Change your mindset, change your life

What is happiness? To be deeply happy, do you need to achieve great successes? Reach great heights? Be thin, rich and have lots of friends? Like fitness, happiness is different for everyone. One psychologist seems to consider happiness as transitory, and that we should seek a life of fulfillment. By achieving that fulfillment, Robert Puff, PhD, we can build lasting emotional well-being. And Dr. Puff sees the path of fulfillment as being possible for everyone, not just the few lucky ones. Our brains are malleable. We can shape our destiny. Change your mindset, change your life. Changes are possible.

The key to being happy is in your brain. And Dr. Puff sees four practical challenges you can set yourself as ways to change your brain to be happy.

Observe

The first challenge is to just observe your thoughts. No judgment here. Just observation. Your thoughts are not good or bad. They just are. Acknowledge your thoughts but don’t react.

Change the negative

Are you having negative thoughts? Are your ideas constructive? Whenever I catch myself circling down that negative thought spiral, whether it’s from scrolling through my social media feeds or listening to the news, I stop that. I consciously try to shift my thoughts away from the negativity. If there are questions about the topic, I try to learn more, listen to the entire news story. Then I acknowledge that it’s bad news. 

Is it true? I’ll try to confirm with another source. Because, especially these days, not all stories we see and hear are true. Can I do something about it? No? Then I think about the pretty pink petunias in the flower box at my neighbor’s house.

Positive visualization

Visualize yourself working on and achieving your goals.

Dr. Puff recommends that we “regularly take time to vividly imagine your desired outcomes and feelings.” It doesn’t have to be for an extended period. For a few seconds, see yourself successfully working on one of your goals. Really picture yourself performing the actions. You’re rewiring your brain here. You see success and your brain releases happiness. 

Cultivate gratitude

And finally, Dr. Puff says we all need to cultivate a sense of gratitude. Every day, create a short list of things we’re grateful for in our lives. This shifts your brain from what’s lacking to what’s abundant.

With these 4 challenges, you’ll change your brain. Keep on doing them, you’ll certainly be more content. And you’ll be more likely to follow through on achieving your goals. When you’re optimistic, you want to continue to be happy. You’ll see the way to be happy in the future is by working on the goals you set for yourself and achieving success. So, when you change your mindset, you change your life.

Failure is an option

Despite what we may believe, failure is an option, and sometimes it’s a good one. None of us wants to fail at anything, but it happens. And in many instances, we should embrace it. In fact, in a recent article in Entrepreneur Magazine, the author states that failure is essential for personal growth. And Stephany Kirkpatrick, CEO and Founder of Orum, sees “failure as a superpower.”

One thing I’ve found through life is that there’s usually more than one way to get anywhere. Except in the Florida Keys. Driving through most cities, there are multiple routes you can take to your destination. A couple of years ago my sister and I were on our way to our cousin and there was a huge backup on the highway. It turned out that it was closed due to the Vice President’s motorcade. So we found an alternate route. 

In the Florida Keys, though, there is one main highway. Route 1 takes you from mainland Florida to Key West. There is no other road. My sense of direction is so bad that I once turned the wrong way from my hotel to my destination. Fortunately, I figured it out before I got to the 7-Mile Bridge and was able to turn around. This is, literally, a bridge that’s 7 miles long from Marathon to the Lower Keys with no entrances or exits until you get to the other side.

When you’re working toward a goal, sometimes the actions you take toward an intermediate step don’t work. When that happens, it could be beneficial. It will make you think about that goal and how to get there. When the obvious path doesn’t work, if you still want to make that goal happen, it’s time to get creative and figure out an alternate route. And your new path may be even better. 

To figure out your new plan, step back and approach the problem from a different angle. Or even try going backwards. Start at the end point and reverse-engineer the process.

When you’re forced to switch gears and rethink your plan, you’re actually wiring more adaptability and resilience in your brain. You’re better able to face other obstacles that may be in your way. You could be doing more for your healthy aging than if your initial plan had worked.

The key to achieving a goal is to create a plan and stick with it – until that plan no longer works. Recognize that your initial plan is not the best one and develop a new one. Your new plan may get you to that finish line in an even better position than if the original plan had worked.

When something’s a habit, you don’t need motivation

You don’t need motivation

What do you do that’s a habit? Something you do every day, most likely without thinking twice about it? Make coffee, brush your teeth, take the dog for a walk, tie your shoes, put your seatbelt on. You don’t even think about it and it gets done. It turns out that when something’s a habit you don’t need motivation!

