Change is hard. But sometimes worth it.

Change is hard. But I’ll get to that in a minute. I’m lucky enough to be getting older. And while I’m approaching my healthy aging with good habits and intentions, there are days when my knees, hips and shoulders let me know that they’ve been used. Those days I’m stiff and achy and grumpy. My sister wanted to try turmeric paste, or “Golden Paste,” for our aging dogs, and she suggested that I try it too. I agreed, because it’s all natural and I don’t mind the taste. 

Benefits of turmeric

While there’s no real definitive study that proves this to be true, there are studies that suggest that turmeric, when combined with black pepper, is effective in reducing the risk of chronic inflammation and in reducing arthritis pain. Plus some research suggests that it helps fight cognitive decline, which is especially important for our healthy aging. You’ll note that turmeric is combined with black pepper for better absorption and effectiveness. I don’t like black pepper, especially not in large quantities.

How to incorporate the stuff into my diet?

So, there’s the dilemma. Change is hard. But I want to incorporate this “Golden Paste”  into my diet. The paste is prepared by reducing a large amount of turmeric in water, then adding coconut oil and a large amount of black pepper as the mixture cools. I tried mixing the paste in my morning orange juice. It was terrible. I mentioned that I don’t like black pepper to start with, and mixing it in orange juice was really awful. But, I’m resilient. I can come back from this awfulness and think of something else.

An old-timey solution

Then my sister came up with the idea of mixing it with cottage cheese for breakfast. I had been eating an egg every morning, along with a tomato. (Don’t knock it – it’s good.) But cottage cheese could take the place of the egg – it’s high in protein and doesn’t have substantially more calories. And it’s good with tomato. Years ago, I remember my mom loved cottage cheese and tomato, spiced with seasoned salt. The golden paste could take the place of the salt. So I tried it, and the cottage cheese has a strong enough flavor to mask the pepper.

Change is hard, but joints that don't ache will be good!

I’ve been eating this concoction for about a week, and things look promising. I don’t want to say much, because the paste is supposed to take several weeks for its effectiveness to be noted. But even though change is hard, this change is palatable.

The moral of this story? Even though we resist change, sometimes the results are worth it. And if this stuff works, even a little, I’ll be that much further toward my goals. Imagine not waking up to aching hips and knees. And if I’m not hurting when I fall into bed at night, a good night’s sleep will be that much easier.

An easy fix for weight loss?

Is this the easy fix everyone’s been waiting for?

I was a fat kid. I wrote that for my “About” page for this blog lots of years ago. Back when I was that fat kid, I wanted that easy fix for weight loss, that pill to swallow that would make me skinny. I went on diet after diet, trying to lose weight the easy way, by cutting out way too much food. But that’s what we did back then. When I was in high school I was finally sick and tired of being bullied. I wanted to get into the exclusive dance club. So I did it the hard way. I lost weight by watching everything that went into my mouth and by jumping rope for hours on end on the cement slab behind the house. The weight came off and stayed off all these years later.

Everyone’s on Ozempic

I had a dentist appointment last week, and she asked if I was on any medication, one of the standard questions. I gave my standard answer, “No.” And she said that many of her patients are on Ozempic to lose weight. People seem to think it’s the easy fix for weight loss that I wanted when I was younger.

Would I take it?

And that got me thinking. Would I take it now to lose weight? I don’t know for sure, but I’d like to think my answer would be, “No.” Ozempic is not a drug that’s listed for weight loss. It’s a drug for Type 2 Diabetes. Long-term effects haven’t been studied in otherwise healthy people who take it to lose weight. So, what could it be doing to healthy people’s systems? Rhetorical question, there. And when you stop taking the drug, many people gain the weight back, as with any weight-loss drug.

This writer won’t

I read an article by a writer who’s struggled with their weight their whole life. He’s not at his “ideal” weight, but he’s not going to be taking Ozempic any time soon either. It’s not because it’s a drug, or could be detrimental to his health. He refuses to conform to what society accepts. Good for him!

