An ending is a time for reflection

An ending is a time for reflection, and the end of the year is no exception. I don’t much like to look backward, but the year-end is a natural time to do it.

No looking backward

I don’t like to look backward because the past is done. If it didn’t go well, there’s nothing I can do to change it. If it did, well, that’s great, but you can’t live in the past. But if you’re going to look back, the end of the year is the time to do it.

No resolutions

I also don’t like to make resolutions. “I resolve …” has a negative connotation. More often than not, the sentence continues, “… to not eat sugar.” Or “ … to work out every day.” But, really, how realistic is that? I don’t believe in absolutes – I believe in moderation. Everything is a possibility in moderation. Chocolate? Definitely. Financial stability? Working on it. A little bit at a time, and everything will get done.

But an ending is a time for reflection. Take a look back. Look at the good, the lessons learned, the things we wish we’d done differently. 

And if there’s an ending, it follows that a beginning follows. I like the idea of a fresh start. Clean slate. 

Be smart and plan

An ending is a time for reflection - and highlighters are tools for the next step - looking forward.
Highlighters are great tools for categorizing my brain dump.

But to ensure that my year starts the way I want it to, I have to be smart and plan for what I want to achieve. So I start with a brain dump. This can take me a while, because I have many, many thoughts flitting around my brain. They’re the ones that keep me up at night. Get everything I have to do, want to do, or think I might need to do, down on paper. I find that actual paper and pen (or pencil) is most useful for this exercise. Sometimes taking a walk around the house can spark a reminder. There are no filters with this – get everything down so there are no stray thoughts in your brain. Now I classify everything. Business-related, personal, dogs, or anything else. Colored highlighters are helpful with this.

Now for every classification, prioritize. Things that are urgent, necessary at some point, and the “It would be nice” priorities.

Look at the big picture

Take a couple of days for this. Make sure you take into consideration the things that you really want to accomplish in the coming year, or quarter, or month. Because you can do this exercise whenever you need to. Any given Wednesday is fine, or at the end of a semester, or the start of a week. It could be that you decide to take a different route in your business or things happen in your life that change your direction. No matter – you’re not tied to a specific date.

An endings is a time for reflection, and a time to look forward.

Have fun this holiday season

Have fun this holiday season! Have a snowball fight with your siblings!
Have a snowball fight with your siblings! Have fun this holiday season.

Have fun this holiday season! Loads of fun! Never, ever moderate your fun. That’s what the season is about – fun and family. Cherish your time with loved ones. Enjoy every moment you have together. Watch that cheesy old movie. If you have snow, go out and build a snowman with your siblings – you’re never too old to build snow people. Or have a snowball fight – no rocks, though.

Watch the whipped cream…

And then when your toes are all cold, go inside and enjoy a hot beverage. Warm up from the inside – tea warms me up the fastest. Hot chocolate cools down too quickly – especially with cold whipped cream. (It does sound good to me, though…)

For people like me who’ve struggled with my weight my whole life, I keep a calorie count in my head of what I’m consuming. Hot chocolate with whipped cream has more than I’m willing to spend. I’d rather save those calories for something else.

Never, ever deny yourself!

I always say, “Moderation in everything” and I never deny myself anything I really want. But I have to really want that something if it’s super-high in fat and / or calories. Much of the time when I think I might want something, I do something else for a few minutes and after that I don’t want it so much anymore. In the hot chocolate example – what’s for dessert? If that’s something I’d rather have – like chocolate cake, I’ll skip the hot chocolate or the whipped cream and save those calories for dessert.

Don’t rely on food for happiness

I’ve learned that most of the time food is not the thing that makes me happy. Sure – I’m happy when I’m eating our Pasta Bolognese or pizza from my favorite pizzeria, but I don’t need food to be happy.

If one of your goals is to be fit, an essential part of fitness is eating right. And chocolate – anything – in large quantities cannot be considered eating right! Once in a while a major chocolate indulgence is great (and a little chocolate every day is a necessity!), but if you’re trying to get fit, a daily sundae is out.

Happiness must come from things other than food for us to become fit, healthy and happy. In fact Deepak Chopra told Oprah Winfrey that true happiness comes from within – aiming for internal fulfillment rather than external fulfillment, giving to others, and appreciation for natural beauty, among other things.

Have fun this holiday season – be happy with your family and other loved ones. Gain fulfillment from your surroundings – go outside for walks. Enjoy the world.

Take a step back and things will get done

Feeling blah but overwhelmed?

