Grateful for everything

Does anyone understand how time works? One minute I’m not making resolutions for the New Year, and the next we’re roasting the Thanksgiving turkey. How does that happen? Anyway. It’s that time of year when everyone shares with the people around the table what they’re grateful for. I’m grateful for everything. 

Gratitude brings resilience

This year has been tough, but we’ve proven that we’re tougher. We’ve shown resilience in the face of numerous obstacles, and grown stronger as a result. We’ve shown the world that even when things don’t go our way, we can still hold our heads high and be grateful that we’ll have another opportunity to show our stuff. We can be grateful for everything we’ve got, even when that’s not much.

What I’m grateful for

Grateful for my dogs, and being able to get up from the floor.

My old dogs are still around. The 15-year-old wanders around and messes in the house more, but he’s still mostly healthy (knock on wood). Booker (pictured) is 12, and he’s very special too. I’m grateful for having the ability to move my body pretty much how I want when I want. I’m grateful to be able to get up from the floor. I’m also grateful for my senses. I can experience all the wonders around me.

What does being grateful for everything bring?

Okay. enough about me. Showing gratitude every day brings optimism and joy, essential for your healthy aging. And expressing it will make you feel even better. You would think that it would work the other way – that the person who you’re expressing gratitude to would feel the joy, but it’s you. When you express your thanks, you’re acknowledging that someone else thought about you. Someone wanted to make things a little easier for you. And knowing that will give you what I call the “warm fuzzies.” That feeling will last for far longer than the moment it takes you to express your gratitude.

You don’t have to express your thanks out loud. A note will work. And if it’s not a person you’re grateful to, writing in a Gratitude Journal works, too. It’s also a wonder to look back on and rediscover the feelings.

I have a lot of people to thank. I’ll get started now.

Time or Money: The price of a holiday

I’ve said “Everything in moderation” frequently. And it’s the watchword I live by. I never say “No” to dessert. If I want potatoes, I’ll plop a spoonful on my plate. Having lost a lot of weight years ago and kept it off, I always watch what I eat and try to eat a nutritious diet every day. Except for Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving is the one day all the eating rules fly out the window. Thanksgiving is the day when more is better. As long as it’s really good food. But, what’s the price of all that really good food? What is the price of a holiday?

What’s being counted?

The price depends on what we’re counting. If it’s calories, to me Thanksgiving is worth it. It’s the one day a year we celebrate what we have. If I want to celebrate with chocolate pecan pie, I’m making it! Or we could be counting the cost of the meal. Again, to me, Thanksgiving is not the day to be pinching pennies. And then time might be an issue. It takes a while to prepare all that yummy goodness. As my sister and I enjoy cooking together and don’t usually have other guests on Thanksgiving, we’re making the most of our time.

Time is more than the cost for some

What are you counting as the price of a holiday?

But not everybody has the luxury of being with family and guests while cooking. It’s no fun being away in the kitchen while everyone else is sharing stories and experiences in another room. In fact, in an article I read, one dietitian opts for a store-bought Thanksgiving dinner instead of preparing it herself. This is despite the added calories, sugar and salt she knows the prepared dinner has.

But, are you concerned about eating healthy?

On yet another hand, if, for health reasons, the holiday is less important than sticking with your meal plan, then you may choose to forego the traditional dinner and choose a healthier option. There’s certainly nothing wrong with a delicious roasted chicken or turkey with fresh vegetables for side dishes rather than stuffing and mashed potatoes. 

Thanksgiving is about trade-offs. What’s important to you may not be the thing that’s most important to someone else. I enjoy preparing the meal, perhaps it’s because I’m with the important people in my life. To others, the meal is less important than the company. So the food may not be as high in quality as it might be if it were home-made. But being with good company boosts our resilience.

So, prioritize the things that are important to you. Be with your friends and family. Be healthy. Or enjoy the process and then the meal itself. The price of a holiday is what you put on it, in the end.

When your state of mind makes it impossible to get stuff done

Some days, no matter what you do, you still feel like it’s impossible to get stuff done. I get it. You used to feel like you were invincible. And you felt like your resilience knew no bounds. But some days, when the world beats at you from every direction, you feel like you just want to curl into a little ball and hibernate for the foreseeable future. But even though it feels like it’s impossible, there’s still stuff that needs to get done. 

So, how do you go about doing it?

When not even looking at your Get Stuff Done Funtime Menu helps you get past the whirlwind in your brain, how can you even start?