Waste time to get motivated

So this morning I woke up early, thinking I could write maybe a thousand words in my novel. I was at a crucial point, but a couple of days ago, the last time I tackled this document, I got stuck. I’m at a crucial plot point, and I couldn’t figure out how to resolve the issue. So today, after I got back from the bathroom and made sure the dogs were still sleeping soundly, I turned on my keyboard, got my phone, and was immediately distracted by a news story. Funny, now, I don’t even remember what that story was. I must have wasted ten minutes scrolling the news after reading that story.

Then I shook myself (mentally) and told myself to get to work. Opened the Google Doc and started banging the keyboard. No breaks for about a half hour, until I had to get up and start the day. I didn’t quite make it to a thousand words, but came close. It turns out that it’s actually a proven productivity method: waste time to get motivated.

Scroll social media?

In fact, Joi Foley of the Rockwood Leadership Institute, advocates scrolling social media as a way to get away from the pressure you put on yourself when you’re stuck. If you’re working on a project and are stymied on where to take it, chances are your path will become clear after a break. And scrolling your social media accounts for a few minutes can provide that break. Thinking about a great bread pudding recipe, for example, can let your mind solve that other, totally unrelated, problem. The key here is to get back on track after a few minutes. If you like this solution to problem-solving, you may want to use an app to get you back to your task after a set time period.

Do nothing

Another way Foley can waste time to get motivated is to do nothing. Just sit and breathe. I’ve advocated meditation myself. It’s sometimes hard to get the noises out of your head, though, to meditate properly. Perhaps a short guided meditation can help you focus on something else.

Work for 5 minutes

So another time-waster Foley suggests is to just work for 5 minutes. Goodness knows, sometimes those 5 minutes can seem like forever when I’m working on a project I wasn’t looking forward to. So after those 5 minutes are up, do something else. Chances are, you’ll start thinking about the project you left and get the urge to start working on it again.

Take a walk

I also advocate a change of scenery. Take a short walk. That often helps me clear my head and want to dive into a project when I get back. Taking a walk not only helps productivity but also contributes to your happiness.

All this time-wasting is contributing to your productivity. By strategically doing other things, and thinking about other stuff, you’re actually doing more to get the stuff you really want to get done, done. And that will make you happier, more optimistic, and more resilient. It contributes to your healthy aging and you’ll get the urge to get even more stuff done.

It doesn’t have to be fancy

The concept of creating goals for yourself may seem intense and scary. You may picture sitting at a very professional-looking desk with an open journal, colored pens and rulers. A couple of screens and a fancy keyboard may occupy a corner of the desk. But it doesn’t have to be fancy. Planning for your future can be as no-frills as you want it. Whether it’s a goal to become more fit, to eat right, to earn a million dollars, to buy a new house, setting your goals can be as simple as you like. Get a piece of paper and start writing.

Fitness goal? No-frills is best

If one of your goals is fitness, no-frills may be best. You don’t need special equipment or specific workout gear. You just have to be specific about exactly what you want and a timetable to get there. If you know that you want to do strength training two times a week, your own body weight can help you out. It doesn’t have to be fancy. Just today I read about 2 celebrities who used mainly body-weight exercises while touring and on location. 

Carrie Underwood, country music superstar, worked with a trainer recently on tour to keep her endurance up. She said, “”I try to make the most of my time. I have changed my focus. Instead of just trying to get those external results that I wanted, my goals have changed. I want to be stronger, I want to live longer; those are the things that I want now other than just, ‘I want to fit into that.'” Underwood’s goals and wellness practices still aren’t big or splashy; rather, her habits are things she can “stick with forever,” and that’s what she recommends for others as well. Don’t get fancy – just get it done.

And Pedro Pascal, star of “The Mandalorian,” took a similar approach while on location filming the movie “The Last of Us.” There was no equipment, so he had to rely on body-weight moves for the mobility and movement he needed for the character. 

