General Health Archives - Fran's Fitness Over 50

Try the Grow-in Instead of the Lock-in

Great Lock-in Too Restricted? Try the Grow

A while back I wrote about the Great Lock-in. There are just a couple months left of the year, and this would be the time to get ready to take down all comers in the New Year. Make sure you slay those dragons in the first quarter and achieve your goals in a flash. But that might seem too harsh and restrictive. Many folks are trying a different TikTok challenge – the 75 Grow. There aren’t quite 75 days left this year, but that shouldn’t dissuade you from trying this. The goal here is to move, do something you’d ordinarily avoid, and be creative every day. Basically, to grow three habits before the end of the year.

So before you say that this is dumb, let’s take a closer look at what happens when you grow 3 healthy habits before next year.

Movement

This part you’re probably already on board with. I’ve written about the importance of exercise, and if you exercise three or four days a week, you’re probably not sitting around all day on the other days. Even a brief walk counts to grow this habit.

Do something brave

Doing something you’d prefer to avoid every day counts as being brave, in my mind. I was brave last week and called a new dentist’s office (the dentist I’d been seeing for many years retired this last summer). I could have put it off for a few more weeks, but I knew the tooth that was giving me problems would not get better on its own. And the day after I visited my new dentist I was brave again and showed up for the No Kings rally in a neighboring town. Being brave like this increases our optimism – I was proud of myself even for making that phone call. And it also increases our resilience. We’re able to face challenges and meet them head on.

Be creative

This is the fun part of the challenge for me. Increasing our creativity opens our mind to other new things. Even if it’s doing something you’re done before, this will open new passageways in your brain and, again, increase your optimism, happiness, and resilience.

If we grow 3 healthy habits before the end of the year, we’ll be moving more, we’ll be happier and more optimistic. We’ll also be able to meet more challenges and confront more obstacles without sending us into a declining spiral. And we’ll be healthier, having moved our bodies every day.

Get it done – with a friend

I believe in getting stuff done. If you want something, I say, figure out a way and get it done. Many times, though, it’s not so simple. Sometimes there are natural impediments to what you want. Other times the thing that you want is so nebulous you can’t clarify it in your own mind. And still other times, you get stuck doing other stuff or procrastinate doing that first thing. But here’s a thought, you can get it done – with a friend.

Friends give you a nudge

That’s right, enlist friends to give you that nudge to get stuff done. Here’s an example. Every time you open your closet, you cringe. It’s over-stuffed. Shoes are everywhere. You can’t hang another thing on the rack. And you know that there’s lots of stuff in there that you haven’t worn in years and will never wear. “I’ve got to clean out my closet,” you say on an almost-daily basis. And say you’ve been talking to a friend and mention your packed closet. She says, “Yeah, mine is a mess, too.”

Schedule a time when she can come to your house for half a day so that you can get your closet organized. And another time when you can go to her house. You’ll both get organized closets and feel great.

It turns out that working with a friend to get stuff done is a real thing, and has been in practice for years to help those with ADHD focus and stay motivated. Folks now call this Body Doubling, and according to Michael Manos, PhD., a behavioral health specialist at the Cleveland Clinic, “Essentially it’s external executive functioning, like having an administrative assistant follow you around all day.”

Mom was a body double

Remember when you did your homework at the kitchen table while your mom made dinner? That, in essence, was a form of body doubling. Mom may not have been actively helping you, but her presence provided focus and helped keep you on track.

So, enlist a friend to help you get stuff done. You can do each other a good turn. Closets will get clean and organized, and then you can treat each other to lunch. If your closet is in good shape, but you have other things that are bugging you and you want done, see if a friend can sit with you on a Zoom call for an hour. They might have stuff they want to get done as well. Body doubling doesn’t have to be in-person.

This works for exercise, too. If, like me, you don’t want to go to a gym, but can’t muster the fortitude to lace up your sneakers on your own, see if a friend wants to work out virtually with you. Or, hire a personal trainer online. They’ll make sure you get your workout done.

No matter what it is, you can get it done – with a friend.

Every workout counts

Something to remember as you procrastinate, as we all do: every workout counts. When you lace up your sneakers, or hit the mat or the pool, you’re doing yourself a huge service. It means that you love yourself. You care about yourself. And you want to have the very best future possible.

