happiness Archives - Fran's Fitness Over 50

It’s okay to keep your stuff

I read an article telling me it was okay to keep my stuff. That made me happy. My philosophy of No Guilt is right on target again. We’ve been told that we should do a “Swedish death cleaning” so that our kids don’t have all that stuff to go through. The author of this article said bush-wah to that. If you enjoy every knick-knack on your shelves, keep them. If you enjoy all the hundreds of socks in your drawers, there’s nothing wrong with that. It really is okay to keep your stuff.

Don’t let others lay a guilt trip on you

Don’t let anyone else guilt you into getting rid of your things. If they bring you joy, keep them.

I don’t know why we sometimes feel the urge to collect things. I have some dolphin figurines. Some are glass. Some are ceramic. Some are metal. Some are more realistic than others. Some are better than others. I love them all. I enjoy looking at them. I’m keeping them.

I’m the one that has to dust them. And when I feel the urge to do that, I enjoy picking each one up and putting it back once the shelf is dusted. Even if I hired someone to do the dusting for me (wouldn’t that be nice!), I would still enjoy looking at my little collection.

If your things bring you joy, keep them!

They bring back wonderful memories that make me happy. And happiness adds to our resilience and promotes healthy aging. I’m all for happy!

If you enjoy decluttering, go for it. If you no longer enjoy the things on your shelf, then by all means weed them out. Get rid of the clutter that is in the way of your life. If you stack magazines by a table and you’re constantly knocking the pile over. Find a different place for your magazine. If you don’t read them and if the most recent one is three years old, recycle them.

And if you have clutter blocking your pathways through your house, that’s a hazard. Definitely get rid of that. I spoke with an aging expert a number of years ago, and she told me that clutter is a major cause of falls in folks our age. We should do everything we can to reduce our risk of falling, like improving our balance or getting rid of clutter. Especially in our own homes.

But we can’t let others dictate what we do with things that make us happy. It’s okay to keep your stuff.

Don’t wait forever

What do cat videos and chaos have in common? I watched a short video this morning from a guy I follow on Facebook and something struck me. He said, “If you wait for life to calm down before you laugh, you’ll be waiting a long time.” Here’s a secret: life does not calm down. There’s always something that seems to come first. Let’s all adopt a new philosophy: Don’t wait forever to laugh and be happy.

Don’t let the stuff get in the way

There are always things to do. Things that don’t take a back seat to anything. There will always be chaos in the world. But you’ll always have five minutes to watch a silly cat video and laugh. Take a minute for joy. You’ll feel better about the rest of your day. You’ll even increase your resilience, and your overall health.

There are a few things you can do every day to boost your happiness that don’t take much time as well. We’ve talked about many of these things before, but they bear repeating. Because you can never have too much happiness or joy. Real Simple magazine recently listed 12 of them!

Think of others

Do something nice for someone. Pick up the phone and call a friend or relative. They’ll enjoy hearing from you. Or even send a text and let them know you’re thinking about them.

Take a walk outside. Breathe some fresh air.

Notice humorous moments throughout your day. They happen – we just have to pay attention.

Turn it around

Turn a situation around and find a more positive aspect. If something goes wrong, and something inevitably goes wrong, you can usually find a way to get something positive out of it. Shift your perspective. Find a lesson in the bad stuff. Or at least acknowledge your part and move on.

Yes, sometimes we do have to look for the joy in life. Some days it’s definitely harder than others. But joy and happiness are there. Don’t wait forever to find them.

Little rituals keep us grounded

The other morning I was feeling out of sorts. Until I was making my coffee. And then it occurred to me that it’s the little rituals that keep us grounded.

A normal morning, but…

It was a normal morning, nothing out of the ordinary. After I took the dogs out, I prepared their breakfast and I even remembered the flax and psyllium powders. Booker gets the lion’s share of one homemade food container, Torque the rest of that one, some of the next, and Simon gets the rest of the half from that container. Then even it up with the kibble, except for Booker. I still felt out of sorts, even though it’s the same dog food routine every day. I fed them and started preparing my own. Same routine every day. Fill up the electric kettle. Measure the coffee. And that’s when it hit me.

Comfort comes first, then the grounding

It felt comforting, that little ritual of making the coffee. It keeps me grounded. The act of pushing the lever on the kettle, measuring the coffee, pouring the water. The smell of the coffee steeping. And the rest of the breakfast preparation. It sets me up for the day. I know what to expect. It settles me. Grounds me.

Then I can take all the unexpected happenings more in stride. Or, as in stride as I ever do. Which is to think, “OMG! What’s happening!” at first. And then settle down. “Okay. We got this. We can handle it.”