Make a date with yourself

If becoming more fit is one of your goals, there’s no need to join a gym or invest in expensive equipment. Make a date with yourself a few times a week to go for a walk. Have a half-hour dance session. Cue up your favorite playlist and move. Don’t break those dates with yourself! Working toward your fitness goals will make you more optimistic and you’ll feel more powerful and resilient.

Test the waters first for other goals too

And the same kind of thing follows for your other goals. Start by testing the waters. If you want to save money, think about easy ways to start. Don’t buy the most expensive coffee drink. Make coffee at home every day. If you invest in an inexpensive coffee maker (I use a single-cup French Press coffee maker that costs under $10) and a can of coffee grounds, you may find that you like it even better than the expensive stuff you buy at coffee shops you have to travel to. Make your lunch at home a few times a week. Limit your restaurant spending. Maybe don’t buy those shoes this month. Start small. 

Achieving your goals doesn’t have to be fancy. Keep working at it. Figure out ways to start small and grow from there.

Harness your anxiety

The last couple of years have shown most of the world that anxiety can be generalized and no one is immune from it. Everyone has had some degree of anxiety for most of the last two years. And it doesn’t seem to be easing up. I’ve written about what to do to ease your anxiety, but what would happen if we could harness our anxiety and make it work for us?

The possibilities are practically endless

I think of all the worries we, collectively, have expressed the past several months and am just floored by the possibility of the anxious energy that could have been put to good use. If I could have harnessed my anxiety, I could have another book written. Our leaders could have developed a plan for world peace. On second thought, maybe not that last one.

But, if we could harness our anxiety, our productivity would soar! 

Put your anxiety to use

Matt Higgins, author of Burn the Boats: Toss Plan B Overboard and Unleash Your Full Potentialexplains four ways to put your anxiety to good use.

Tip #1 – Find supporting data

Matt’s first tip is to find a study to reassure you. Matt was worried about how his lack of sleep might affect his performance in a marathon. So, he found results from a study indicating that sleep deprivation did not matter in marathon performance. Of course, the study did find that mental performance was adversely affected, but not physical. Matt competed in that marathon and improved his time by a significant amount.

Data is not always reassuring, but somebody somewhere will have gone through what you are, so a quick search is worth the effort.

Tip #2 – Meditate

Meditation boosts resilience.
Meditate with a friend…

The second tip: meditate daily. “Meditation has been shown to boost resilience, emotional intelligence, creativity, relationships, and focus—and I’m going to be another voice telling you that it should be a key tool in your anxiety tool kit.” I recently decided to meditate for a short time every day. Just a couple of minutes. Sometimes it’s a guided meditation, other times I just sit with my eyes shut and take my brain on a mini-vacation. Matt says he’s not perfect about his new daily meditation habit, but firmly believes in it, as self-care is essential.

Tip #3 – Add people

Next – add people to your cause. I’m a firm believer in friends and community. And when your friends join you in a cause, it’s just natural that your joint anxiety plummets. Not to mention, you get a ton of stuff done. But pick the right friends – every person has different beliefs and ways of getting things done.

Tip #4 – Acknowledge that you need help

Finally – don’t hesitate to ask for help. Acknowledge that you need help. Don’t forget that being vulnerable is one step to growing your self-confidence. Matt tells of a friend whose anxiety manifested in ways that were negatively affecting his performance at work. He intervened and helped the friend to tone down the intensity of his emotions. That friend went on to a succeed in a very difficult profession.

So – make your anxiety work for you. First – narrow down the subject of your anxiety and then identify ways of making it be productive for you.

Four action steps to get past your fear

What can we do when the world is in chaos

There is terrible news all over the media these days. War in Europe. Financial disaster looming. Gas prices spiking. Storms on the way. It’s natural to feel worried and stressed. The news reporters are screaming, bombs are exploding in the background. Everyone is worried. 

What can you do when the world is in chaos? How can you get past your fear?

