resilience Archives - Page 5 of 9 - Fran's Fitness Over 50

The 3 Keys to Healthy Aging

I have an irrational distaste for going to the doctor. Of course, if I really have to go, then I will. (I’m not like my grandmother who absolutely loved going to her doctor’s appointments and all the attention she got there.) So I do everything I can for my healthy aging. It turns out that there are 3 keys to healthy aging that all work together.

Diet is first

The first of the keys to healthy aging is diet. Your nutrition, what you eat, affects everything you do. Your diet affects your brains, your bones, and muscles. Eating a healthy diet has been shown to reduce your risk of heart disease, stroke and cancer, among other health concerns. It also affects your mental health. Eating well can lessen your likelihood of developing depression or anxiety. If you eat a healthy diet, you’re more likely to keep to an exercise plan. And you’ll sleep better. What you eat can determine the amount and quality of your sleep.

Number 2: Exercise

Exercise is the second key to healthy aging. The benefits gained from exercise are for every age. From lower blood pressure to stronger bones to better mental clarity, exercise is essential. And every type of exercise can help to improve your sleep. Of course, exercising closer to bedtime could make it more difficult to fall asleep. I always have more energy after I exercise, so I don’t even try to take a nap after a workout.

Sleep is Last But Not Least

And sleep is the third key. Sleep gives your body and your brain time to recover from the day’s exertions. Without proper quality sleep, you have a higher risk of certain conditions like stroke, heart disease and diabetes. When you get enough sleep, you have better energy for all the activities you love doing during the day.

They all work together. The 3 keys to healthy aging make you more resilient and able to tackle everything life throws at you. Sleep and a good diet gives you the energy to exercise. Exercise and sleep help you make good choices, both in your diet and in the rest of your life. And, of course, diet and exercise keep you healthy and happy.

Your fitness journey is yours alone

The instructor in one of my favorite fitness program videos says “Fitness is a journey, not a destination.” And that couldn’t be more right. You can never say, “I’m fit, so I don’t have to exercise or watch what I eat any more.” You’re never done. And your journey toward fitness is yours alone.

Your goals are different than mine

It’s different than mine, or your partner’s, or your sister’s. Your fitness goals are different than my goals. You may want washboard abs. I don’t think they’re necessary.Feeling better and being fit improves my resilience. I may have a fitness goal of being able to run 8 miles an hour. You probably don’t care about how fast you run. We’re all different. Each of our fitness journeys is correct and right for us. We have to change our mindset to accept and appreciate our uniqueness.

A break in the fitness journey

The fact that we’re never done with our journey to fitness hit home to me recently. If you’ve been exercising regularly for a while and stop for a week, you know that you’ll be sore all over again. I had Covid and just didn’t feel up to exercising for a few days. I started up again,but my muscles were sore, I wasn’t as strong, and I was winded more quickly than before I was sick. So I started my journey again. There’s no destination. My journey to fitness is ongoing. And yours probably is too. I consider myself “fit,” and I want to stay that way.

Being truly alive means staying fit

If we’re alive, don’t we want to be truly alive? Experience new things, taste new flavors, smell new aromas? All that means staying fit. We may want to share our journeys, but we don’t want to be dependent on our traveling companions. We want to be able to walk around new cities. Visit new shops and restaurants. And being fit means not slowing our traveling companions down.

Everyone’s journey has similarities

Everyone’s fitness journey has similarities. We have to plan our workouts and nutrition. Everyone has to figure out how to vary the exercises we do so we don’t overuse muscles. And we each have to measure our progress against the goals we set for ourselves somehow.

So, enlist others to go on your fitness journey with you. Walk with a friend. Commiserate about a tough workout with a classmate. Bitch and moan about running with relatives. And remember they’re on their own fitness journey.

Waste time to get motivated

So this morning I woke up early, thinking I could write maybe a thousand words in my novel. I was at a crucial point, but a couple of days ago, the last time I tackled this document, I got stuck. I’m at a crucial plot point, and I couldn’t figure out how to resolve the issue. So today, after I got back from the bathroom and made sure the dogs were still sleeping soundly, I turned on my keyboard, got my phone, and was immediately distracted by a news story. Funny, now, I don’t even remember what that story was. I must have wasted ten minutes scrolling the news after reading that story.

Then I shook myself (mentally) and told myself to get to work. Opened the Google Doc and started banging the keyboard. No breaks for about a half hour, until I had to get up and start the day. I didn’t quite make it to a thousand words, but came close. It turns out that it’s actually a proven productivity method: waste time to get motivated.

