Lifestyle Archives - Fran's Fitness Over 50

Grateful for everything

Does anyone understand how time works? One minute I’m not making resolutions for the New Year, and the next we’re roasting the Thanksgiving turkey. How does that happen? Anyway. It’s that time of year when everyone shares with the people around the table what they’re grateful for. I’m grateful for everything.

Gratitude brings resilience

This year has been tough, but we’ve proven that we’re tougher. We’ve shown resilience in the face of numerous obstacles, and grown stronger as a result. We’ve shown the world that even when things don’t go our way, we can still hold our heads high and be grateful that we’ll have another opportunity to show our stuff. We can be grateful for everything we’ve got, even when that’s not much.

What I’m grateful for

My old dogs are still around. The 15-year-old wanders around and messes in the house more, but he’s still mostly healthy (knock on wood). Booker (pictured) is 12, and he’s very special too. I’m grateful for having the ability to move my body pretty much how I want when I want. I’m grateful to be able to get up from the floor. I’m also grateful for my senses. I can experience all the wonders around me.

What does being grateful for everything bring?

Okay. enough about me. Showing gratitude every day brings optimism and joy, essential for your healthy aging. And expressing it will make you feel even better. You would think that it would work the other way – that the person who you’re expressing gratitude to would feel the joy, but it’s you. When you express your thanks, you’re acknowledging that someone else thought about you. Someone wanted to make things a little easier for you. And knowing that will give you what I call the “warm fuzzies.” That feeling will last for far longer than the moment it takes you to express your gratitude.

You don’t have to express your thanks out loud. A note will work. And if it’s not a person you’re grateful to, writing in a Gratitude Journal works, too. It’s also a wonder to look back on and rediscover the feelings.

I have a lot of people to thank. I’ll get started now.

Time or Money: The price of a holiday

I’ve said “Everything in moderation” frequently. And it’s the watchword I live by. I never say “No” to dessert. If I want potatoes, I’ll plop a spoonful on my plate. Having lost a lot of weight years ago and kept it off, I always watch what I eat and try to eat a nutritious diet every day. Except for Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving is the one day all the eating rules fly out the window. Thanksgiving is the day when more is better. As long as it’s really good food. But, what’s the price of all that really good food? What is the price of a holiday?

What’s being counted?

The price depends on what we’re counting. If it’s calories, to me Thanksgiving is worth it. It’s the one day a year we celebrate what we have. If I want to celebrate with chocolate pecan pie, I’m making it! Or we could be counting the cost of the meal. Again, to me, Thanksgiving is not the day to be pinching pennies. And then time might be an issue. It takes a while to prepare all that yummy goodness. As my sister and I enjoy cooking together and don’t usually have other guests on Thanksgiving, we’re making the most of our time.

Time is more than the cost for some

But not everybody has the luxury of being with family and guests while cooking. It’s no fun being away in the kitchen while everyone else is sharing stories and experiences in another room. In fact, in an article I read, one dietitian opts for a store-bought Thanksgiving dinner instead of preparing it herself. This is despite the added calories, sugar and salt she knows the prepared dinner has.

But, are you concerned about eating healthy?

On yet another hand, if, for health reasons, the holiday is less important than sticking with your meal plan, then you may choose to forego the traditional dinner and choose a healthier option. There’s certainly nothing wrong with a delicious roasted chicken or turkey with fresh vegetables for side dishes rather than stuffing and mashed potatoes.

Thanksgiving is about trade-offs. What’s important to you may not be the thing that’s most important to someone else. I enjoy preparing the meal, perhaps it’s because I’m with the important people in my life. To others, the meal is less important than the company. So the food may not be as high in quality as it might be if it were home-made. But being with good company boosts our resilience.

So, prioritize the things that are important to you. Be with your friends and family. Be healthy. Or enjoy the process and then the meal itself. The price of a holiday is what you put on it, in the end.

When your state of mind makes it impossible to get stuff done

Some days, no matter what you do, you still feel like it’s impossible to get stuff done. I get it. You used to feel like you were invincible. And you felt like your resilience knew no bounds. But some days, when the world beats at you from every direction, you feel like you just want to curl into a little ball and hibernate for the foreseeable future. But even though it feels like it’s impossible, there’s still stuff that needs to get done.

So, how do you go about doing it?

