research. I didn’t like the fact that losing balance is a natural part of aging, so I decided to see if there was something to do about it. Happily, I also learned that simple exercises (you can do the Core-Centered Balance Moves too) can help us regain the balance we’ve lost over time. This is a long-term prospect. Much like general exercises for the rest of our bodies, the benefits are lost if we don’t do them and they’re cumulative if we keep on doing the exercises. So we need additional motivation to keep us working on our balance.

Negative motivators are exhausting

But fear is a negative motivator, which never works as well as positive ones over time. Negative motivators are tiring. They’re unsustainable. Negative motivators work really well in the short term – like making you hurry if you’re late to an appointment and fear the consequences. Negative motivators are great at getting you to avoid doing things – like going out of your house if you’re afraid of falling. Positive motivators work much better in the long run at helping you to take action. You’ll want to go places and visit friends and family if you’re confident that you can do so safely. You’ll be able to bounce back and be more resilient if you’re confident in your independence.

So don’t use fear as a motivator to practice your balance moves. Instead, think of the confidence you’ll gain by your improved balance. You can step out of your door with confidence. You’ll revel in your independence. You’ll know that even if you do step on uneven pavement, the Inline Walking exercise that you do every week (yes, I know it looks and feels weird) will help you keep your balance. 

It’s just two minutes a day. Practice your balance. Be confident.

Third type of motivation

A while ago I told you about 2 kinds of motivation – extrinsic and intrinsic. External and internal motivation – your motivation is fueled by outer forces, or you’re motivated because you enjoy the project. But, that doesn’t explain how people who do not like to exercise still get up, change their shoes and work out five days a week. The benefits of exercise don’t matter. When it comes to doing a bunch of burpees and getting hot and sweaty, I don’t care if this will help me remember things. I’d rather do a Sudoku puzzle. My heart is fine, thank you. My healthy aging? Doing great, thanks. And as long as I can zip my jeans, my weight is good.

What makes mundane tasks more motivating?

So here’s where the third type of motivation comes in. The Harvard Business Review did a study on how to make even the most mundane tasks more motivating. And you might be surprised at the results.

Do it for others

Do it for others. You’re part of a team. When you exercise, you make an investment in yourself. Your family needs and depends on you. You exercise for them. And that’s the third type of motivation. The motivation that inspires you to go above and beyond what you think you’re capable of. The thing that makes you push beyond what you thought were your boundaries. You can achieve more than you ever thought possible when you do things for the people in your life who you love, and who love you.

Your secret weapon

The third type of motivation goes much further than intrinsic or extrinsic motivation. This motivation brings in a secret weapon – other people. You can use these other people as your exercise team. Some people are able to sustain exercise when they do it with others, either as part of a group class or an accountability group. When I took group step classes, for example, I was able to forget how out of breath I was. The music and cheering of others lifted me up and kept me going. My classmates, or my team, motivated me to continue stepping, jumping, and lunging past the point where I might have stopped.

Your accountability team can also keep you going. If you have a group that checks in with each other once a day, for example, you know that you’re going to have to tell them that you worked out for a half hour or 45 minutes, or an hour. Or you have to tell them that you wussed out and didn’t exercise. Most times peer pressure motivates us to do the thing we really don’t want to do.

If you really like to exercise – great! Do it. If the benefits you get from exercise motivate you to work out, that’s good too. But if these types of motivation just aren’t doing it for you, you can rely on the third type of motivation to get you up and moving. Exercise for others.

The Rewards you Get

COVID takes your brain to interesting places. You’re sitting there and trying to focus, and your brain takes a detour down a rabbit hole. The other day I was thinking about positive reinforcement training and rewards. In my other life, I’m a dog trainer, using positive methods, and lots of rewards. So I thought, what’s different about people and motivation – people deserve great rewards when we do awesome stuff, just like our dogs do! Motivation and reward have to be linked, or I wouldn’t get things done.