Switch your schedule and move your body

When you’re not feeling it, when you just don’t have it in you to do the workout you had planned, that’s okay – do a different one. Or take a walk. Put on your favorite playlist and dance. You’re moving your body and that’s a start. You can switch your schedule and do your strength workout tomorrow. Every workout counts. If you don’t feel like doing a particular workout, chances are you wouldn’t give it the focus it – and you – deserve.

I was disgusting

I have to tell you that I skipped yesterday’s planned workout. I caught a cold, and while I knew that I’ll be fine, the mat work just was not going to be good yesterday. It was the sneezing, drippy, messy, totally disgusting day of the cold. And while the experts all say that if a cold is just in your head, you’re fine to exercise, I did not want to drip all over myself and my mat. So I rested. And today I feel better, so I did my scheduled workout.

Your resilience shows

When you exercise regularly, especially as you get older, your body gets used to moving. It enables you to do the things you want to do. And when you switch up your workouts for your healthy aging, your body adapts to the different requirements you place on it. You’re resilient – you know that your body is strong and you can withstand the trials and tribulations you’re sure to face.

So, do yourself a favor and make sure that every workout counts.

Take that first step

Take that first step. That’s the hard part. But it’s at the heart of every person’s journey to achieving big goals. It’s scary, taking the first step on the road to the unknown. Because even though you’ve thought about that big goal, wrote it down, thought some more, and wrote down the steps you believe can get you to that goal, you don’t really know for sure how the process will turn out. And taking that first step is like climbing a flight of stairs and then stepping off the top one into a void.

Still thinking about it

So, if you’re like a lot of people, you think about the goal some more and decide you want to refine some of the variables a little and think some more. And then, before you know it, weeks have passed. Because you’re still thinking and refining.

But this is the road to exactly nowhere. And that’s why a lot of people’s dreams are never realized. Because they never take that first step.

Achieve goals for happiness

If you’re like me, then, you refuse to sink into that cycle of nothingness. You need to achieve goals for your happiness. Work on something that makes you fulfilled for your healthy aging.

Here’s the step-by-step method that actually works to achieve any goal.

Decide on your specific goals

Decide on the goal. Write down all of the specifics you can think of. Picture it. If it’s a house, design every room. The outside, too. And the yards.

If your goal is a novel, decide on the storyline and the tone you want to take with it. Name the characters. Identify the location. Even design your main character’s home or office, or both.

If your goal is a vacation, decide on the location, what you want to do there, and what you need to be able to do the things you want to do. If you want to walk all over Rome, for example, make sure you have a couple pairs of super-comfortable walking shoes. And if you need to work on your endurance, add that to the plan.

Break it down and identify intermediate steps

Now that you’ve identified your goal, break it down. For our vacation example, there are a few intermediate steps – location, itinerary, and ability.

For each intermediate step, break it down further. What parts of Rome do you want to focus on? Do some research there. What museums, historic attractions and restaurants do you want to visit? Do you need to make reservations for anything now? (There are vacation planners online that can help you.)

And if you need to increase your endurance, how can you proceed to be in the best shape by the time your trip comes around? First, assess your current fitness level and compare that to what you need to tramp all around Rome. And figure out what it will take to get you to that level. Start walking 1500 yards today, 2000 tomorrow, maybe a mile by next week. If you have a smart phone, there are apps that can count your steps if you put it in your pocket. If you like the walking shoes you’re wearing now, perhaps buy a couple more pair and break them in before your trip.

Take that first step

Now, you’ve identified the progression. You’ve achieved the mindset to make your dream happen. You know what to do. And you know what that first step is. It’s no longer so scary. So, go ahead and take it.

Get ready for the dark months with the Great Lock In

One of the latest fads on TikTok these days is the Winter Arc or Great Lock-in. You’re thinking, “Didn’t we do that last year?” Because we did the Winter Arc challenge last year. But this year, it’s a different way to get ready for the dark months of winter. The Winter Arc was all about focusing on the mental and physical side of your health and well-being. The goal was to become calm and really dialed into exactly what was needed for that.

A different way to get ready for the dark months

This year, there’s a fresh approach. The Great Lock-in, embraced by Gen Z (born between around 1997 to 2012), but is actually good for everyone, is about getting yourself ready to achieve those big goals you have for yourself by the end of this year.

The viral TikTok post from @kadieglenn centers around self-trust. Because you’re not going to be able to achieve the big things you want if you can’t trust yourself to actually get there. You’ll recognize her points, but she’s finding a new audience with her post. So, be true to yourself and let’s get ready for the dark months of winter when we’ll crush our big goals.