Scroll social media?

In fact, Joi Foley of the Rockwood Leadership Institute, advocates scrolling social media as a way to get away from the pressure you put on yourself when you’re stuck. If you’re working on a project and are stymied on where to take it, chances are your path will become clear after a break. And scrolling your social media accounts for a few minutes can provide that break. Thinking about a great bread pudding recipe, for example, can let your mind solve that other, totally unrelated, problem. The key here is to get back on track after a few minutes. If you like this solution to problem-solving, you may want to use an app to get you back to your task after a set time period.

Do nothing

Another way Foley can waste time to get motivated is to do nothing. Just sit and breathe. I’ve advocated meditation myself. It’s sometimes hard to get the noises out of your head, though, to meditate properly. Perhaps a short guided meditation can help you focus on something else.

Work for 5 minutes

So another time-waster Foley suggests is to just work for 5 minutes. Goodness knows, sometimes those 5 minutes can seem like forever when I’m working on a project I wasn’t looking forward to. So after those 5 minutes are up, do something else. Chances are, you’ll start thinking about the project you left and get the urge to start working on it again.

Take a walk

I also advocate a change of scenery. Take a short walk. That often helps me clear my head and want to dive into a project when I get back. Taking a walk not only helps productivity but also contributes to your happiness.

All this time-wasting is contributing to your productivity. By strategically doing other things, and thinking about other stuff, you’re actually doing more to get the stuff you really want to get done, done. And that will make you happier, more optimistic, and more resilient. It contributes to your healthy aging and you’ll get the urge to get even more stuff done.

Just one more!

I don’t know too many people who are excited to exercise. I’m not. I do it because the benefits I get from exercise allow me to do the things I actually want to do. But I know that in order for the exercise to keep giving me those benefits, I have to keep challenging myself. You probably know that many days I do my workouts with a pre-recorded program. I pick up my weights and follow along. As the years have gone by, I’ve increased the intensity and the weights I use. I’ve gotten stronger, and the old weights were no longer challenging. I also want to be able to do more regular push-ups because I want to get stronger. To motivate myself, I tell myself, “Just one more!”

The key to motivation

And that’s the key to motivation. “Just one more” can be your watchword, your spark, for anything you’ve got in your sights. One more pound to lift. Run another tenth of a mile. Walk one more block. Write another chapter. Knit another row. The sky’s the limit when you tell yourself, “Just one more!”

Stagnation is the worst thing

I believe that the worst thing we can do is stagnate. If we don’t grow, if we don’t evolve, then I think we can just dig a hole and get comfortable there. By growing and developing new talents we learn more about ourselves and the world.

Develop a “growth mindset”

And in challenging ourselves, we develop what’s known as a “growth mindset.” We aren’t satisfied with the way things are now, with ourselves. We know that we can be better. We can become more fit, for ourselves and the people who love us. And we can explore more things. We’re not satisfied with our current knowledge base. Sometimes that’s scary. But by learning more about the things that scare us they lose the aspects that we fear. We can bounce back and become more resilient as fewer things scare us. Sure, there are other scary things out there, but we may have to look harder for them.

When we can do “Just one more,” then perhaps we can do two more, and conquer the world that much faster.

Don’t use fear as a motivator

It’s Fall – when we strive to prevent falls

It’s officially Fall according to the calendar, and my reminder to focus on my balance exercises. It’s an unkind fact – as we get older we not only gain more wisdom (that’s a good thing), we also lose things. Like our eyesight, our hearing, our hair (for some), our bone density, and our sense of balance. Falls are a primary cause of sending us seniors to the hospital. And once we’ve fallen, we live in fear of falling again. We may not be able to do much about our eyesight and hearing, but we can work to improve our balance. Fear of falling is a powerful nudge to get us working on our balance, but don’t use fear as a motivator.

Negative motivators are powerful

Fear has been called the most powerful motivator to get us to do something. And it certainly works. For a while. But we become fatigued. We can’t live in fear day in and day out. It’s not enough to be afraid of falling to get us to do the simple balance exercises. Fear tends to paralyze us. And if we don’t fall one day, or two, or a week, then we lose the motivation. We’re still afraid of falling, because the memory is there, but it’s no longer so powerful.

I learned a lot about aging

I started my balance journey a number of years ago after I fell and injured my knee and hips. It’s true that knowing our balance diminishes is often not enough to get us to work on it, though. In fact, I didn’t know about that aspect of aging until I started doing some research. I didn’t like the fact that losing balance is a natural part of aging, so I decided to see if there was something to do about it. Happily, I also learned that simple exercises (you can do the Core-Centered Balance Moves too) can help us regain the balance we’ve lost over time. This is a long-term prospect. Much like general exercises for the rest of our bodies, the benefits are lost if we don’t do them and they’re cumulative if we keep on doing the exercises. So we need additional motivation to keep us working on our balance.

