happiness Archives - Page 2 of 9 - Fran's Fitness Over 50

Small steps to great joy

When I don’t feel like running on my treadmill days, I walk instead. So that I don’t feel guilty about taking it easy, I push the incline to the maximum, 10 percent. At 4 miles per hour, it’s still a great workout. But I’ve been doing that for a while, so I’m thinking that I should push something else a little more. So, my goal will be 4.5 mph. Still walking, but more intense. Am I crazy? Maybe. We’ll see. But I can’t do that all at once. I’ve started to push the speed just a bit. And I’m feeling happy about it. Small steps to great joy.

I listened to a webinar from a fitness guru who I’ve been following for a lot of years last week. She’s going through perimenopause and not having an easy time. But she finally came to the revelation that she doesn’t have to kill herself during her workouts for them to be even more effective. The key is progressive overload for strength training and longer-duration moderate aerobic exercise. This resonated with me because, as I’ve gotten older, while I can still do the high-impact moves and the insane step routines, I don’t enjoy them as much as I used to. The old knees remind me that I really am old. So I feel more justified in slowing my pace.

I can still create goals to grow my fitness – I’ll never stop, no matter how old I am. Being fit, and creating goals to grow my fitness, will certainly promote my healthy aging. But it will also create a positive mindset and increase my resilience. I know that I’ll be able to be independent. And that I’ll be able to do the things I want to do. That 4.5 mph workout speed is out of reach right now. But I’ll grow the goal incrementally. Perhaps lower the incline for the higher speed for a while. Perhaps go faster for a shorter period of time while I’m working up to the full duration of my workout. These are some of the possible milestones to work toward on the way to a bigger goal.

And I’ll continue to check in with myself as part of the goal to make sure it’s really something that will bring me joy and enhance my well-being. Doing a periodic brief sanity check is always a good idea. If working toward a goal is not making you happy, and if the achievement of that goal won’t cause you to pump your fist and say, “Yes! I did it!” then you need to find a new goal.

The achievement, even the anticipation of the achievement, of a big goal should bring you great joy. Every big goal should be broken down into manageable chunks. And those small steps should also bring you great joy.

Start every day happy

Especially when the days start out dark and it’s dark before suppertime, starting your day in a good mood can go far to maintaining your optimism all day. So here are 5 ways to start every day happy from happiness experts:

Grow a healthy habit

Choose a healthy habit and link it to something you already do every morning. Habit linking is the easiest way to grow a healthy one. As an example, if you make your bed every day, combine making your bed with a couple minutes of meditation.

Eliminate screens from your sleep room

Scrolling is a sure-fire way to disrupt sleep and kill a good mood. If you don’t have your phone in your bedroom, then it will be a while before the good mood is gone. So, protect your sleep hours and don’t pick up your phone until after your morning rituals.

Talk to yourself

Psychiatrist Murray Zucker, chief medical officer of the health care platform Happify notes that many people talk to themselves in their head. Continue to do that, but make it a positive conversation. And use your own name while you’re giving yourself a pep talk. Give yourself a lift.

Reach out to a friend

And after you’ve done your usual morning routine, reach out to a friend. Just say hi and tell someone you’re thinking about them. It doesn’t have to be a long, drawn-out conversation. But maintaining your social connections is essential for happiness. Or, as research suggests, sending good thoughts to someone can also improve your mindset, optimism and happiness.

Be thankful

Studies have shown that a daily gratitude practice increases optimism and resilience. It can even improve physical health. Whether you write in a gratitude journal, drop a note in a “Thank You” box, or simply think of things and people you’re grateful for, you’ll start every day happy.

Change your brain to bring joy

There’s not a lot we can do overnight to change our life situation. We can’t lose thirty pounds. Or change our finances in a day. But we can change our thinking. That we can definitely start overnight. But why would we want to do that? Change your brain to bring joy.

