happiness Archives - Fran's Fitness Over 50

Discipline is mindset

People say I have tremendous discipline. Not to toot my own horn, but I moderate my portions – even spaghetti. Exercise 4 or 5 times a week. Wrote and published 3 books in my spare time. And I usually don’t get sucked in by the usual clickbait. How? Discipline. Discipline is mindset. It’s hard – kind of like putting on jeans fresh out of the dryer. Sitting is awkward, and you may not be able to do the button. But if it’s important enough, and the steps toward that ultimate goal are small enough, it happens without you even realizing it.

The benefits that come with discipline

Discipline comes with its own set of benefits, not least of which is achieving goals. But you’ll also be improving your resilience – knowing that life takes potshots at us, trying to throw us off our game. But with discipline, we get right back to the task at hand. And with the discipline of creating good habits, we’re influencing our healthy aging. When you’re disciplined, you’re happier too. You know that you’re doing what it takes to get to where you want to be.

We’re wired to be couch potatoes, though

So, how do you make discipline easy? First, recognize that our brains are wired for us to be couch potatoes. There’s nothing we all like more than bingeing our current Netflix series. Our tendency is to conserve energy. But we know that the science is just the opposite. Expending energy produces more energy.

Second, we expect that our motivation will kick in at some point and magically lift us off the couch. It doesn’t work that way, unfortunately. If we want the results of exercise, we have to do it ourselves. Getting strong takes work. And no one is going to do it for us.

It’s hard and the writing was trash…

Third, you probably have the belief that if you’re disciplined, it will feel like everything in your brain will click into place. Again, not how it works. When I was working on my second novel, it was a struggle to get up early and write the hundreds of words I set as my goal. Some days it didn’t happen because the words were trash. But when you have something really important at the back of your brain that you want to achieve, you do the work. Toward the end of that book, the writing did get easier and I was able to finish – and some say this book was even better than the first novel.

Everything all at once is a recipe for disaster

And fourth, when you’re trying to be more disciplined, you’re probably trying to do everything all at once. Again, that’s just setting yourself up for failure. Discipline is mindset, but it only works when you take small steps. Train your brain to take those small steps every day. Because they lead up to the big ones.

Change the narrative

My new watchword is to do something every day that makes you happy. I don’t like to feel sorry for myself. But my birthday’s on a Tuesday this year – the busiest day of the week for me, when I don’t get home until about 9:30 in the evening after teaching a dog class and then training my own dog. I enjoy relaxing in the evening, so Tuesday is not my favorite day of the week. But instead of telling myself that it’s a bummer that my birthday is on a Tuesday, I’ll change the narrative and tell myself that every moment is an opportunity to look back and enjoy my life.

Where’s my happy place?

Now, I have it pretty good in life. Yes, there are some concerns, but (knock on wood) I’m amazingly healthy overall, we have food on the table and a roof over our heads. My dogs are thriving (also knock on wood because 2 are elderly) and I enjoy training them. But for this birthday I’m feeling low, and reminding myself of how grateful I am for everything I have is not helping. So I have to go back and remind myself of an article I wrote a while ago. You only need one thing to enter your happy place: a mindset shift.

Mindset influences actions

I’ve noticed that my mindset influences my actions. If I’m feeling low, my sister starts asking me if everything is okay, which annoys me and worsens my mood. So, when she starts asking, I know it’s time for me to take a look inside. Dr. Jacob Towery, adjunct clinical instructor in the department of psychiatry at Stanford University, says that our mind influences our actions. And that mindset is malleable and can be changed.

Dr. Towery assures, “the good news is mindsets are highly changeable, and if you are willing to learn the technology of changing your mindset and defeating your distorted thoughts, you can have significantly more happiness.”

Change your mindset, change your life

The key to changing your mindset is to question your thoughts that are self-defeating and work on creating new narratives that are more self-serving. That positive mindset goes a long way toward building your resilience.

So, on my birthday I’ll change the narrative and view every moment of that Tuesday as an opportunity to smile and say, “Thank you” when someone wishes me a Happy Birthday. And I’ll work on enjoying that.