Negative motivators are exhausting

But fear is a negative motivator, which never works as well as positive ones over time. Negative motivators are tiring. They’re unsustainable. Negative motivators work really well in the short term – like making you hurry if you’re late to an appointment and fear the consequences. Negative motivators are great at getting you to avoid doing things – like going out of your house if you’re afraid of falling. Positive motivators work much better in the long run at helping you to take action. You’ll want to go places and visit friends and family if you’re confident that you can do so safely. You’ll be able to bounce back and be more resilient if you’re confident in your independence.

So don’t use fear as a motivator to practice your balance moves. Instead, think of the confidence you’ll gain by your improved balance. You can step out of your door with confidence. You’ll revel in your independence. You’ll know that even if you do step on uneven pavement, the Inline Walking exercise that you do every week (yes, I know it looks and feels weird) will help you keep your balance.

It’s just two minutes a day. Practice your balance. Be confident.

The Rewards you Get

COVID takes your brain to interesting places. You’re sitting there and trying to focus, and your brain takes a detour down a rabbit hole. The other day I was thinking about positive reinforcement training and rewards. In my other life, I’m a dog trainer, using positive methods, and lots of rewards. So I thought, what’s different about people and motivation – people deserve great rewards when we do awesome stuff, just like our dogs do! Motivation and reward have to be linked, or I wouldn’t get things done.

Rewards in Positive Reinforcement Dog training

When I’m training my dogs, I reward things I like. That has the effect of the dogs doing that thing I liked more, so they get more rewards. Motivation and reward are linked. We say, “What gets rewarded gets repeated.” If the reward is a high value treat, my dogs want more of it. They think, “How can I get more of that yummy cheese?” Pause a moment. “Oh yeah. I was sitting.” They probably don’t use words, but I can imagine the thought process goes like that.

Rewards for Humans

When it comes down to it, people like rewards too. Our rewards might take a different form – less cheese, perhaps, and more chocolate, but cheese is good too. I have a feeling that we often disregard the “Reward” part that comes after we complete an item on our “To Do” List. And, yet, to keep us motivated, the reward plays an important part. I always say that we should celebrate every small victory! Every step toward a goal’s completion deserves a reward. Incidentally, achieving goals is also great for our optimism and our resilience.

Enlightened self-interest

Enlightened self-interest is what makes the world go around. If I don’t want to do something, I’m not going to do it unless I have a very good reason to do it. Like exercise. If I were just starting an exercise program, I’d need really good rewards to make me change into workout gear and get all out of breath and sweaty. But if I promise myself that I’ll get a new top if I stick to my program for a solid week, then I’ll stick with it.

Hierarchy of rewards

But not every reward is the same. Just like I do for my dogs, we should have a hierarchy of rewards for us. For a dog, kibble is at the low end of the hierarchy and hot dog may be at the high end. For us? Perhaps taking a five-minute breathing break is at the low end of the reward spectrum, and a new set of colored gel pens at the high.

Or if the task is more difficult, then a new pair of shoes may qualify as a high-end reward. As a reward, that pair of shoes carries much more value than a 5-minute break, so the task it’s rewarded for must be more difficult or time-consuming. Pair the reward with the task. And make sure that the reward is something you really want. You won’t be motivated to perform the task by that reward if you don’t care if you receive it or not!

Don’t wait until it’s finished for a reward

You may think that the carrot dangling on the end of the stick will see that task done to completion. But research has shown that a reward given when a task is started helps to keep us working. If we like the reward, then we have a positive association between it and the task, and it keeps us going. And this immediate reward doesn’t have to be big, either. The study showed that smaller, more frequent rewards had a bigger influence on a person’s motivation to complete a task than a bigger reward when the task was complete. The person’s mindset was changed to continue the task even for a smaller reward.

Motivation and rewards are linked – so make sure you’re clear on what your reward is for performing a task. Make sure the reward is something you actually want. And rewarding yourself for starting a project may just keep you going through to the end.

It doesn’t have to be fancy

The concept of creating goals for yourself may seem intense and scary. You may picture sitting at a very professional-looking desk with an open journal, colored pens and rulers. A couple of screens and a fancy keyboard may occupy a corner of the desk. But it doesn’t have to be fancy. Planning for your future can be as no-frills as you want it. Whether it’s a goal to become more fit, to eat right, to earn a million dollars, to buy a new house, setting your goals can be as simple as you like. Get a piece of paper and start writing.

