resilience Archives - Fran's Fitness Over 50

Do it for your future self

This is for whatever it is you don’t want to do today. Don’t want to exercise? You don’t want to eat nutritious food? Or you don’t want to work on that project you’ve been putting off? I get it. Some days it’s all too tempting to stay under the covers, eat chocolate and chips and binge Emily in Paris or whatever show you’re into. But think about how you’ll feel tomorrow. And all the tomorrows after that if you don’t show up for yourself. It’s easier to not do the things. But those things will stay the way they are. You’re not going to get the benefits from exercise. Your body will not get the vitamins and minerals from the healthy food. And you’ll still have that project hanging over your head. Do it for your future self.

How your future self will feel

Think about how you want to feel in the future. For me, I want to feel no pain, or at least less pain. Also, to be able to stand tall and not hunched or with rounded shoulders will be good. I’d like my legs to be able to hold me up, and my core to be strong and stable to share the load. I want to breathe freely and not get winded when I walk. Does this sound good to you? For our healthy aging, this doesn’t seem to be an outrageous goal.

The food we eat is reflected on the outside

What goes into our bodies should be good for the outside as well. The food we consume has an affect on our bodies – inside and out. Our skin reflects the good nutrition that goes in. We feel better when we eat nutritious food. Of course, I’m not going to say no to a piece of good chocolate, but on the whole I try to maintain a healthy diet.

Working toward a goal keeps us resilient

When we work toward a goal, even just for a little bit every day, we’re being optimistic for the future. We’re happy when we have an objective. And creating achievable goals keeps us focused on that future. We want something to have happened to make a better future for ourselves. That’s what goal-making is about. And if you’ve set goals in the past but not achieved them, then download the Get It Done G u ide. It’ll help. Seriously.

So keep on working toward goals. Exercise regularly. And eat good food. It will show in your future self.

Get uncomfortable to get motivated

Discomfort is only uncomfortable until it becomes comfortable. Get uncomfortable.

Get uncomfortable to achieve your goals

And that’s another way of saying that you should get uncomfortable so that you can achieve your goals. Discomfort happens when you reach for something that’s beyond your grasp now. Like running. When you start running, even after warming up with some stretches and walking, it feels odd and uncomfortable. But when you keep on doing it, even during the same session, running becomes more comfortable. You get used to the motion. The first few times the motion may not seem completely natural (for me, it’s still not natural), but it’s not as uncomfortable any longer.

Embrace discomfort to grow

Some athletes embrace the pain they feel when training, so that they can move past it and improve. I don’t relish pain of any sort. The most I want to feel in my workout is discomfort, and even that is a stretch. But the idea is the same. In order to grow in any endeavor, many feel that it’s necessary to challenge yourself. The challenge can then lead to increased motivation to succeed. In fact, Stanford professor Carol Dweck in her book Mindset: The New Psychology of Success, reveals that students with a growth mindset, that is the belief that they can grow and develop, outperformed their peers with a fixed mindset.

Challenge yourself and succeed

It’s not just in learning more that we succeed by challenging ourselves. In the running example, we can grow – that is, run faster and longer – by pushing ourselves a little more each time we run. That is, get uncomfortable a little more. At the end of a few sessions, that little push becomes more comfortable, almost natural, and then we can push even more. Challenge ourselves a little more. This starts with a single push of the up button. When I’m at the maximum speed I did last time and it doesn’t feel too bad, I just push the increase speed button one time. Increase my speed by just one tenth of a mile per hour. Not too bad. Not even too noticeable, in fact. And I don’t sustain that for long – just a minute, maybe less.

I’ll keep the same maximum speed for a few days until the increase is indiscernible. And then I’ll do it again. It does help to journal my workout – my average speed, maximum speed, how it felt, when I feel I can push it again. If you just want the bare bones of a workout tracker, download the Basic Workout Tracker today. If you want more, check out the Fitness Journal and Tracker which has pages for nutrition and, my favorite, goal planning and tracking!

Challenge yourself more to achieve more

So, get uncomfortable. And soon the concept of pushing beyond boundaries becomes the norm. Then you can push more. Challenge yourself more. You’ll be amazed at what you can achieve. It doesn’t happen overnight. But it will happen. You’ll become more resilient. When things in your life go sideways, you’ll think, I’ve achieved so much, I can push through this. And your resilience will make you more optimistic and ultimately happier, which means good things for your healthy aging.

