resilience Archives - Page 2 of 7 - Fran's Fitness Over 50

Fill up your sleep balloon

I heard an interesting story on the radio as I was driving to various errands the other day. We’re all feeling a little discombobulated right now because we’re not getting the proper sleep. At the holidays we enjoy get-togethers with friends and family, which is great, but we tend to lose sleep, eat more unhealthy foods and drink more alcoholic beverages than usual. We also tend to sit around more and not be as active as we should be. And now we’re feeling the consequences of not getting the proper sleep. So we need to fill up our sleep balloon.

Sleep balloon? Sounds weird

Joanna Kippax, a Sleep Hygienist, has floated the idea of a sleep balloon being the key to getting a good night’s sleep. Kippax noted in her work with kids diagnosed as having Attention Deficit Disorder that many symptoms were alleviated once proper sleep habits were put into place.

So how do you fill up your sleep balloon?

Picture this: you wake up and your sleep balloon is all deflated. So you wake up and open your shades to the morning sun. You’ve started already! Soaking in some daylight is a key component of getting a good night’s sleep.

Fill your day with social interaction and activity. Meet with friends. But also get in your exercise. Exercise is crucial to our sleep health. And even if you had a bad night, don’t take it easy the next day. Follow your usual routine. Get the exercise you need. And don’t be tempted to take a nap. That will just make it more difficult to get a good night’s sleep the following day.

Go to bed and wake up at the same time every day. Routine is key. We’re creatures of habit, and a regular sleep routine is a very healthy habit to have.

Got a full sleep balloon? Go to sleep

If you’ve done all the right things and you’re exhausted at your regular bed time, then it’s time to go to sleep. To fill up your sleep balloon is a key to healthy aging. You’ve recognized the importance of a good night’s sleep and, therefore, prioritized it. You’re on the way to more happiness and resilience. With good sleep, you’ll be able to handle life’s stresses.

What can you get done?

What can you get done in 15 minutes? A whole lot, as it turns out. My sister and I cleaned out 3 generations of stuff from our house in 15 minutes. Not all at once, but in 15 minute chunks. Not only my parents’ stuff, and my sister’s and my stuff, but my grandparents’ stuff too. Every corner of the house was filled with stuff.

Hoarders with 3 generations-worth of stuff

We had moved my grandmother into a nursing home and she shipped everything to us. My sister and I inherited our family home and we were not interested in moving. So we had to go through everything. A daunting task. The show “Hoarders” wasn’t on the air when we did this, but our house could probably have been featured. It’s not pristine now, but it’s no longer even close to a hoarder’s abode any longer. And we did it in 15 minutes at a time.

We tackled the job just like that – a job. We knew that if we tried to do a bigger part, like a whole room at a time, we’d never finish. But we set a timer and got busy. Sorting the stuff, 15 minutes at a time. Keep, toss, donate. Keep, toss, donate. Just that simple. It was our job for those 15 minutes every day.

What can you get done?

What can you get done in 15 minutes? A half hour? An hour? Anyone can do anything they set their mind to. Anything. I’m a firm believer. I write about goals and discipline all the time. Because that’s what it takes to get things done.

The problem is that many people don’t consider their personal goals the same way that they do their work or career goals. And that’s why they don’t achieve things that are important to their personal lives.

Personal goals = work goals

One productivity expert, in fact, proposes that we should view our personal goals exactly like our work goals. Use the same tools at home as we do in the office. For example, at the office we plan the day’s work to achieve the goals we set. It should be the same thing at home – but just if you want to achieve life goals too. (Just kidding, of course you do!) So, use your planner – or get one for your personal life. I created the Fitness Journal and Tracker for every part of what you want to get done. It’s much more than just for exercise. Track that, of course, as well as your diet, your water, your sleep, and anything else you want to keep track of.

Figure out a plan to get it done

Create goals for yourself and write them down in your Journal. High-flying, big, pie-in-the-sky goals. And figure out a plan to get them done. Above all, be specific – that’s the key to achieving big goals. If you know you want to achieve a lot, but don’t know how to start recognizing goals, download the Get It Done Guide. Use the worksheet. That’ll help. You’ll increase your resilience, your happiness, and, not only that, you’ll improve your mindset. So, what can you get done? A whole lot. Get to it. Start now.

Get stuff done the Navy SEAL way

Want to get stuff done? Get disciplined.

