Fran's Fitness Over 50

A goal that’s just right

Sometimes I choose stupid goals. Like cleaning off my desk. That’s stupid because I know it’ll never happen. It just doesn’t matter to me. Or being successful at the Side Plank Star pose. It’s stupid because – why? Another stupid goal was getting an agility championship for my dog. I didn’t take into consideration my dog’s desires. He doesn’t care about agility all that much. Sure, I could train him for it, but if he’s not having fun, then I’m not having fun, and it takes a really long time and a lot of weekends competing in trials for it to happen. But I also chose a goal that’s just right.

Not too hard, not too easy

What’s a goal that’s just right? It’s not too hard, and it’s not too easy. As opposed to an agility championship for my dog – a goal that’s just right is one that is doable. One that I can see a path forward to the end.

As an example. I wanted to write a cozy mystery novel. But my days are pretty full, with dogs and the business. So, when would I be able to write the thousands of words that a novel requires? I spent some time thinking about that, and realized that I woke up about an hour before my alarm most days. And couldn’t go back to sleep. So – lightbulb – I figured I could use that time for writing.

Testing tells

I tested my theory for a few days. I sort of wrote an outline. (I realized that while I don’t ordinarily do outlines, a mystery story required one.) I set a second alarm for 50 minutes before my real one, created a Google doc, tested my Bluetooth keyboard on my phone, and started writing. Once I knew how many words I averaged writing each day, I was able to create a schedule for finishing my first mystery novel.

I created a goal that was just right. I drew up a plan and established a schedule. And now I have two published cozy mystery novels. Working toward a goal feels great. When you put work in toward a goal, you feel unstoppable. No matter what happens, you work through it. When you have an important goal, you’re optimistic, you’re resilient, and you feel healthy and strong. (To help you find a goal that’s just right for you, the Get It Done Blueprint lays it all out step-by-step and has a great worksheet. You can download it today for nothing.)

You can do anything you want to when you have a goal that’s just right.

Enjoy a few minutes of doing nothing

Some days I start out feeling like I’ve been set adrift at sea. Aimless. Just kind of sitting there in my inner tube with my hands and feet dangling in the water. And some days that’s great. If there’s nothing I have to get done, then I can just laze around and do just that – nothing. But other days I have to shake off that feeling and start something.

That feeling of “I should be doing something”

What helps with that? (Because we’ve all got things we have to do most days.) If I’ve got a plan in place, then I can enjoy a few minutes of doing nothing, and then start being productive. If there’s no plan, then doing nothing seems pointless. There’s something missing. I can’t enjoy doing nothing, because I feel that I should be doing something – but I don’t know what that something is.

Doing nothing sets up the day

Those few minutes of doing nothing can be invaluable. They can set me up for an awesome day. I can enjoy being with my dogs or breathing fresh air. My sister and I used to own an RV that we parked in the most fabulous natural setting I can think of – right on the water of the Atlantic Ocean in the Florida Keys. We can work remotely, so I could set up my laptop in the shade, looking right out onto the water and enjoy those few minutes of doing nothing. Until those few minutes became an hour and then, well, I moved inside to work.

My plan for joy

But I only enjoyed those few minutes because I knew exactly what I had to tackle when I booted up the computer. I had a plan. I had a list. My plan for joy. And I knew what had to get done. Now those moments of doing nothing are the ones to savor.

The way I ensure that I can really enjoy those “nothing” moments is to plan the next day in the late afternoon. If I’m working on a big goal, I check my intermediate steps and I take the bit that inches me forward and write it down. So if I’m working on a course, and my goal is to have all the pieces in place by the end of the week, then on Monday I can create the pdf files so they’re ready to distribute. I’ve already written module outlines and documents in my digital cloud account, and created the graphics and worksheets that go with each.

So, on Monday before I start, I can play with my dogs. Or I can enjoy a few minutes of doing nothing. And then I can go gangbusters working toward my goal.

Protect yourself from chaos

The world is swirling. News reports are coming fast and furious from all directions and much of it contradicts other reports. It’s hard to know what’s real, what to believe, where to turn, and what to do. If we try to pay attention to everything, that is a sure path to stress and panic. So, how to protect yourself from chaos? Here are a few things that can help to turn off (or at least tone down) all the noise.

Start your day with intention. That’s not to say list everything you’re going to do that day. Your intent can simply be to have patience. Or be nice. Pay attention to your surroundings.

And it helps that before you start your day, you have a good night’s sleep. Be consistent with your sleep routine. Turn off your screens well before you turn off your light.