First, center yourself. If my brain is whirling when I have to get stuff done, I know it’s just a waste of time. I can’t help my brain from whirling, but I can shift gears and give it a mental shove to focus on something else. Psychologist Lauren Kerwin, PhD, recommends practicing mindfulness for one minute every day on each of your senses:

Focus on something you see as part of your mindfulness exercise - here, my dog.

One minute on something you can see: your dog, a bird outside the window, the color of your floor tiles.
Something you can touch: a blanket, the water running through your fingers.
Then on something you can smell: tea, essential oil, laundry detergent on your shirt.
And something you can hear: the hum of the air conditioner, a car driving by.
Finally something you can taste: toothpaste, food you’re eating.

This practice grounds you in the physical world and helps your brain move past the tornado.

But how can you get stuff done even after you’re grounded?

Chances are, even after you’ve done the exercises to ground yourself, you’re still feeling pretty shaky. I know I feel vulnerable after this, and not ready to start to get stuff done. When you’re feeling less like there’s a tornado in your head, but it’s still impossible to get stuff done, how do you even start?

Just start

Do something. Take one step. Make it a small step. A very tiny step. And then another. Then another. The idea here is to reach a point where you can take action. Because starting small is still starting. If you can only do five minutes of work – whatever the work may be, it’s still five minutes you couldn’t have done before. It’s a start. 

And tomorrow you can do more. You’ve proven your resilience before.

5 Ways to Create a Positive Mindset

It’s tough these days. The world seems to be getting smaller and more nervous all at the same time. With instant access to so many media sources, it’s easy to become overwhelmed. And this week has brought it all to the fore. My brain has been churning so much that I’ve had to completely check out a few times to not break down completely. And checking out – turning everything off – is one way to create a positive mindset (see below). 

One way to create a positive mindset is exercise.

Why does a positive mindset matter? If you believe that things are dark, you’ll never see the light again, and you’ll never be able to do anything about it, then you won’t. You’ll be stuck in that dark place because you believe it. On the other hand, if you completely believe that something is possible, you’ll make it happen. An article in the Journal of Neurochemistry indicates that our brains adapt to changes in its environment. It’s not as simple as affirming that everything is okay, but our brains are quite malleable. And we can make that positive change happen. You’ll be happier, more productive and more resilient. Here are some ways to create a positive mindset and let ourselves get things done.

Stop doomscrolling

I found myself getting more and more depressed with each post I read the other day. I had to consciously turn my phone off to get out of that spiral. So, when things get to be too much, just turn your screens off. It can be for five minutes or five hours. Take the time you need.

Sleep

Make sure you get enough sleep. Being tired affects your mood, your productivity and your health. Stick to a consistent sleep routine. It helps.

Get one thing done

Set your priorities for the day, making sure that you choose a few intermediate steps toward your goals. You’ve developed these in the worksheet included in the Get It Done Guide. And get one thing done. Just one little thing checked off can really improve your mood. It’s so satisfying.

Exercise

I’ve said it before – those endorphins from intense exercise are real. I feel a bazillion times better after a workout. After a tough exercise session, I’m a much nicer person.

Meditate

It’s not woowoo. It really does help to center you and help your mind stop churning. A short guided meditation (download one for under a dollar here) can clear your brain and help you become more productive.

Use any or all of these techniques to create a positive mindset. They work for me.

Get Stuff Done Funtime Menu

One from Column A on your Get Stuff Done Funtime Menu to get your motivation going.

My sister and I are in the midst of switching our ecommerce platform and the stress from that, along with everything else, is taking its toll. Google has lost our online shop while we’re switching, so sales are nonexistent. Tango, my geriatric dog, hasn’t been well the last couple of days as I’m writing this. The tire pressure light in my car came on when I was on my way to a client. My motivation has fossilized. I can’t get anything done because I’m so stressed.

And then I remembered an article about the Dopamine Menu. Create a menu of courses of things that make you feel better. Do a little one – that’s the “choose one from Column A” like on a Chinese restaurant menu – and you’ll get the boost to get your motivation going. I like to call it my Get Stuff Done Funtime Menu. Weird name, right? But it perfectly describes what it’s used for. When your motivation has gone, pick up your Menu and choose something to just get something done.

There’s so much to do, but I don’t feel like doing anything. I’m scared to get it wrong. I’m scared to interfere with something that needs to happen on its own. My bank balance is diminishing. But life goes on. And I know that better days are on the horizon. I just have to get there. But how? 