Got plans? Of course you do. And then life happens. It’s frustrating, I get it. Then how are some people able to accomplish so much? They may just be lucky and nothing gets in their way. Or they could be extremely disciplined. Some people achieve their goals no matter how high they set them. And other people don’t. Those people who achieve their goals have the discipline to put blinders on for at least part of each day, and not let anything distract them. If you want to get stuff done, get disciplined.

Navy SEALS have what it takes

In his book, Embrace the Suck, former Navy SEAL Brent Gleeson describes 9 ways to create the discipline it takes to complete a project. Without undergoing the rigorous training it takes to become a SEAL, we can learn from the lessons Gleeson recounts and develop the discipline to achieve our own goals.

Know yourself

The first step, Gleeson says, is to know yourself. Know your strengths and weaknesses. I know that I can’t stop eating chocolate. It’s impossible. What I can do is modify my eating habits so that I only eat a small piece. That small piece has to be the very best, or it won’t satisfy me, though. If I crave chocolate and eat some of the cheap stuff that tastes like wax, I’ll just want more, hoping that it’s better than I remembered.

Likewise, I know that I won’t be happy with a workout program that uses country music to motivate. I’m happier with classic rock. That kind of music will inspire me to work harder. Like I’ve said, focus on the fun and you’ll get stuff done – hey! that rhymes!

Use your weaknesses as a strength

Your weaknesses can be used to inspire you to change, though. Yes, I admit that I have a weakness for dark chocolate. I can use that dark chocolate as a reward for a week of hard workouts. A very small piece. Likewise, if you see something in yourself that will work against a very important goal, you can work to change it. When I wanted to lose weight years ago, I changed my eating habits. More vegetables, less starch. As much as I adore pasta and potatoes, I cut back when I made it my goal to lose weight.

If you know that you need to focus and do some deep thinking for a project to complete it, set a timer for 50 minutes, turn off your notifications, turn your phone face down, and get to work. Those last 10 minutes of the hour, reward yourself with some scrolling. When you want to get stuff done, get disciplined, then you get the reward.

Your goals

I’ve talked before about setting specific goals. It’s good for your healthy aging to have a few goals – both long- and short-term. If I want to make it my goal to hold the Side Plank Star for 10 seconds by the end of the year, I should plan steps toward that big goal with the few short weeks left in mind. But all of your goals should have deadlines, and be very specific. Set a route to travel toward your goal. Achieving our goals ensures our happiness as well as our resilience.

So, if you want to get stuff done, get disciplined. And if you want more help getting disciplined and making sure you’ll stay motivated, get the Get It Done Guide.

Gratitude is not just for Thanksgiving

The power of gratitude

Here in the US yesterday was Thanksgiving. A day that traditionally is spent with friends and family, eating lots of food, then lying practically comatose on the couch watching football. The last few years many have truly embraced the “thanks” part of the holiday, and that’s a wonderful thing. The power of gratitude is broad, creating physical and mental well-being.

Gratitude for resilience, healthy aging and happiness

The act of being grateful can go far in promoting healthy aging, happiness and optimism, but only if it’s more than one day a year.

Every day I make a point of specifically stating things I’m grateful for. Some days it’s really easy, when all my chores are done and the dogs have been behaving themselves. On harder days, though, it’s more difficult. But those days are the days when even the smallest thing means the most. When the dogs have gotten into the garbage, when business has not been the best, when things break – those are the days that I need to list specific things I’m grateful for.

Things I’m grateful for

Like if my sick old dog hasn’t thrown up that day, then I have another quality day with him. When my sister and I have a productive discussion, our relationship has grown stronger. And the headache that’s been plaguing me for the better part of a week goes away. Sweet relief!

Gratitude gives me warmth

Those are the times that my gratitude fills me with warmth. And that feeling makes me want to spread that warmth to others, so that they can feel what I’m feeling. That’s the power of gratitude. Then I feel able to take on the world. That anything is possible. Even on bad days.

When that power of gratitude fills me, it’s easy to resist my natural inclination to just sit and scroll through my news feed. I actually want to write a chapter in my book or an article. I’ll happily do the research, even though that’s not my favorite thing. Or I’ll pick up that cleaning rag and tackle a spot I happen to see, rather than just letting it sit – and with four dogs there are plenty of spots.

Gratitude can bring people together

When I’m feeling grateful, I want to bring others into my life, rather than caving to my natural hermit tendency. And being more social also tends to increase our happiness and optimism. It’s been proven that practicing gratitude actually makes people happier. In one study, people wrote and delivered thank you notes, and their happiness was subsequently measured. It turns out that this simple act increased people’s happiness for a month. Think what daily expressions of gratitude can do! Not all gratitude needs to be expressed publicly, though. Writing in a gratitude journal works too.

