General Health Archives - Fran's Fitness Over 50

Enjoy a few minutes of doing nothing

Some days I start out feeling like I’ve been set adrift at sea. Aimless. Just kind of sitting there in my inner tube with my hands and feet dangling in the water. And some days that’s great. If there’s nothing I have to get done, then I can just laze around and do just that – nothing. But other days I have to shake off that feeling and start something.

That feeling of “I should be doing something”

What helps with that? (Because we’ve all got things we have to do most days.) If I’ve got a plan in place, then I can enjoy a few minutes of doing nothing, and then start being productive. If there’s no plan, then doing nothing seems pointless. There’s something missing. I can’t enjoy doing nothing, because I feel that I should be doing something – but I don’t know what that something is.

Doing nothing sets up the day

Those few minutes of doing nothing can be invaluable. They can set me up for an awesome day. I can enjoy being with my dogs or breathing fresh air. My sister and I used to own an RV that we parked in the most fabulous natural setting I can think of – right on the water of the Atlantic Ocean in the Florida Keys. We can work remotely, so I could set up my laptop in the shade, looking right out onto the water and enjoy those few minutes of doing nothing. Until those few minutes became an hour and then, well, I moved inside to work.

My plan for joy

But I only enjoyed those few minutes because I knew exactly what I had to tackle when I booted up the computer. I had a plan. I had a list. My plan for joy. And I knew what had to get done. Now those moments of doing nothing are the ones to savor.

The way I ensure that I can really enjoy those “nothing” moments is to plan the next day in the late afternoon. If I’m working on a big goal, I check my intermediate steps and I take the bit that inches me forward and write it down. So if I’m working on a course, and my goal is to have all the pieces in place by the end of the week, then on Monday I can create the pdf files so they’re ready to distribute. I’ve already written module outlines and documents in my digital cloud account, and created the graphics and worksheets that go with each.

So, on Monday before I start, I can play with my dogs. Or I can enjoy a few minutes of doing nothing. And then I can go gangbusters working toward my goal.

Protect yourself from chaos

The world is swirling. News reports are coming fast and furious from all directions and much of it contradicts other reports. It’s hard to know what’s real, what to believe, where to turn, and what to do. If we try to pay attention to everything, that is a sure path to stress and panic. So, how to protect yourself from chaos? Here are a few things that can help to turn off (or at least tone down) all the noise.

Start your day with intention. That’s not to say list everything you’re going to do that day. Your intent can simply be to have patience. Or be nice. Pay attention to your surroundings.

And it helps that before you start your day, you have a good night’s sleep. Be consistent with your sleep routine. Turn off your screens well before you turn off your light.

After you’ve done all the necessaries in the morning, set one small goal to accomplish that day. It can be to get a step closer to finishing a big goal, or it can be simply to throw out one thing from that overflowing junk drawer. It feels good and it gives a little boost to your optimism and your resilience.

You’ve started your day mindfully, so periodically, take a break and center yourself. Pay attention to your surroundings at that time. Take stock of your emotions and thoughts.

And speaking of thoughts, at least once a day, think about what you’re grateful for. A gratitude journal helps, but I don’t find it necessary. Enjoy the blue sky or interesting cloud formations. Smile at your dog’s antics. It really does boost your healthy aging and happiness.

Exercise. I know, I sound like a broken record (remember them?). But exercise really does help to protect yourself from chaos. When you finish a good workout, I guarantee you’ll feel better about the world than when you started.

And reach out to a friend. Someone who lights you up, one who instantly makes you smile when you hear their voice.

Just some thoughts to protect yourself from chaos. The world is in upheaval, so we have to do what we can.

Train yourself to be happy

I check FB regularly throughout the day. I never know when I’ll get inspired (like for this article). Anyway, this showed up in my Facebook feed this morning, posted by an old-time SF curmudgeonly author I follow. The funny thing is, clicker training works. I train my dogs and use the clicker religiously to bridge the time gap between the dog’s correct behavior and the reward. And positive reinforcement is the most effective way to train dogs for lasting behaviors. But for people? Why not? In this case, the girl was training herself with the clicker to be happy when she heard the click. So, why not train yourself to be happy anytime?

Do you remember the TV sitcom The Big Bang Theory? There was an episode that stuck with me in which Sheldon trained his neighbor and roommate’s significant other, Penny, with chocolate to do things he wanted her to do. Positive reinforcement at work. Chocolate would work for me, but I’d have to watch the calories!

It goes back to Pavlov ringing that bell for the dog’s dinner. It got so that when the dog heard the bell, he started to salivate.