Exercise helps me release stress.
If I’m going to tackle my to-do list, I need a workout.

Are you you feeling blah but still have a multitude of things on your list that have to get done? Then take a step back. If your to-do list has gotten out of control, it’s time to take a step back to reassess. Figure out if everything on there is really necessary. If you’ve just been adding to your list without evaluating the items on it, it’s probably time for a to-do list overhaul.

If you’re feeling stressed about everything you have to do, perhaps the first thing is to release some stress with an intense workout. I always find that I’m better able to focus after I’ve exercised.

Lists are good

I’m a firm advocate of lists. The more lists I have, the happier I am. My Google Keep screen is my happy place. That’s where I store all my notes and lists. If something is on a list, I don’t have to remember it. As I’m getting older, I find that every little bit helps. Every few days, though, I revisit the lists and see if I can delete anything – if my priorities have shifted or if I’ve done things without crossing them off my list.

Although crossing things off a list is one of the best feelings in the world. Plus, the act of crossing items off your to-do list is a stress reducer too.

To-do list overload? Take a step back to reassess

If your to-do list is overwhelming, take 15 – 20 minutes and redo it. Take a step back and go through your to-do list to make it more manageable. Take a look at your existing list and copy to your new list the things that are still important to you to get done. If your situation has changed, don’t hesitate to leave things off your new list. Once you’ve finished copying old items, put them in priority order. (Crucial, Important, Nice and Can Wait.) Then add any new items with their priorities noted. Put your new “Crucial” items at the top of yet another new list, and follow with your other items. If you’ve copied “Crucial” items from your old list, time to reassess: chances are they’re not that “crucial” after all.

Now, every day identify 3 or 4 crucial items to get done and perhaps a couple more things you’d like to see off your list.

So, to move forward toward your goals, take a step back to reassess the things on your to-do list. Make sure that the items on your list actually move you closer to your goals.

You’re worth it

Last week I asked if it had been a while since you focused on yourself. And I was kind of surprised that the answer for many was, “Yes.” Because you’re worth it. You’re worth the effort of focus and determination. And certainly you’re worth taking the best care.

Like those oxygen masks

It’s been a while … OK, quite a while … since I’ve flown anywhere. But during the safety announcement they always tell the passengers to put their own oxygen mask on first, and then put a mask on their child. Because If you pass out from lack of oxygen, no one will be there to put a mask on the child.

It’s the same point with focusing on yourself. Make time to exercise. Learn how to prepare healthy meals. Pay attention to your health – both physical and mental.

Take care of yourself first so that you can take care of your family. If you take care of yourself , then you’ll be around to enjoy family and friends.

My family thanks me when I exercise

An intense workout improves my mood. I'm worth it.
An intense workout improves my mood. My family is thankful and you’re worth it.

Exercise will keep your muscles and heart strong. It also helps flexibility. And, it may seem counterintuitive that an activity that makes you sweat, pant and turn red in the face will make you happier, it’s true. (More reasons to exercise.) Those post-workout endorphins are real. When I’m in a bad mood, or feeling tense and anxious, an intense workout helps my mood. My family thanks the DVD player for that when I’m done…

You’re adding years

Maintaining a healthy weight will add years to your life. Or, certainly, keep the years you’re around healthier, according to the American Heart Association. When you maintain a healthy weight, you’re less likely to develop certain chronic illnesses like diabetes and heart disease, and you may be less likely to get cancer. How do you get to that healthy weight? It’s mostly what you eat! So figuring out that nutritious yet delicious meal plan is essential.

So, if you’ve let yourself come last – it’s time to change that! Focus on yourself. You’ll thank yourself for (hopefully) many years.

Focus on yourself – for your health

Be mindful when you start to focus on yourself. Start slow so you can continue.
Focus on yourself – so you’re healthy for the long haul!

I can picture it… There you are, living your life. Seemingly happy with your family, your job, your home, your friends. It’s been a while since you actually focused on yourself, so one day you may realize that there could be so much more to your life. If you could move better. Zip your pants. Not feel so bloated in the evening. And all those prescriptions. Taking a good, hard look at your daily life you may come to the conclusion that, “Yeah, it’s good, but it could be better. I need to get fit.” You need to focus on yourself!

What a reckoning moment! When we decide that our own fitness is a way to be happier and be more for our loved ones, it’s an earth-shattering decision.

There’s no easy fix, though. If it’s been a while since you made yourself a priority, it’s going to take a while to reap the benefits of that major decision. Make sure you start right and focus on yourself so that you can achieve the results you want.