Change your mindset, change your life

What is happiness? To be deeply happy, do you need to achieve great successes? Reach great heights? Be thin, rich and have lots of friends? Like fitness, happiness is different for everyone. One psychologist seems to consider happiness as transitory, and that we should seek a life of fulfillment. By achieving that fulfillment, Robert Puff, PhD, we can build lasting emotional well-being. And Dr. Puff sees the path of fulfillment as being possible for everyone, not just the few lucky ones. Our brains are malleable. We can shape our destiny. Change your mindset, change your life. Changes are possible.

The key to being happy is in your brain. And Dr. Puff sees four practical challenges you can set yourself as ways to change your brain to be happy.

Observe

The first challenge is to just observe your thoughts. No judgment here. Just observation. Your thoughts are not good or bad. They just are. Acknowledge your thoughts but don’t react.

Change the negative

Are you having negative thoughts? Are your ideas constructive? Whenever I catch myself circling down that negative thought spiral, whether it’s from scrolling through my social media feeds or listening to the news, I stop that. I consciously try to shift my thoughts away from the negativity. If there are questions about the topic, I try to learn more, listen to the entire news story. Then I acknowledge that it’s bad news.

Is it true? I’ll try to confirm with another source. Because, especially these days, not all stories we see and hear are true. Can I do something about it? No? Then I think about the pretty pink petunias in the flower box at my neighbor’s house.

Positive visualization

Visualize yourself working on and achieving your goals.

Dr. Puff recommends that we “regularly take time to vividly imagine your desired outcomes and feelings.” It doesn’t have to be for an extended period. For a few seconds, see yourself successfully working on one of your goals. Really picture yourself performing the actions. You’re rewiring your brain here. You see success and your brain releases happiness.

Cultivate gratitude

And finally, Dr. Puff says we all need to cultivate a sense of gratitude. Every day, create a short list of things we’re grateful for in our lives. This shifts your brain from what’s lacking to what’s abundant.

With these 4 challenges, you’ll change your brain. Keep on doing them, you’ll certainly be more content. And you’ll be more likely to follow through on achieving your goals. When you’re optimistic, you want to continue to be happy. You’ll see the way to be happy in the future is by working on the goals you set for yourself and achieving success. So, when you change your mindset, you change your life.

Mental health awareness month

May is Mental Health Awareness Month. I think every month should be that, because if there’s one thing we all need to safeguard these days, it’s our mental health. The World Health Organization defines mental health as “a state of mental well-being that enables people to cope with the stresses of life, realize their abilities, learn well and work well, and contribute to their community.” What does that mean for our everyday lives? When we’re mentally healthy, I believe, we have a positive outlook, are productive at work and at home, and interact with others in a positive way.

Mental health awareness to start the day

That’s not to say that we wake up every day with a smile on our face. Far from it. There are stresses galore in today’s world, so taking care of our own mental health has to start early in the day. For me, it’s waking up in a panic, thinking about everything I have to do that I didn’t get done yesterday, taking a few deep breaths as I make my way to the bathroom, and drinking a glass of water. Then I try to smile at my dogs as I take them outside for their first time of the morning – not only reinforcing the positivity, but also setting the tone for the rest of the day.

A smile turns your mood around

When you smile, it actually does help your positivity. The NIH published a study a few years ago indicating that smiling releases dopamine right into your brain. You feel a reward for smiling. If that’s not instant gratification, I don’t know what is. And with that shot of dopamine, your optimism rises and so does your resilience.

Physical and mental health are intertwined

I’ve written about how to turn your mindset around. And it’s really common sense stuff. Make sure you get enough sleep, eat healthy foods, and exercise. All of this helps you be aware of and to protect your mental health. Yes, these are things we do to care for our physical health, but our physical and mental health are intertwined. They can’t be separated. When our bodies are strong, that’s usually a sign that our minds are strong as well.

So, prioritizing our mental health is crucial. Check in with yourself. Take time for you. Even a couple of minutes to clear your mind can be like a mini-vacation. Take a walk outside. Get together with friends. Make mental health awareness part of every day.