Get uncomfortable. And you’ll go far.

Making plans is for the strong

It occurred to me the other day as I was planning out a series of posts that the future was going to happen. It takes a certain kind of strength to plan for the future. Strength of will, and strength of being. You trust that some things will happen, and other things might. That requires a great deal of resilience – trusting that you’ll get through whatever life throws at you. Making plans is for the strong.

It’s not necessarily about strength training

I’m not talking about increasing your poundage for strength training when you exercise, although that’s a worthwhile goal as well. The fact that we plan at all means that we are optimistic that we’ll have a future. That we’ll be capable of performing the tasks in that plan. And we’ll actually want to see that plan to its completion.

Planning is resilience

That’s resilience at its core. Making plans and following through on them also requires strength of will. For example, say you want to move to a bigger house in eight months. That’s your goal. What’s needed for that to happen? And here’s where your planning skills take over. You’ll need to put aside a sufficient down payment. The house you’re living in must be sold, unless you’re renting. So any repairs and upgrades need to get done, unless you go sell your house as-is. And you need to find your new house. You’ll put intermediate steps and dates on all that, and put your plan into motion.

That’s a big plan. You think you’re not strong? The fact that you know that you can accomplish all of that means that you know you’re capable, you have the resources to figure things out when they go a little sideways and still come out on top.

Making plans is for the strong. You make plans so you’re optimistic for the future and you’ll be healthier going forward. Your resilience makes it possible for you to smile through adversity, essential for your healthy aging.

How to Not Stagnate

I love to read. No surprise there, right? I was a bookworm growing up (in fact my favorite bookmark is a pink plastic worm that clips over the page!). If you needed me, just look in my room and I’d be reading a book. And now, there’s nothing I love more than setting aside a few minutes (okay, an hour) and delving into the current book on my nightstand. And that’s fine – to take a little while for your favorite hobby for a break. It’s sure tempting to read good books all day long, but that’s not how you get things done. That’s not growing, it’s standing still. Here’s how to not stagnate.

Ground your emotions every day

When you want to be your most productive self, the last thing you want is for your thougths to wander in a million directions. It’s easy for that to happen, with today’s focus on screens and newsfeeds. But to be productive and not stagnate, you need a clear mind in order to focus. My mind has a tendency to wander, so I just close my eyes and pull my thoughts in. I focus on a single thought. I take time when I get up in the morning to wash, take the dogs out, and give all of us breakfast before I turn on a single screen or check any email account. And, yes, I do read a few pages in my book at breakfast.

Daily discipline

Clinical psychologist Tricia Wolanin, PsyD, agrees that a daily discipline can help you focus for the rest of the day. She also recommends starting your day with intention, asking how you want to feel and what you want to accomplish that day. Setting that intention will also keep you going – and growing.

Set one small goal for the day

When I get to work, I make my list for the day, and at the top is one small thing I want to get done today, like check for orders on the site, or file the invoices from last week. I focus on that one thing, do it and feel accomplished. Then I’m ready to tackle some more meaty tasks. I recently wrote that we should write what we want to do. I take something from that list, and the steps that I think I can accomplish today, and write that on today’s list. And that keeps you going, and growing, and also helps you to not stagnate. Just because we’re getting older does not mean that we should cultivate moss on us. We’re growing, we’re resilient, and we’re all in for our healthy aging, too.

Start planning your future

If you’re at the point in your life where you’ve retired from work and you don’t feel like seeking other work, you may be feeling at a loss and you’re searching for direction in your life. You’re asking yourself, “Now what?” We all need direction and focus in our lives. I know of too many people whose work was their life. They looked forward to retirement but then did not have anything planned for afterward. Then, without a reason to make an effort every day, shortly after retirement, they passed away. In fact, there have been studies that show that people (especially men) who were more tied to their work tended to die sooner after retirement. That struck me as so sad. I don’t want that happening to anyone else. So, if you haven’t thought about a future past a specific date, it may be time to start planning your future.