Those rituals add to our resilience

But the little rituals help us get there. They help us to accept minor irritations as just that. And they help us deal with the major ones a little better. Those little rituals set us up to grow more. If we’re settled first, then we can grow. And we can become more resilient. If we start in a comfortable place, then we can get uncomfortable for a bit.

Type 2 Fun – What is It, and Why Bother?

Type 2 Fun is actually not fun. Not fun at all. Well, maybe, thinking about it was a little fun.

The fun that you think about later

What kinds of things do you do for fun? Go on. Okay, I’ll go first. Reading a good book. Cooking. Needle work. Puzzles. Training my dog. I train my dog in competition venues like obedience, rally and agility. I find the training loads of fun. My dog learns fun stuff, and our bond is stronger than ever. Competing with my dog, though? Putting all those hard lessons to the test? Not fun. Until later, when I go back and think about all the great moments we had. We may not have qualified for a ribbon, but there were lots of great and fun moments. Experts call that Type 2 Fun.

What ever possessed me?

Type 2 fun is the kind of thing that you wonder as you’re doing it, “Whatever possessed me to try this?” It’s the kind of thing that may not be fun at all in the moment, but then when you think back, the experience stands out and you relive the shining moments. Like when my dog was able to hold a 1-minute sit when I was across the competition ring. And he could hear my sister (his aunt who he loves) in the ring next to ours, with her dog. Not fun at the time. Lots of fun thinking back on it.

Not necessarily physical activities

Tori-Lyn Mills, a licensed clinical professional counselor with Thriveworks in Columbia, Maryland, clarifies that Type 2 fun can be physical, like hiking, skiing, competing in a 5k race, or it can be a mental challenge, like learning a new language or skill.

Rebecca Moravec, a licensed professional counselor, trauma therapist and founder of Full Bloom Counseling, says that we all need more Type 2 fun in our lives. It has all sorts of benefits for our bodies and our minds.

Sense of accomplishment when we meet the challenge

Type 2 fun offers a challenge, and when we meet that challenge, it’s deeply satisfying and gives us a sense of accomplishment. And that’s a boost for our resilience. She says, “Our brains are ‘prediction machines’ with a primary job of survival, not happiness. We’re constantly asking, ‘Is this safe, is this familiar, is this worth the energy?’ And type 2 fun doesn’t check any of those boxes.”

A boost to our self-confidence

It’s novel and exciting, and sometimes a little scary. Not dangerous, but challenging. Trying something new gives us a shot of self-confidence as well as dopamine. And type 2 fun is integral in achieving big goals.

So, when faced with a challenge, just remember – it’s type 2 fun.

Uncertainty can provide opportunity

We humans hate uncertainty. When I’m faced with uncertainty, my brain kind of jitters. I know I’m not alone. If a repair person gives me a four-hour window, it’s frustrating. If my website goes down and the hosting provider doesn’t have a clear-cut answer as to when it’ll be fixed, it’s scary. At least one neuroscientist, though, says that uncertainty can provide great opportunity.

A shocking result (literally)

There’s a study out that shows that people are more stressed when faced with a 50% chance of getting an electric shock than when faced with a 100% chance. The certainty lets you prepare for what you know is coming. We don’t want to face the ambiguity of not knowing. And how can you prepare for something you’re not sure will come?

Easier to pick up the pieces?

In some ways, it’s easier to pick up the pieces after a calamity. The worst has happened and we can deal with it. We can form a plan and move on to putting that plan in motion. That’s what our resilience can do for us. And to make our resilience even stronger, neuroscientist Maya Shankar says rather than define ourselves by the things we can do, we should define ourselves by figuring out why we do those things. Your why can help you get through those tough times. Shankar delved deep after a hand injury ended her concert violin dreams and discovered that a love of human connection was at the root of that dream. She was able to shift successfully into an avenue that let her keep those human connections.

Embrace your shiny object syndrome!

And Shankar also tells us to embrace the distractions we come across in our lives. They can give us the break we need to let the uncertainty or chaos settle. We humans can get used to just about anything. And by giving ourselves some time, we can let our brains figure out how to deal with it. We’re usually told that confronting the bad stuff right away is the way to get through it. And that works for some of us. But if you’ve tried that and it just scares you more, set it aside for a bit. Let yourself be distracted. Go follow that shiny object. When you come back to face the hard stuff, you might be more ready.

How to know if the work you’re doing matters

How often do we think about whether the work we’re doing really matters? You’re plugging along and then think to yourself, “Why am I even doing this?” Does it matter to your life? Your kids’ lives? The community? That’s really the point of setting goals, isn’t it? To do work that matters. To set us up for success, the way we define it. And to leave a lasting impression.