Find comfort in routine

Everyone seems to be stressed these days. Yes, it seems like I write that every other week. But the times are turbulent and it’s hard to know what will be coming at us next. The weather is crazy, the political climate is even crazier, and then the economy is in turmoil. It’s one blow after another. My head is spinning. If you’re like me, know that you can find comfort in routine.

Routines can improve your health

Northwestern Medicine says, “By providing structure and organization, routines can improve your health in various ways.” Routine can help you manage stress, which is beneficial for our mental health. When you know something will be stable, it puts your mind at ease and boost your resilience.

Experts recommend routines for bedtime and sleep. By having a bedtime routine and getting quality sleep, our mental sharpness improves, as does our emotional well-being and energy. When I get my full seven hours, I do feel much more aware, and have more energy.

Healthy eating can be routine

Northwestern’s experts also recommend a healthy eating routine. Preparing menus and shopping at a set time every week ensures that you’re considering your nutrition. Most weeks I shop on Monday afternoons, which is not when the store’s stocks are freshest, but it’s convenient for me. There’s still plenty of great-looking fresh produce to choose.

There’s even comfort in an exercise routine

And, of course, the experts advocate an exercise routine. Staying active, as we know, is essential for our healthy aging. And, as I’ve recommended as well, scheduling your exercise helps you maintain that routine.

But don’t get too set in your ways

But we don’t want to stagnate, either. I’ve talked about goal-setting the last few weeks. We want our routines, but it’s also necessary to grow. So, think about what you want out of life. What’s missing that you want? And add that in slowly. Adding something to your routine is a great way to build healthy habits.

One thing I’ve added to my routine is meditation because it helps me settle my brain. When my thoughts start spiralling or I find myself scrolling depressing news feeds, I take a couple of minutes and clear my head. It makes me more productive and better able to handle the news coming at me. Sometimes I need a guided meditation if I can’t clear my thoughts by myself. And that’s okay.

If you don’t like your daily routine, figure out why and change it. You should find comfort in routine, not distress.

Make it fun and it will get done

My new watchword. If you can figure out a way to have fun doing something, it’s more likely to get done. I practice this a few times a week with my fitness routine. I make it fun and it will get done. Like running. To me, running is not fun. Granted, I’m more accepting now than I was a couple of years ago, because I’ve been doing it for a couple of years. But it’s still not fun. Running is hard and it’s not fun.

It’s not fun, so why do it?

So why do it? Because listening to a really good book while I’m doing it is fun. I’m on the second book of a really good fantasy trilogy now, and I actually found myself thinking on a usually non-running day whether I could get on the treadmill so I could listen some more. (I could have, but didn’t.)

The Fun Theory

In a post on The Resilience Centre’s blog, clinical psychologist Gabriel Wong advocates making things fun so they get done. The Fun Theory was initiated by Volkswagen a number of years ago, saying that people are more motivated to do things when they’re fun.

Examples like taking the stairs by making a flight of stairs like a piano keyboard, or promoting seat belt use by making entertainment available to passengers when the belt was fastened are popular examples. I particularly like the garbage can painted as “The World’s Deepest Bin” to promote throwing trash away. And the theory seems to work.

People took the piano stairs more than the regular stairs. Kids fastened their seat belts to watch the videos. And lots more trash was thrown in the “Deepest Bin” than a plain one next to it.

What about mundane tasks?

That’s great for odd, random things that you might want people to do. But what about normal, everyday stuff that has to get done. How can we make that fun? How can we get motivated to get all the mundane stuff done.

Confetti?

That’s where our Funtime Menu comes in. There are some things that are just not going to be fun. Like taxes. But online tax preparers figure out a way to gamify the process and give users a little shot of dopamine when they complete a section. You may get a green check mark and a celebratory confetti screen. We can do the same thing.

Put 15 minutes on a timer and work on a distasteful item on your never-ending To Do List. Just 15 minutes. Like cleaning out a closet. When the timer goes off and you hear that “Ding!” don’t you get a little rush? I do. Now you can do a little appetizer on your Funtime Menu. Dance to one of your favorite tunes. Go outside for a few minutes and enjoy some fresh air. Get a drink of water.