Fitness goal? No-frills is best

If one of your goals is fitness, no-frills may be best. You don’t need special equipment or specific workout gear. You just have to be specific about exactly what you want and a timetable to get there. If you know that you want to do strength training two times a week, your own body weight can help you out. It doesn’t have to be fancy. Just today I read about 2 celebrities who used mainly body-weight exercises while touring and on location.

Carrie Underwood, country music superstar, worked with a trainer recently on tour to keep her endurance up. She said, “”I try to make the most of my time. I have changed my focus. Instead of just trying to get those external results that I wanted, my goals have changed. I want to be stronger, I want to live longer; those are the things that I want now other than just, ‘I want to fit into that.'” Underwood’s goals and wellness practices still aren’t big or splashy; rather, her habits are things she can “stick with forever,” and that’s what she recommends for others as well. Don’t get fancy – just get it done.

And Pedro Pascal, star of “The Mandalorian,” took a similar approach while on location filming the movie “The Last of Us.” There was no equipment, so he had to rely on body-weight moves for the mobility and movement he needed for the character.

Make a date with yourself

If becoming more fit is one of your goals, there’s no need to join a gym or invest in expensive equipment. Make a date with yourself a few times a week to go for a walk. Have a half-hour dance session. Cue up your favorite playlist and move. Don’t break those dates with yourself! Working toward your fitness goals will make you more optimistic and you’ll feel more powerful and resilient.

Test the waters first for other goals too

And the same kind of thing follows for your other goals. Start by testing the waters. If you want to save money, think about easy ways to start. Don’t buy the most expensive coffee drink. Make coffee at home every day. If you invest in an inexpensive coffee maker (I use a single-cup French Press coffee maker that costs under $10) and a can of coffee grounds, you may find that you like it even better than the expensive stuff you buy at coffee shops you have to travel to. Make your lunch at home a few times a week. Limit your restaurant spending. Maybe don’t buy those shoes this month. Start small.

Achieving your goals doesn’t have to be fancy. Keep working at it. Figure out ways to start small and grow from there.

Challenge the aging stereotypes

Halle Berry, in my opinion, is still one of the world’s most beautiful women. She’s 57 (!) now, and in the throes of menopause. But she’s not letting that phase of life shut her down, as she indicates she once thought it might. Halle Berry is changing her own reality and embracing the life changes menopause has brought her. Berry said, “I’m challenging all those stereotypes about how you have to look a certain way or feel a certain way. I’m my best self now … I have the most to offer.” We’re old enough that we don’t have to conform to society’s rules. So often we women feel compelled to think of others before ourselves, to conform to others’ rigid standards and do what others think we should. I’m with Halle – let’s challenge the aging stereotypes.

No more “little old ladies”

Gone is the “little old lady” stereotype. We used to think of “little old ladies” as stooped over, hobbling with a cane and wearing a shawl. Needing a driver to take us to the grocery store where we picked up our meager staples for the week. Yes, we might be shrinking in stature (thank you, gravity!), but we’re more vital and our views are more valid than ever.

Independent, but community has value

We see the world from the viewpoint of “been there, done that” – we’ve raised families, lost parents, and seen the best and worst of society from the vantage point of our homes and workplaces. We’re fiercely independent, yet community is still an important part of our lives – even if some days that community is just online. Our social media groups allow us to maintain the connections we so badly need for our resilience and our sanity. When you join a group on social media, you know you’ve got at least one thing in common with the other members. We’re not afraid to engage in discussions over controversial topics even if some others try to put us down. Our viewpoints are valid and we should express them.

And while it’s imperative to feel connected in some ways to others, we’re still individuals. Our choices don’t look like our friends’ choices. What we do with our days is no one’s business but ours. If we have more free time during the day, yay us! We can still be motivated to make positive changes in our lives and the lives of others.

Everyone’s journey is different

I choose to train dogs and I write about how my fitness journey impacts the rest of my life. I also write about how I stay motivated to continue it in the hope that it inspires others to be motivated to succeed in whatever endeavor they wish. It’s not the vocation I expected when I was “downsized” from a major corporation many years ago, but it’s one I embrace now.

As we all get older, we must recognize that we are each more than the niche society wants to stick us in. We all can challenge the aging stereotypes. Just get out there and get interested in whatever the world offers.