We’re all thinking about goals to set, where we want to be in three months, a year, or five years. First, though, let’s start a little smaller and bring ourselves a little joy. With that little joy can come more optimism, more happiness, more resilience, and a real chance to set goals that will matter to us.

Take some action

The first thing to do is to take some action. Remind yourself that you have power over your actions. You also have the power to adjust how you react to outside forces. You can see what might be considered a problem, instead as an opportunity. Change how you view things and learn. And when faced with that opportunity, know that even though you might be uncomfortable with it at first, remember that discomfort means growth.

Take a small step first

Don’t scare yourself so much that you’re paralyzed, though. Take the small step first. Learn and understand the challenge. Find out about the opportunities you’re presented with. Take a walk and don’t immediately respond. Let the idea swim around in your brain. Decide what that first step might be.

Then you’ll be a little more comfortable with taking the step. And then you’ll find out more, get a little uncomfortable, think about things, and become more comfortable. Learning and growing are all part of achieving the big things that you want. You’ll change your brain to bring joy, one small step at a time. You’re growing your resilience, opening yourself up to new things. And you’ll be able to weather the storms you know are coming.

Big step for an introvert

For me, I’m on a journey to find more young readers for the children’s books I wrote. I’ll be contacting schools and public libraries, perhaps to do in-person story time events. You think that’s not scary? For me, a dedicated introvert, it’s terrifying. But I’m changing my brain one small step at a time. And by changing my brain, I’m seeing that I’m capable of stepping outside my comfort zone. And that brings me joy.

If you’re quest involves becoming more fit, you know that the most important thing is to get your nutrition right. Play around with flavors. Try some new veggies. It’s easy to find recipes on the internet for vegetables you’re not familiar with. Stroll down the produce aisle and find something exciting. Your small experiment may find a lasting spot in your recipe repertoire. That new recipe can change your brain and bring joy when you weren’t expecting it.

Do we need to age gracefully?

Should our goal be to age gracefully or be as loud and forceful as possible? I read an interview with Sofia Vergara who comes at the discussion by setting aside the traditional Latina point of view. Latinas have held high standards for traditional beauty, that women should do whatever they can to achieve those standards for themselves.

The actress is into her 50’s now, and acknowledges the double standards that women face. Women are expected to look beautiful and not appear to age, but are criticized for having cosmetic procedures done. Vergara says, “Beauty has evolved so much over time, and it’s no longer about fitting a mold or a standard; it’s about feeling confident, empowered, and authentic — whatever that means to you,” she says. “When we remove this stigma, we get the freedom of our own choices and celebrate the idea that beauty isn’t one size fits all, it’s personal.”

I’ve said before that fitness is an individual thing. What one person considers fit may not be another’s idea of fitness. The same for beauty. If a woman is feeling good about herself, then it doesn’t matter what anyone else says about them.

That’s easier said than done. Words hurt. And we live in the golden age of bullies. Bullying is rampant in social media. Everyone is the target.

But it’s important that we grow a thicker skin about things that we feel are important. If we’re confident in ourselves, and feeling empowered in our choices, we can face those bullies head on and tell them to mind their own business. Or say to ourselves that people are going to say whatever they’re going to say. There’s nothing we can do about that, but be true to our own ideas and values.

We’re being strong in our commitment to ourselves. And that can reveal itself in the choices we make in our diet, our exercise program, in our mindset. We’re strong in our beliefs and that carries through to our everyday lives. Our optimism grows, and so does our resilience.

And that makes us beautiful. That’s how we age gracefully. By holding true to what we believe.

Even now – grateful for everything

Thanksgiving is always an important holiday in our house. It’s the day of cooking, more cooking, enjoying our cooking and clean-up. My sister and I usually roast a smallish turkey, make dressing (we call it stuffing), make cranberry relish (we call it sauce), and enjoy a salad with our meal. Or we make brussels sprouts – they were outrageously expensive this year, but I splurged and bought a pound. We don’t usually express our gratitude for everything out loud, but know that it’s there, every day, our gratitude is in everything we do.