Make it fun and it will get done

You may think that 15 minutes is hardly any time. The closet will never get cleaned out in just 15 minutes. But you can make incredible things happen in just 15 minutes a day. And then when that closet is cleaned and organized, you can claim an entree from your Funtime Menu! Being able to check something off that list does wonders for our optimism. And when we’re happy, we’re more resilient. And when our spirit is strong and resilient, our bodies tend to be as well.

So, while I didn’t get to listen to more of my book on a non-running day, I know that I’ll be able to listen more in a couple of days. Remember to make it fun and it will get done. No matter what “it” is.

Why set goals?

At this point in our lives, we’ve probably reached the point where we know pretty much how our day will unfold. We all have routines. We like routine. There aren’t many people in the world who thrive on chaos. Of course, there are some, but the majority of people find comfort in knowing how their days will progress. If that’s the case, then, why set goals at all? If we’re happy in a rut, why not just stay in that rut? Do the same things day in and day out. I certainly love my own rut, but I’m constantly setting goals, wanting to improve, grow stronger, and share my message with more people.

Last week, my topic was about goals needing specificity to be achievable, and cited a study about goal-setting among seniors. The study found that most of us do, in fact, set goals of all sorts. Some are lifestyle goals, others are fitness goals, and others relate to social connections.

Why do we set goals?

An easy answer could be that, for those who don’t have pets or jobs, our goals are our reasons to get up in the morning. Goals give us purpose and optimism. I have dogs who make me get up in the morning. But I have goals involving my dogs, too. Goals help us be resilient. Because if we’re looking to the future, then we’re assured to have a future. And that goes hand-in-hand with healthy aging. In order to be there for our future, we need to be healthy. With no goals, we’re just sitting there and letting the world go by, not being a part of it. And, even worse, it won’t be status quo for us.

Use it or lose it

Unfortunately that old saying is true. If we don’t use what we’ve got then we run the risk of losing it. Our balance is a good example. It’s been shown that as we age, our balance deteriorates unles we actively work to maintain or improve it. That’s what the private Facebook group, Balance for Fitness Balance for Life is all about. Trying to help people improve their balance.

We should set goals for things that are important to us. We could set goals for anything we think of. For example, I could set the goal to learn how to make noodles. The problem with that, though, is that I already like lots of noodles that are easily available at reasonable prices. So I have absolutely no interest in achieving that particular goal.

On the other hand, I have set the goal to run twice a week for 20 minutes. Why? I want to stay fit and mobile, and independent.

Why set goals? Existentially speaking, setting goals are for happiness and independence.

Be specific, but not too specific

The first quarter of the year is mostly done. It’s true – time flies! Time to take stock, reassess and reimagine your future. The first step is to look at the goals you set for yourself at the end of last year. Are they still working for you? I’m kind of stuck. I set a pretty ambitious fitness goal of running at 7.5 mph at 2.5 percent incline for a full 2 minutes. I’m not there yet. I can do one minute and that’s about it. The rule is to be specific, but not too specific, with your goals. And I think that’s where I’m falling short.

The Goal-Setting Process

First off, we’re old. Why even bother with setting goals? According to a study that included people over 65 in English-speaking countries, goal-setting is quite common. The topics of goals that people set were wide-ranging – and included health and well-being, social connections and engagement, finances, activities and experiences, activities and experiences, home and lifestyle, and attitude toward life. Setting goals helps us to look to the future and remain optimistic. When we set goals, we’re increasing our optimism and resilience since we’re planning on sticking around to see those goals to fruition.

When I set my running goal, I thought about where I wanted to be in three months. I create quarterly goals because that length of time seems to be enough to get something done, but not so long that I feel I can push it off. You know that the human condition is sincerely prone to procrastination. Why do something today when you can do it tomorrow, right? But three months, or twelve weeks, is a good amount of time to achieve something meaningful but not so long that there’s time to waste.

I can already run 7.5 mph at 2.5 percent incline on the treadmill. It’s the endurance that I have problems with. I get tired. I get bored. The motivation just isn’t there. In addition, I’m distracted.

Check my own posts

I guess I need to get my head fixed to achieve this particular goal – read my own articles, maybe? Do more meditation and affirmations? I’ll get on that.