No motivation to exercise

I’ve mentioned that exercise is one of my habits. Monday and Thursday when I’m done with work or errands I change and hop on the treadmill. Tuesday is yoga and flexibility, Wednesday is Pilates and Saturday is my combo day – aerobics and strength. I don’t even have to think about it. The workout’s done and I get to enjoy a nice relaxing shower. Exercise has become a habit for me through the years. I’ve tweaked that habit a number of times over the years, but it remains. It’s part of my healthy aging, part of my resilience. I exercise to support my fitness so that I can do what I want to do when I want to do it.

It’s not just me

Psychology Today recently published an article that supports this. Long-term fitness success is built on small, sustainable actions. And fitness habits are sustained “when they reflect the person you want to become, not just what you want to do.” 

So think about the person you want to be. Picture yourself six months from now. What are you doing? What hobbies do you see yourself enjoying? Are you travelling? Working in your garden? Training your dog? How are you moving while you’re doing all that?

Are those dream pictures the real you?

Ask yourself if this is the real you – if it’s the you that you want to become in those pictures. Now ask yourself if these are just pie-in-the-sky dreams or if you can actually see yourself making the changes needed to make them happen. For changes to happen, the motivation is built in. We’ve all tried a lot of stuff that didn’t work for us in the past. For me it was blow-drying my hair. I did it for work and hated it. As soon as I could, I stopped and am just air-drying my hair now. (In all honesty, I probably should dry it, as long as my hair is now, but I just can’t…) So in order for you to stick with something, it has to be something you don’t mind doing in the first place.

Or, associate something with it that you enjoy – like for me, listening to an action-packed novel while I run. Elevate the thing you’re not thrilled with somehow. And then make it a habit. Do what it takes so that you don’t have to think about doing it consistently.

At first, work the process to make it a habit

Make exercise a habit.

You know what that takes – schedule it on your calendar, put your clothes out, and keep that appointment with yourself. Take a deep breath and do it. Your motivation to do the thing is there – you’ve pictured yourself as the end result of it. Your motivation is built into your actions. You know what it takes to get there. You’ve committed to it. And you’re making it a habit you can live with. When something’s a habit you don’t need motivation. The motivation underlies everything, but it’s not a giant gold medal at the Olympics thing. 

Make exercise a habit. Your fitness journey lies on a path that you take steps on every day.

Mental health awareness month

May is Mental Health Awareness Month. I think every month should be that, because if there’s one thing we all need to safeguard these days, it’s our mental health. The World Health Organization defines mental health as “a state of mental well-being that enables people to cope with the stresses of life, realize their abilities, learn well and work well, and contribute to their community.” What does that mean for our everyday lives? When we’re mentally healthy, I believe, we have a positive outlook, are productive at work and at home, and interact with others in a positive way. 

Mental health awareness to start the day

That’s not to say that we wake up every day with a smile on our face. Far from it. There are stresses galore in today’s world, so taking care of our own mental health has to start early in the day. For me, it’s waking up in a panic, thinking about everything I have to do that I didn’t get done yesterday, taking a few deep breaths as I make my way to the bathroom, and drinking a glass of water. Then I try to smile at my dogs as I take them outside for their first time of the morning – not only reinforcing the positivity, but also setting the tone for the rest of the day. 

A smile turns your mood around

When you smile, it actually does help your positivity. The NIH published a study a few years ago indicating that smiling releases dopamine right into your brain. You feel a reward for smiling. If that’s not instant gratification, I don’t know what is. And with that shot of dopamine, your optimism rises and so does your resilience.

Physical and mental health are intertwined

If you're feeling anxious and stressed, meditation can help you focus on health and well-being.

I’ve written about how to turn your mindset around. And it’s really common sense stuff. Make sure you get enough sleep, eat healthy foods, and exercise. All of this helps you be aware of and to protect your mental health. Yes, these are things we do to care for our physical health, but our physical and mental health are intertwined. They can’t be separated. When our bodies are strong, that’s usually a sign that our minds are strong as well.

So, prioritizing our mental health is crucial. Check in with yourself. Take time for you. Even a couple of minutes to clear your mind can be like a mini-vacation. Take a walk outside. Get together with friends. Make mental health awareness part of every day.