Start small

Kadie Glenn, a London-based influencer, says to first start small so that consistency is easy. I’ve recommended that you break all your goals into little pieces so you’re not looking at that big, overwhelming one. Glenn gives the example of not saying you’re going to hit the gym five days a week when you havn’t been there all year. Start with two days. And if you’re successful with that, then you can scale up to more.

Track your wins – doing it is a win

Next, track your wins. Glenn says one way is to use a habit tracker so you show “proof of progress.” Progress is a definite win. When my arms were shaking, practicing the Balance Plank, before my face hit the mat, I was counting the seconds. From one to three, then five and ultimately ten seconds. Those incremental seconds were wins for me.

Once is okay, but twice?

Third, Glenn’s rule of “Never Miss Twice.” Sure, things happen. You can go off the wagon for one day. Eat the pizza. Miss a workout. But not two days. This gives you permission to take a mental health day. There have been days when I just couldn’t face that treadmill. I’m human. And even though I committed to my treadmill two days a week, there have been times when I just couldn’t. If you miss a day, it had been all too easy to give in to the shame and self-disparagement. You say, “I’ll never get it. I’ll never be able to resist the cheesecake.” But the “Never Miss Twice” rule acknowledges that we’re only human and have flaws. Get right back on the wagon and continue. There will be bumps in the road. Acknowledge them and move on.

Drop what doesn’t serve

And finally, “Create fiction and flow.” Create friction with those bad habits. Drop the habits that no longer serve you. If you need to delete apps off your phone, do it. If you need to delete so-called friends from your social media feed, do it. And the same for real people. This is more difficult, but probably more necessary. Drop those toxic influences from your life. Eliminate the annoyances where you can. Acquire a problem-solving mindset.

Here’s a personal example. You know that my sister and I live together. Sometimes she washes her hair in my bathroom – no big deal. The sink is nice and deep and has a goose-neck faucet. I used to keep a cup near the hot water lever. It wasn’t in the way, but my sister insisted on moving it every time. The problem was that she moved it to a spot where I consistently knocked it to the floor. It’s a small thing, but it annoyed me. So now I keep my cup in a spot that’s out of the way, not on the sink. Problem solved.

Create flow with systems

And at the same time, create the flow you need to become the person you want to be. Glenn gives the example of being frustrated every morning, rushing to find your gym clothes. So, make going to the gym easy by setting your clothes out, including shoes, the night before. That works for career dressing, too. Or creating a task list for the next day in the late afternoon, when you know what’s not going to get done today.

Glenn’s post ended with a saying that makes perfect sense. “We do not rise to the level of our goals, we fall to the level of our systems.” So if we create systems that work to advance us toward achieving our goals, we’re bound to be successful. Let’s get ready for the dark months so that we crush those big goals at the start of the new year.

Introverts fail at this

We’ve seen lots of discussions lately about emotional intelligence. But many introverts fail at this. I’m an introvert. I’d much rather send an email than talk to someone. I’m writing this the day after Labor Day – and yesterday was absolutely fantastic. I spent most of the day with my dogs just relaxing. I read a good book for hours. No contact with the outside world. And it was great. So today (and most days, actually) I’m a little on edge because I do have to interact with other people. Most people’s worlds depend on successful interactions with others. And many introverts fail at this.

Imperative for success?

Many experts believe that emotional intelligence is imperative for success – for getting ahead, and even being happy. But introverts have a hard time with at least one, probably more, of the key skills that emotional intelligence requires.

We hear the term “emotional intelligence” being kicked around a lot lately, but what does it entail?

The keys to emotional intelligence

Self-awareness – this means that we are able to recognize our own emotions, choices and actions and how they may affect others. Introverts usually don’t have a problem with self-awareness. If anything, we’re too self-aware.

Self-regulation – the “ability to process and express emotions constructively, adapt to changes flexibly, and manage conflict effectively,” according to Psychologist Daniel Goleman. Sometimes I do have a problem expressing my emotions clearly and in a way that others understand without having to take action.

But here’s the big one – social skills. Goleman defines this as being an active listener and a strong communicator who can form “high-trust relationships.” This an introvert does with only a very few people. It takes a lot for us to really trust others.

Empathy and motivation are the last two emotional intelligence skills that Goleman identifies. Again, we don’t have a problem understanding and feeling for others. We can usually respond to others’ emotions in a careful and caring way. And we introverts can have a highly developed drive to seek out learning experiences and get things done.