Remember, you can’t control the world

The first thing to remember is that we can’t control the world. Some of us worry and stress when we think about current events, with the same unhelpful thoughts spinning around in our brain. Dr. Alice Boyes, author of The Anxiety Toolkit, says that anxiety and rumination (thinking the same negative thoughts over and over) form a feedback loop where one causes the other. Rumination and worry are often associated with being closed to new ideas and with poor mental health. You can recognize your own rumination when you keep thinking about the same topic or the same news report over and over. So, here are four action steps to get past your fear, and at the same time, increase your resilience. 

  1. Dr. Boyes says that rather than helping you problem-solve, rumination and worry usually just make it difficult to see the big picture for all the minutiae in your brain. So, instead of worrying about global affairs, try to focus on something you can actually do something about.

Focus on a current problem you have, or on a project that you want to complete. You’ll actually be productive and get something done. That’s a much better outcome than randomly thinking the same unhelpful thoughts for hours.

  1. If your brain won’t let you focus, I understand. I’ve been there. I’m a worrier too. Certain calming methods really do help you get past the anxiety and focus on the things that you can do something about. I wrote about some of these in my article, “Still anxious and stressed?” 

Try calming breathing techniques – practice breathing deeply and regularly. Find the number of seconds to breathe in and out that’s most comfortable for you and actually count while you breathe.

Meditation can help calm your thoughts. A friend helps.
Meditation can help calm your thoughts. A friend helps.
  1. Meditation works too. If your brain is going a mile a minute and you’re new to meditation, try a guided one. The guided “Garden Walk” meditation is just a couple of minutes long, but will leave you feeling more peaceful. The only requirement for meditation is to be comfortable.
  1. Journaling your thoughts can also help you process them. Your journal is your safe place. Write anything you like in your journal and you won’t be judged. Get your thoughts on paper so they’re not cluttering your head.

Try one or two of these recommendations the next time you feel yourself start to panic. (When I recognize myself starting to panic I start by closing my eyes and taking a deep breath. Then I think about something positive I can actually do.) Yes, the world is a scary place now, but you can get past your fear.

Exercise can save you money

Exercise can help you save money.

You’ll be happier if you exercise.

And you’ll attract people to you if you’re not scowling – you’ll make more friends.

Exercise can save you money

Don’t believe me? A HealthPartners Research Foundation research study showed that people over 50 years old who started exercising only 90 minutes per week saved about $2,200 per year in medical costs. And a CDC study showed that older people who visited a health club twice a week saved over $1,200 more in healthcare costs than those who visited a health club less than that.

Sounds good to me.

How this makes sense

Exercise does more for you than just increase physical fitness. Exercise can save you money.
Exercise does more for you than just increase physical fitness. Exercise can save you money.

And it makes sense. If you’re exercising, you’re getting fitter. And you’re getting healthier. We’ve talked many times about the health benefits of exercising – It can lower your blood pressure and boost your good cholesterol (HDL). Exercise promotes better blood flow, and decreases the risk of heart disease. Plus, it can help prevent or manage other health concerns like diabetes and stroke.

Exercise has also been proven to ward off many types of cancer. Anecdotally, it’s been a long time since I’ve had a cold. Even before we all started to wear masks all the time, it had been several years since I’ve been laid low by illness (knock on wood – don’t want to jinx myself…).

Happiness after exercise

Exercise is also a mood-lifter. Those post-exercise endorphins are no myth. After a workout I’m happier and easier to be around. Just ask my sister. Exercise helps you sleep better too. And a good night’s sleep is a must-have for happiness. The world seems brighter after I burn a few hundred calories! And after a good workout there’s no guilt at eating a healthy dinner. 

Exercise can save you money and attract people to you!

If you’re happier and in a good mood, you’ll be easier to be around. No scowls – more friends. People will want to be closer to you. Even with a mask on, people know if you’re scowling! More friends = more happiness. A better outlook on life. And all from a couple hours of exercise.

It’s (mostly) what you eat

Trying to lose weight? That seems to be the permanent state for many of us.There’s no instant cure, and it’s mostly what you eat. A sad statement, but true. Losing weight is hard. Really hard. Especially as we get older. And it seems to be even harder for us women. So many of my friends are struggling to lose the extra pounds the pandemic caused them to pack on. And it’s harder after menopause to maintain our current weight without gaining any.