Enter the Get Stuff Done Funtime Menu. Because, no matter how much you want to get stuff done, if you’re paralyzed with fear, it’s not going to happen. Here’s how to unparalyze yourself. 

Create your Menu

I encourage you to create your Get Stuff Done Funtime Menu when you’re not feeling stressed. You won’t be creative, you won’t think of a thing to put on your menu. So start this project when you’re calm and have about twenty minutes. Things to keep in mind: none of us has unlimited time. That’s why we create 3 columns. The Appetizer, The Main Dish, and Dessert. Yes, dessert. We deserve it. And when you don’t feel like doing anything, check your Get Stuff Done Funtime Menu – especially Dessert, knowing that if you’re serious and do Get Stuff Done, a reward awaits!

So get your completed worksheets from your Get It Done Guide and get to work. You’ve filled out a worksheet for each of your goals, and you’ll want to put items from all of your worksheets in your Menu.

The Appetizer

Each entry in your Appetizer column should take no more than 10 – 15 minutes to complete. Sorting the mail or cleaning out your sock drawer, as examples. Or for me, as an example from this morning, changing the code to the Packing Slip template on our new ecommerce platform. This should be something that doesn’t take long but ticks one little thing off the list. Don’t have a list? Check your Get Stuff Done worksheet for a small Intermediate step toward one of your goals.

Your Main Dish

Go for a walk and get some fresh air when you're feeling paralyzed.

As the name implies, the Main Dish column on your Get Stuff Done Funtime Menu should be more meaty. It could take a few hours. Again, check your worksheet for a bigger Intermediate Step toward a Big Goal. So, in my example, setting up the Rewards application on our new ecommerce site could fit the bill as a Main Dish. 

Or, if you know you need to exercise but really can’t face changing for a full exercise session, call a friend and go for a walk. The fresh air will revitalize you. You’ll be in a better frame of mind when you’re done too.

Dessert

The reward for a job well done! But be careful here – don’t blow the budget or the calorie reserve. Keep the size of the task in mind when you choose a dessert – they should be in line. And your Dessert can be used as incentive for actually getting stuff done!

And when you actually do accomplish something, your mindset will be more positive. That leads to more resilience. And you’ll be happier.

Try the Winter Arc challenge for focus on health and well-being

Days are really getting short now. I wake up in the dark, and it’s dark again by suppertime. It’s easy to say, “Why bother?” and go eat that lasagna. The whole pan of lasagna. It’s the lull before the holiday storm, when candy goes on sale but before the big Thanksgiving push is on when all the recipes you see are for “healthy sides.” If this sounds all too familiar, you can join me in hopping on the newest trend – the “Winter Arc” challenge. Use these cold, dark months to refocus on health and well-being.

Focus on health and well-being

I know I need the Winter Arc challenge. My sister and I are transitioning our website to a more modern ecommerce platform. We got our domain name 20 – yes, twenty! – years ago and it’s not transferring smoothly. The company we purchased the name from was acquired and merged several times, and settings changed without our permission or knowledge and it, just, not good. So I need to refocus on my well-being. 

What’s needed for calm?

First, I have to figure out exactly what I need to do to feel calmer and more centered. I’m not missing too many workout sessions, so that’s good. My nutrition is the same as always. My diet is completely boring. I eat the same things almost every day, with some variations for dinner. Don’t follow my lead on that, because you don’t want to be boring. For me, it’s easy. It tastes good and is nutritious. But I completely advocate adding variety.

Meditation for mindset

If you're feeling anxious and stressed, meditation can help you focus on health and well-being.

So, what’s left? Mindset. I said a few months ago that I was going to add more meditation breaks to my day. And did I? No, sadly. So to refocus on health and well-being, I’m committing to more meditation. I’m getting out my Get It Done worksheet, creating my goal and scheduling meditation breaks on my calendar. And this will be one of my non-negotiable tasks each day. My meditation breaks won’t be long – no more than 5 minutes at a time.

A positive mindset, which is impossible when you’re under stressed, has been shown to improve health on its own. And positivity and optimism adds to our resilience.

So I’ll schedule my meditation breaks – mostly I’ll close my eyes and listen to a short guided meditation. And in a couple of weeks, I’ll reassess and figure out if this has helped to refocus health and well-being.