After you’ve done all the necessaries in the morning, set one small goal to accomplish that day. It can be to get a step closer to finishing a big goal, or it can be simply to throw out one thing from that overflowing junk drawer. It feels good and it gives a little boost to your optimism and your resilience.

You’ve started your day mindfully, so periodically, take a break and center yourself. Pay attention to your surroundings at that time. Take stock of your emotions and thoughts.

And speaking of thoughts, at least once a day, think about what you’re grateful for. A gratitude journal helps, but I don’t find it necessary. Enjoy the blue sky or interesting cloud formations. Smile at your dog’s antics. It really does boost your healthy aging and happiness.

Exercise. I know, I sound like a broken record (remember them?). But exercise really does help to protect yourself from chaos. When you finish a good workout, I guarantee you’ll feel better about the world than when you started.

And reach out to a friend. Someone who lights you up, one who instantly makes you smile when you hear their voice.

Just some thoughts to protect yourself from chaos. The world is in upheaval, so we have to do what we can.

Functional fitness moves – not just a trend

I don’t want to exercise just for the sake of exercising. Exercise is not my favorite thing to start with, so I’m only going to do it if it makes my life better in other ways. Focusing on functional fitness moves makes sense, then. “Functional fitness exercises train your muscles to help you do everyday activities safely and efficiently,” according to the Mayo Clinic. These exercises combine moves the way we move in everyday life. And, in fact, when we do functional moves, we’re getting at least double the benefit of the exercise. That’s efficiency.

The workouts I do have incorporated funcional moves for years – I never knew it. That’s how a 30-minute functional workout can take the place of a 45-minute one that doesn’t employ functional moves. And, the moves frequently use weights, so we’re getting the strength training we need for our muscle and bone health. The moves involve multiple joints and multiple muscles in the same exercise. Employing functional exercises makes moving around doing everyday activities easier, which improves our quality of life, increases our independence, makes us more optimistic and more resilient.

One functional fitness move is the squat with an overhead press – hold a pair of weights that are challenging for you, bend your arms so the weight is at the same level as your shoulder and have your feet shoulder-width apart. Squat, bending your knees so that they’re behind your toes if you look over them. Stand up and press the weights overhead. Bring the weights back to the starting position and repeat. You’re working most muscles in your body with this one.

Another functional move is the deadlift with row. Stand tall, holding challenging weights, keeping your knees soft. Bend from the hips keeping the weights close to your legs. At your lowest point, bend your elbows and bring the weights up to your waist, keeping your arms close to your sides. Bring the weights back down and stand. Repeat.

You get the idea – with functional fitness moves, you’re performing multiple moves, working more than one part and getting ready for whatever your day brings.

Train yourself to be happy

I check FB regularly throughout the day. I never know when I’ll get inspired (like for this article). Anyway, this showed up in my Facebook feed this morning, posted by an old-time SF curmudgeonly author I follow. The funny thing is, clicker training works. I train my dogs and use the clicker religiously to bridge the time gap between the dog’s correct behavior and the reward. And positive reinforcement is the most effective way to train dogs for lasting behaviors. But for people? Why not? In this case, the girl was training herself with the clicker to be happy when she heard the click. So, why not train yourself to be happy anytime?

Do you remember the TV sitcom The Big Bang Theory? There was an episode that stuck with me in which Sheldon trained his neighbor and roommate’s significant other, Penny, with chocolate to do things he wanted her to do. Positive reinforcement at work. Chocolate would work for me, but I’d have to watch the calories!

It goes back to Pavlov ringing that bell for the dog’s dinner. It got so that when the dog heard the bell, he started to salivate.

Why wouldn’t this work for me? The clicker sound is too loud when I’m working in total quiet, so perhaps I’ll look for a bell tone in the app store. A nice quiet “ding.” When I see something I like, I’ll push the button for the ding. And at some point, just hearing the bell sound will make me happy. And, as we know, happiness promotes resilience and healthy aging. I vote for happy!

I looked up Robert Anton Wilson, the author whose fan group originated the post. He promoted the idea that we question everything. That each of us exists in a “reality tunnel” constructed by our own conditioning, beliefs, and sensory experience. Therefore, if we change our beliefs, we can change our reality.

Following the thread, if we change our beliefs, that we zero in on the sound that clicker or bell makes, we change our existence to happiness. And, therefore, train yourself to be happy anytime.