Grateful for everything - including the difficult journey Tango and I shared.

This year it’s a little different. My dog of 16-plus years, Tango, is gone. He told us it was time a couple of weeks ago. Because he was old doesn’t make it easier. You know. Tango was my project dog, and then my team member, doing all kinds of dog sports. We went on road trips together and had a ball. And, after his retirement, Tango was my companion dog. I still start to make his meals before the other dogs’. I look for him, watching that I don’t step on him walking through the house. He wasn’t a lap dog, but he had to be where I was. So, it’s different. I miss him.

The experts say that the stress of losing a loved pet can deplete your energy and emotional reserves. And that you should look after yourself. Let yourself grieve – and that takes its own path for everyone who experiences it. Continue your usual routines, especially if you have other pets. I’m doing that. The other dogs haven’t really looked for Tango. But perhaps they’re missing him in their own way.

By maintaining the usual routines, we’re making sure that our life goes on. Yes, I miss my dog. But I’m still functioning – after a fashion. It will get easier, I’m sure, as I do the normal things every day. And I’ll feel resilient again, having gone through something hard and survived.

This Thanksgiving, I’m grateful for having known Tango. He taught me more about dog training and psychology of dogs – and people than any course could have. I became a good trainer and learned how to be a good teacher. I’m grateful for everything he taught me. And I’m grateful that I was able to share Tango and our journey.

No need to panic – yet

Have you been seeing ads and posts about Black Friday the last few days? Isn’t it a little early? There are still 2 weeks until Thanksgiving here in the U.S., for Pete’s sake! There’s no need to panic – yet. Let’s take a breath and think about the current push. Retailers are seeing that no one is spending anything now. People are clutching their wallets to them and are reluctant to part with their hard-earned cash. Those retailers want to be top-of-mind when people start laying out the holiday moolah. And all the influencers want their recommendations to be what followers think of, so that they can earn their affiliate bucks.

Think about what’s worthwhile

Similarly, there’s pressure to start working – and make significant progress – on your New Year’s goals. I’ve started talking about that lately, so I guess I’m guilty of pushing too. But I want you to start thinking about – not rushing into – what you might find worthwhile in the next few months. But there’s no need to panic and rush into anything you’ll regret later.

List everything

The first step, as we talked about last week, is to set down everything you’ve been thinking of. Everything you want in the next year, or quarter, or month, or week. Prioritize them. And then break them down and put them on your calendar. You’ll be a step ahead, and not have to worry about fitting everything into your schedule. And that will give you peace of mind, boost your confidence, and increase your resilience. If you can master your wish list, you can tackle anything.

This means all the things from every aspect of your life. Fitness, definitely – if you think you could be eating a more nutritious diet and cut out some supplements, do your research. If you think you could be getting stronger or gain more endurance, figure out the kind of movement you like to do the most. Think about your relationships with friends and family. Is there work to be done there? And how about your home – are you happy there? If something strikes you as important, even just a little, add it to the list. Now’s the time to include everything. You can week out the unimportant stuff later.

Set priorities

Even celebrities like Megan Thee Stallion takes the time to set her priorities. “Right now, I’m just focused on staying disciplined in the gym, continuing to eat healthy, spending time with my loved ones, working on new music, and setting time for myself to reset and recharge.”

While we’re talking about the future, there’s no reason to abandon your current goals. If your goals still serve you, if you’re almost to the finish line, or even partway there, keep going. Incorporate them into your future thoughts too. And don’t forget to make regular contributions to your Amazing Box! You’re still doing great things.

Now is not the time to panic. But it is time to think.

Clarify your priorities

An old tool, but a good one for clarifying priorities

We’re getting close to that time of year when everyone seems to be talking about resolutions and goals for next year. I do this all year, because life doesn’t automatically change on December 31 and I have a whole new set of priorities. But many people stand by the New Year’s Resolution thing. Regardless, this is an exercise that everyone does at some point.