So, find that little thing you’re thankful for. Be grateful for breathing, for feeling the breeze, for the beauty of bare branches. Those little things can bring much bigger ones. If we only let it, the power of gratitude can make every aspect of our lives better.

The 3 Keys to Healthy Aging

I have an irrational distaste for going to the doctor. Of course, if I really have to go, then I will. (I’m not like my grandmother who absolutely loved going to her doctor’s appointments and all the attention she got there.) So I do everything I can for my healthy aging. It turns out that there are 3 keys to healthy aging that all work together.

Diet is first

The first of the keys to healthy aging is diet. Your nutrition, what you eat, affects everything you do. Your diet affects your brains, your bones, and muscles. Eating a healthy diet has been shown to reduce your risk of heart disease, stroke and cancer, among other health concerns. It also affects your mental health. Eating well can lessen your likelihood of developing depression or anxiety. If you eat a healthy diet, you’re more likely to keep to an exercise plan. And you’ll sleep better. What you eat can determine the amount and quality of your sleep.

Number 2: Exercise

Exercise is the second key to healthy aging. The benefits gained from exercise are for every age. From lower blood pressure to stronger bones to better mental clarity, exercise is essential. And every type of exercise can help to improve your sleep. Of course, exercising closer to bedtime could make it more difficult to fall asleep. I always have more energy after I exercise, so I don’t even try to take a nap after a workout.

Sleep is Last But Not Least

And sleep is the third key. Sleep gives your body and your brain time to recover from the day’s exertions. Without proper quality sleep, you have a higher risk of certain conditions like stroke, heart disease and diabetes. When you get enough sleep, you have better energy for all the activities you love doing during the day.

They all work together. The 3 keys to healthy aging make you more resilient and able to tackle everything life throws at you. Sleep and a good diet gives you the energy to exercise. Exercise and sleep help you make good choices, both in your diet and in the rest of your life. And, of course, diet and exercise keep you healthy and happy.

Your fitness journey is yours alone

The instructor in one of my favorite fitness program videos says “Fitness is a journey, not a destination.” And that couldn’t be more right. You can never say, “I’m fit, so I don’t have to exercise or watch what I eat any more.” You’re never done. And your journey toward fitness is yours alone.

Your goals are different than mine

It’s different than mine, or your partner’s, or your sister’s. Your fitness goals are different than my goals. You may want washboard abs. I don’t think they’re necessary.Feeling better and being fit improves my resilience. I may have a fitness goal of being able to run 8 miles an hour. You probably don’t care about how fast you run. We’re all different. Each of our fitness journeys is correct and right for us. We have to change our mindset to accept and appreciate our uniqueness.

A break in the fitness journey

The fact that we’re never done with our journey to fitness hit home to me recently. If you’ve been exercising regularly for a while and stop for a week, you know that you’ll be sore all over again. I had Covid and just didn’t feel up to exercising for a few days. I started up again,but my muscles were sore, I wasn’t as strong, and I was winded more quickly than before I was sick. So I started my journey again. There’s no destination. My journey to fitness is ongoing. And yours probably is too. I consider myself “fit,” and I want to stay that way.

Being truly alive means staying fit

If we’re alive, don’t we want to be truly alive? Experience new things, taste new flavors, smell new aromas? All that means staying fit. We may want to share our journeys, but we don’t want to be dependent on our traveling companions. We want to be able to walk around new cities. Visit new shops and restaurants. And being fit means not slowing our traveling companions down.

Everyone’s journey has similarities

Everyone’s fitness journey has similarities. We have to plan our workouts and nutrition. Everyone has to figure out how to vary the exercises we do so we don’t overuse muscles. And we each have to measure our progress against the goals we set for ourselves somehow.

So, enlist others to go on your fitness journey with you. Walk with a friend. Commiserate about a tough workout with a classmate. Bitch and moan about running with relatives. And remember they’re on their own fitness journey.

Waste time to get motivated

So this morning I woke up early, thinking I could write maybe a thousand words in my novel. I was at a crucial point, but a couple of days ago, the last time I tackled this document, I got stuck. I’m at a crucial plot point, and I couldn’t figure out how to resolve the issue. So today, after I got back from the bathroom and made sure the dogs were still sleeping soundly, I turned on my keyboard, got my phone, and was immediately distracted by a news story. Funny, now, I don’t even remember what that story was. I must have wasted ten minutes scrolling the news after reading that story.