Rewards in Positive Reinforcement Dog training

When I’m training my dogs, I reward things I like. That has the effect of the dogs doing that thing I liked more, so they get more rewards. Motivation and reward are linked. We say, “What gets rewarded gets repeated.” If the reward is a high value treat, my dogs want more of it. They think, “How can I get more of that yummy cheese?” Pause a moment. “Oh yeah. I was sitting.” They probably don’t use words, but I can imagine the thought process goes like that.

Rewards for Humans

When it comes down to it, people like rewards too. Our rewards might take a different form – less cheese, perhaps, and more chocolate, but cheese is good too. I have a feeling that we often disregard the “Reward” part that comes after we complete an item on our “To Do” List. And, yet, to keep us motivated, the reward plays an important part. I always say that we should celebrate every small victory! Every step toward a goal’s completion deserves a reward. Incidentally, achieving goals is also great for our optimism and our resilience. 

Enlightened self-interest

Exercise shouldn't hurt, but if the reward for doing it isn't motivating, make it hurt not to.

Enlightened self-interest is what makes the world go around. If I don’t want to do something, I’m not going to do it unless I have a very good reason to do it. Like exercise. If I were just starting an exercise program, I’d need really good rewards to make me change into workout gear and get all out of breath and sweaty. But if I promise myself that I’ll get a new top if I stick to my program for a solid week, then I’ll stick with it.

Hierarchy of rewards

But not every reward is the same. Just like I do for my dogs, we should have a hierarchy of rewards for us. For a dog, kibble is at the low end of the hierarchy and hot dog may be at the high end. For us? Perhaps taking a five-minute breathing break is at the low end of the reward spectrum, and a new set of colored gel pens at the high.

Or if the task is more difficult, then a new pair of shoes may qualify as a high-end reward. As a reward, that pair of shoes carries much more value than a 5-minute break, so the task it’s rewarded for must be more difficult or time-consuming. Pair the reward with the task. And make sure that the reward is something you really want. You won’t be motivated to perform the task by that reward if you don’t care if you receive it or not!

Don’t wait until it’s finished for a reward

You may think that the carrot dangling on the end of the stick will see that task done to completion. But research has shown that a reward given when a task is started helps to keep us working. If we like the reward, then we have a positive association between it and the task, and it keeps us going. And this immediate reward doesn’t have to be big, either. The study showed that smaller, more frequent rewards had a bigger influence on a person’s motivation to complete a task than a bigger reward when the task was complete. The person’s mindset was changed to continue the task even for a smaller reward.

Motivation and rewards are linked – so make sure you’re clear on what your reward is for performing a task. Make sure the reward is something you actually want. And rewarding yourself for starting a project may just keep you going through to the end.

Motivation when you’re sick

During the height of the pandemic, most of us were vigilant about wearing masks and keeping social distance. Now, three years later, most of us have relaxed our vigilance. We’ve been vaccinated and boosted, and since the virus didn’t greatly impact us, we didn’t think about taking precautions when in a large gathering. And now it’s come back on me. I was at an Agility trial this last weekend, along with over a hundred other people (and their dogs). And now I tested positive and have mild symptoms. I don’t feel all that bad as I’m writing this, but I don’t feel that great either. Working holds no appeal at the moment, and if this article is not up to my usual standards, I apologize. So, how do you maintain your motivation when you’re sick?

Focus on one thing

When you’re sick, focus on one thing to accomplish. Any more than that and you’ll be overwhelmed and end up not getting anything done. So, figure out the most important thing you want to get done. Then, since your brain might not be working at its usual high level, think about how to start that task. Write it down. Motivation when you’re sick requires much more detail than at other times. When you’re well, once you start many tasks, the steps become a natural progression. But when you’re sick, those steps may not be clear. So write the steps down. Writing those steps down will change your mindset from planning to doing.

Do it

Then buckle down and do it. Motivation when you’re sick requires that you stay focused. Your thoughts may want to scatter in different directions, so it’s important that if you want to get things done, you reign in those thoughts and stay focused. This is not easy. I currently have eighteen tabs open in various browser windows. But I set the task of writing this article for myself. And I will finish it! 