In the meantime, for the other goals that I’ve let slide, like keeping my desk clean by putting papers away every day. Perhaps I should reconsider the next part of goal-setting.

Be specific, but not too specific. This one seems to be a case of over-specificity. Things happen. Crises occur. Sudden projects can take over and cause chaos on my desk when I want things to be organized. So I’ll keep the goal of having a clean desk, but limit the filing to Friday afternoon. Every day is too much, but once a week should be about right. Time will tell. I’ll check back in three months.

Don’t minimize your celebrations

I’ve written about all the noise around us coming from so many sources. The national news here in the US is crazy. The winter weather won’t let up. It’s all too difficult to muster up the motivation to do anything toward any goal – big or little. But it’s important to keep going and don’t minimize your celebrations for any achievement.

This last weekend my Village was without water for days due to a major water main break. It started very early last Friday morning. Our usually exuberant water pressure was gone. And a boil order was put into place. This last may not seem like much, but think about it. We didn’t have bottled water. We depend on our tap water for all our water needs. My family thinks our tap water tastes good! And when I did venture out to the stores, bottled water was hard to find. Hard to wash, hard to brush teeth. And no showers, so no vigorous exercise. No laundry. I couldn’t do my regular cleaning chores. And we had to really think about our meal preparation.

There was no timetable for repairs and temperatures were forecast to plummet in a couple of days. It would have been really easy to let my mood plummet as well. But I knew that there was absolutely nothing we could do about the situation, so I turned off the screaming screens and organized a shelf in the linen closet. The next day I let myself listen to the audiobook I usually reserve for my runs while I did some needlework.

It was the perfect way to pass a quiet hour while not running water. It was a celebration of sorts – for not descending into a really bad, ugly mood. Instead of becoming angry with the world for the situation I found myself in, I took some time to enjoy two pastimes I love. I enjoyed a really good book and did some needlework. Every celebration increases our resilience and our optimism. That’s so good for our mental health and our healthy aging. Don’t minimize your celebrations. Especially now when we all need every bright spot we can find.

Choose the right goal

Much of what I write is about fitness and creating goals to achieve what you want for your fitness. But I haven’t written about how to go about how to choose the right goal. I tell you to choose goals that are a stretch but achievable, that are quantifiable, and that have a deadline. And I suggest that you break your big goals down into intermediate goals that are even more achievable in the short term.

But how do you choose the right goal for you?

First, think about what you want in life and in your fitness. I’ve told you that one of my goals is to run 7.8 miles per hour for a sustained three minutes at a 2.5 percent incline on the treadmill. Some of you may laugh at that because you can do that in your sleep. Others may think that it’s out of reach. And still others may question my sanity. For me, I believe that this goal is achievable with some work.

What do you want to do?

Your fitness goal is not mine. You may want to be able to run around your yard with the grandkids, or hike in Europe, or even walk in the mall with friends. So, choose the right goal for you. What will it take for you to have the endurance to run around with the grandkids and then go inside and cook a delicious dinner? Some questions you might ask yourself are: Can you walk for an extended period now? Can you walk unassisted? How quickly can you walk? Are you able to run on grass? Can you stop short and turn quickly? Once you assess your current abilities, these might be some intermediate goals to set for yourself. If you see obstacles in the way of achieving a goal like this, like achy knees and hips, find out what it might take to reduce or eliminate that pain.

Here’s the plan:

Or what kind of training will you need to hike in Europe? Think about the future you envision for yourself and choose the right goal for you. Then figure out exactly what it will take to achieve it. Adrienne Tierney, instructor and research advisor for Harvard Extension School’s psychology master’s program, agrees that your goal needs to be concrete, and researching what it will take to achieve it are key. Creating the right goal for you enables your resilience and your healthy aging. You’re seeing the future, and it’s rosy. You have an optimistic mindset. Then creating the intermediate steps helps your time management – because you schedule the work you’ll need to do to achieve them. Your Get It Done Guide will help you choose the right goals for you and identify the steps you’ll need to take to get there.

And choosing the right goals for you will make it so much more likely that you’ll work to see them happen.