The food

We all need to eat to survive. Chances are, if it really has been a while since you focused on your fitness, the foods you eat may not be the healthiest. I’m not a nutritionist, but I do know that what we eat is reflected in our body. When we eat right – watching the calories, reducing the fat, added sugar and salt, and eating more vegetables – our health improves and we lose weight.

The exercise

Exercise can help you “burn” more calories, so it does help us to lose weight. But, I think, more importantly, exercise is a mood-lifter. We feel happier when those endorphins post-exercise kick in. Exercise boosts energy and also helps to combat some diseases.

But start small

If it’s been a while since you focused on yourself, start with the little things. If you usually enjoy a scoop of ice cream for dessert, don’t cut it out entirely. Or if your servings of potatoes take up most of your plate, don’t eliminate your mash. Just reduce the serving. Maybe go for half of what you’ve been used to. 

I’ve always been a firm believer of “Everything in Moderation.” If you cut all the good stuff out, you’re much less likely to stick with a plan. Perhaps, if you’re feeling it, enjoy your mashed potatoes, but cut out the cake and have fruit for dessert. I enjoy a couple of spoonsful (teaspoons – don’t get crazy!) of super-rich chocolate ice cream most nights.

Well-known fitness trainer Sohee Lee even advises the moderation approach. Especially at first, moderation is the key. More than that is unsustainable. Cutting all indulgences will just make you want them more. But if you have a tiny bit of whatever you’re craving, you’ll most likely be satisfied.

Start small with exercise too. I wrote about starting to exercise a little while ago. If you haven’t exercised in a while, start with a short walk after dinner a couple of days a week. Gradually extend the time and add another day or two in a few weeks. If you’re wanting more, search out a fitness class you think you can stick with. Be honest with yourself. Don’t attempt too much because that, too, is unsustainable. The last thing you want when you’re just beginning your fitness journey is an injury or pain. Now, a little bit of muscle soreness is to be expected if you’re using muscles you haven’t used in a while. But if you can’t walk for days after a workout, that’s not a good thing. Starting slow means that you’ll maintain your healthy progress. 

Fitness is a journey. No one ever says, “I’m fit. Now I can quit.” There’s no quitting. Eating right, exercising and attending to your mental health is something you do for life.

I feel like an elephant today

I feel bloated like an elephant today. If you do too, stick to your fitness plan.

Did you ever wake up and, after you do your usual morning stuff, say to yourself, “I feel like an elephant today?” Everything feels fat and bloated, even more than usual. Even my hands and feet feel bloated. Don’t get me wrong – I love elephants. I think elephants are among the cutest beings on the planet.

I don’t want to feel like an elephant

But I don’t want to feel like one. Elephants usually move slowly and deliberately. (Except for when your safari jeep gets between a mama and her calf. But that’s a story for another day.) That is not how I want to move. I want to feel light and energetic. I want to feel like I can move effortlessly. 

I’m pretty sure that you have this feeling sometimes too. I may have eaten too much salty food yesterday and I’m retaining water. Or I just plain ate too much. Or I didn’t get enough sleep. Any of these could lead to feelings of heaviness.

Stick to your fitness plan

First thing to do is not obsess about it. Feeling like you have to wear a giant muumuu to cover everything up can lead to feelings of depression. Don’t let it. Everyone feels this way at some point. And even if you feel it, it’s not visible. This article describes how I pull myself out of the dumps.

Next – drink more water. It may seem counter-intuitive to drink water if you’re retaining water, but it’s one step in the right direction. If you like to drink carbonated beverages, try to replace them with water. That carbonation can lead to excess gas not only in the beverage, but in your system.

It’s important to move!

Take a walk. This can diminish that bloated feeling right away. And over time, if you move more, you won’t feel bloated so frequently. Yes, this is another reason to exercise regularly!

Gradually add more fiber and probiotics to your diet. This tip is not an instant cure. Adding additional fiber to your diet is a long-term improvement and will improve your digestion over time.

But right now?

No matter how you feel, you don’t look different. You’re still the same person inside and out. So if you’re self-conscious and want to wear baggy shirts and pants for a couple of days, that’s OK. When I’m feeling bloated, I have to remind myself that no one is looking at how tight (or not) my pants are. I’m still me – tight waistband or not.

