resilience Archives - Page 3 of 16 - Fran's Fitness Over 50

Resilience grows with little habits

You don’t need me to tell you that things are tough these days. It’s hard even waking up and facing a new day. It’s tempting to get back under the covers and withdraw from the world. But that’s the way things are now, and the more we can do for our own resilience, the happier we’ll be. Former Navy SEAL Mark Divine suggests that the rituals we do every day can help. Our resilience grows with little habits that are part of those rituals. Like brushing our hair a certain way. Or making the bed at the same time every morning.

And it turns out that a study from MIT supports Divine’s claim. We all know that it takes many repetitions for something to become a habit. Do something every day for about a month. The MIT study shows that making small changes with consistent positive reinforcement helps the process. “The brain has an absolutely fabulous system for getting reward signals. The system is so sensitive that researchers have seen nerve cells fire in response to a single word, evoking a craving long after a habit has been kicked.” This means that once a habit is formed, it sticks. And that’s why it’s so hard to break habits, even bad ones, like smoking. The brain associates the action of the habit with the reward that it received – even if it hasn’t received that reward recently.

So, healthy habits that we practice continually through the day can condition our minds and body to be calm, maintain a neutral perspective, and consider our next actions clearly. These habits serve us well in times of stress. We can better deal with that stress and not overreact. But how to create those healthy habits? I’ve talked about creating an exercise habit before, because folks seem to have the most resistance to that. It’s easily doable – I’m not going to say it’s easy, because for many, it’s totally alien. But it’s doable. Find a program that you don’t hate. Schedule it on your calendar. Prepare for that very important date with yourself. And show up.

When you create healthy habits for yourself, your resilience grows. It’s, of course, essential for your healthy aging. And you’re happier and more optimistic. You’ll be courageous in a way you never envisioned.

Goal for the year: do more squats

I know – most of us hate squats because we have bad knees. I know I do. Experts say the squat should be the number one exercise we seniors do. Let’s explore the why first, and then the how to make this our goal for the year..

The benefits

Squats will give you legs that can go forever. If we want to be able to walk from a distant parking space to the store, squats will give that gift to us. No more wasting time circling, looking for a close parking spot. Our legs will be strong enough to carry us wherever we want to go. Trips to Disney with the grandkids? You’ll be able to outwalk them through the parks. Hiking trips with friends? No problem. And if you’re used to seeing new cities from a bus window, you’ll be able to take walking tours instead pretty soon.

When you do more squats, you’ll be strengthening your thigh muscles and protecting your hip and knee joints. Exactly what we all need. When you do squats correctly without overextending, you will be improving muscle tone. You’ll experience that when you’re able to get out of low-slung chairs and sofas. No more struggling to stand up.

And you may live longer. Studies have shown that people with stronger quadriceps muscles (the ones on the front of your thighs) tend to live longer. Another side benefit – the way your legs look will change. You’ll actually see muscles. And that’s kind of cool, especially for us older folks. So that should be our goal of the year: do more squats!

Here’s how:

How to do a proper squat. Stand with your feet shoulder width apart. If you have hip issues, it’s OK if your legs are a little farther apart. Point your toes slightly outward. If you’re nervous about this, face a kitchen counter to start and hold on.

Bend at your knees and push your hips back like you are about to sit in a chair. Keep your back as straight as possible, chest up and heels planted on the floor (you can even try lifting your toes in your shoes). Tighten your core. Keep your weight evenly distributed. Make sure your knees don’t extend forward over your toes, because you can risk hurting your knees. You should be able to see your toes beyond your knees when you squat. There’s no need to go deep, because standing up is the more important part of the exercise.

To stand, push the ground away with your heels and exhale.

Aim for 2 sets of 8 squats each to start. Go at a slow pace – 2 seconds down, 2 up. And incorporate squats into your workouts 3 times a week.

As you get stronger, let go of the counter. You can hold your arms straight in front of you as you squat and at your sides as you stand. Or, if you tend to hunch over, cross your arms in front of your chest to help keep your back straight.