How does this impact introverts?

So how does the lack of social skills impact us introverts? By not forming those “high-trust relationships” with others, we risk not having the camaraderie of others. Successful teams form relationships seemingly forever. And having those relationships adds a richness and fulfillment to life. Different people can add different perspectives to our own lives. They’ll bring up ideas that we may never have. Others have different backgrounds that can only add color and variety to our own lives. So, as much as it’s difficult, we introverts have to push and open ourselves to others for our own health and resilience.

The simplest can be the best

Why walking is a game changer for your healthy aging

Aging is different for us than for our parents. It seemed like our parents and grandparents welcomed the aging process. I remember my grandmother being terribly vain about her appearance, but not really doing much for her physical well-being other than visiting the doctor regularly. Exercise was not a priority for that generation. I think my grandmother would have laughed me into next week if I suggested she just take a walk with me. Walking is a game changer, though. The simplest exercise can be the best.

Movement of any kind is good

Movement of any kind can help us live longer and be happier. The World Health Organization says that inactivity can lead to an increased risk of chronic diseases such as diabetes, cardiovascular disease and certain cancers. And adding walking to your day is as easy as lacing up your sneakers. Park a little further away from the grocery store. You’ve got a cart for the groceries you buy, so walk the extra distance. And if it’s one of those deals where you rent the cart for a quarter, you’re getting double the benefit when you have to walk it back for your quarter.

The simplest exercise can be the best

Walking is easy. You don’t have to think about it – walking is just something we’ve done since babyhood. But it turns out that the simplest exercise can be the best – because you’re doing it.

Walking adds “repeated resistance” to our leg muscles and bones, making them stronger. Our hip, knee, and ankle joints’ mobility benefit from walking, too. And walking increases our endurance, too. If we want to continue participating in activities, then endurance is crucial. We want to be able to outlast those dogs or grandkids.

The number of steps you take can be a fun number to track, and that’s important, but the time and intensity of your exercise is the thing that matters most. If you’re taking a leisurely stroll, then you’ll have to do it for longer. But if you’re power-walking, then you’re working those legs at a higher intensity and the minimum 20 to 30 minutes three days a week should be sufficient. The latest guidance is that participants in a study who walked 8,000 steps twice a week had lower mortality from any cause than those who were sedentary.

So, go ahead. Lace up your sneakers and take a walk.

The distraction trap is real

The other day I was totally unmotivated to do anything. It’s not that I didn’t have stuff to do. I just didn’t feel like doing any of it. The distraction trap is real.

So I read some of my own articles. I wasted a lot of time trying to get motivated. I told myself I was looking for inspiration on social media. Nope. Those posts on upcycling furniture, people making their own cosplay outfits, tips for going to Disney World (I wish), Alex Guarnaschelli making her favorite salad dressing, and the cute little baby pygmy hippo in Kansas drew me in.

The algorithms are stacked against productivity

The algorithms know me. And they know you, too. They’ll destroy any semblance of time management you have. They’ll send post after post, video after video, specially designed to keep you on the platform. The puppies are cute, the food looks good enough to eat – or more horrible than you can possibly imagine, so you can’t look away. The social media distraction trap is real.

My problem was that I didn’t set a timer. Or look at my Get Stuff Done Funtime Menu.

Easy methods to get back on track

These are easy methods to get back on track. If you know what you have to do but don’t want to get to it right away, set your timer for 5 or 10 minutes. Your phone timer will do, but a kitchen timer is better. Allow yourself a few minutes to waste time scrolling. The problem with a phone timer is that, on your way to find the right app, you run the risk of going down another distraction rabbit hole. But if you trust yourself, then by all means, use your phone.

Your Get Stuff Done Funtime Menu can be a valuable tool in keeping yourself on track. You’ll be listing tasks of varying lengths of time so that when you lack motivation, you can find something that’ll spark your interest, change your mindset and get productive again. Be sure to include a variety of tasks in your Menu – physically challenging, easier, writing tasks, lists to make, so you’ll find an activity you’ll want to do.

If you don’t try you can’t fail

Failure happens. Get used to it.

We’ve talked about failure before. We have high hopes, set lofty goals, take some steps toward that goal, and then … it’s not working. Or you know steps that you need to take if something’s going to happen (like making a call that could possibly open doors for you), but you don’t do it. Why? You think the person on the other end will say no. No one wants to fail. We’ll do pretty much anything we can to avoid it. But the more we can recognize the fact that failure happens, the better our chances are that we can move past it.

