Month: June 2025

Develop mental strength

Get strong, mentally

You may have noticed that we’ve been focusing on our heads a lot lately. Or, rather, what’s in our head. As the writer, I write about stuff that’s top of my mind. And lately that’s mental strength. The news is horrible every day and I’ve been having a hard time sleeping with it all. On top of that our aging AC gave up the ghost in the middle of this major heatwave. So we’ve retreated to the basement where it’s cooler – dogs and all. My brain keeps going to the “What if” place and I keep telling it to stop. I’m succeeding for the most part. Does that qualify as mental strength? Anyway, I’ll take it. Really, though, how do you build up your mental strength?

Is consistency key?

First off, what makes someone mentally strong? James Clear believes that it comes down to consistency. Athletes who are mentally strong don’t miss workouts. Mentally strong leaders work toward a goal consistently, a bit every day. They don’t let short-term setbacks deter them. And mentally strong writers, artists and employees show up every day and do what’s needed.

Others seem to agree that consistency is important, but they also have other tips for gaining mental strength.

Why is it important?

But why is having mental strength important? First off, you’ll stay committed to your goals, what’s important to you. You’ll have more resilience and be able to adapt more quickly when things go sideways. Also, you’ll be able to deal with stress better. When you have to make an important decision, being mentally strong gives you an edge.

Tips for building mental strength

So about those other tips for building up your mental strength: First off, practice mindfulness. Be present and fully engaged, or focused, on yourself and your surroundings. Meditation can help ground you, or take a mindful walk, observing your surroundings. Calm.com says that this can “enhance your focus, reduce stress, and improve emotional regulation.” All these enhance your mental fortitude.

Second, be kind to yourself. Acknowledge your mistakes but go easy on yourself. Self-compassion goes a long way toward being strong mentally. Also be aware of your feelings. Try journaling them. The more you know yourself, you’ll know what you’re capable of.

Third, try new things. Step out of your comfort zone. Start a new hobby that you’re intrigued by. This will also enhance your resilience. You’ll have new experiences, perhaps meet new people.

Develop a positive mindset. Challenge your negative thoughts. This will cultivate an optimistic but realistic outlook. Practice this frequently and don’t be surprised if your problem-solving ability is also enhanced.

Learn from your failures. We’ve talked about failing goals recently. By acknowledging those failures, you can learn valuable lessons about yourself. 

So, make it a priority to develop mental strength. You’re already doing most of the work. You set goals and are learning about yourself in studying the failures. You’re practicing mindfulness and cultivating a positive mindset.

Change your mindset, change your life

What is happiness? To be deeply happy, do you need to achieve great successes? Reach great heights? Be thin, rich and have lots of friends? Like fitness, happiness is different for everyone. One psychologist seems to consider happiness as transitory, and that we should seek a life of fulfillment. By achieving that fulfillment, Robert Puff, PhD, we can build lasting emotional well-being. And Dr. Puff sees the path of fulfillment as being possible for everyone, not just the few lucky ones. Our brains are malleable. We can shape our destiny. Change your mindset, change your life. Changes are possible.

The key to being happy is in your brain. And Dr. Puff sees four practical challenges you can set yourself as ways to change your brain to be happy.

Observe

The first challenge is to just observe your thoughts. No judgment here. Just observation. Your thoughts are not good or bad. They just are. Acknowledge your thoughts but don’t react.

Change the negative

Are you having negative thoughts? Are your ideas constructive? Whenever I catch myself circling down that negative thought spiral, whether it’s from scrolling through my social media feeds or listening to the news, I stop that. I consciously try to shift my thoughts away from the negativity. If there are questions about the topic, I try to learn more, listen to the entire news story. Then I acknowledge that it’s bad news. 

Is it true? I’ll try to confirm with another source. Because, especially these days, not all stories we see and hear are true. Can I do something about it? No? Then I think about the pretty pink petunias in the flower box at my neighbor’s house.

Positive visualization

Visualize yourself working on and achieving your goals.

Dr. Puff recommends that we “regularly take time to vividly imagine your desired outcomes and feelings.” It doesn’t have to be for an extended period. For a few seconds, see yourself successfully working on one of your goals. Really picture yourself performing the actions. You’re rewiring your brain here. You see success and your brain releases happiness. 

Cultivate gratitude

And finally, Dr. Puff says we all need to cultivate a sense of gratitude. Every day, create a short list of things we’re grateful for in our lives. This shifts your brain from what’s lacking to what’s abundant.

With these 4 challenges, you’ll change your brain. Keep on doing them, you’ll certainly be more content. And you’ll be more likely to follow through on achieving your goals. When you’re optimistic, you want to continue to be happy. You’ll see the way to be happy in the future is by working on the goals you set for yourself and achieving success. So, when you change your mindset, you change your life.