Tips for focus

I never understood kids who studied with music on. When doing homework for school, I was always distracted by the tunes. I’d want to sing along or get up and dance. I needed silence. But now, I have tinnitus, which is annoying and distracting by itself. And focusing is very difficult for me. I try listening to music, both with and without lyrics, but, again, distracting. And I have tried white noise, pink noise, brown noise, which is better but still distracting. I’ve gotten great tips for focus, which I have shared and will again, and they do help somewhat. But the noise is still a problem – both the kind of noise I try and the lack of noise. I recently learned about a new kind of productivity app that combines sounds which has helped students with ADHD and autism..

Screens down

The first focus tip, and key for those wanting to focus, is to put the screens away. Except, of course, for the screen you’re working on. I write in Google Docs, both on a PC and on my phone. So having that screen open is mandatory. Everything else goes away until I’m done.

Dogs Away

Keeping others quiet. My dogs are annoying. There. I said it. When they’re around, they’re cute and all, but it’s impossible to focus when they want to play. So, when I know I have to spend quality time on a project, I make sure to take them out and get them settled before I start. Same thing with kids or other adults. Give kids treats and plant them with books, coloring material, or another way to keep them occupied for the duration. And let the adults know that you want to concentrate for an hour or so and don’t want to be disturbed.

Clear the work area

Clear the decks. The next tip for focus is to have a clear work area. My desk is constantly messy, so I push things to the side while I do the work that requires attention.

The new productivity app that I referred to actually combines white noise with instrumental music. You play around and figure out what’s best for you. Every brain is different, so it’s customizable. I’ll have to try that and see if it deserves to be added to the list of tips for focus.

It’s easier than ever to be together

It’s commonly held that a risk for older Americans is the feeling of being excluded and isolated. It’s a danger that the National Institutes of Health addressed recently in a study. The study compared this feeling of isolation in seniors compared to younger adults. And it surprisingly found that most older adults actually know when they’re being excuded but respond to the exclusion somewhat more rationally than younger adults.

Older people recognized the exclusion

In fact, more older adults were able to recognize the exclusion but their self-esteem was higher and recognized the exclusion in the study as insignificant. They were able to analyze the moment and move on to what they felt were more important pastimes. Older people also usually have better emotional regulation. We’re better able to control our emotions when things go a little off-kilter.

As older adults, we’re not caught in the school-yard culture of insiders and outsiders. In school, there’s always a clique of popular kids that all the other kids feel compelled to emulate. And there’s always a group of outsiders. We never wanted to be in the outsider group. But as older adults, we’re removed from that clique culture.

We grow our community

This is important in many respects. One of the basic tenets to improve our resilience is to grow our community. When we interact with others, our own sense of self-worth grows, as does our resilience. A danger for many seniors is loneliness and loss of that community. As we found out a few years ago during the pandemic, it’s much easier now to be together and grow our circle, though, and many seniors are doing just that with online groups.

The study found that younger people were more likely to see the exclusion as a negative experience. But older folks took this particular isolation in stride. Perhaps because the study participants had other circles they rely on.

Community is key

Americans are taught to deal with hardship through introspection and careful examination of our thoughts, feelings, and behavior. But Psychiatrist Dr. Suzan Strong, in her new book Why We Suffer and How We Heal, reveals that some cultures deal with hardship and instability through community, which makes it easier to be together.

So, what does this mean for us older Americans? Keep growing our resilience. Keep growing our circles of friends, acquaintances, and those with common interests. Be together with them. We’re doing it right.

Is joy possible

Life is not just about to-do lists. It’s more than hustling from one task to another. Life is made even more stressful with multiple screens yelling at us. One thing we must keep in mind, when asking “Is joy possible?” Joy is where we find it. We can make our own happiness.

Granted, I love my to-do lists. There’s nothing better than being able to cross off a juicy task that took a hefty chunk of time to complete. But that doesn’t always bring joy because I’m too busy with the next job.

And, if you’re like me, when you’re between tasks, or sentences, you’ll pick up your phone and find out what’s going on. More often than not, that causes stress. These days all the news seems to be stressful. All the social media applications are so jam-packed full of AI images that it’s hard to tell what’s real. (Why do folks make up stuff about celebrities and generate images that fit their fake stories? It’s annoying, isn’t it?)

The best thing for me, when all of that gets overwhelming, is to turn off the phone or the TV. Take the dogs for a little walk. Enjoy a bit of nature. Tracy Brower, a sociologist and author, says that’s one way to infuse your life with a dose of micro joy.

It’s these little moments you create that bring happiness into your life every day. From the short walks around the block breathing fresh air, to the little dance parties you have with yourself to celebrate crossing something off that list, these are moments of micro joy.