Then I shook myself (mentally) and told myself to get to work. Opened the Google Doc and started banging the keyboard. No breaks for about a half hour, until I had to get up and start the day. I didn’t quite make it to a thousand words, but came close. It turns out that it’s actually a proven productivity method: waste time to get motivated.

Scroll social media?

In fact, Joi Foley of the Rockwood Leadership Institute, advocates scrolling social media as a way to get away from the pressure you put on yourself when you’re stuck. If you’re working on a project and are stymied on where to take it, chances are your path will become clear after a break. And scrolling your social media accounts for a few minutes can provide that break. Thinking about a great bread pudding recipe, for example, can let your mind solve that other, totally unrelated, problem. The key here is to get back on track after a few minutes. If you like this solution to problem-solving, you may want to use an app to get you back to your task after a set time period.

Do nothing

Another way Foley can waste time to get motivated is to do nothing. Just sit and breathe. I’ve advocated meditation myself. It’s sometimes hard to get the noises out of your head, though, to meditate properly. Perhaps a short guided meditation can help you focus on something else.

Work for 5 minutes

So another time-waster Foley suggests is to just work for 5 minutes. Goodness knows, sometimes those 5 minutes can seem like forever when I’m working on a project I wasn’t looking forward to. So after those 5 minutes are up, do something else. Chances are, you’ll start thinking about the project you left and get the urge to start working on it again.

Take a walk

I also advocate a change of scenery. Take a short walk. That often helps me clear my head and want to dive into a project when I get back. Taking a walk not only helps productivity but also contributes to your happiness.

All this time-wasting is contributing to your productivity. By strategically doing other things, and thinking about other stuff, you’re actually doing more to get the stuff you really want to get done, done. And that will make you happier, more optimistic, and more resilient. It contributes to your healthy aging and you’ll get the urge to get even more stuff done.

Just one more!

I don’t know too many people who are excited to exercise. I’m not. I do it because the benefits I get from exercise allow me to do the things I actually want to do. But I know that in order for the exercise to keep giving me those benefits, I have to keep challenging myself. You probably know that many days I do my workouts with a pre-recorded program. I pick up my weights and follow along. As the years have gone by, I’ve increased the intensity and the weights I use. I’ve gotten stronger, and the old weights were no longer challenging. I also want to be able to do more regular push-ups because I want to get stronger. To motivate myself, I tell myself, “Just one more!”

The key to motivation

And that’s the key to motivation. “Just one more” can be your watchword, your spark, for anything you’ve got in your sights. One more pound to lift. Run another tenth of a mile. Walk one more block. Write another chapter. Knit another row. The sky’s the limit when you tell yourself, “Just one more!”

Stagnation is the worst thing

I believe that the worst thing we can do is stagnate. If we don’t grow, if we don’t evolve, then I think we can just dig a hole and get comfortable there. By growing and developing new talents we learn more about ourselves and the world.

Develop a “growth mindset”

And in challenging ourselves, we develop what’s known as a “growth mindset.” We aren’t satisfied with the way things are now, with ourselves. We know that we can be better. We can become more fit, for ourselves and the people who love us. And we can explore more things. We’re not satisfied with our current knowledge base. Sometimes that’s scary. But by learning more about the things that scare us they lose the aspects that we fear. We can bounce back and become more resilient as fewer things scare us. Sure, there are other scary things out there, but we may have to look harder for them.

When we can do “Just one more,” then perhaps we can do two more, and conquer the world that much faster.

Don’t use fear as a motivator

It’s Fall – when we strive to prevent falls

It’s officially Fall according to the calendar, and my reminder to focus on my balance exercises. It’s an unkind fact – as we get older we not only gain more wisdom (that’s a good thing), we also lose things. Like our eyesight, our hearing, our hair (for some), our bone density, and our sense of balance. Falls are a primary cause of sending us seniors to the hospital. And once we’ve fallen, we live in fear of falling again. We may not be able to do much about our eyesight and hearing, but we can work to improve our balance. Fear of falling is a powerful nudge to get us working on our balance, but don’t use fear as a motivator.

Negative motivators are powerful

Fear has been called the most powerful motivator to get us to do something. And it certainly works. For a while. But we become fatigued. We can’t live in fear day in and day out. It’s not enough to be afraid of falling to get us to do the simple balance exercises. Fear tends to paralyze us. And if we don’t fall one day, or two, or a week, then we lose the motivation. We’re still afraid of falling, because the memory is there, but it’s no longer so powerful.