Leave a legacy

If you have children and grandchildren, you may want to leave them a legacy of some ways that you’ve changed your corner of the world. Perhaps you’ll leave a legacy of service to your community – if you do volunteer work with some charities in your area. Or if you’ve done some interesting things in your past, you’ll write a book.

Create goals for your future

You know I’m big on achieving goals, right? I’ve written about how to create goals for ourselves, and then how to make sure we achieve them. The same goes for any plans you make for your future. Now, the thing is, your time is probably not as limited as it once was. If you want to write that book, create that goal! If you want to volunteer for the organizations that you care about now, set that goal for yourself. Start planning your future. Me? I chose to create businesses and work at them. But in the meantime, I have written a couple of books and taught some classes. How?

I wrote a book

When I had the idea to write a mystery novel, using the framework in the Fitness Over 50 Get It Done Guide, I set my timetable. A cozy mystery novel should be 50,000 words or more, so I set the goal of 500 – 1,000 words a day. I’m a quick typist, so I knew this was doable. I knew that I didn’t have time during the day to write, so after thinking about it, I decided to use my early awake time (when I’d been playing Spider Solitaire) more productively. Instead of waking up naturally, about an hour before my real alarm, I set a second alarm. I set up my lap desk and Bluetooth keyboard and opened a blank Google Doc. First thing – a story idea and outline. Next, characters. Then, I started writing. I set a goal to write the novel in three months. Completely doable. And the first novel is available now.

Volunteer!

If your days are more free, then go ahead and write your memoir. Volunteer. How to volunteer? First – think of the things that you’re passionate about. Then, do some research on organizations in your area. Next, give them a call or email. Most non-profit organizations love people who want to donate their time. Write your ideas down and follow up. Be sure to actually write things down so that you don’t forget. Setting your thoughts down with pen on paper reinforces the memory.

If you want to travel, make sure that you’re in shape to do all the walking that you want to do. Make fitness goals a priority. You’ll also be working on your healthy aging and your resilience. You’ll be more confident and ready to take on the world (so to speak).

Most important – start planning your future now. You’ll find happiness in fulfilling your dreams. You’ll have a sense of purpose and won’t dread the long days after retirement.

How do elite athletes get motivated?

I’ve been watching the Olympics the last few days. It’s riveting. The level of competition is insane. I admire the talent, the intensity, the difficulty of the moves. I’ve always been an Olympics fan. Winter, Summer, it doesn’t matter. The sport doesn’t matter either. I love watching swimming, diving, track – it doesn’t matter. Men’s sports, women’s. Again, it doesn’t matter to me. Do you have a favorite Olympic sport?

These athletes are the best of the best in their sport. What makes them the best? What sets them apart from other athletes? Sure, innate talent probably has a lot to do with it. Someone who has no sense of rhythm is probably not going to be successful in rhythmic gymnastics, for example. But aside from talent, what makes these athletes so good? Their motivation. These athletes are driven to train, improve and succeed even in their off-seasons. So, how do elite athletes get motivated?

How do elite athletes get motivated?

WebMD asked 7 Olympic athletes what keeps them going. For Caeleb Dressel, swimmer, it’s the desire to get better. That’s the internal motivation that you would expect elite athletes to feel. The desire within to excel. And that’s important for us, too, in whatever we do. When we set goals for ourselves, we have to really want to achieve that goal. Otherwise, why bother? When the challenge that’s part of any endeavor gets hard, if we don’t want the end result, it’s easy to quit.

Accountability

Beach volleyball players Kristen Nuss and Taryn Kloth don’t want to let her partner down. Knowing that another person is counting on you help these elite athletes get motivated. Kloth said, knowing someone else is counting on you “makes it way easier to get through the tough times. This allows my focus to switch to her and not the tough task.”

Grow, for less discomfort

Because it is tough. Fencer Nick Itkin welcomes the pain. Personally, I don’t enjoy it, but Itkin uses it as a motivator. Put another way, the pain motivates him to get better so it doesn’t hurt any more. It goes back to the adage, “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.” Psychologist Ayelet Fishbach of the University of Chicago says, “because discomfort is usually experienced immediately and is easy to detect, it’s an immediate signal of growth that increases motivation.”

The fun keeps you going

Gymnast Frederick Richard likes to mix things up. He’s a believer in having fun when you train. And that’s something that I take to heart.