Feel more energized even when there’s more to do

How to feel more energized through the day

Many days I’m working away on a project and at some point in the afternoon, it feels like I hit a wall. Do you feel that way? If you do,we’re not alone! Many people run out of juice at some point in the afternoon. Even if we start strong, we’re exposed to many stressors during the day that take a toll. And even though your motivation is strong to continue the work, if you feel like you have to curl up and take a nap, the work is not going to be your best. But, don’t feel like you have to go on feeling drained and out of sorts. And not by grabbing a candy bar at 3:00, either. Here are some ways to feel more energized throughout your day.

Eat more balanced meals

If you’re a grab-on-the-go type of person, it may be time to rethink your eating routine. When you combine protein, carbs and healthy fats for all three meals during your day, you’re set for optimum energy. Dawn Jackson Blatner, RDN, says, “The key to an energizing diet is getting the right ‘fuel mix’ at each meal.” One quarter of your plate should be whole grains, another quarter protein and the rest colorful produce, topped with a healthy fat. That way your body has the nutrients it needs to be energized all day, avoiding spikes and crashes in your blood sugar. So your energy will be stable through the day.

Take breaks

Sometimes I can work on a project for hours at a time without looking up. That’s great for the work, but when I do finally get up, I feel stiff and groggy, and my eyes have trouble focusing. When I know I’ll be in the groove I have to set a timer to make sure I take a break. The alarm on my phone works great for this. That break can be just a few minutes, but when I get back I definitely feel more energized. Even if that break is just going to the washroom or taking the dogs outside.

Move!

Move to get more energy!

As I’ve written before, it seems counter-intuitive that exercise will give you energy, but even Harvard Medical School says it’s true. Your muscles produce mitochondria when you exercise, which allows your body to use the food you’ve eaten as fuel. So, more mitochondria means more fuel and more energy. A couple of days a week I exercise in the late afternoon, when my energy level is at the lowest point. After my workout on those days I actually do feel more energetic. Strange but true.

Those are just a few ways to feel more energized. On days when I have to keep working in the late afternoon, I also like to have a little snack of a few almonds or peanut butter on celery. It keeps me going until dinnertime.

Do it for your future self

This is for whatever it is you don’t want to do today. Don’t want to exercise? You don’t want to eat nutritious food? Or you don’t want to work on that project you’ve been putting off? I get it. Some days it’s all too tempting to stay under the covers, eat chocolate and chips and binge Emily in Paris or whatever show you’re into. But think about how you’ll feel tomorrow. And all the tomorrows after that if you don’t show up for yourself. It’s easier to not do the things. But those things will stay the way they are. You’re not going to get the benefits from exercise. Your body will not get the vitamins and minerals from the healthy food. And you’ll still have that project hanging over your head.  Do it for your future self.

How your future self will feel

Keep moving for healthy aging. And for my future self.

Think about how you want to feel in the future. For me, I want to feel no pain, or at least less pain. Also, to be able to stand tall and not hunched or with rounded shoulders will be good. I’d like my legs to be able to hold me up, and my core to be strong and stable to share the load. I want to breathe freely and not get winded when I walk. Does this sound good to you? For our healthy aging, this doesn’t seem to be an outrageous goal.

The food we eat is reflected on the outside

What goes into our bodies should be good for the outside as well. The food we consume has an affect on our bodies – inside and out. Our skin reflects the good nutrition that goes in. We feel better when we eat nutritious food. Of course, I’m not going to say no to a piece of good chocolate, but on the whole I try to maintain a healthy diet.

Working toward a goal keeps us resilient

When we work toward a goal, even just for a little bit every day, we’re being optimistic for the future. We’re happy when we have an objective. And creating achievable goals keeps us focused on that future. We want something to have happened to make a better future for ourselves. That’s what goal-making is about. And if you’ve set goals in the past but not achieved them, then download the Get It Done Guide. It’ll help. Seriously.

So keep on working toward goals. Exercise regularly. And eat good food. It will show in your future self.

Get uncomfortable to get motivated

Discomfort is only uncomfortable until it becomes comfortable. Get uncomfortable.

Get uncomfortable to achieve your goals

And that’s another way of saying that you should get uncomfortable so that you can achieve your goals. Discomfort happens when you reach for something that’s beyond your grasp now. Like running. When you start running, even after warming up with some stretches and walking, it feels odd and uncomfortable. But when you keep on doing it, even during the same session, running becomes more comfortable. You get used to the motion. The first few times the motion may not seem completely natural (for me, it’s still not natural), but it’s not as uncomfortable any longer.