Why wouldn’t this work for me? The clicker sound is too loud when I’m working in total quiet, so perhaps I’ll look for a bell tone in the app store. A nice quiet “ding.” When I see something I like, I’ll push the button for the ding. And at some point, just hearing the bell sound will make me happy. And, as we know, happiness promotes resilience and healthy aging. I vote for happy!

I looked up Robert Anton Wilson, the author whose fan group originated the post. He promoted the idea that we question everything. That each of us exists in a “reality tunnel” constructed by our own conditioning, beliefs, and sensory experience. Therefore, if we change our beliefs, we can change our reality.

Following the thread, if we change our beliefs, that we zero in on the sound that clicker or bell makes, we change our existence to happiness. And, therefore, train yourself to be happy anytime.

It’s easier than ever to be together

It’s commonly held that a risk for older Americans is the feeling of being excluded and isolated. It’s a danger that the National Institutes of Health addressed recently in a study. The study compared this feeling of isolation in seniors compared to younger adults. And it surprisingly found that most older adults actually know when they’re being excuded but respond to the exclusion somewhat more rationally than younger adults.

Older people recognized the exclusion

In fact, more older adults were able to recognize the exclusion but their self-esteem was higher and recognized the exclusion in the study as insignificant. They were able to analyze the moment and move on to what they felt were more important pastimes. Older people also usually have better emotional regulation. We’re better able to control our emotions when things go a little off-kilter.

As older adults, we’re not caught in the school-yard culture of insiders and outsiders. In school, there’s always a clique of popular kids that all the other kids feel compelled to emulate. And there’s always a group of outsiders. We never wanted to be in the outsider group. But as older adults, we’re removed from that clique culture.

We grow our community

This is important in many respects. One of the basic tenets to improve our resilience is to grow our community. When we interact with others, our own sense of self-worth grows, as does our resilience. A danger for many seniors is loneliness and loss of that community. As we found out a few years ago during the pandemic, it’s much easier now to be together and grow our circle, though, and many seniors are doing just that with online groups.

The study found that younger people were more likely to see the exclusion as a negative experience. But older folks took this particular isolation in stride. Perhaps because the study participants had other circles they rely on.

Community is key

Americans are taught to deal with hardship through introspection and careful examination of our thoughts, feelings, and behavior. But Psychiatrist Dr. Suzan Strong, in her new book Why We Suffer and How We Heal, reveals that some cultures deal with hardship and instability through community, which makes it easier to be together.

So, what does this mean for us older Americans? Keep growing our resilience. Keep growing our circles of friends, acquaintances, and those with common interests. Be together with them. We’re doing it right.

Is joy possible

Life is not just about to-do lists. It’s more than hustling from one task to another. Life is made even more stressful with multiple screens yelling at us. One thing we must keep in mind, when asking “Is joy possible?” Joy is where we find it. We can make our own happiness.

Granted, I love my to-do lists. There’s nothing better than being able to cross off a juicy task that took a hefty chunk of time to complete. But that doesn’t always bring joy because I’m too busy with the next job.

And, if you’re like me, when you’re between tasks, or sentences, you’ll pick up your phone and find out what’s going on. More often than not, that causes stress. These days all the news seems to be stressful. All the social media applications are so jam-packed full of AI images that it’s hard to tell what’s real. (Why do folks make up stuff about celebrities and generate images that fit their fake stories? It’s annoying, isn’t it?)

The best thing for me, when all of that gets overwhelming, is to turn off the phone or the TV. Take the dogs for a little walk. Enjoy a bit of nature. Tracy Brower, a sociologist and author, says that’s one way to infuse your life with a dose of micro joy.

It’s these little moments you create that bring happiness into your life every day. From the short walks around the block breathing fresh air, to the little dance parties you have with yourself to celebrate crossing something off that list, these are moments of micro joy.

Brower says that when you answer in the negative to the question “Is joy possible?” you’re not giving yourself enough credit. Create your own joy in the power you have over your actions and reactions. You control how you react to others’ actions. Panic and distress is one reaction, but measured breath and thought may be a better route. There are few situations that require an immediate response. Take advantage of the moment of silence and think about the possibilities. Even if you can’t control the situation, you can control your thinking.

That moment of silence can bring clarity and a more positive response. And if the situation becomes more common, you can figure out a way to turn it to your advantage. Create habits that serve you better. Grow your resilience and your mental strength. Consider them muscles that demand more flexing.

Is joy possible? Of course it is. Create your own moments of joy.