But, before we start working on a goal, or before the work goes on too long, how do we know? For example, if I’m working on a goal, creating a report that I initially believe folks who read my work will find valuable, how do I really know that people will find value in it? Am I just writing to put words on a page (or white screen)?

Here are 5 signs that the work you’re doing is valuable from Kathy Oneto, entrepreneur and founder of Sustainable Ambition.

First, you can link your work to a valuable outcome. I’ll know my report is valuable when I can prove that if my readers follow advice given, they’ll be happier or healthier. Shouldn’t that be the purpose of a fitness blog?

Next, if people tell me that they get something out of my work, I’ve fulfilled a goal. I mostly write for myself, because there’s no assurance that anyone else will read my articles. But when people tell me that they’ve followed a point and been successful, that’s really rewarding.

If I’m making progress on my own goals, then I know my work is valuable. Much of my work is for others to see, so if more people see it and get benefits from it, I’m succeeding. And that’s motivation to move forward.

If my work aligns with my core values, then I’ll keep going. When I’m training my dog, it’s not always easy. But if the methods I use align with my values, and I see even slight improvements, then I’m encouraged and I know my work matters.

And if I’m growing, learning, and being challenged by my work, then that’s a good thing. If I’m growing and learning, then my work is probably getting better. More people will get value from it. And I’ll know it matters.

If you’re working on a fitness goal – yay! Good for you – not only does the work you do benefit your health, your healthy aging, but it also benefits your family. Haven’t you noticed that you’re in a better mood more of the time? You’ll be around to play with the dog and the grandkids. And you’ll have more fun doing it.

Flexibility is your fitness superpower

The Secret to Longevity: Why Flexibility is Your Fitness Superpower Over 50

When we think about “getting fit” in our 50s and 60s, our minds often jump straight to cardiovascular health or building muscle. While walking and strength training are vital, there is a “missing piece” to the wellness puzzle that often gets sidelined: flexibility. Improving your flexibility isn’t just about being able to touch your toes. It’s a fundamental pillar of healthy aging and a primary driver of how we feel—both physically and mentally—every single day.

The Longevity Link

Recent science has highlighted just how critical flexibility is for our long-term health. A landmark 2024 study published in the Scandinavian Journal of Medicine & Science in Sports followed middle-aged participants for over a decade. The researchers, led by Dr. Claudio Gil S. Araújo, discovered that individuals with greater flexibility had a significantly lower risk of premature death. Interestingly, this association was particularly strong in women, suggesting that maintaining a wide range of motion is a literal lifesaver as we age.

Physical Freedom and Healthy Aging

As we age, our tendons naturally lose some elasticity and our joints can become stiff. Feeling creaky when we get up from a chair should be our signal to take a short walk or do some squats. By prioritizing flexibility, we maintain the range of motion necessary for things we do every day—things like reaching for a high shelf, tying shoes, or playing on the floor with grandkids. Improved flexibility also reduces the risk of falls by enhancing balance and stride mechanics, allowing us to maintain our independence for years to come. So the more flexible we are, the more able we are to do the balance exercises I recommend every day.

The Mindset Shift

Increase your balance in just a couple of minutes a day

The benefits of stretching extend far beyond the physical. Flexibility training, especially through mind-body practices like Yoga or Tai Chi, acts as a bridge to a better mindset. A 2024 study in Frontiers in Public Health found that mind-body exercises significantly improve psychological resilience and quality of life in older adults.

As an added bonus, when you stretch, you aren’t just lengthening muscle fibers; you are signaling to your nervous system that it is safe to relax. This reduces cortisol levels and helps alleviate the “brain fog” or anxiety that can sometimes accompany this stage of life. A flexible body often leads to a flexible mind—one that is more resilient to stress and more open to the joys of aging.

Your Path Forward

You don’t need to spend hours on a mat to see results. Just 10 to 15 minutes of dedicated stretching or a gentle yoga flow three times a week can transform your mobility. Spend a few minutes walking or biking first to warm up. The Mayo Clinic emphasizes that you can hurt yourself if you overly stretch cold muscles. Start where you are, honor your body’s limits, and remember: staying limber is one of the greatest gifts you can give your future self.

Enjoy a few minutes of doing nothing

Some days I start out feeling like I’ve been set adrift at sea. Aimless. Just kind of sitting there in my inner tube with my hands and feet dangling in the water. And some days that’s great. If there’s nothing I have to get done, then I can just laze around and do just that – nothing. But other days I have to shake off that feeling and start something.

That feeling of “I should be doing something”

What helps with that? (Because we’ve all got things we have to do most days.) If I’ve got a plan in place, then I can enjoy a few minutes of doing nothing, and then start being productive. If there’s no plan, then doing nothing seems pointless. There’s something missing. I can’t enjoy doing nothing, because I feel that I should be doing something – but I don’t know what that something is.