Failure is an option

Despite what we may believe, failure is an option, and sometimes it’s a good one. None of us wants to fail at anything, but it happens. And in many instances, we should embrace it. In fact, in a recent article in Entrepreneur Magazine, the author states that failure is essential for personal growth. And Stephany Kirkpatrick, CEO and Founder of Orum, sees “failure as a superpower.”

One thing I’ve found through life is that there’s usually more than one way to get anywhere. Except in the Florida Keys. Driving through most cities, there are multiple routes you can take to your destination. A couple of years ago my sister and I were on our way to our cousin and there was a huge backup on the highway. It turned out that it was closed due to the Vice President’s motorcade. So we found an alternate route. 

In the Florida Keys, though, there is one main highway. Route 1 takes you from mainland Florida to Key West. There is no other road. My sense of direction is so bad that I once turned the wrong way from my hotel to my destination. Fortunately, I figured it out before I got to the 7-Mile Bridge and was able to turn around. This is, literally, a bridge that’s 7 miles long from Marathon to the Lower Keys with no entrances or exits until you get to the other side.

When you’re working toward a goal, sometimes the actions you take toward an intermediate step don’t work. When that happens, it could be beneficial. It will make you think about that goal and how to get there. When the obvious path doesn’t work, if you still want to make that goal happen, it’s time to get creative and figure out an alternate route. And your new path may be even better. 

To figure out your new plan, step back and approach the problem from a different angle. Or even try going backwards. Start at the end point and reverse-engineer the process.

When you’re forced to switch gears and rethink your plan, you’re actually wiring more adaptability and resilience in your brain. You’re better able to face other obstacles that may be in your way. You could be doing more for your healthy aging than if your initial plan had worked.

The key to achieving a goal is to create a plan and stick with it – until that plan no longer works. Recognize that your initial plan is not the best one and develop a new one. Your new plan may get you to that finish line in an even better position than if the original plan had worked.

When something’s a habit, you don’t need motivation

You don’t need motivation

What do you do that’s a habit? Something you do every day, most likely without thinking twice about it? Make coffee, brush your teeth, take the dog for a walk, tie your shoes, put your seatbelt on. You don’t even think about it and it gets done. It turns out that when something’s a habit you don’t need motivation!

No motivation to exercise

I’ve mentioned that exercise is one of my habits. Monday and Thursday when I’m done with work or errands I change and hop on the treadmill. Tuesday is yoga and flexibility, Wednesday is Pilates and Saturday is my combo day – aerobics and strength. I don’t even have to think about it. The workout’s done and I get to enjoy a nice relaxing shower. Exercise has become a habit for me through the years. I’ve tweaked that habit a number of times over the years, but it remains. It’s part of my healthy aging, part of my resilience. I exercise to support my fitness so that I can do what I want to do when I want to do it.

It’s not just me

Psychology Today recently published an article that supports this. Long-term fitness success is built on small, sustainable actions. And fitness habits are sustained “when they reflect the person you want to become, not just what you want to do.” 

So think about the person you want to be. Picture yourself six months from now. What are you doing? What hobbies do you see yourself enjoying? Are you travelling? Working in your garden? Training your dog? How are you moving while you’re doing all that?

Are those dream pictures the real you?

Ask yourself if this is the real you – if it’s the you that you want to become in those pictures. Now ask yourself if these are just pie-in-the-sky dreams or if you can actually see yourself making the changes needed to make them happen. For changes to happen, the motivation is built in. We’ve all tried a lot of stuff that didn’t work for us in the past. For me it was blow-drying my hair. I did it for work and hated it. As soon as I could, I stopped and am just air-drying my hair now. (In all honesty, I probably should dry it, as long as my hair is now, but I just can’t…) So in order for you to stick with something, it has to be something you don’t mind doing in the first place.

Or, associate something with it that you enjoy – like for me, listening to an action-packed novel while I run. Elevate the thing you’re not thrilled with somehow. And then make it a habit. Do what it takes so that you don’t have to think about doing it consistently.

At first, work the process to make it a habit

Make exercise a habit.

You know what that takes – schedule it on your calendar, put your clothes out, and keep that appointment with yourself. Take a deep breath and do it. Your motivation to do the thing is there – you’ve pictured yourself as the end result of it. Your motivation is built into your actions. You know what it takes to get there. You’ve committed to it. And you’re making it a habit you can live with. When something’s a habit you don’t need motivation. The motivation underlies everything, but it’s not a giant gold medal at the Olympics thing. 

Make exercise a habit. Your fitness journey lies on a path that you take steps on every day.