Brower says that when you answer in the negative to the question “Is joy possible?” you’re not giving yourself enough credit. Create your own joy in the power you have over your actions and reactions. You control how you react to others’ actions. Panic and distress is one reaction, but measured breath and thought may be a better route. There are few situations that require an immediate response. Take advantage of the moment of silence and think about the possibilities. Even if you can’t control the situation, you can control your thinking.

That moment of silence can bring clarity and a more positive response. And if the situation becomes more common, you can figure out a way to turn it to your advantage. Create habits that serve you better. Grow your resilience and your mental strength. Consider them muscles that demand more flexing.

Is joy possible? Of course it is. Create your own moments of joy.

Small steps to great joy

When I don’t feel like running on my treadmill days, I walk instead. So that I don’t feel guilty about taking it easy, I push the incline to the maximum, 10 percent. At 4 miles per hour, it’s still a great workout. But I’ve been doing that for a while, so I’m thinking that I should push something else a little more. So, my goal will be 4.5 mph. Still walking, but more intense. Am I crazy? Maybe. We’ll see. But I can’t do that all at once. I’ve started to push the speed just a bit. And I’m feeling happy about it. Small steps to great joy.

I listened to a webinar from a fitness guru who I’ve been following for a lot of years last week. She’s going through perimenopause and not having an easy time. But she finally came to the revelation that she doesn’t have to kill herself during her workouts for them to be even more effective. The key is progressive overload for strength training and longer-duration moderate aerobic exercise. This resonated with me because, as I’ve gotten older, while I can still do the high-impact moves and the insane step routines, I don’t enjoy them as much as I used to. The old knees remind me that I really am old. So I feel more justified in slowing my pace.

I can still create goals to grow my fitness – I’ll never stop, no matter how old I am. Being fit, and creating goals to grow my fitness, will certainly promote my healthy aging. But it will also create a positive mindset and increase my resilience. I know that I’ll be able to be independent. And that I’ll be able to do the things I want to do. That 4.5 mph workout speed is out of reach right now. But I’ll grow the goal incrementally. Perhaps lower the incline for the higher speed for a while. Perhaps go faster for a shorter period of time while I’m working up to the full duration of my workout. These are some of the possible milestones to work toward on the way to a bigger goal.

And I’ll continue to check in with myself as part of the goal to make sure it’s really something that will bring me joy and enhance my well-being. Doing a periodic brief sanity check is always a good idea. If working toward a goal is not making you happy, and if the achievement of that goal won’t cause you to pump your fist and say, “Yes! I did it!” then you need to find a new goal.

The achievement, even the anticipation of the achievement, of a big goal should bring you great joy. Every big goal should be broken down into manageable chunks. And those small steps should also bring you great joy.

You’re doing okay

You’re doing okay. You just don’t realize it.

Did you get everything done last week?

Take a minute. Think about the stuff you did last week. Was it all that you wanted to do? If you’re like most people, probably not. But it was a lot. And I’m sure that a lot of that was amazing. You’re doing okay. You’re probably doing more than okay. But you’re not giving yourself the credit that you deserve. Now’s the time to change that.

My to-do list is long. And getting longer. I’ve got plans. Books, courses, videos. Even cleaning up my desk. (Which probably won’t happen.) Some stuff got scratched off last week. You probably drew a big check mark next to stuff on your list last week as well. But did you take a minute and appreciate yourself? I’m thinking no. If you were able to take one thing off that never-ending list, good for you! You’re doing okay.

Take a breath when you check something off

Checking something off on your list deserves a moment. Maybe more than a moment. Today, when the news is blaring at you 24-7 from multiple screens, it’s hard to hold yourself together, much less focus on any task that needs to get done. You’re trying to focus on your healthy aging. Your motivation takes a nose-dive when bad news is continually coming at you.

And when we do actually finish something, when we should give ourselves a moment, it’s usually just on to the next thing. Author Anna Codrea-Rado calls this “productivity dysmorphia.” When you feel like you haven’t done enough despite working relentlessly but still fruitfully. Like getting in a really good workout, but then just showering and moving on to the next task. I’m guilty of it, and I’ll bet you are too.

Now’s the time to get out your Amazing Box

A while ago, I promoted the idea of the Amazing Box – write down something you did that you feel good about, and put that slip of paper in a box. Well, it’s time to reintroduce the concept. Keep on adding to the box. But then, at the same time you add something to your Amazing Box, dig deep in there and pull out a slip of paper, read it, and feel good about the things that you did a while ago. You’re doing okay. Now is the time to realize it.