When not even looking at your Get Stuff Done Funtime Menu helps you get past the whirlwind in your brain, how can you even start?

First, center yourself. If my brain is whirling when I have to get stuff done, I know it’s just a waste of time. I can’t help my brain from whirling, but I can shift gears and give it a mental shove to focus on something else. Psychologist Lauren Kerwin, PhD, recommends practicing mindfulness for one minute every day on each of your senses:

One minute on something you can see: your dog, a bird outside the window, the color of your floor tiles.
Something you can touch: a blanket, the water running through your fingers.
Then on something you can smell: tea, essential oil, laundry detergent on your shirt.
And something you can hear: the hum of the air conditioner, a car driving by.
Finally something you can taste: toothpaste, food you’re eating.

This practice grounds you in the physical world and helps your brain move past the tornado.

But how can you get stuff done even after you’re grounded?

Chances are, even after you’ve done the exercises to ground yourself, you’re still feeling pretty shaky. I know I feel vulnerable after this, and not ready to start to get stuff done. When you’re feeling less like there’s a tornado in your head, but it’s still impossible to get stuff done, how do you even start?

Just start

Do something. Take one step. Make it a small step. A very tiny step. And then another. Then another. The idea here is to reach a point where you can take action. Because starting small is still starting. If you can only do five minutes of work – whatever the work may be, it’s still five minutes you couldn’t have done before. It’s a start.

And tomorrow you can do more. You’ve proven your resilience before.

5 Ways to Create a Positive Mindset

It’s tough these days. The world seems to be getting smaller and more nervous all at the same time. With instant access to so many media sources, it’s easy to become overwhelmed. And this week has brought it all to the fore. My brain has been churning so much that I’ve had to completely check out a few times to not break down completely. And checking out – turning everything off – is one way to create a positive mindset (see below).

Why does a positive mindset matter? If you believe that things are dark, you’ll never see the light again, and you’ll never be able to do anything about it, then you won’t. You’ll be stuck in that dark place because you believe it. On the other hand, if you completely believe that something is possible, you’ll make it happen. An article in the Journal of Neurochemistry indicates that our brains adapt to changes in its environment. It’s not as simple as affirming that everything is okay, but our brains are quite malleable. And we can make that positive change happen. You’ll be happier, more productive and more resilient. Here are some ways to create a positive mindset and let ourselves get things done.

Stop doomscrolling

I found myself getting more and more depressed with each post I read the other day. I had to consciously turn my phone off to get out of that spiral. So, when things get to be too much, just turn your screens off. It can be for five minutes or five hours. Take the time you need.

Sleep

Make sure you get enough sleep. Being tired affects your mood, your productivity and your health. Stick to a consistent sleep routine. It helps.

Get one thing done

Set your priorities for the day, making sure that you choose a few intermediate steps toward your goals. You’ve developed these in the worksheet included in the Get It Done Guide. And get one thing done. Just one little thing checked off can really improve your mood. It’s so satisfying.

Exercise

I’ve said it before – those endorphins from intense exercise are real. I feel a bazillion times better after a workout. After a tough exercise session, I’m a much nicer person.

Meditate

It’s not woowoo. It really does help to center you and help your mind stop churning. A short guided meditation (download one for under a dollar here) can clear your brain and help you become more productive.

Use any or all of these techniques to create a positive mindset. They work for me.

Get Stuff Done Funtime Menu

One from Column A on your Get Stuff Done Funtime Menu to get your motivation going.

My sister and I are in the midst of switching our ecommerce platform and the stress from that, along with everything else, is taking its toll. Google has lost our online shop while we’re switching, so sales are nonexistent. Tango, my geriatric dog, hasn’t been well the last couple of days as I’m writing this. The tire pressure light in my car came on when I was on my way to a client. My motivation has fossilized. I can’t get anything done because I’m so stressed.

And then I remembered an article about the Dopamine Menu. Create a menu of courses of things that make you feel better. Do a little one – that’s the “choose one from Column A” like on a Chinese restaurant menu – and you’ll get the boost to get your motivation going. I like to call it my Get Stuff Done Funtime Menu. Weird name, right? But it perfectly describes what it’s used for. When your motivation has gone, pick up your Menu and choose something to just get something done.