How to be resilient and motivated

In recent years we’ve heard that we need to be resilient to be able to withstand all that life throws at us, through the pandemic, political turmoil, weather extremes due to climate change. And we’ve all had this picture of someone who’s resilient: standing tall, perhaps at the edge of a cliff, arms akimbo, staring ahead with a stern expression. This person is mentally tough. She’s got what it takes to take whatever life throws at her. But, does this person have what it takes to still get things done? Is she motivated to still check things off her list? Or is she too busy fending off life’s arrows to maintain her motivation? Here’s why I think it’s not mutually exclusive to be both resilient and motivated.

Resilience defined

To be resilient you have to be able to recover quickly from adversity. You have to be able to take what life throws at you without wallowing. To pick yourself up, dust yourself off and move on to the next challenge. To be resilient and motivated, you have to not only pick yourself up and move on, but move on to a challenge that’s important to you.

Attributes of resilience equated to motivation

To be self-aware, you ahve to know what's inside you.

What does it take to be resilient? You have to know what’s inside you. To be self-aware. Know what makes you tick, and what motivates you. If your family is what’s important to you, then you’ll do whatever it takes for your family’s well-being.

Another aspect of being self-aware is to be mindful. Nurse practitioner Deborah Stamm at Advocate Good Shepherd Hospital says, “Mindfulness is the ability to purposefully bring one’s attention to experiences in the present moment without judgment.” If anyone is resilient in this world, it’s nurses. To be resilient, then, it’s not necessary to judge things that happen to us. Those things are neither good nor bad – they just are. They should not influence our future, nor should they taint the past. Accept them and move on. Life’s out there.

Go do things

We only get one life. It’s up to us to decide what we want to do with it. So, make goals that are important to you. And follow up on them. Set your intermediate goals and deadlines. Meet them. And then make more goals for your best life. You can be resilient and motivated at the same time. There’s no need to take a backseat in your life.

Don’t be afraid to take it slow

Two nights a week I teach Rally Obedience. Rally is kind of an esoteric sport for dog enthusiasts. It builds on basic obedience and requires some basic fundamentals so that you and your dog can successfully navigate a sort-of obstacle course. But instead of obstacles, you and your dog perform certain behaviors indicated by a sign. The most important skill to have is your dog “heeling” at your side – that is, your dog’s head stays even with your left leg as you walk. Training can take a while to be successful at Rally. I always tell my students, “Don’t be afraid to take it slow.” You’ll be even more successful when you get there!

Patience and Consistency

Don't be afraid to take it slow - at first

Many dogs have a tendency to forge ahead and pull their owners with them. It takes patience and consistency to train “heel” so that it looks and feels effortless for both of you. The way I like to train this is that when the leash gets tight and the dog starts to pull, you stop. Just stop. When your dog comes back to you to find out what’s going on, reward your dog for coming back to “heel position.” Easy. Just stop. Over time your dog will learn that being at your side is the best place in the world, because that’s where he gets the cookies.

Don’t be afraid to not get anywhere … at first

As in dog training, so in life. Don’t be afraid to not get anywhere! Even though it took one of my dogs and me three weeks of daily practice to get 20 feet from the house to the front sidewalk, we eventually went on to compete and gain obedience titles! Don’t be afraid to take it slow.

Don’t try so hard. If one of your goals is to do 25 regular push-ups, don’t be afraid to start easy. There’s always a modification so that you can build your strength. Start with 5 with your hands on a sturdy coffee table. Tomorrow do 6, the day after 8. Next week, after 7 days doing all your repetitions on an incline, try for 2 on the floor. Break up that big goal into smaller ones.

Remember the tortoise?

Researchers Teresa M. Amabile and Steven J. Kramer have found that what keeps people going – even high-powered scientists working on life-and-death projects – is that they make progress every day. Achieving small goals is still achieving goals. “Through exhaustive analysis of diaries kept by knowledge workers, we discovered the progress principle: Of all the things that can boost emotions, motivation, and perceptions during a workday, the single most important is making progress in meaningful work. And the more frequently people experience that sense of progress, the more likely they are to be creatively productive in the long run. Whether they are trying to solve a major scientific mystery or simply produce a high-quality product or service, everyday progress—even a small win—can make all the difference in how they feel and perform.”

Achieving those small wins will make you feel happier and more optimistic. It feels so good to check something off that list!

Celebrate every step along the way

That tortoise just put one foot in front of the other consistently and beat the hare. Don’t be afraid to take it slow – whatever “it” is. Celebrate every step. Accumulate your small wins every few days and make a note for your “Amazing Box.” You’ll get there.