We are limited by things we tell ourselves. Psychologists call this “self-limiting beliefs.” These are things we really believe at the moment we say it. Things like, “I’m too old to travel.” Or, “I’m not qualified to apply for that job.” Or, “I could never do that yoga pose.” Assumptions that you have about yourself can be dangerous – because they could become true. They don’t start out that way, but in your own brain they can grow and become more negative. The more you believe that you’re too old for something, too out of shape, not qualified, the more these things become true. These beliefs limit your future. They limit what you can become. Believing that you can’t do something kills your motivation before you even begin. But if you change your mindset you can upgrade your life.
Start small
If this is a new concept for you, don’t start trying to change the big things in your brain. It won’t work because you won’t believe yourself. Start small with things that are easy.
For example, every two weeks I cook from scratch for my sister and me on my day off. Usually there’s enough to put half in the big upright freezer in the basement to defrost and enjoy for dinner in a month or so. We had a backup, though – there were four containers in the big freezer! So I thought that perhaps I would just make something for that night only. One of our favorites – BLT Pizza! It’s like a BLT sandwich but on pizza, with lots of cheese holding the bacon in place. Not exactly low-fat, but we don’t have it often. But I thought – but, I always make a pasta dish to freeze. What if we don’t have enough later in the month? Maybe I’ve lost my touch making pizza. My sister might not like the idea. Then I thought to myself: “Get over it. It’s my night to cook. This is what I want to make. My sister can like it or she can find something else to eat. And we will not run out of things to eat.” Of course, my sister loved it, and we’ve still got plenty of leftovers in the freezer.
If you wake up grumpy, change your mindset right away. Next time you’re in a bad mood when you wake up, smile at yourself in the mirror. You may feel stupid, but no one else is going to see you. And that small act can change your mindset. Try it!
Then go bigger
That pizza sure made me happy. The other day I tweaked my back in the shower. No idea how I did it, but I had a hard time straightening up for days. I thought to myself, “Oh, great. I fancy myself sort of a fitness expert, always focusing on how a strong core can eliminate back pain. I’m a fraud.” I went on like that in my head for a while. But then I sucked in my stomach, straightened up (still painfully) and told myself to get over it.
I’m 68 years old. Sometimes old bones and muscles and other parts hurt. If I didn’t have a strong core, my back would hurt much worse than it does. People will not think I’m a fraud. Most will empathize with me. Keep going the way I’m going. The message is still valid.
And now, 3 days later as I write this, the back pain is merely a hint of tightness. I can say without a doubt that a strong core reduced my back pain. I changed my mindset from almost accepting that I was a fraud, to a broader one of acknowledging that the message I’ve been giving is true.
Change your mindset and upgrade your life. It’s great for your healthy aging. And you’ll be happier. Never limit yourself – others will try that all too often. Your motivation is not dependent on others. You can go out and do great things. Always believe that.