There’s so much to do, but I don’t feel like doing anything. I’m scared to get it wrong. I’m scared to interfere with something that needs to happen on its own. My bank balance is diminishing. But life goes on. And I know that better days are on the horizon. I just have to get there. But how?

Enter the Get Stuff Done Funtime Menu. Because, no matter how much you want to get stuff done, if you’re paralyzed with fear, it’s not going to happen. Here’s how to unparalyze yourself.

Create your Menu

I encourage you to create your Get Stuff Done Funtime Menu when you’re not feeling stressed. You won’t be creative, you won’t think of a thing to put on your menu. So start this project when you’re calm and have about twenty minutes. Things to keep in mind: none of us has unlimited time. That’s why we create 3 columns. The Appetizer, The Main Dish, and Dessert. Yes, dessert. We deserve it. And when you don’t feel like doing anything, check your Get Stuff Done Funtime Menu – especially Dessert, knowing that if you’re serious and do Get Stuff Done, a reward awaits!

So get your completed worksheets from your Get It Done Guide and get to work. You’ve filled out a worksheet for each of your goals, and you’ll want to put items from all of your worksheets in your Menu.

The Appetizer

Each entry in your Appetizer column should take no more than 10 – 15 minutes to complete. Sorting the mail or cleaning out your sock drawer, as examples. Or for me, as an example from this morning, changing the code to the Packing Slip template on our new ecommerce platform. This should be something that doesn’t take long but ticks one little thing off the list. Don’t have a list? Check your Get Stuff Done worksheet for a small Intermediate step toward one of your goals.

Your Main Dish

Go for a walk and get some fresh air when you're feeling paralyzed.

As the name implies, the Main Dish column on your Get Stuff Done Funtime Menu should be more meaty. It could take a few hours. Again, check your worksheet for a bigger Intermediate Step toward a Big Goal. So, in my example, setting up the Rewards application on our new ecommerce site could fit the bill as a Main Dish.

Or, if you know you need to exercise but really can’t face changing for a full exercise session, call a friend and go for a walk. The fresh air will revitalize you. You’ll be in a better frame of mind when you’re done too.

Dessert

The reward for a job well done! But be careful here – don’t blow the budget or the calorie reserve. Keep the size of the task in mind when you choose a dessert – they should be in line. And your Dessert can be used as incentive for actually getting stuff done!

And when you actually do accomplish something, your mindset will be more positive. That leads to more resilience. And you’ll be happier.

Try the Winter Arc challenge for focus on health and well-being

Days are really getting short now. I wake up in the dark, and it’s dark again by suppertime. It’s easy to say, “Why bother?” and go eat that lasagna. The whole pan of lasagna. It’s the lull before the holiday storm, when candy goes on sale but before the big Thanksgiving push is on when all the recipes you see are for “healthy sides.” If this sounds all too familiar, you can join me in hopping on the newest trend – the “Winter Arc” challenge. Use these cold, dark months to refocus on health and well-being.

Focus on health and well-being

I know I need the Winter Arc challenge. My sister and I are transitioning our website to a more modern ecommerce platform. We got our domain name 20 – yes, twenty! – years ago and it’s not transferring smoothly. The company we purchased the name from was acquired and merged several times, and settings changed without our permission or knowledge and it, just, not good. So I need to refocus on my well-being.

What’s needed for calm?

First, I have to figure out exactly what I need to do to feel calmer and more centered. I’m not missing too many workout sessions, so that’s good. My nutrition is the same as always. My diet is completely boring. I eat the same things almost every day, with some variations for dinner. Don’t follow my lead on that, because you don’t want to be boring. For me, it’s easy. It tastes good and is nutritious. But I completely advocate adding variety.

Meditation for mindset

So, what’s left? Mindset. I said a few months ago that I was going to add more meditation breaks to my day. And did I? No, sadly. So to refocus on health and well-being, I’m committing to more meditation. I’m getting out my Get It Done worksheet, creating my goal and scheduling meditation breaks on my calendar. And this will be one of my non-negotiable tasks each day. My meditation breaks won’t be long – no more than 5 minutes at a time.

A positive mindset, which is impossible when you’re under stressed, has been shown to improve health on its own. And positivity and optimism adds to our resilience.

So I’ll schedule my meditation breaks – mostly I’ll close my eyes and listen to a short guided meditation. And in a couple of weeks, I’ll reassess and figure out if this has helped to refocus health and well-being.