When you can successfully do 2 sets of 15 squats, try holding a pair of dumbbells at your sides. Start with light ones.

There are lots of variations, but start slowly and build up. You’ll be able to get out of that chair without using your hands in no time.

Start every day happy

Especially when the days start out dark and it’s dark before suppertime, starting your day in a good mood can go far to maintaining your optimism all day. So here are 5 ways to start every day happy from happiness experts:

Grow a healthy habit

Choose a healthy habit and link it to something you already do every morning. Habit linking is the easiest way to grow a healthy one. As an example, if you make your bed every day, combine making your bed with a couple minutes of meditation.

Eliminate screens from your sleep room

Scrolling is a sure-fire way to disrupt sleep and kill a good mood. If you don’t have your phone in your bedroom, then it will be a while before the good mood is gone. So, protect your sleep hours and don’t pick up your phone until after your morning rituals.

Talk to yourself

Psychiatrist Murray Zucker, chief medical officer of the health care platform Happify notes that many people talk to themselves in their head. Continue to do that, but make it a positive conversation. And use your own name while you’re giving yourself a pep talk. Give yourself a lift.

Reach out to a friend

And after you’ve done your usual morning routine, reach out to a friend. Just say hi and tell someone you’re thinking about them. It doesn’t have to be a long, drawn-out conversation. But maintaining your social connections is essential for happiness. Or, as research suggests, sending good thoughts to someone can also improve your mindset, optimism and happiness.

Be thankful

Studies have shown that a daily gratitude practice increases optimism and resilience. It can even improve physical health. Whether you write in a gratitude journal, drop a note in a “Thank You” box, or simply think of things and people you’re grateful for, you’ll start every day happy.

2 weeks left – stay calm

Are you feeling just the slightest bit panicked about all the stuff you have left to do before the end of the year? Here are some strategies to stay calm and at least get some stuff done before it’s time to ring in the New Year. There are about 2 weeks left – stay calm.

Stay in control

Easier said than done, right? Be more free with the “No’s.” If you’re typically a person who says Yes to everything, stop it. Right now. Unless it’s something you really want. Saying no to adding more things on your plate will help your peace of mind, help your resilience, and keep you healthier. You won’t be worried about extra stuff you have to get done. You’ll be able to stay more focused on the things that really matter.

Prioritize

Make sure the stuff that’s most important gets done. Once you’ve cleared those, then you can worry about the smaller stuff. But be sure you’re able to prioritize your tasks with a clear mind and really understand the value of finishing the tasks you set the highest priority to.

Spend time with the people you care about most

Too often the holidays are lonely for people our age. Don’t let that happen. Reach out to your community and make sure you’re sharing your time with people who are important to you.

Manage your habits

Now is not the time to neglect the healthy habits you’ve worked so hard to gain. Eat a healthy snack before you go to a party where you know there will be lots of yummy stuff that you’ll pay for later. (That’s not to say you have to forego that yummy stuff – be discerning.) If you don’t have time for your usual workout, take a walk with a friend. You’re still moving and catching up. And don’t neglect your sleep.

Focus on gratitude

Every day, focus on gratitude. Recognize things and people you’re grateful for. Your happiness and optimism grow, and so does your ability to look to the future.

Focus on these 5 strategies to stay calm, and you’ll head into next year with a bright outlook.

Do we need to age gracefully?

Should our goal be to age gracefully or be as loud and forceful as possible? I read an interview with Sofia Vergara who comes at the discussion by setting aside the traditional Latina point of view. Latinas have held high standards for traditional beauty, that women should do whatever they can to achieve those standards for themselves.

The actress is into her 50’s now, and acknowledges the double standards that women face. Women are expected to look beautiful and not appear to age, but are criticized for having cosmetic procedures done. Vergara says, “Beauty has evolved so much over time, and it’s no longer about fitting a mold or a standard; it’s about feeling confident, empowered, and authentic — whatever that means to you,” she says. “When we remove this stigma, we get the freedom of our own choices and celebrate the idea that beauty isn’t one size fits all, it’s personal.”