So, the methods that these elite athletes use to get motivated are the same that we’ve been using all along.

How to go from “I should” to “I did it”

Do you ever find yourself sitting and thinking to yourself, “I should do …” this or this … and then find yourself dreaming, “If I had this done, then I could …” “If I had exercised more when I was younger, I could play in the backyard with the grandkids.” Guess what? It’s not too late. Here’s how to go from “I should” to “I did it.”

First, be clear to yourself

Know exactly what you “should” do. It’s not enough to say, “I should work out more.” A more clear response is, “I should exercise 4 times a week for 30 minutes.” And a better response would be, “I will run / walk 2 times a week, do strength training twice a week and have active rest days 2 days a week.” That’s a clear response. It gives you the start of a plan.

Know why you “should” do it

This step will ensure that you take the steps needed to go from “I should” to “I did it.” If you really want something – if you really, really want something, then you’ll be willing to go through the planning process, make some sacrifices, and then make it happen. Your motivation must be very clear. And, in our example, those grandkids are growing up way too fast to let any more time slip away.

You’ll start your fitness plan to spend more time with your grandkids. And then add things on. Travel might be an option since your mobility will be better. A new wardrobe isn’t out of the question either, since your clothes won’t fit any longer.

Plus, all those benefits for our healthy aging that we’ve been talking about, that exercise gives us. You’ll have more energy – I know, weird, isn’t it that expending energy generates energy? But it’s true. Your heart health will improve. You’ll sleep better and your memory will be better too. Solving problems will be easier as your cognition improves. Your balance will be better, so you’ll be more confident when you step out of the house.

Schedule your stepping stones

You can’t go from not exercising to full hour-long (or even half hour) workouts in a week. The best way to make sure you follow through and not quit from the overwhelm is to map out your strategy. Write it down. Go from 10 minutes to 30 over time – but schedule those longer sessions specifically on your calendar.

Keep your appointments to go from “I should” to “I did it.”

And keep those appointments with yourself! When you do, your resilience improves. You’ll prove to yourself that you’re strong and can accomplish anything. You’ll have gone from “I should” to “I did it.”

5 tips for consistent workouts

It’s on everyone’s to-do list, but really shouldn’t need to be. You know that the only way exercise is effective is if it’s consistent. And it’s really important for us, as seniors especially, for our workouts to be consistent. We know that exercise gives us a healthier heart and lungs, it strengthens our brittle bones, and it improves our memory and cognition. But it’s hard to lace up those sneakers a few times a week. Every week. It’s essential for our healthy aging. The motivation is lacking to exercise on our own. I’m busy and so are you. We’ve got stuff to do. But exercise is important, too. So how can we make sure our workouts are consistent?

This isn’t one of the official “tips,” but first set yourself a fitness goal. If you see progress toward a goal, you start off motivated! For suggestions on setting goals, just download the Get It Done Guide. Easy peasy. Moving on, here are 5 tips for consistent workouts.

Find an exercise program you enjoy

I’ve said it before – if you don’t like an exercise program, then you’re not going to do it. You’ll make excuses and find other things you “need to” do first. I’ll be the first one to say that I run twice a week even though I don’t enjoy it. But I do enjoy the audiobooks I listen to as I run. So, find an exercise program you can live with, and something to help you like it. And be sure that your exercise program has enough variety so you won’t get bored or overwork any particular muscle group.

Schedule your workouts

Now that you’ve found an exercise program that you don’t mind too much, put your workouts on your calendar. And set a reminder for them, plus extra time for changing into your exercise clothes before and a shower after your workout. Google Calendar is versatile and easy to use.

Track your workouts

Write down what you did and how you felt – both before, during and after your workout. You’ll see your progress and that will motivate you to do more. If you’re running on a treadmill, you’ve got the statistics there so copy them down. Your log can be in a journal or just a piece of paper. I recommend actually writing this down so you have something tangible. Follow this link for the Fitness Journal and Tracker.

Find accountability

Exercise with a friend. There’s built-in accountability when there’s someone with you. Cal or messagel a friend after every workout. Commiserate with that friend over how tough the workout was. Accountability keeps us honest. It keeps us coming back even when the workout was brutal.