Do it for your future self

This is for whatever it is you don’t want to do today. Don’t want to exercise? You don’t want to eat nutritious food? Or you don’t want to work on that project you’ve been putting off? I get it. Some days it’s all too tempting to stay under the covers, eat chocolate and chips and binge Emily in Paris or whatever show you’re into. But think about how you’ll feel tomorrow. And all the tomorrows after that if you don’t show up for yourself. It’s easier to not do the things. But those things will stay the way they are. You’re not going to get the benefits from exercise. Your body will not get the vitamins and minerals from the healthy food. And you’ll still have that project hanging over your head. Do it for your future self.

How your future self will feel

Think about how you want to feel in the future. For me, I want to feel no pain, or at least less pain. Also, to be able to stand tall and not hunched or with rounded shoulders will be good. I’d like my legs to be able to hold me up, and my core to be strong and stable to share the load. I want to breathe freely and not get winded when I walk. Does this sound good to you? For our healthy aging, this doesn’t seem to be an outrageous goal.

The food we eat is reflected on the outside

What goes into our bodies should be good for the outside as well. The food we consume has an affect on our bodies – inside and out. Our skin reflects the good nutrition that goes in. We feel better when we eat nutritious food. Of course, I’m not going to say no to a piece of good chocolate, but on the whole I try to maintain a healthy diet.

Working toward a goal keeps us resilient

When we work toward a goal, even just for a little bit every day, we’re being optimistic for the future. We’re happy when we have an objective. And creating achievable goals keeps us focused on that future. We want something to have happened to make a better future for ourselves. That’s what goal-making is about. And if you’ve set goals in the past but not achieved them, then download the Get It Done G u ide. It’ll help. Seriously.

So keep on working toward goals. Exercise regularly. And eat good food. It will show in your future self.

Get uncomfortable to get motivated

Discomfort is only uncomfortable until it becomes comfortable. Get uncomfortable.

Get uncomfortable to achieve your goals

And that’s another way of saying that you should get uncomfortable so that you can achieve your goals. Discomfort happens when you reach for something that’s beyond your grasp now. Like running. When you start running, even after warming up with some stretches and walking, it feels odd and uncomfortable. But when you keep on doing it, even during the same session, running becomes more comfortable. You get used to the motion. The first few times the motion may not seem completely natural (for me, it’s still not natural), but it’s not as uncomfortable any longer.

Embrace discomfort to grow

Some athletes embrace the pain they feel when training, so that they can move past it and improve. I don’t relish pain of any sort. The most I want to feel in my workout is discomfort, and even that is a stretch. But the idea is the same. In order to grow in any endeavor, many feel that it’s necessary to challenge yourself. The challenge can then lead to increased motivation to succeed. In fact, Stanford professor Carol Dweck in her book Mindset: The New Psychology of Success, reveals that students with a growth mindset, that is the belief that they can grow and develop, outperformed their peers with a fixed mindset.

Challenge yourself and succeed

It’s not just in learning more that we succeed by challenging ourselves. In the running example, we can grow – that is, run faster and longer – by pushing ourselves a little more each time we run. That is, get uncomfortable a little more. At the end of a few sessions, that little push becomes more comfortable, almost natural, and then we can push even more. Challenge ourselves a little more. This starts with a single push of the up button. When I’m at the maximum speed I did last time and it doesn’t feel too bad, I just push the increase speed button one time. Increase my speed by just one tenth of a mile per hour. Not too bad. Not even too noticeable, in fact. And I don’t sustain that for long – just a minute, maybe less.

I’ll keep the same maximum speed for a few days until the increase is indiscernible. And then I’ll do it again. It does help to journal my workout – my average speed, maximum speed, how it felt, when I feel I can push it again. If you just want the bare bones of a workout tracker, download the Basic Workout Tracker today. If you want more, check out the Fitness Journal and Tracker which has pages for nutrition and, my favorite, goal planning and tracking!

Challenge yourself more to achieve more

So, get uncomfortable. And soon the concept of pushing beyond boundaries becomes the norm. Then you can push more. Challenge yourself more. You’ll be amazed at what you can achieve. It doesn’t happen overnight. But it will happen. You’ll become more resilient. When things in your life go sideways, you’ll think, I’ve achieved so much, I can push through this. And your resilience will make you more optimistic and ultimately happier, which means good things for your healthy aging.