I’ve said before that fitness is an individual thing. What one person considers fit may not be another’s idea of fitness. The same for beauty. If a woman is feeling good about herself, then it doesn’t matter what anyone else says about them.

That’s easier said than done. Words hurt. And we live in the golden age of bullies. Bullying is rampant in social media. Everyone is the target.

But it’s important that we grow a thicker skin about things that we feel are important. If we’re confident in ourselves, and feeling empowered in our choices, we can face those bullies head on and tell them to mind their own business. Or say to ourselves that people are going to say whatever they’re going to say. There’s nothing we can do about that, but be true to our own ideas and values.

We’re being strong in our commitment to ourselves. And that can reveal itself in the choices we make in our diet, our exercise program, in our mindset. We’re strong in our beliefs and that carries through to our everyday lives. Our optimism grows, and so does our resilience.

And that makes us beautiful. That’s how we age gracefully. By holding true to what we believe.

Unleash your creativity and boost your cognition

It’s the time of year when we see people’s creativity all around us. They decorate their homes with lights, colorful figures and greenery. Who wants to get all techie and ruin the mood? I say, embrace your creative side these last weeks of the year and get more done than ever. Unleash your creativity and boost your cognition. We already know that exercising helps boost your memory power. But we can also solve more problems as we get more artsy. And I’m not the only one saying this.

Your brain becomes more flexible

Fostering your creativity trains your brain to be more adaptable and flexible in dealing with all sorts of problems. Not just how to get that pot completely balanced and smooth, for example, but how to solve that problem with a work project or a relationship or a career issue. As I work on a knitting project, for example, my stitches start out uneven and the yarn tension is unbalanced. But as I work through my knitting issues, other problems are also being worked on in the back of my brain.

Being creative takes you out of the linear thinking mode and the confines of regular logic. Options stop being only black and white. Your mind can look at problems from many different angles and see potential solutions that you otherwise might miss.

All parts of the brain are involved

We used to think that creativity came from just one part of the brain. But scientists have debunked that theory. Multiple parts of the brain are involved, along with neurotransmitters and other cognitive processes. The temporal lobe which is used for processing memories and emotions, the parietal lobe which is mostly for sensory processing, and even the prefrontal cortex, used mostly for high-level cognitive tasks, gets involved when you’re doing some creative thinking.

Cognition involves many mental processes we use to learn and understand things. Processes like attention, perception, memory, and problem-solving. Creative thinking uses all of these processes as well.

So, get smart and get creative. Go take up a new hobby. Or dust off that scarf you started knitting last year.

By the way, getting creative can also boost your healthy aging. Creative hobbies can reduce stress and help us be more optimistic. Finishing a creative project will also boost our confidence and our resilience.

Even now – grateful for everything

Thanksgiving is always an important holiday in our house. It’s the day of cooking, more cooking, enjoying our cooking and clean-up. My sister and I usually roast a smallish turkey, make dressing (we call it stuffing), make cranberry relish (we call it sauce), and enjoy a salad with our meal. Or we make brussels sprouts – they were outrageously expensive this year, but I splurged and bought a pound. We don’t usually express our gratitude for everything out loud, but know that it’s there, every day, our gratitude is in everything we do.

Grateful for everything - including the difficult journey Tango and I shared.

This year it’s a little different. My dog of 16-plus years, Tango, is gone. He told us it was time a couple of weeks ago. Because he was old doesn’t make it easier. You know. Tango was my project dog, and then my team member, doing all kinds of dog sports. We went on road trips together and had a ball. And, after his retirement, Tango was my companion dog. I still start to make his meals before the other dogs’. I look for him, watching that I don’t step on him walking through the house. He wasn’t a lap dog, but he had to be where I was. So, it’s different. I miss him.