Here’s an old tool, but a good one, for clarifying priorities. Steven Covey, author of The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, coined the term for the process from a speech given by Dwight D. Eisenhower. The Eisenhower Decision Matrix, or Urgent-Important Box, helps clarify priorities and determine the order tasks should be performed. I like this because it shows at a glance how we view problems. I’ve changed the matrix a little to suit the task of goal-setting.

First step – list the tasks that need doing. In order to prioritize our tasks we have to know what they are. Spend a couple of days on this – writing the tasks down as you think of them. I’ll be brushing my teeth at night and I’ll think of something that needs to get done. That’s why I always keep my trusty notebook with me. The next morning I’m usually able to decipher my cryptic notes. So spend a couple of days thinking before you start to set your priorities

Urgent or Important?

Top-left, or front and center, are the things that are most important – the things that have consequences if they’re not completed. For us, if the doctor tells us to lose 50 pounds or we’ll die, that’s most urgent and imporant. These usually come to mind right away. We schedule everything else around these urgent and important tasks.

Important but not urgent tasks are those you still want to complete. These are the tasks or goals that you believe will set you up for success or happiness. So schedule your intermediate steps for these. If mastering the side plank will make you feel incredibly strong, schedule those mini-goals right on your calendar. Modify for a week on elbow and knee with your foot on the floor. Then lift the foot. When you’re ready lift onto your elbow and stagger your feet for the side plank. Then stack your feet, then lift onto your hand – you get the idea. You’re building your arm and core strength, and you’ll be making strides if you follow your schedule. And, by the way, this is an empowering pose. You’ll feel unbeatable.

Those urgent but unimportant tasks – like dusting – can be avoided or delegated. If you want your house cleaned before the holidays, hire a service.

And the tasks that are not urgent and unimportant can be put on your list for when you have an extra five or ten minutes between other tasks. Or if they’re fun tasks, like reading a chapter in that library book, you can fit that in as your little reward for achieving a mini-goal.

It may seem like an overwhelming job to prioritize all the tasks you have to do. But clarifying your priorities is an important step. So, don’t panic and set yourself a reasonable time to get it done. The Eisenhower Matrix can be a valuable tool. And then starts the really fun job of achieving your biggest goals.

Try the Grow-in Instead of the Lock-in

Great Lock-in Too Restricted? Try the Grow

A while back I wrote about the Great Lock-in. There are just a couple months left of the year, and this would be the time to get ready to take down all comers in the New Year. Make sure you slay those dragons in the first quarter and achieve your goals in a flash. But that might seem too harsh and restrictive. Many folks are trying a different TikTok challenge – the 75 Grow. There aren’t quite 75 days left this year, but that shouldn’t dissuade you from trying this. The goal here is to move, do something you’d ordinarily avoid, and be creative every day. Basically, to grow three habits before the end of the year.

So before you say that this is dumb, let’s take a closer look at what happens when you grow 3 healthy habits before next year.

Movement

This part you’re probably already on board with. I’ve written about the importance of exercise, and if you exercise three or four days a week, you’re probably not sitting around all day on the other days. Even a brief walk counts to grow this habit.

Do something brave

Doing something you’d prefer to avoid every day counts as being brave, in my mind. I was brave last week and called a new dentist’s office (the dentist I’d been seeing for many years retired this last summer). I could have put it off for a few more weeks, but I knew the tooth that was giving me problems would not get better on its own. And the day after I visited my new dentist I was brave again and showed up for the No Kings rally in a neighboring town. Being brave like this increases our optimism – I was proud of myself even for making that phone call. And it also increases our resilience. We’re able to face challenges and meet them head on.

Be creative

This is the fun part of the challenge for me. Increasing our creativity opens our mind to other new things. Even if it’s doing something you’re done before, this will open new passageways in your brain and, again, increase your optimism, happiness, and resilience.

If we grow 3 healthy habits before the end of the year, we’ll be moving more, we’ll be happier and more optimistic. We’ll also be able to meet more challenges and confront more obstacles without sending us into a declining spiral. And we’ll be healthier, having moved our bodies every day.