Small steps to great joy

When I don’t feel like running on my treadmill days, I walk instead. So that I don’t feel guilty about taking it easy, I push the incline to the maximum, 10 percent. At 4 miles per hour, it’s still a great workout. But I’ve been doing that for a while, so I’m thinking that I should push something else a little more. So, my goal will be 4.5 mph. Still walking, but more intense. Am I crazy? Maybe. We’ll see. But I can’t do that all at once. I’ve started to push the speed just a bit. And I’m feeling happy about it. Small steps to great joy.

I listened to a webinar from a fitness guru who I’ve been following for a lot of years last week. She’s going through perimenopause and not having an easy time. But she finally came to the revelation that she doesn’t have to kill herself during her workouts for them to be even more effective. The key is progressive overload for strength training and longer-duration moderate aerobic exercise. This resonated with me because, as I’ve gotten older, while I can still do the high-impact moves and the insane step routines, I don’t enjoy them as much as I used to. The old knees remind me that I really am old. So I feel more justified in slowing my pace.

I can still create goals to grow my fitness – I’ll never stop, no matter how old I am. Being fit, and creating goals to grow my fitness, will certainly promote my healthy aging. But it will also create a positive mindset and increase my resilience. I know that I’ll be able to be independent. And that I’ll be able to do the things I want to do. That 4.5 mph workout speed is out of reach right now. But I’ll grow the goal incrementally. Perhaps lower the incline for the higher speed for a while. Perhaps go faster for a shorter period of time while I’m working up to the full duration of my workout. These are some of the possible milestones to work toward on the way to a bigger goal.

And I’ll continue to check in with myself as part of the goal to make sure it’s really something that will bring me joy and enhance my well-being. Doing a periodic brief sanity check is always a good idea. If working toward a goal is not making you happy, and if the achievement of that goal won’t cause you to pump your fist and say, “Yes! I did it!” then you need to find a new goal.

The achievement, even the anticipation of the achievement, of a big goal should bring you great joy. Every big goal should be broken down into manageable chunks. And those small steps should also bring you great joy.

You’re doing okay

You’re doing okay. You just don’t realize it.

Did you get everything done last week?

Take a minute. Think about the stuff you did last week. Was it all that you wanted to do? If you’re like most people, probably not. But it was a lot. And I’m sure that a lot of that was amazing. You’re doing okay. You’re probably doing more than okay. But you’re not giving yourself the credit that you deserve. Now’s the time to change that.

My to-do list is long. And getting longer. I’ve got plans. Books, courses, videos. Even cleaning up my desk. (Which probably won’t happen.) Some stuff got scratched off last week. You probably drew a big check mark next to stuff on your list last week as well. But did you take a minute and appreciate yourself? I’m thinking no. If you were able to take one thing off that never-ending list, good for you! You’re doing okay.

Take a breath when you check something off

Checking something off on your list deserves a moment. Maybe more than a moment. Today, when the news is blaring at you 24-7 from multiple screens, it’s hard to hold yourself together, much less focus on any task that needs to get done. You’re trying to focus on your healthy aging. Your motivation takes a nose-dive when bad news is continually coming at you.

And when we do actually finish something, when we should give ourselves a moment, it’s usually just on to the next thing. Author Anna Codrea-Rado calls this “productivity dysmorphia.” When you feel like you haven’t done enough despite working relentlessly but still fruitfully. Like getting in a really good workout, but then just showering and moving on to the next task. I’m guilty of it, and I’ll bet you are too.

Now’s the time to get out your Amazing Box

A while ago, I promoted the idea of the Amazing Box – write down something you did that you feel good about, and put that slip of paper in a box. Well, it’s time to reintroduce the concept. Keep on adding to the box. But then, at the same time you add something to your Amazing Box, dig deep in there and pull out a slip of paper, read it, and feel good about the things that you did a while ago. You’re doing okay. Now is the time to realize it.

Try a smaller goal for the win

February goal

We think of resolutions as a New Year thing – because that’s the biggest new start of the year. But, here’s another way of looking at goals. We’re given a new start every month, every week, even every day. So, don’t look at your failure from the week, month, or year before as a complete flop, because you get another chance. If you like resolutions, start a February resolution now. If you prefer goals, start working on a February goal. You’ll be more likely to achieve a smaller goal anyway. And those small goals lead to bigger ones.

Those smaller goals count

Sure, you can have a big goal in mind when you create your smaller monthly goals. But those big goals are daunting. If a goal is too big, I’m frozen into paralysis and unable to accomplish anything. The overwhelming challenge of that big project or goal makes it impossible to continue. But smaller goals are more achievable. They’ll keep the momentum going. And they’re easier to attach milestones to. Plus, we have to remember that celebrating every milestone is even more likely to keep us on the path to that bigger goal.