The experts say that the stress of losing a loved pet can deplete your energy and emotional reserves. And that you should look after yourself. Let yourself grieve – and that takes its own path for everyone who experiences it. Continue your usual routines, especially if you have other pets. I’m doing that. The other dogs haven’t really looked for Tango. But perhaps they’re missing him in their own way.

By maintaining the usual routines, we’re making sure that our life goes on. Yes, I miss my dog. But I’m still functioning – after a fashion. It will get easier, I’m sure, as I do the normal things every day. And I’ll feel resilient again, having gone through something hard and survived.

This Thanksgiving, I’m grateful for having known Tango. He taught me more about dog training and psychology of dogs – and people than any course could have. I became a good trainer and learned how to be a good teacher. I’m grateful for everything he taught me. And I’m grateful that I was able to share Tango and our journey.

Clarify your priorities

An old tool, but a good one for clarifying priorities

We’re getting close to that time of year when everyone seems to be talking about resolutions and goals for next year. I do this all year, because life doesn’t automatically change on December 31 and I have a whole new set of priorities. But many people stand by the New Year’s Resolution thing. Regardless, this is an exercise that everyone does at some point.

Here’s an old tool, but a good one, for clarifying priorities. Steven Covey, author of The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, coined the term for the process from a speech given by Dwight D. Eisenhower. The Eisenhower Decision Matrix, or Urgent-Important Box, helps clarify priorities and determine the order tasks should be performed. I like this because it shows at a glance how we view problems. I’ve changed the matrix a little to suit the task of goal-setting.

First step – list the tasks that need doing. In order to prioritize our tasks we have to know what they are. Spend a couple of days on this – writing the tasks down as you think of them. I’ll be brushing my teeth at night and I’ll think of something that needs to get done. That’s why I always keep my trusty notebook with me. The next morning I’m usually able to decipher my cryptic notes. So spend a couple of days thinking before you start to set your priorities

Urgent or Important?

Top-left, or front and center, are the things that are most important – the things that have consequences if they’re not completed. For us, if the doctor tells us to lose 50 pounds or we’ll die, that’s most urgent and imporant. These usually come to mind right away. We schedule everything else around these urgent and important tasks.

Important but not urgent tasks are those you still want to complete. These are the tasks or goals that you believe will set you up for success or happiness. So schedule your intermediate steps for these. If mastering the side plank will make you feel incredibly strong, schedule those mini-goals right on your calendar. Modify for a week on elbow and knee with your foot on the floor. Then lift the foot. When you’re ready lift onto your elbow and stagger your feet for the side plank. Then stack your feet, then lift onto your hand – you get the idea. You’re building your arm and core strength, and you’ll be making strides if you follow your schedule. And, by the way, this is an empowering pose. You’ll feel unbeatable.

Those urgent but unimportant tasks – like dusting – can be avoided or delegated. If you want your house cleaned before the holidays, hire a service.

And the tasks that are not urgent and unimportant can be put on your list for when you have an extra five or ten minutes between other tasks. Or if they’re fun tasks, like reading a chapter in that library book, you can fit that in as your little reward for achieving a mini-goal.

It may seem like an overwhelming job to prioritize all the tasks you have to do. But clarifying your priorities is an important step. So, don’t panic and set yourself a reasonable time to get it done. The Eisenhower Matrix can be a valuable tool. And then starts the really fun job of achieving your biggest goals.

Nurture your motivation

Setting goals is an inspiring activity. You’re fired up in anticipation of what you’ll accomplish. But then time goes by and you’re less motivated than you were. You still may want to achieve that goal but it’s not exciting. Your motivation just isn’t what it used to be. Professor of Behavioral Science Ayelet Fishbach says, “to be motivated, you either change the situation or the way you think about the situation. This is the science in one sentence.” Your goal is still there, but if you’re not still enthused about it, you have to nurture your motivation.