Stack your wins

Every time you show up for something important, it’s a win. And when you stack your wins, you can’t help but show up again and again. That’s better than external motivation, because it feeds your soul. When you can nudge that pointer a little more to where you want it to be – whether it’s your scale, your bank account, your sense of purpose – you keep on doing, and you keep on succeeding.

Let’s say you want to lose 10 pounds by the end of the year. It’s the beginning (sort of) of October, so that’s totally doable. Every day that you meet your dietary goals, that you eat enough protein and short the carbs is a win. Every day that you eat the vegetables, especially those dark leafy ones, that your body needs to feel full, is a win. And every day that you don’t eat a second piece of chocolate is a win.

And when you track what you eat every day, you’ll know when you win. The FO50 Fitness Journal and Tracker has a dedicated page for writing down what you eat every day. There are also little water droplets you can fill in so you can track your hydration, which is also crucial for your health.

Of course, every day you exercise and move your body is also a win. You know that your diet is most important, but following a close second is exercise for your healthy aging.

When you show up every day to the fitness party and track your nutrition and exercise, every day is a gold medal performance.

To top that, track your outlook. When you’re feeling optimistic, you’re more likely to go outside yourself and not devolve into negativity. You’ll start thinking about others, your gratitude for them, and things you can do to help them.

Every day that you take a step toward your goal is a win. Stack your wins, and you’ll be unbeatable.

Take that first step

Take that first step. That’s the hard part. But it’s at the heart of every person’s journey to achieving big goals. It’s scary, taking the first step on the road to the unknown. Because even though you’ve thought about that big goal, wrote it down, thought some more, and wrote down the steps you believe can get you to that goal, you don’t really know for sure how the process will turn out. And taking that first step is like climbing a flight of stairs and then stepping off the top one into a void.

Still thinking about it

So, if you’re like a lot of people, you think about the goal some more and decide you want to refine some of the variables a little and think some more. And then, before you know it, weeks have passed. Because you’re still thinking and refining.

But this is the road to exactly nowhere. And that’s why a lot of people’s dreams are never realized. Because they never take that first step.

Achieve goals for happiness

If you’re like me, then, you refuse to sink into that cycle of nothingness. You need to achieve goals for your happiness. Work on something that makes you fulfilled for your healthy aging.

Here’s the step-by-step method that actually works to achieve any goal.

Decide on your specific goals

Decide on the goal. Write down all of the specifics you can think of. Picture it. If it’s a house, design every room. The outside, too. And the yards.

If your goal is a novel, decide on the storyline and the tone you want to take with it. Name the characters. Identify the location. Even design your main character’s home or office, or both.

If your goal is a vacation, decide on the location, what you want to do there, and what you need to be able to do the things you want to do. If you want to walk all over Rome, for example, make sure you have a couple pairs of super-comfortable walking shoes. And if you need to work on your endurance, add that to the plan.

Break it down and identify intermediate steps

Now that you’ve identified your goal, break it down. For our vacation example, there are a few intermediate steps – location, itinerary, and ability.

For each intermediate step, break it down further. What parts of Rome do you want to focus on? Do some research there. What museums, historic attractions and restaurants do you want to visit? Do you need to make reservations for anything now? (There are vacation planners online that can help you.)

And if you need to increase your endurance, how can you proceed to be in the best shape by the time your trip comes around? First, assess your current fitness level and compare that to what you need to tramp all around Rome. And figure out what it will take to get you to that level. Start walking 1500 yards today, 2000 tomorrow, maybe a mile by next week. If you have a smart phone, there are apps that can count your steps if you put it in your pocket. If you like the walking shoes you’re wearing now, perhaps buy a couple more pair and break them in before your trip.

Take that first step

Now, you’ve identified the progression. You’ve achieved the mindset to make your dream happen. You know what to do. And you know what that first step is. It’s no longer so scary. So, go ahead and take it.