There’s an old Chinese proverb that says that a long journey starts with a single step. You’ve got to start somewhere. And starting on the road makes you more likely to continue.

Breaking big projects into smaller goals also helps to reduce the fear – that paralysis we face when encountering something massive – and can also help to clarify the direction that the final project will take.

An example

Say your goal is to work out 4 times a week for a year. That’s 52 weeks, 4 times. Or 208 workouts. That’s a lot of workouts. Very daunting. But, break that up. Your goal for February is 16 workouts. 4 short weeks. That’s much more doable. And you can break that up even further. One week is only 4 workouts. A power walk on Sunday with the family, intense cardio on Monday, strength on Wednesday, and yoga on Friday. Celebrate afterward. Perhaps a new playlist? And you’re pumped for next week. You’re focused, you’re locked in. Your self-confidence is soaring. You’re resilient – you can tackle anything.

And that’s what smaller goals can do.

Motivate yourself by doing

That couch is calling. Along with the heated throw. The last thing I want to do is get started on a big project that will keep me at my desk for hours and days. But it’s an important project, and one that’s needed. But I really can’t face such a big project without some motivation. Ever feel like that? You’ve got a worthwhile project, but it feels overwhelming, so you put it off. There is a way to get yourself out from under that heated blanket. Get started. Motivate yourself by doing.

And for those of a certain age, it’s even harder to get off the couch. But it’s possible, and we’ll look at some ways of getting started. Remember that planning is for the strong.

How to get up off the couch

First, consider the rewards of that big project. Like planning a trip to Greece for next year. Think of the bright blue skies, the dazzling white houses, the picturesque villages, the deep aqua sea. Makes me want to go, myself. Okay, I want to go. I can’t wait to bask in the glorious sunshine.

So, the big reward is worthwhile. But the project is still overwhelming and you can’t see a finish line. But that’s not important now. You’re creating more intrinsic motivation by understanding all the rewards of the process. You’re making yourself want to continue with the project by seeing the benefits along the way.

Steps to make your dream a reality

The next step will require paper and pen. Think of the steps that you’ll need to take to make this dream a reality. Don’t worry about how to make it all happen yet. That comes later. So, you’ll need to nail down dates with the family, get visas, figure out what cities to see, what clothes to bring, and make sure that you’ll be able to do all the walking.

The juices are flowing. You’re witnessing how to motivate yourself by doing. You can’t wait for the next step.

Now for the details

Now is the time for the nitty gritty. The details. As before, visualize all the benefits of each step. That visa application will get you to the Greek islands. Today’s walking workout with increased incline will get you up those rocky hills. Now you understand that you motivate yourself by doing.

Resilience grows with little habits

You don’t need me to tell you that things are tough these days. It’s hard even waking up and facing a new day. It’s tempting to get back under the covers and withdraw from the world. But that’s the way things are now, and the more we can do for our own resilience, the happier we’ll be. Former Navy SEAL Mark Divine suggests that the rituals we do every day can help. Our resilience grows with little habits that are part of those rituals. Like brushing our hair a certain way. Or making the bed at the same time every morning.

And it turns out that a study from MIT supports Divine’s claim. We all know that it takes many repetitions for something to become a habit. Do something every day for about a month. The MIT study shows that making small changes with consistent positive reinforcement helps the process. “The brain has an absolutely fabulous system for getting reward signals. The system is so sensitive that researchers have seen nerve cells fire in response to a single word, evoking a craving long after a habit has been kicked.” This means that once a habit is formed, it sticks. And that’s why it’s so hard to break habits, even bad ones, like smoking. The brain associates the action of the habit with the reward that it received – even if it hasn’t received that reward recently.

So, healthy habits that we practice continually through the day can condition our minds and body to be calm, maintain a neutral perspective, and consider our next actions clearly. These habits serve us well in times of stress. We can better deal with that stress and not overreact. But how to create those healthy habits? I’ve talked about creating an exercise habit before, because folks seem to have the most resistance to that. It’s easily doable – I’m not going to say it’s easy, because for many, it’s totally alien. But it’s doable. Find a program that you don’t hate. Schedule it on your calendar. Prepare for that very important date with yourself. And show up.

When you create healthy habits for yourself, your resilience grows. It’s, of course, essential for your healthy aging. And you’re happier and more optimistic. You’ll be courageous in a way you never envisioned.