Change your mindset

You have to change the circumstances or the way you think about it. If you can’t change the situation, change your mindset. Professor Fishbach gives her own example. She wanted to be more active. But instead of telling herself to walk more, she got a puppy. While that shouldn’t be the only reason to get a puppy, the puppy has certainly increased the professor’s activity. Telling yourself to do something you don’t really want to do is a recipe for failing that goal. I used to have the goal of keeping an orderly desk. That didn’t work – I failed miserably. I just don’t see the point, and having a messy desk doesn’t bother me enough to change. So I dropped that goal. My motivation to achieve it did not deserve nurturing.

Goals are abandoned because the pursuit is not enjoyable

On the other hand, Fishbach’s research found that most goals are abandoned because people don’t enjoy pursuing them. If you set the goal of losing 10 pounds by the end of the year but don’t have a good enough reason to find motivation for it, you’ll probably abandon that goal. But if you receive an invitation for a party you really want to go to, and know the outfit you want to wear, and that there will be a great band to dance to, you have a better chance at maintaining your momentum.

Sustain your momentum when you nurture your motivation

But you’ll only sustain your momentum if you nurture your motivation. Fishbach found that the reason people don’t enjoy pursuing their goals is because they take too long. People are excited when they set goals and closer to the end, they can see the finish line and are excited to get there. But in the middle, their motivation is lacking.

In our example, you’ve got 2 months to get party-ready. And if you call your goal “party-ready,” that sounds more fun than “lose weight.” 2 months isn’t a lot of time in the long term, but it’s 8 weeks. 60 days. A long stretch of chocolate withdrawal. So, here’s how to nurture your motivation: set those intermediate goals. Make sure you have a goal for every week that makes sense. For the first week, eat an extra serving of veggies every day for a week. Or walk 10 more minutes every day. And at the end of the week, perhaps a slice of cheese on the veggies. Or read an extra chapter in the book you want to devour.

Nurturing your motivation helps you to achieve important goals. I’ve said it before, but it bears repeating. When you achieve goals that are important to you, you’ll feel like you can take on the world. You did it!

By understanding yourself, you can understand how to achieve the goals that are important to you. You’ll be able to nurture your motivation from the start to the finish of a project.

Try the Grow-in Instead of the Lock-in

Great Lock-in Too Restricted? Try the Grow

A while back I wrote about the Great Lock-in. There are just a couple months left of the year, and this would be the time to get ready to take down all comers in the New Year. Make sure you slay those dragons in the first quarter and achieve your goals in a flash. But that might seem too harsh and restrictive. Many folks are trying a different TikTok challenge – the 75 Grow. There aren’t quite 75 days left this year, but that shouldn’t dissuade you from trying this. The goal here is to move, do something you’d ordinarily avoid, and be creative every day. Basically, to grow three habits before the end of the year.

So before you say that this is dumb, let’s take a closer look at what happens when you grow 3 healthy habits before next year.

Movement

This part you’re probably already on board with. I’ve written about the importance of exercise, and if you exercise three or four days a week, you’re probably not sitting around all day on the other days. Even a brief walk counts to grow this habit.

Do something brave

Doing something you’d prefer to avoid every day counts as being brave, in my mind. I was brave last week and called a new dentist’s office (the dentist I’d been seeing for many years retired this last summer). I could have put it off for a few more weeks, but I knew the tooth that was giving me problems would not get better on its own. And the day after I visited my new dentist I was brave again and showed up for the No Kings rally in a neighboring town. Being brave like this increases our optimism – I was proud of myself even for making that phone call. And it also increases our resilience. We’re able to face challenges and meet them head on.

Be creative

This is the fun part of the challenge for me. Increasing our creativity opens our mind to other new things. Even if it’s doing something you’re done before, this will open new passageways in your brain and, again, increase your optimism, happiness, and resilience.

If we grow 3 healthy habits before the end of the year, we’ll be moving more, we’ll be happier and more optimistic. We’ll also be able to meet more challenges and confront more obstacles without sending us into a declining spiral. And we’ll be healthier, having moved our bodies every day.