Our minds skip over the possibility

We don’t want to think about failure. Our minds just kind of skip over the fact that failure is a possibility in our endeavors. So not thinking about failure can be a way to avoid failure itself. The problem with that is that if we don’t try, we’re not successful in our endeavors, either.

A paper a few years ago showed that even motivated people don’t try out their ideas because they’re afraid of failing. Fear of failure does hold us back. Society has told us to stay positive, so we do – and don’t even think of failure as an option. But it’s always there, niggling in the back of our minds. We’re afraid to fail, so we don’t try.

On the other hand, if we accept the fact that failure is an option, it might happen, then we’ll put ourselves out there. Sure, once we do, we can still fail. And another study says that the fear of failure may return.

That’s why we have to rehearse failure. Prepare for the contingencies. Josh Davis, Ph.D., says that just a few shifts in our mindset can have us trying the things we used to wait on. Instead of justifying not doing something – it’s not ready, or I’m not ready for people to say no – prepare reasons for doing it anyway.

And if it’s something inherently personal, like starting an exercise program, if you’re scared of what people will say, the same shift helps as well. Expect your family to give you resistance and pooh-pooh the idea. They may say, “Oh, you look great as you are!” And you can say, “Thank you, but I expect I’ll feel even better doing it.”

Feel exhilaration in the process

Instead of feeling let down, prepare to feel exhilaration in the process.

And instead of fearing the “no’s,” prepare to hear “no” and find out the “why’s” so that you can make it better. The more you put yourself out there, the more you can change with the new information you learn. You’re more resilient. And you’re learning. All that contributes to your healthy aging process.

So the sooner that you realize that failure happens, the sooner you can get on the road to success.

Who knew I was ahead of the times?

The motivation secret I told you about a year ago

Enter dopamine anchoring. Do you like to fold laundry? It’s not my favorite job, either. Do you like compiling a big report on Friday afternoon? Nope – I’m thinking about the weekend. It’s no surprise that we tend to procrastinate over jobs that we don’t care for. And then it’s a mad rush to get them done right before a deadline. But I told you about something I do that makes a task I don’t like a whole lot easier. It’s that little treat that keeps me going on the treadmill. Experts are now calling it dopamine anchoring.

Make work seem less like work

The theory is that when you pair a task with something that you enjoy, then the task feels less like work. “The term draws on the neurotransmitter dopamine, which is linked to pleasure, anticipation and motivation,” said Lauren Mastroni, a career expert at CV Genius. “The ‘anchoring’ part refers to creating a consistent link between that positive emotional payoff and the task you’ve associated with it.”

So if you consistently pair the same reward, say listening to your favorite music, with the same task, say compiling weekly reports that are due, then eventually your brain automatically associates compiling that report with a pleasurable activity, listening to your music. I have a favorite channel on Pandora, and listening to that helps me with the bookkeeping. Yes, I know, I have an accounting degree. But that doesn’t mean that I enjoy the work any longer. But I get to listen to my favorite tunes.

I’ve been using dopamine anchoring for months

You know that I’m not a running fan. But in the months that I’ve been listening to an exciting audiobook during my time on the treadmill, I’ve (kind of) turned my opinion about running on its side. Running is still hard and I don’t really look forward to it, but it’s the only time I get to listen to that book, so I keep on doing it.

Productivity expert Ryan Zhang says, “Over time, you stop dreading these tasks because your brain knows something good is coming.” And that’s why I keep putting on my running shoes. I want to find out what happens next in my book.

So I’ve anchored something I enjoy (escaping with an exciting book) with something I used to dread doing (running). Psychotherapist Meg Gitlin says this is powerful medicine. “Pairing a dull or difficult task with something pleasurable ― like listening to music while cleaning or enjoying a favorite snack while studying ― can help reframe the task as tolerable or even enjoyable. Over time, your brain learns to associate the task itself with positive reinforcement. This can improve consistency, motivation and even mood regulation.”

Instead of procrastinating, enjoy the chore

Instead of procrastinating over your least favorite chore, you’ll be looking forward to doing it because you’ll also be doing something you really enjoy.

So if you have a few laundry baskets piled with clothes or sheets that need folding, perhaps you should pop in your earbuds and listen to a podcast or music, or stream your favorite TV drama. You’ll save time that you used to waste procrastinating, and you’ll feel so productive having completed a chore that you dreaded. But what are you going to do with all those laundry baskets?