Doing nothing sets up the day

Those few minutes of doing nothing can be invaluable. They can set me up for an awesome day. I can enjoy being with my dogs or breathing fresh air. My sister and I used to own an RV that we parked in the most fabulous natural setting I can think of – right on the water of the Atlantic Ocean in the Florida Keys. We can work remotely, so I could set up my laptop in the shade, looking right out onto the water and enjoy those few minutes of doing nothing. Until those few minutes became an hour and then, well, I moved inside to work.

My plan for joy

But I only enjoyed those few minutes because I knew exactly what I had to tackle when I booted up the computer. I had a plan. I had a list. My plan for joy. And I knew what had to get done. Now those moments of doing nothing are the ones to savor.

The way I ensure that I can really enjoy those “nothing” moments is to plan the next day in the late afternoon. If I’m working on a big goal, I check my intermediate steps and I take the bit that inches me forward and write it down. So if I’m working on a course, and my goal is to have all the pieces in place by the end of the week, then on Monday I can create the pdf files so they’re ready to distribute. I’ve already written module outlines and documents in my digital cloud account, and created the graphics and worksheets that go with each.

So, on Monday before I start, I can play with my dogs. Or I can enjoy a few minutes of doing nothing. And then I can go gangbusters working toward my goal.

Protect yourself from chaos

The world is swirling. News reports are coming fast and furious from all directions and much of it contradicts other reports. It’s hard to know what’s real, what to believe, where to turn, and what to do. If we try to pay attention to everything, that is a sure path to stress and panic. So, how to protect yourself from chaos? Here are a few things that can help to turn off (or at least tone down) all the noise.

Start your day with intention. That’s not to say list everything you’re going to do that day. Your intent can simply be to have patience. Or be nice. Pay attention to your surroundings.

And it helps that before you start your day, you have a good night’s sleep. Be consistent with your sleep routine. Turn off your screens well before you turn off your light.

After you’ve done all the necessaries in the morning, set one small goal to accomplish that day. It can be to get a step closer to finishing a big goal, or it can be simply to throw out one thing from that overflowing junk drawer. It feels good and it gives a little boost to your optimism and your resilience.

You’ve started your day mindfully, so periodically, take a break and center yourself. Pay attention to your surroundings at that time. Take stock of your emotions and thoughts.

And speaking of thoughts, at least once a day, think about what you’re grateful for. A gratitude journal helps, but I don’t find it necessary. Enjoy the blue sky or interesting cloud formations. Smile at your dog’s antics. It really does boost your healthy aging and happiness.

Exercise. I know, I sound like a broken record (remember them?). But exercise really does help to protect yourself from chaos. When you finish a good workout, I guarantee you’ll feel better about the world than when you started.

And reach out to a friend. Someone who lights you up, one who instantly makes you smile when you hear their voice.

Just some thoughts to protect yourself from chaos. The world is in upheaval, so we have to do what we can.

Train yourself to be happy

I check FB regularly throughout the day. I never know when I’ll get inspired (like for this article). Anyway, this showed up in my Facebook feed this morning, posted by an old-time SF curmudgeonly author I follow. The funny thing is, clicker training works. I train my dogs and use the clicker religiously to bridge the time gap between the dog’s correct behavior and the reward. And positive reinforcement is the most effective way to train dogs for lasting behaviors. But for people? Why not? In this case, the girl was training herself with the clicker to be happy when she heard the click. So, why not train yourself to be happy anytime?

Do you remember the TV sitcom The Big Bang Theory? There was an episode that stuck with me in which Sheldon trained his neighbor and roommate’s significant other, Penny, with chocolate to do things he wanted her to do. Positive reinforcement at work. Chocolate would work for me, but I’d have to watch the calories!

It goes back to Pavlov ringing that bell for the dog’s dinner. It got so that when the dog heard the bell, he started to salivate.

Why wouldn’t this work for me? The clicker sound is too loud when I’m working in total quiet, so perhaps I’ll look for a bell tone in the app store. A nice quiet “ding.” When I see something I like, I’ll push the button for the ding. And at some point, just hearing the bell sound will make me happy. And, as we know, happiness promotes resilience and healthy aging. I vote for happy!

I looked up Robert Anton Wilson, the author whose fan group originated the post. He promoted the idea that we question everything. That each of us exists in a “reality tunnel” constructed by our own conditioning, beliefs, and sensory experience. Therefore, if we change our beliefs, we can change our reality.

Following the thread, if we change our beliefs, that we zero in on the sound that clicker or bell makes, we change our existence to happiness. And, therefore, train yourself to be happy anytime.