It’s commonly held that a risk for older Americans is the feeling of being excluded and isolated. It’s a danger that the National Institutes of Health addressed recently in a study. The study compared this feeling of isolation in seniors compared to younger adults. And it surprisingly found that most older adults actually know when they’re being excuded but respond to the exclusion somewhat more rationally than younger adults.
Older people recognized the exclusion
In fact, more older adults were able to recognize the exclusion but their self-esteem was higher and recognized the exclusion in the study as insignificant. They were able to analyze the moment and move on to what they felt were more important pastimes. Older people also usually have better emotional regulation. We’re better able to control our emotions when things go a little off-kilter.
As older adults, we’re not caught in the school-yard culture of insiders and outsiders. In school, there’s always a clique of popular kids that all the other kids feel compelled to emulate. And there’s always a group of outsiders. We never wanted to be in the outsider group. But as older adults, we’re removed from that clique culture.
We grow our community
This is important in many respects. One of the basic tenets to improve our resilience is to grow our community. When we interact with others, our own sense of self-worth grows, as does our resilience. A danger for many seniors is loneliness and loss of that community. As we found out a few years ago during the pandemic, it’s much easier now to be together and grow our circle, though, and many seniors are doing just that with online groups.
The study found that younger people were more likely to see the exclusion as a negative experience. But older folks took this particular isolation in stride. Perhaps because the study participants had other circles they rely on.
Community is key
Americans are taught to deal with hardship through introspection and careful examination of our thoughts, feelings, and behavior. But Psychiatrist Dr. Suzan Strong, in her new book Why We Suffer and How We Heal, reveals that some cultures deal with hardship and instability through community, which makes it easier to be together.
So, what does this mean for us older Americans? Keep growing our resilience. Keep growing our circles of friends, acquaintances, and those with common interests. Be together with them. We’re doing it right.