It’s not easy to maintain motivation sometimes, even when you’re feeling well. But when you’re sick, it’s even more difficult. So just try to get one task accomplished. See how you feel when it’s done. If you’re feeling good after that, move to the next item on your list. Last week I had some tips to maintain motivation, and one was celebrate the smallest victory. That applies here. Finishing anything when you’re ill deserves a celebration!

Things to remember if you’re sick

Meanwhile, things to remember if you are sick with COVID and are treating yourself at home (from the Mayo Clinic) – get lots of rest, drink plenty of water, throw those tissues away and wash your hands a lot. If you can, isolate yourself from the rest of the people in your household. And if your symptoms get worse, see a health professional.

Challenge the aging stereotypes

Halle Berry, in my opinion, is still one of the world’s most beautiful women. She’s 57 (!) now, and in the throes of menopause. But she’s not letting that phase of life shut her down, as she indicates she once thought it might. Halle Berry is changing her own reality and embracing the life changes menopause has brought her. Berry said, “I’m challenging all those stereotypes about how you have to look a certain way or feel a certain way. I’m my best self now … I have the most to offer.” We’re old enough that we don’t have to conform to society’s rules. So often we women feel compelled to think of others before ourselves, to conform to others’ rigid standards and do what others think we should. I’m with Halle – let’s challenge the aging stereotypes.

No more “little old ladies”

Gone is the “little old lady” stereotype. We used to think of “little old ladies” as stooped over, hobbling with a cane and wearing a shawl. Needing a driver to take us to the grocery store where we picked up our meager staples for the week. Yes, we might be shrinking in stature (thank you, gravity!), but we’re more vital and our views are more valid than ever.

Independent, but community has value

We see the world from the viewpoint of “been there, done that” – we’ve raised families, lost parents, and seen the best and worst of society from the vantage point of our homes and workplaces. We’re fiercely independent, yet community is still an important part of our lives – even if some days that community is just online. Our social media groups allow us to maintain the connections we so badly need for our resilience and our sanity. When you join a group on social media, you know you’ve got at least one thing in common with the other members. We’re not afraid to engage in discussions over controversial topics even if some others try to put us down. Our viewpoints are valid and we should express them. 

And while it’s imperative to feel connected in some ways to others, we’re still individuals. Our choices don’t look like our friends’ choices. What we do with our days is no one’s business but ours. If we have more free time during the day, yay us! We can still be motivated to make positive changes in our lives and the lives of others.

Everyone’s journey is different

I choose to train dogs and I write about how my fitness journey impacts the rest of my life. I also write about how I stay motivated to continue it in the hope that it inspires others to be motivated to succeed in whatever endeavor they wish. It’s not the vocation I expected when I was “downsized” from a major corporation many years ago, but it’s one I embrace now.

As we all get older, we must recognize that we are each more than the niche society wants to stick us in. We all can challenge the aging stereotypes. Just get out there and get interested in whatever the world offers.

Change your mindset, upgrade your life

We are limited by things we tell ourselves. Psychologists call this “self-limiting beliefs.” These are things we really believe at the moment we say it. Things like, “I’m too old to travel.” Or, “I’m not qualified to apply for that job.” Or, “I could never do that yoga pose.” Assumptions that you have about yourself can be dangerous – because they could become true. They don’t start out that way, but in your own brain they can grow and become more negative. The more you believe that you’re too old for something, too out of shape, not qualified, the more these things become true. These beliefs limit your future. They limit what you can become. Believing that you can’t do something kills your motivation before you even begin. But if you change your mindset you can upgrade your life.

Start small

If this is a new concept for you, don’t start trying to change the big things in your brain. It won’t work because you won’t believe yourself. Start small with things that are easy. 