I learned a lot about aging

I started my balance journey a number of years ago after I fell and injured my knee and hips. It’s true that knowing our balance diminishes is often not enough to get us to work on it, though. In fact, I didn’t know about that aspect of aging until I started doing some research. I didn’t like the fact that losing balance is a natural part of aging, so I decided to see if there was something to do about it. Happily, I also learned that simple exercises (you can do the Core-Centered Balance Moves too) can help us regain the balance we’ve lost over time. This is a long-term prospect. Much like general exercises for the rest of our bodies, the benefits are lost if we don’t do them and they’re cumulative if we keep on doing the exercises. So we need additional motivation to keep us working on our balance.

Negative motivators are exhausting

But fear is a negative motivator, which never works as well as positive ones over time. Negative motivators are tiring. They’re unsustainable. Negative motivators work really well in the short term – like making you hurry if you’re late to an appointment and fear the consequences. Negative motivators are great at getting you to avoid doing things – like going out of your house if you’re afraid of falling. Positive motivators work much better in the long run at helping you to take action. You’ll want to go places and visit friends and family if you’re confident that you can do so safely. You’ll be able to bounce back and be more resilient if you’re confident in your independence.

So don’t use fear as a motivator to practice your balance moves. Instead, think of the confidence you’ll gain by your improved balance. You can step out of your door with confidence. You’ll revel in your independence. You’ll know that even if you do step on uneven pavement, the Inline Walking exercise that you do every week (yes, I know it looks and feels weird) will help you keep your balance.

It’s just two minutes a day. Practice your balance. Be confident.

The Rewards you Get

COVID takes your brain to interesting places. You’re sitting there and trying to focus, and your brain takes a detour down a rabbit hole. The other day I was thinking about positive reinforcement training and rewards. In my other life, I’m a dog trainer, using positive methods, and lots of rewards. So I thought, what’s different about people and motivation – people deserve great rewards when we do awesome stuff, just like our dogs do! Motivation and reward have to be linked, or I wouldn’t get things done.

Rewards in Positive Reinforcement Dog training

When I’m training my dogs, I reward things I like. That has the effect of the dogs doing that thing I liked more, so they get more rewards. Motivation and reward are linked. We say, “What gets rewarded gets repeated.” If the reward is a high value treat, my dogs want more of it. They think, “How can I get more of that yummy cheese?” Pause a moment. “Oh yeah. I was sitting.” They probably don’t use words, but I can imagine the thought process goes like that.

Rewards for Humans

When it comes down to it, people like rewards too. Our rewards might take a different form – less cheese, perhaps, and more chocolate, but cheese is good too. I have a feeling that we often disregard the “Reward” part that comes after we complete an item on our “To Do” List. And, yet, to keep us motivated, the reward plays an important part. I always say that we should celebrate every small victory! Every step toward a goal’s completion deserves a reward. Incidentally, achieving goals is also great for our optimism and our resilience.

Enlightened self-interest

Enlightened self-interest is what makes the world go around. If I don’t want to do something, I’m not going to do it unless I have a very good reason to do it. Like exercise. If I were just starting an exercise program, I’d need really good rewards to make me change into workout gear and get all out of breath and sweaty. But if I promise myself that I’ll get a new top if I stick to my program for a solid week, then I’ll stick with it.

Hierarchy of rewards

But not every reward is the same. Just like I do for my dogs, we should have a hierarchy of rewards for us. For a dog, kibble is at the low end of the hierarchy and hot dog may be at the high end. For us? Perhaps taking a five-minute breathing break is at the low end of the reward spectrum, and a new set of colored gel pens at the high.

Or if the task is more difficult, then a new pair of shoes may qualify as a high-end reward. As a reward, that pair of shoes carries much more value than a 5-minute break, so the task it’s rewarded for must be more difficult or time-consuming. Pair the reward with the task. And make sure that the reward is something you really want. You won’t be motivated to perform the task by that reward if you don’t care if you receive it or not!

Don’t wait until it’s finished for a reward

You may think that the carrot dangling on the end of the stick will see that task done to completion. But research has shown that a reward given when a task is started helps to keep us working. If we like the reward, then we have a positive association between it and the task, and it keeps us going. And this immediate reward doesn’t have to be big, either. The study showed that smaller, more frequent rewards had a bigger influence on a person’s motivation to complete a task than a bigger reward when the task was complete. The person’s mindset was changed to continue the task even for a smaller reward.

Motivation and rewards are linked – so make sure you’re clear on what your reward is for performing a task. Make sure the reward is something you actually want. And rewarding yourself for starting a project may just keep you going through to the end.