Losing weight after menopause is not impossible

Yes, it’s hard. But it’s not impossible. Yes, hormonal changes tend to increase our appetite and change the way our bodies store fat. Unfortunately, it’s around our middles. And after menopause our activity levels tend to decrease which leads to loss of muscle mass. 

But we can change that. It is not a foregone conclusion that you can’t lose weight after menopause. 

The same methods that worked before menopause to lose weight work after. It just takes more discipline and thought on our part to make them work.

So, what’s the plan?

In order for you to lose weight, the formula is very simple. You have to burn more calories than you consume. Simple, right? It’s mostly what you eat: specifically it matters how much you eat. No matter what you read anywhere else, the combinations don’t matter. Where your food comes from doesn’t matter. What matters are the numbers.

After that it’s a head game. 

It's mostly what you eat: you can eat a lot of salad or a little ice cream for the same calories.
You can eat a lot of salad or a little ice cream for the same calorie count.

Your body will trick you to eat more. A calorie of ice cream looks a lot different than a calorie of kale. Your mind wants more ice cream. Or cheese puffs. Sometimes it’s really hard to say no to that. And that’s the hard part. It’s hard sticking to the plan when the numbers on the scale don’t move.

For long-term success, it works best to lose weight at a slower rate. If you slash your calorie intake, you’re going to be hungry. Your body will tell you that it’s starving. And even if you lose a ton of weight quickly, you’ll gain most if not all – or even more – of it back within six months. Plus, you won’t be taking in the quality nutrients you need to maintain your muscle and bone mass.

To maintain our weight, experts say that most women need about 1,400 to 1,800 calories a day to maintain their weight. Taller women and those who weigh more to start are at the higher end of the range and those of us (like me) who are smaller need less. That has never seemed fair to me, being “height-challenged.” But, anyway …

So it stands to reason that eating less than 1,400 calories a day will put you on the road to weight loss. Experts say that cutting 200 – 300 calories a day makes sense for weight-loss of about a pound a week. Four pounds a month sounds pretty good for a sustained weight-loss plan. 

And this is a plan that you can stick to. You’ll be able to take in the nutrients your body needs and lose the weight that you need to.

But, wait. You always write about exercise being important

Yes, yes I do always write about exercise. Exercise lets me burn even more calories so that I can eat more. And exercise has other benefits beyond weight-loss that I’ve written about.

But today it’s about the head games your body plays with your diet.

Those hormones that I referred to at the top of this article will trick you into snacking. They’ll trick you into eating more mashed potatoes. And those extra calories will go to your belly.

So you have to play more serious head games with yourself to stay on the straight and narrow path. 

No, you don’t want that cookie. Water sounds delightful. I’ll take a walk instead of eating that pint of Ben & Jerry’s in the freezer. In the coming weeks I’ll talk more about my tips and tricks for sticking with the plan. 

For now, please know that it’s not impossible. It’s just hard. But you’re fierce and able to do it.

Have you been slouching on the couch?

Our make-do office solutions

Many of us, used to working in a proper office, with a proper desk and a proper desk chair, have been working from home the last few months without any of those proper things. Some of us have set up a make-shift desk with any old chair or have been working on the dining room table.

Others have been sitting on the couch with our laptops heating up the cushions.

Mom’s not there to correct your posture, and we’ve been slouching.

Come on, you know it’s true. Your mom hasn’t been around to poke her finger into the middle of your back and tell you to sit up straight.

As a result, your back is killing you. We’ve talked before about some simple ways to correct your behavior to prevent back pain, and these tips will help if you fall off the wagon with that, too.

Help your back after slouching on the couch with these 5 tips

Aside from buying an entire office suite for your home (or following Bob Vila – from the vintage series “This Old House” and his suggestions), there are ways to help your back after slouching on the couch right away.