For example, every two weeks I cook from scratch for my sister and me on my day off. Usually there’s enough to put half in the big upright freezer in the basement to defrost and enjoy for dinner in a month or so. We had a backup, though – there were four containers in the big freezer! So I thought that perhaps I would just make something for that night only. One of our favorites – BLT Pizza! It’s like a BLT sandwich but on pizza, with lots of cheese holding the bacon in place. Not exactly low-fat, but we don’t have it often. But I thought – but, I always make a pasta dish to freeze. What if we don’t have enough later in the month? Maybe I’ve lost my touch making pizza. My sister might not like the idea. Then I thought to myself: “Get over it. It’s my night to cook. This is what I want to make. My sister can like it or she can find something else to eat. And we will not run out of things to eat.” Of course, my sister loved it, and we’ve still got plenty of leftovers in the freezer.

If you wake up grumpy, change your mindset right away. Next time you’re in a bad mood when you wake up, smile at yourself in the mirror. You may feel stupid, but no one else is going to see you. And that small act can change your mindset. Try it!

Then go bigger

A strong core does not completely eliminate back pain, as I found.

That pizza sure made me happy. The other day I tweaked my back in the shower. No idea how I did it, but I had a hard time straightening up for days. I thought to myself, “Oh, great. I fancy myself sort of a fitness expert, always focusing on how a strong core can eliminate back pain. I’m a fraud.” I went on like that in my head for a while. But then I sucked in my stomach, straightened up (still painfully) and told myself to get over it.

I’m 68 years old. Sometimes old bones and muscles and other parts hurt. If I didn’t have a strong core, my back would hurt much worse than it does. People will not think I’m a fraud. Most will empathize with me. Keep going the way I’m going. The message is still valid. 

And now, 3 days later as I write this, the back pain is merely a hint of tightness. I can say without a doubt that a strong core reduced my back pain. I changed my mindset from almost accepting that I was a fraud, to a broader one of acknowledging that the message I’ve been giving is true. 

Change your mindset and upgrade your life. It’s great for your healthy aging. And you’ll be happier. Never limit yourself – others will try that all too often. Your motivation is not dependent on others. You can go out and do great things. Always believe that.

How to be resilient and motivated

In recent years we’ve heard that we need to be resilient to be able to withstand all that life throws at us, through the pandemic, political turmoil, weather extremes due to climate change. And we’ve all had this picture of someone who’s resilient: standing tall, perhaps at the edge of a cliff, arms akimbo, staring ahead with a stern expression. This person is mentally tough. She’s got what it takes to take whatever life throws at her. But, does this person have what it takes to still get things done? Is she motivated to still check things off her list? Or is she too busy fending off life’s arrows to maintain her motivation? Here’s why I think it’s not mutually exclusive to be both resilient and motivated.

Resilience defined

To be resilient you have to be able to recover quickly from adversity. You have to be able to take what life throws at you without wallowing. To pick yourself up, dust yourself off and move on to the next challenge. To be resilient and motivated, you have to not only pick yourself up and move on, but move on to a challenge that’s important to you.

Attributes of resilience equated to motivation

To be self-aware, you ahve to know what's inside you.

What does it take to be resilient? You have to know what’s inside you. To be self-aware. Know what makes you tick, and what motivates you. If your family is what’s important to you, then you’ll do whatever it takes for your family’s well-being.

Another aspect of being self-aware is to be mindful. Nurse practitioner Deborah Stamm at Advocate Good Shepherd Hospital says, “Mindfulness is the ability to purposefully bring one’s attention to experiences in the present moment without judgment.” If anyone is resilient in this world, it’s nurses. To be resilient, then, it’s not necessary to judge things that happen to us. Those things are neither good nor bad – they just are. They should not influence our future, nor should they taint the past. Accept them and move on. Life’s out there. 

Go do things

We only get one life. It’s up to us to decide what we want to do with it. So, make goals that are important to you. And follow up on them. Set your intermediate goals and deadlines. Meet them. And then make more goals for your best life. You can be resilient and motivated at the same time. There’s no need to take a backseat in your life.