Don’t overwork

Yes, we want our workouts to be challenging. Because if they’re not then we’re not improving. And that should be everyone’s goal – to improve. But be careful not to overtrain. Know your body. Be aware when something doesn’t feel right. If you’re breathing too hard, slow down. If something hurts, stop.

With these tips, you’ll be motivated to exercise consistently and you’ll also be on your way to making exercise an unbreakable habit.

Get it done even with distractions

We’ve all got stuff that has to get done. And we’ve got stuff we want to get done. There are other things that it would be nice to get done. But what if there are dogs running around? Kids underfoot? You have to stir the soup or it will burn. And the phone keeps ringing. Here are 5 tips on how to get it done even with distractions.

Eliminate the distractions you can

Turn off your phone. Put it in another room. You’ve probably heard this before. But you need your phone! Yes, you need it, but you don’t need it all day every day. For the time it takes you to get the non-negotiable thing from your list done, turn it off. 20 minutes, okay?

Identify your non-negotiable thing that needs to get done

Make a list – on paper – of 3 things that need to get done today. One is absolutely non-negotiable. It has to get done today. The other 2 should be slightly less imperative. And carry this list with you. Put it in your back pocket and refer to it often. If you don’t know where to start with this exercise, download the “Get It Done” Guide and work through the list.

How will you benefit from getting these things done?

Why do you need to get those 3 things done? Will you benefit personally? Will they make your life simpler? If it’s grocery shopping, it’ll sure make getting dinner on the table easier! Or will they enrich you financially? If one of the items is a project for your work or your business, that’s a firm “Yes!” Or will one of the items make the life of a loved one better?

Ignore the distraction or deal with it

About that distraction: if it’s a call you have to take OR ELSE!, then by all means answer your phone. If it’s a friend who you need to talk to but it will wait, then message the friend and ask if you can call back later. A true friend will understand, because there are probably times when they have to get things done.

Close the door

Close the door. Or put the dogs in their crates with peanut butter-filled kongs and tell the kids you need 20 minutes of quiet time. Set your timer. You’ll be able to get it done even with distractions. Your mental toughness will carry you through this. Your resilience is improving, and you’ll face the rest of your day knowing that you accomplished something.

Be Like a Scout and Be Prepared

No procrastination, for a change!

I’m writing this article on Tuesday, and (hopefully) it will be posted on Friday. Wait – what happened to procrastination? Doesn’t everyone write to deadline? Well, I don’t usually like to work that way, and especially this week. There’s supposed to be a line of severe thunderstorms passing through my area tonight. When we get those narrow lines of storms, there’s a good chance of damage. A few years ago when one of those straight line storms passed through we were without power for days. So, in case the worst comes to pass, I’ll be like a scout and “be prepared.”

Be like a scout and be prepared

Robert Baden-Powell, the founder of the Boy Scouts about a hundred years ago, said “that all Scouts should prepare themselves to become productive citizens and to give happiness to other people. He wanted each Scout to be ready in mind and body for any struggles, and to meet with a strong heart whatever challenges might lie ahead.” To be prepared for life and live happily and without regret, knowing that you have done your best. That’s what the Scout motto means.

I can’t do anything about the storms. But I can be proactive and try to think of things I can do ahead of time to get ready in case, for example, the power goes out. Like, write this article. I’ll make sure my phone is charged and have a paperback book ready to be read. We always make sure that there’s plenty of food and water available.

Meditation for calming

I’ll probably do a guided meditation this afternoon to try and calm my nerves. Storms make me anxious, because of all the “what ifs.” And while I try to be as prepared as possible, I know that there’s probably something that I will miss.

What can you do to get ready?

You know that life throws a bunch of crap at you every single day. Some storms are worse than others. How can we stay strong and resilient, and be like a scout and stay ready for those disruptive storms?

The steps to prepare

First, know yourself. If you’re generally a nervous person like I am, then take some extra time every day to center yourself. Know that you’re strong, you’re reliable, your family and friends are there for you.

Then try to think of the projects you’ve got going. What could happen if they were disrupted? If there’s something you can do with those projects to prepare, do it. Or if your action could take multiple days, plan out your strategy.

My to-do lists are on paper. They’re always with me and staring me in the face, unlike the black screen when my phone’s not on.

So, when storms approach, be like a scout and be prepared.