Maintaining Your Motivation

You’ve been eating right and exercising for a few weeks now. Congratulations! It’s been going pretty well. You’re hanging in there. But every once in a while that muffin looks better than what you planned for breakfast. Or your co-workers are going to your favorite sandwich shop for lunch. And there’s that piece of cake left over from your significant other’s birthday. Maintaining your motivation through all the temptations is really hard.

And it doesn’t get easier.

Five Keys to Maintaining your Motivation

So, how do you maintain your motivation? How do you stick to the plan? These five methods help me maintain a healthy lifestyle every day.

1. Take Each Day as it Comes

One day at a time – Today is the only day that matters in your “healthier you” plan. Yesterday is gone. No matter how “good” you were yesterday (and congratulations for that!), it doesn’t matter today. Keep that date you set up for yourself today in your calendar. (You’re doing that, right? A few weeks ago we talked about forming healthy habits, and a key point was making that recurring appointment with yourself on every day you wanted to exercise.) Make every food decision count especially on days that eating right is a challenge. For every meal you prepare, ask yourself if it’s a good choice for you.

2. Just Get Going

The final stretch with my dog. Just do it, don't agonize over working out. That's maintaining your motivation.

Don’t think too much about your workout preparation – On days that you really don’t want to exercise, just do it. Shake yourself mentally and don’t think about the things you’d rather be doing (like watching TV, reading a book, lying on the couch). Just change into your workout gear and start to exercise. Promise yourself you’ll do 10 minutes of your workout. Before you know it, you’ll be cooling down and looking forward to that final stretch.

3. Reflection

Reflect on how far you’ve come. Just a couple of weeks ago you knew you should start an exercise program and healthy eating plan but were confused about how to start and what to do. And now you’re crushing it! A great way to keep going is to put these reflections in a journal. (Check out my Gratitude and Happiness Journal on Amazon.) Every day, think about what you’re happy you’ve accomplished and write it down. When you go back and read these reflections, you can’t help but feel motivated to carry on. (Writing these thoughts down will also give you a great sense of gratitude, and we know that happiness follows gratitude, and resilience follows happiness and optimism!)

4. Visualize

Visualize yourself maintaining your motivation. Picture yourself eating a plate of vibrant greens with your family and enjoying it! Better yet – you’re all eating that wonderful salad and loving it. Feel how you’d like to be, at the place you enjoy the most, with the people you love most. Picture yourself at a party, enjoying yourself, holding a glass (a champagne flute?) of sparkling water. I can’t tell you to picture yourself exercising and loving it, because I can’t do that myself. But I do it so that the other pictures can become realities.

5. Your “Why”

Your reason for sticking to your plan. Finally, and probably the easiest way of maintaining your motivation – remember your reason for starting in the first place. Whether your reason is for your family or for your own future, remember that. You’re eating right and exercising to lower your blood pressure, to improve your cardiac conditioning, to improve your cognition and memory. 

These five methods will keep you on the straight and narrow. Maintaining your motivation will be easy.

Pull yourself out of the dumps

Some days are real downers. On those days, it’s easy to see how some may become chronically depressed. You’re so sad that even though you don’t drink to excess, a cocktail sounds mighty good. At 2:00 in the afternoon. Not even the sunshine can cheer you up. Your adorable dog doing something amazingly cute can only make your mouth turn up a little. You don’t see how you’ll ever be happy again. But it is possible to pull yourself out of the dumps.

I’m not a psychologist, so I can only use myself as an example. But I’m pretty average, so it works.

My personal trash heap – Time to pull myself out of the dumps

The pandemic is still running rampant, but fortunately vaccines have been approved and are available. But not widely available here. I’m lucky enough to live in a Village that has its own Health Department which has vaccine clinics available by appointment. However, the supply in my area is extremely limited and the demand far outstrips the supply. I’m so happy that most people in my area want to get vaccinated, but every time I learn by email that supply is available and try to make an appointment, they’re all gone. No appointments available at local pharmacies either. My friends have been vaccinated. My sister got her first dose. Even my 20-year-old neighbor got his. I know that I will probably have an opportunity soon, but in the meantime I’m sad and frustrated.

I hardly ever remember my dreams. But a couple of days ago I dreamed of my mom, who’s been gone for over 20 years. I miss her every day, so it was great seeing her. I woke up and tears started flowing. 

When I add my newer physical ailments to these things, I’m even more sad. Every so often my thumb joint hurts like crazy and it’s hard to hold things in my left hand. It’s good that I’m right-handed, but it’s still painful.

Wallow? Not me…

So yesterday I felt myself wallowing. I decided it was time to pull myself out of the dumps!