Embrace discomfort to grow

Get uncomfortable to succeed.

Some athletes embrace the pain they feel when training, so that they can move past it and improve. I don’t relish pain of any sort. The most I want to feel in my workout is discomfort, and even that is a stretch. But the idea is the same. In order to grow in any endeavor, many feel that it’s necessary to challenge yourself. The challenge can then lead to increased motivation to succeed. In fact, Stanford professor Carol Dweck in her book Mindset: The New Psychology of Success, reveals that students with a growth mindset, that is the belief that they can grow and develop, outperformed their peers with a fixed mindset.

Challenge yourself and succeed

It’s not just in learning more that we succeed by challenging ourselves. In the running example, we can grow – that is, run faster and longer – by pushing ourselves a little more each time we run. That is, get uncomfortable a little more. At the end of a few sessions, that little push becomes more comfortable, almost natural, and then we can push even more. Challenge ourselves a little more. This starts with a single push of the up button. When I’m at the maximum speed I did last time and it doesn’t feel too bad, I just push the increase speed button one time. Increase my speed by just one tenth of a mile per hour. Not too bad. Not even too noticeable, in fact. And I don’t sustain that for long – just a minute, maybe less.

I’ll keep the same maximum speed for a few days until the increase is indiscernible. And then I’ll do it again. It does help to journal my workout – my average speed, maximum speed, how it felt, when I feel I can push it again. If you just want the bare bones of a workout tracker, download the Basic Workout Tracker today. If you want more, check out the Fitness Journal and Tracker which has pages for nutrition and, my favorite, goal planning and tracking!

Challenge yourself more to achieve more

So, get uncomfortable. And soon the concept of pushing beyond boundaries becomes the norm. Then you can push more. Challenge yourself more. You’ll be amazed at what you can achieve. It doesn’t happen overnight. But it will happen. You’ll become more resilient. When things in your life go sideways, you’ll think, I’ve achieved so much, I can push through this. And your resilience will make you more optimistic and ultimately happier, which means good things for your healthy aging.

Get uncomfortable. And you’ll go far.

Change is hard. But sometimes worth it.

Change is hard. But I’ll get to that in a minute. I’m lucky enough to be getting older. And while I’m approaching my healthy aging with good habits and intentions, there are days when my knees, hips and shoulders let me know that they’ve been used. Those days I’m stiff and achy and grumpy. My sister wanted to try turmeric paste, or “Golden Paste,” for our aging dogs, and she suggested that I try it too. I agreed, because it’s all natural and I don’t mind the taste. 

Benefits of turmeric

While there’s no real definitive study that proves this to be true, there are studies that suggest that turmeric, when combined with black pepper, is effective in reducing the risk of chronic inflammation and in reducing arthritis pain. Plus some research suggests that it helps fight cognitive decline, which is especially important for our healthy aging. You’ll note that turmeric is combined with black pepper for better absorption and effectiveness. I don’t like black pepper, especially not in large quantities.

How to incorporate the stuff into my diet?

So, there’s the dilemma. Change is hard. But I want to incorporate this “Golden Paste”  into my diet. The paste is prepared by reducing a large amount of turmeric in water, then adding coconut oil and a large amount of black pepper as the mixture cools. I tried mixing the paste in my morning orange juice. It was terrible. I mentioned that I don’t like black pepper to start with, and mixing it in orange juice was really awful. But, I’m resilient. I can come back from this awfulness and think of something else.

An old-timey solution

Then my sister came up with the idea of mixing it with cottage cheese for breakfast. I had been eating an egg every morning, along with a tomato. (Don’t knock it – it’s good.) But cottage cheese could take the place of the egg – it’s high in protein and doesn’t have substantially more calories. And it’s good with tomato. Years ago, I remember my mom loved cottage cheese and tomato, spiced with seasoned salt. The golden paste could take the place of the salt. So I tried it, and the cottage cheese has a strong enough flavor to mask the pepper.

Change is hard, but joints that don't ache will be good!

I’ve been eating this concoction for about a week, and things look promising. I don’t want to say much, because the paste is supposed to take several weeks for its effectiveness to be noted. But even though change is hard, this change is palatable.

The moral of this story? Even though we resist change, sometimes the results are worth it. And if this stuff works, even a little, I’ll be that much further toward my goals. Imagine not waking up to aching hips and knees. And if I’m not hurting when I fall into bed at night, a good night’s sleep will be that much easier.