Not wanting to exercise is normal

It’s really not you – not wanting to exercise is normal.

It turns out that not wanting to exercise is normal. It turns out that as we get older, lots of systems in our body decline. You knew that – eyesight, hearing, cognition, memory. And we don’t want to exercise. That’s because of declining systems in our brain. Namely, our dopamine synthesis and dopamine receptors. That means that cognitive control, emotion and mood, motor function, positive reward, and motivation are also naturally declining. That means our natural enjoyment of life, our happiness and our motivation to exercise really does decrease as we get older.

It’s just not the same as before

So it is normal that we don’t feel like doing anything but mindlessly binge a series on Netflix. Or that we lack ambition to do anything but sit around. A recent article in Psychology Today notes that since our dopamine levels decline, we don’t get the satisfaction out of doing anything like we did in years past.

That’s depressing. I get that we all may not care that not wanting to exercise is normal, but how about the enjoyment that we get from other activities? I certainly want to experience the happiness of a good meal with friends or the enjoyment of reading a good book or listening to an amazing musical performance.

So how can we get back to feeling all these things?

First off, know that what helps one person feel things or become  motivated may not work for another. We all feel things differently – we’re not wired the same. 

Future to present – focus on the now

Find the joy in the little things if you prefer toexercise alone.

In looking at what made older people happy, one theory suggests that people’s motivation shifts from considering the future to being anchored in the present. And for motivation to exercise, older people are more likely to join a group to exercise rather than doing it alone. I guess I’m the weirdo here (preferring my solo exercise). So focusing on relationships can help you get fit as well as make you happy. Be with people you enjoy spending time with and encourage them to join you in exercise. It will help your body, your mind, your resilience and your healthy aging.

For those of us who prefer to go it alone, then continue to make exercise a habit. And find the joy in the little things – one more push-up. One more tenth of a mile. I listened to a great book while running.

We can boost our motivation to exercise

No wonder we don’t feel like exercising! We’ve been missing a vital piece of the puzzle.  You know how frustrated you get when you’re putting together a jigsaw puzzle and there’s a piece missing? Either you dropped it on the floor sometime or it was never in the box to start with. That’s what has been happening with our exercise. Here’s the missing piece to boost our motivation to exercise!

Add this to your motivation toolbox

Yes. Even after all these years, I need to (figuratively) give myself a kick in the behind to get up and exercise. I don’t enjoy it, I never have. But it’s a habit now, and you know if you ignore your good habits the thought just hangs over you like a cloud the rest of the day until you do it. Do you enjoy exercising? Didn’t think so. That’s why it’s so hard to get motivated. But what if you learned of a new element that, when you add it to your motivation toolbox, it fires you up and gets you moving?

It works with your step tracker

Many people already use a device to track their steps. I talked about this a few weeks ago – it’s fun to get that affirmation when you reach your step goal every day. And that’s great as far as it goes. 

Add mindfulness training to a step tracker to boost motivation to exercise.

We already know about the benefits of exercise. How it boosts our cognition, improves our strength, helps our sleep, and helps us to lose weight. Exercise helps us become more optimistic and resilient, and certainly encourages our healthy aging. But knowing about those benefits doesn’t get us to the gym or pushing “Play” on exercise videos at home. But the addition of a mindfulness app can help us go the rest of the way – beyond tracking our steps. When we’re aware of our body and how it moves, we’re more likely to add the strength elements and additional cardio conditioning we need. 

Add mindfulness training

According to a study published in the journal Mental Health and Physical Activity, researchers from the University of Bath discovered that the combination of step tracking with mindfulness training boosted participants’ motivation to continue exercising. And participants also exercised for a longer period of time every week that they used that combination.

So, I don’t know about you, but I’m going to search for a mindfulness app to install on my phone. It’s the missing piece to boost our motivation to exercise.

Quit the goals that don’t work for you

When is it okay to quit a goal? I’ve written a lot about setting and achieving goals. Fitness goals that can take you from winded walking down the street to running a 10K. Life goals that take you from a disorganized sad person to a Marie Kondo wannabe. But how about when you want to quit a goal? When is that okay?

Look back and assess

At the beginning of a calendar quarter or year I like to look back and then forward and try to decide on the things I want to achieve in the next few weeks or months. Those goals can be big ones, or little, some of each. When I achieve those goals, they should bring some kind of happiness and fulfillment to my life. 