I started with some deep diaphragm breathing. Sitting straight, bring air in through your nose and let your diaphragm inflate. Hold your breath for a couple of seconds, then breathe out. 

Meditation is one step to pull yourself out of the dumps.

Then a little meditation. Just a couple of minutes. I use my own guided meditations. (I’m a fan of the water, so the River and Ocean ones are my favorites.) Eyes closed, seated comfortably – and not in the Lotus position. My knees don’t move that way.

A couple of shoulder rolls followed. It was my regular workout time, so I changed and chose a really sweaty routine. I’ve written about focus enough lately that you know I was completely into the workout. (https://fitness-over-50.com/2021/04/no-one-is-watching-so-just-do-it/ ) And it was done almost before I knew it. A nice warm shower made me feel almost human again. 

And while I can’t say that I was happy after all of that, I was definitely less sad.

So, it is possible to pull yourself out of the dumps. And trying these methods is certainly more appealing than wallowing in your own tears.

Add aerobics and improve your balance

I frequently stress the importance of improving balance, especially as we age. The aging process naturally diminishes our balance since our senses tend to deteriorate. Vision and depth perception diminish, as well as the vestibular system of the inner ear. Even our sense of touch, especially the ability to feel the floor when our foot touches down, tends to diminish as we get older. All of these contribute to decreasing our balance. Strength, coordination and reaction time also diminish as we age, contributing to loss of balance. Pretty depressing, but it’s better than the alternative.

Adding aerobics to your balance exercises can increase stamina and endurance.

In addition to the balance exercises that I include in the Week of Balance download, aerobic exercise can improve your balance. Of course, movement of any kind can help with balance, but it’s very easy to just sit down and not think about moving. So a planned exercise session most days is an easy way to get our movement in if there’s nothing else on the schedule.

Increasing stamina and endurance

Personal trainer Sabrena Jo who is certified in working with seniors and is the American Council of Exercise director of research content says, “one reason people tend to trip or fall is that they have low stamina or endurance.” By adding aerobic activity we increase both cardiovascular stamina and endurance. Plus, it’s usually done to music which enhances our optimism. An added bonus is that an aerobics class can burn a lot of calories!

Aerobics also burns fat and calories

Aerobics has always been a favorite to burn fat and calories. It reduces the risk of heart disease, can help lower blood pressure, stroke and certain types of cancer. It can also improve cognition. And aerobics is a weight-bearing exercises so it can lower your risk of osteoporosis.

Of course, if you’re going to add aerobics to your exercise regimen, be sure to check with your doctor. And choose your aerobics wisely. If you have bad knees, take that into consideration.

One final note: be sure to add an aerobics exercise that you will do regularly. Once and done will do absolutely nothing for your balance, your heart, your weight or your bones. Choose an aerobic activity that you’ll look forward to doing.

As old as you feel

Don’t dwell on the numbers. They don’t matter (except for Medicare and Social Security, and taxes). You’ve heard the old saying, “You’re only as old as you feel.” Yes, some days you might feel creaky or fragile and feel like you’re a hundred and two. I know I do. But I try not to let that affect my activities for the day. I may move a little slower on those days, but I try to keep on moving.

Don’t get stuck in the ground

Because stagnation will make you plant roots. And while some roots are great – like friends and family, a home that you love or a community that keeps you grounded. But other roots will make you sluggish and slow. And make you feel that you really can’t do what you want to. Just because you’re 50, 60 or 70 – that doesn’t mean that you’re unable to reach your goals. Don’t think about the dwindling number of years you may have left. Think about all the great days ahead of you.

Workout choice to fit my feeling

Yesterday I admit that I was feeling a little funky, but I knew I’d feel guilty if I didn’t work out as I planned. I chose a favorite non-impact Pilates workout. By the time the half hour was up, I felt much better. This is a workout that focuses primarily on core strength, but uses resistance bands to really challenge you. Familiar moves like “The 100,” and “Circle Teaser” are taken to the next level with those bands. So, in addition to your core being strengthened, your arms are getting stronger too.

Side Plank Star

As old as you feel - not with the side plank star move.

When the workout was over, I felt so much better that I decided to try and do the Side Plank Star move that I had a photo done a few years ago. This move uses the core, the legs, the arms … just about everything. It’s a fun move that challenges your balance as well. Plus it looks cool. (Start in a side plank position and lift the top leg. Be sure you’re on a non-slip surface.) So yesterday, I started out feeling like I was 100 years old, but ended up much younger than that!