Get uncomfortable. And you’ll go far.

Dive deep into the cause behind your lack of motivation.

We’ve all been there. “Just not feeling it.” It seems like your lack of motivation is chronic. You wake up thinking, “Today’s the day! I’ll work out. And I’ll eat right! It’ll be great!” And then you sit down and … nothing. Or you promise yourself that today’s the day you start writing. You know you have a book in you and it’s going to start emerging today. But from one day to the next your motivation seems to be nonexistent. You have no energy for the goal you thought you wanted. You’re doubting your ability to do it. And you ask yourself, “Why? Why can’t I get it done?” It’s time to dive deeper into the cause behind your lack of motivation. Try to figure out what’s causing you to lose motivation.

Bored? Stressed? Overwhelmed?

According to Betterhelp.com, “boredom, stress, burnout, feeling overwhelmed, and a lack of clear goals can lead many people to a lack of motivation. Setting small, achievable goals, practicing self-care, changing your environment, and turning to others for inspiration can be helpful in regaining motivation.”

So, if you’re bored and stuck in a routine that no longer inspires you, it may be time to do something a little different. Shake up your routine and start your day differently. For example, if you’re like me and eat the same thing for breakfast every day (OJ, coffee, chopped tomato and hard boiled egg), have something different. (Today I had cottage cheese instead of an egg. Yay for me!) Just a little change can affect you in a big way.

Give yourself a break

If you’re feeling burned out, it’s understandable. These days we’re all feeling overwhelmed and stressed by politics, the economy, and in some places the weather. Take a step back and do something good for yourself. Turn off your screens for a while and give yourself a break. Read a few chapters in a book – and not on an ereader. Go exercise.

Can’t focus? Maybe you need clarity

If you can’t seem to focus, or what you actually do is underwhelming and uninspired, it could be that your goal is unfocused. Assess your goal. Make sure that it’s specific enough. That you can quantify the end result. Go back to your goal creation worksheet in your Get It Done Guide and follow the steps precisely. You’ll end up with a goal that’s achievable. (Download this worksheet today if you don’t already have it and get started on planning your goals.)

And when you have an achievable goal, your lack of motivation will disappear. You will wake up energized and ready to work on your goal. You’ll have created actionable steps that are easy for you to follow and you’ll see results.

How to Not Stagnate

I love to read. No surprise there, right? I was a bookworm growing up (in fact my favorite bookmark is a pink plastic worm that clips over the page!). If you needed me, just look in my room and I’d be reading a book. And now, there’s nothing I love more than setting aside a few minutes (okay, an hour) and delving into the current book on my nightstand. And that’s fine – to take a little while for your favorite hobby for a break. It’s sure tempting to read good books all day long, but that’s not how you get things done. That’s not growing, it’s standing still. Here’s how to not stagnate.

Ground your emotions every day

When you want to be your most productive self, the last thing you want is for your thougths to wander in a million directions. It’s easy for that to happen, with today’s focus on screens and newsfeeds. But to be productive and not stagnate, you need a clear mind in order to focus. My mind has a tendency to wander, so I just close my eyes and pull my thoughts in. I focus on a single thought. I take time when I get up in the morning to wash, take the dogs out, and give all of us breakfast before I turn on a single screen or check any email account. And, yes, I do read a few pages in my book at breakfast.

Daily discipline

Clinical psychologist Tricia Wolanin, PsyD, agrees that a daily discipline can help you focus for the rest of the day. She also recommends starting your day with intention, asking how you want to feel and what you want to accomplish that day. Setting that intention will also keep you going – and growing.

Set one small goal for the day

When I get to work, I make my list for the day, and at the top is one small thing I want to get done today, like check for orders on the site, or file the invoices from last week. I focus on that one thing, do it and feel accomplished. Then I’m ready to tackle some more meaty tasks. I recently wrote that we should write what we want to do. I take something from that list, and the steps that I think I can accomplish today, and write that on today’s list. And that keeps you going, and growing, and also helps you to not stagnate. Just because we’re getting older does not mean that we should cultivate moss on us. We’re growing, we’re resilient, and we’re all in for our healthy aging, too.