If trying to achieve a full Side Plank Star makes you frustrated, rethink that goal.

But what happens if you’ve been working toward a goal that you set and it’s just not happening. Every time you think about doing that work, you get sad or find something else to do. You’re thinking about just not following through on that one. You’re thinking that you’re ready to quit a goal.

If a goal isn’t working for you

But, is that so horrible? If you find that a goal is no longer important to you, or if you’re just frustrated, then it ‘s time to rethink that goal. Ryan, from Point to Point Strength and Performance says, “Although quitting is usually associated with failure and a lack of grit and perseverance, it isn’t always a bad thing.” 

Look back, then, and determine if you’re getting closer to that goal. If you are, you may want to push just a little more and then reassess at the end of the week or quarter. You could just be at what Seth Godin, marketing expert and entrepreneur, calls “the dip.” If you’re closer than you were before and you believe that the goal is worth pursuing, keep at it. Your resilience is growing regardless. And if it’s a fitness goal, you’re reaching for that ultimate goal of healthy aging.

Our lives may not align with the goal

But elements of our lives change. What we thought would be important to us may no longer be important. Or training for the race just leaves us drained and weak. Time to reassess or even toss that goal. If you’re constantly frustrated when you’re working toward a goal, it could be that the goal wasn’t formulated well. Reassess. And be honest with yourself. Redo the worksheet in your Get It Done Guide. There’s no shame when you quit a goal, but make sure that it no longer matters to you.

It’s okay when you don’t know something

How to push on with your push-ups when you don’t know how

Let’s say you’ve set a fitness goal – like doing 10 regular push-ups in 6 weeks, and you currently can do 6 from your knees. That’s a great goal. It’s specific and probably achievable. You’ve set your intermediate goals, scheduled your workouts and got started. (If you’ve got visions of where you want to be but no idea of how to get there, download the Get It Done Guide for tips on setting your own goals!) Week 2 you can do 20 push-ups from your knees but can’t seem to progress to even one on your toes. What’s going wrong? How do you know when to ask for help? And realize that it’s okay when you don’t know something?

No shame in asking for help

There’s no shame in looking for additional help. When a goal is meaningful to you and you think that you’ve set all your benchmarks in place, but you feel like you’re swimming in place, it may be time to look for help. You can have all the motivation in the world – you really want to be strong enough to do those push-ups, but if it’s not happening and you’re getting frustrated, it’s time to seek outside answers.

Different ways to figure things out

It’s important to know, too, that asking for help or seeking outside answers is beneficial as well. When you shift your mindset from, “I’ve got to get this done!” to “I have to figure out a way to get this done!” then the challenges you face become opportunities and not roadblocks. When you learn about new ways of doing things, you enhance your own evolution. Continuing to learn will increase your resilience, and improve your outlook. What you saw as a failure previously, you can now see as additional motivation.

Pros have help all the time

None of us knows everything about anything. It’s okay when you don’t know something. And asking for help is a sign of strength. You’re smart enough to recognize that you don’t know something and humble enough to find the answers to your problem. And every professional athlete has a coach, a trainer, and other professionals helping them on their journey.

Intermediate push-ups steps

But back to our push-ups. From my own research, I learned some great ways to progress from knees to toes. They include push-ups on one knee, one straight leg. Also, doing push-ups leaning against a wall helps develop the upper body strength we need. And the plank exercise – from either the forearms or hands also increases our upper body strength. Remember to keep your core tight – always! – and your back straight. Don’t try to bend your elbows too much, either, especially at first!

Playing games to boost fitness

Every evening after work I play games – do puzzles, actually. There’s Sudoku, a picture cross game, and another painting game. Sometimes I fit in a game or two of Spider Solitaire as well. I love my puzzles. After lunch, I play a hidden object game. I tell myself it’s to exercise my focus away from the floaters in my eyes, but it’s really fun. I love my games. And the last few years, lots of people are playing games to boost fitness.

Tech to track fitness

Do you use an app that tells you how intense your workout was? Or do you follow an exercise program online? Some even use virtual reality to follow an exercise program. That’s definitely playing games to boost fitness. 

Do you wear a smart watch that tracks your steps during the day? Does it assess your sleep? You’re playing games to boost fitness. When your watch tells you that you’ve hit your goal for the day, how do you feel? Does your watch send you confetti and congratulations? There’s that hit of dopamine. It makes you want to pump your fist in the air and say, “Yes! I did it!” 