  1. Every twenty minutes to a half hour, take a break. Stand up. Walk around. Even march in place. Take a drink of water – that may not be for your back, but it is good for your general health and well-being.
head rolls to help your back after slouching on the couch
  1. Every hour or so, shrug your shoulders and roll them. Exaggerate the motion so that you feel it. If you can do it without your neck screaming at you, roll your head gently from side to side, up and down, and around. 
  1. Suck in your stomach as you sit up straight. All the time. It really does help to strengthen your core and your back.
  1. Your next break, sit up straight, suck your stomach in and hold your arms straight out to the side. Your core has to work that much harder to keep you upright.
  1. The break after that, stand up straight then roll down to reach toward your toes. It’s OK if you can’t reach them. Make sure you’re holding your stomach in for this entire exercise. Hold for just a few seconds then slowly roll up. One vertebra at a time. Breathe in as you roll up – if you’re prone to dizziness that will help. Stomach still sucked in? Good. Now breathe out and breathe in again. 

Go back to work.

Sleep much?

Me neither. And we’re not alone. Insomnia is not uncommon, and the pandemic has made it worse.

Sleeplessness is not uncommon. Destress with this sunset.
Natural light can help sleep.

Our lives have been disrupted. If you worked at an office, chances are you’ve been working from home more. If you care for children, chances are they’ve been doing quite a bit of learning remotely. If you used to go to a gym or health club, chances are they’ve been closed. Restaurants have been closed too, so you may be cooking more. You have a different schedule than you used to. Being stuck inside could mean that you haven’t been exposed to as much natural light as you used to. You may be napping more, which also disrupts your natural circadian rhythm.

Stress also can cause sleeplessness

During normal times we have stress in our lives. And now, even a year after the pandemic began, stress is still with us. We still don’t know exactly what causes the infection, why it affects some people more than others. And while vaccines have been approved, they are  not available for much of the population yet. So we’re stressed about catching the coronavirus and spreading it to others. We’re worried about that. We’re worried about the economy. And we toss and turn and lose sleep.

Isolation

Without contact with our friends, family and coworkers, we feel isolated and alone, leading to depression and sleeplessness again. Virtual conferencing is great and better than no contact, but it’s not the same as being in the same room.

Blue light

And we’re probably on our screens more. We’re home, perhaps bored, so we scroll. The blue light from the screens also disrupts production of melatonin, which regulates normal sleep patterns.

Sleep is still important

Even though we may not be going out of the house and seeing people, we still need a good night’s sleep. We think better with seven or eight hours of sleep. Our bodies function better when we sleep. Sleep can reduce the effects of certain mental health conditions like anxiety disorder and bipolar disorder.

How to get a good night’s sleep

So, how do we get that full complement of sleep?

First, maintain a schedule for your day. Humans love routine. It’s comforting to us. So set your routine and stick to it. The same bedtime and awakening time is helpful. Eating meals at the same time every day can also set your biological clock.

Use your bed for sleep. Don’t read in bed and don’t watch TV in bed. Certainly don’t scroll social media in bed. In fact, experts recommend that you shut your screens down an hour before bedtime. And make your bed as appealing as possible. Fresh linens regularly creates an inviting place for sleep. A cool bedroom also is helpful for sleep.

If you’re sensitive to extraneous noises, a fan or white noise machine is also helpful. I have tinnitus and use both.

Spend some time outside in the light and in fresh air. Getting as much natural light helps your body’s natural rhythm. And moving your body during the day is important for overall health, including good sleep. Good nutrition also will benefit your health and promote better sleep. 

If you’re tempted to take a nap during the day, try to limit it to 20 minutes or so. Any more than that may disrupt your nighttime sleep.

While it may not seem that it would do much for your sleep pattern, being kind and generous may counter your feelings of anxiety and help you to sleep. Other relaxation techniques like meditation can help too. If you’d like to try meditation but don’t know where to start, short guided meditations are great starting places. Sign up for a guided Garden Meditation here.

So, know that you’re not alone in your sleeplessness. Also know that there are things you can do to improve it. Get some natural light, move your body, turn on your fan, turn off your screens and perhaps go for a brief but peaceful virtual walk in a garden.