It gets you off the couch

“I’m always going to be a fan of anything that gets people moving,” says Laura Girard, CPT, a trainer and online fitness coach. If an app or a VR set gets people off the couch and exercising, it’s a really good thing. Some of the newer virtual reality technology even has the capability of assessing your form as you perform the exercises or go through the active game. That’s certainly more affordable than hiring a personal trainer, if you’ve already got the VR set.

Alternatively, playing active video games can also get your heart rate up while you’re fighting bad guys. Anything that gets you moving is good – even if it’s playing a fantasy role-playing game. Maybe especially if it’s a fantasy role-playing game!

Provides accountability and motivation

Move to get more energy!

The tracker you wear also provides the accountability and motivation that you need to progress toward your fitness goals. Your watch may give you sound or display notifications, and Lauren Cook, PsyD, a clinical psychologist says, “I think a lot of people are more active because they want to get that dopamine kick of seeing that they closed their rings or hit a step goal.”

But at least one field experiment found that, while the tech provides immediate gratification and keeps us accountable in the moment, it doesn’t provide lasting habit-forming effects.

Tech is not the answer for everyone

And tech may not be the answer for everyone to boost fitness and create long-lasting habits for our healthy aging. People can stress over too much tech or obsess over the data it provides. But tracking our goals and our progress is still incredibly important. But no matter how you’re tracking your progress, be intentional about the goals you track. Don’t try to track everything. And if you’re wary of the tech, the pen-and-paper route is still valuable. The Basic Workout Tracker is a great start. And for some it may be even better. It’s the route that I take. I actually did add a pedometer app to my phone, but I hardly ever have my phone on me, so it’s not much use. When you have your goals written in your own handwriting on a piece of paper, you could be even  more likely to achieve them. You’ll still get that dopamine zing when you’re able to check something off on your page.

So games and tech are certainly fun, but playing games to boost fitness is the smart way to use today’s tech for our healthy aging.

Best exercises for healthy aging

I think about healthy aging quite a bit because I write about it. But I don’t think people my age should think about it. I think my peers should be actively doing everything they can for their healthy aging instead. The first thing many people think about  relating to fitness is exercise, so here are the best exercises for healthy aging, according to many experts.

Strength

Strength work exercises are great for our healthy aging.

At our age, we have to focus on strength. When we’re strong, we can do things like get out of a chair without assistance, or climb stairs. When we’re moving against resistance, whether that’s our own body weight, free weights, or even resistance bands, that’s making us stronger. Strength training improves muscle mass, bone density and circulation. And the current recommendation is to do strength training twice a week to promote healthy aging.

Endurance

The dreaded aerobics. When we improve our endurance, we can walk for longer periods of time, making those walking tours a distinct possibility when we’re on vacation. Hikes with family and friends at home are also on the table. We exercise our heart and lungs when we work on our endurance, so we won’t get out of breath getting to the store from a far space in a parking lot. Cardio work also can be great to maintain healthy blood sugar levels and blood pressure. 

Mobility

During the day I can feel myself stiffen up if I don’t move around. Flexibility or mobility work helps us maintain or improve our range of motion. I can tie my shoes. I can reach a spot on my back that has an itch (mostly). A good way to get mobility work in is to incorporate it into our warm-up or cool-down from our strength or endurance work. Don’t skimp on flexibility, but it’s important not to overdo it, either. Incorporate movements that feel good to you.

Balance

Improving balance can help reduce falls. This one is really important to me, and balance exercises are certainly some of the best exercises for healthy aging. I suffered a fall a number of years ago which led me to promoting balance exercises. Here’s a nasty statistic: falls account for three quarters of deaths in people over 75 in the US. Don’t be a statistic. Download Your Week of Core-Centered Balance Moves and join the private Facebook group Balance for Fitness Balance for Life. A variety of balance exercises are highlighted, none of which take more than 2 minutes a day or require changing into gym clothes.

Cognition

Exercise your brain. Like every other body part, your brain needs work to keep it stimulated and operating at peak efficiency. We know that when we exercise our body, our brain benefits. A variety of brain exercises also help keep us engaged. And it’s not just Sudoku puzzles or crosswords that help. Jigsaw puzzles, arts and crafts, and other puzzles help.

One more thing helps keep us fit and engaged – interacting with others. So get moving and stay healthy.