Make your motivation more clear

I’ve said that in order to achieve your goals, you have to set goals. Many of us are frozen in that limbo of knowing that you want something … more … but not knowing exactly what it is you want. You’re unhappy with your current situation and want to change it but have no clear picture of what you’d like your situation to actually be. You just know that you want … more. That’s a problem if you really want to change your reality. My suggestion, which I’ve done multiple times over the years when I decided I wanted more – make your motivation more clear. Set aside some time – 15 minutes to a half hour – and get a pad of paper and a pen. And start thinking.

Start big, then work your way down

Think about your life – where it is now: your family, friends, work, home. Then think about how you feel about these aspects of your life. Figure out what makes you most unhappy. What about it makes you unhappy? Can you change that thing right away? If you can’t change that thing right away, how can you start doing small things to create something that makes you happy? 

Think about “What if…”

Many of us flounder with our motivations. We think, “I’d really like to …” But that’s not enough. A statement that flimsy is not enough to keep us on the straight and narrow to getting anything done. We state affirmations like, “I am strong enough to succeed,” but that doesn’t really motivate us to do anything.  Emotional healing coach Karena Neukirchner believes that affirmations like that “end up becoming a manifestation of toxic positivity.” We’re forcing these happy feelings to the forefront but our negative emotions are unchanged in our subconscious. And that negativity can intensify if it’s not addressed. But Neukirchner has a simple tweak to help us. Turn those affirmations into “iffirmations.” Consider “What if.” Just adding those simple words can help make your motivation more clear. When your motivation is clear, the path to happiness and resilience is more clear. 

My “iffirmation”

I had been dissatisfied with my writing. So many ideas for articles, essays, books, novellas, but I haven’t been writing. I never seemed to have the time or mindset to look at that white Google Docs screen. So, I changed “I will be a successful writer” to “What if I became successful at writing.” And I thought about how to make that happen. I like my days, full as they are, and don’t see my schedule changing any time soon. But what if I woke up a little earlier? Before my busy day started. I could write then! My new writing protocol started about a month ago and I finished my first novella (it’s being edited now!). I started the second and am reasonably happy with its progress. 

The biggest difference has been in my mindset. Since I’ve been writing more consistently, I feel like I’m more creative, and I’m happier. So, when you make your motivation more clear, things start to happen.

When part of your brain says, “Go!” and the other part, “No!”

Running is unfailingly hard for me. Every day that I step on the treadmill, it’s hard. It’s a struggle to increase that speed when all I want to do is lie down and take a nap. What do you do when part of your brain says, “Go!” and the other part says, “No?” How do you maintain your motivation to do something hard?

Why run at all?

If it’s so hard, you might ask, why do I want to run at all? I’ve mentioned my dogs lots of times here. They’re my workout and life buddies. My companions who never tell me I can’t do anything. My dogs are with me as I work, and often as I play. I train my dogs for fun and for competition. I write about the journeys I’ve had with my dogs, in life in general and on the road. The hard times and the fun times as I wrote about in Tango: Transforming My Hellhound.

I enjoy the competition training, and there’s nothing more fulfilling than running straight out on an Agility course with my dog. When he’s off-lead. I know that I’ll never be as fast as my dog – no human can match the speed of a canine – but I can be where I need to be, to give him the cues he needs to know where to go. And for that I need to run. Fast. That’s my motivation to get on the treadmill. So I run at home on my treadmill a couple of times a week. And it’s hard, every time. And yet, I still aim to increase the speed without decreasing the incline.

Why do something so hard, then?

So, why not decrease the speed or the incline, or both? In my mind, that would be cheating. Speaker, author and coach Curt Rosengren says, “The more you challenge yourself and succeed, the greater your confidence in your ability to do it again next time. Challenge doesn’t just help you grow your skills and knowledge, it helps you grow your belief that you can.” Small gains everyday help me stay on the treadmill. Another 10 seconds at a tenth of a mile faster is a win for me. Or an extra 30 seconds at a half percent higher incline is good. Small steps make the big goal more approachable. That kind of optimism will grow your resilience, and it’s good for your healthy aging.

Make hard stuff a habit

If you do things at a specific time on specific days for several weeks, they become a habit. When things become habit, you don’t even have to think about doing them, you just do. So, if you do something hard just as a matter of course, it will stop being hard. And then you’ll have to find some other hard thing to do.

I’m not going to try it – are you?

Not willing to dive in

“Cold plunging” for health benefits has been around for quite a while. It used to be that cold plunging was an athlete thing, but now it’s gone more mainstream. Celebrities from Kate Hudson to Lizzo to Harry Styles to Lady Gaga are sinking into ice baths for therapy or recovery. And whether it’s a cold shower, a cold bath, or a cold lake in winter, it seems like more regular people like us are joining the party.

I’m not convinced. The thought of sticking a toe into ice-cold water after a workout or lifting my face to a freezing spray of water first thing in the morning does not appeal. The benefits would really have to outweigh the fear to convince me.

Cold plunging health benefits

So, what are the cold plunging health benefits? A study not long ago showed that cold-water therapy can help reduce inflammation and perceived soreness after a tough workout. Hence, ice baths for athletes. But other health benefits of cold plunging include enhanced immune function; decreased levels of pain, stress, anxiety, and depression; and increased alertness and energy. Experts also say that sleep is improved with cold plunging.

I have to wonder how will it affect my healthy aging? Will the numbness extend my life or shorten it? Studies haven’t seemed to address this yet.

How it happens

Immersing yourself in cold water changes how the blood flows through your body. The cold water constricts your blood vessels. So when you climb out of the shower, bath or lake, you warm up and your blood starts to flow through the newly widened veins and arteries. Lalitha McSorley, PT, owner and lead physical therapist at Brentwood Physiotherapy in Calgary, Canada, says “This can help improve overall circulation and oxygenation of the body.” 

Willing to take the plunge?

I'll exercise for the health benefits.

While all that sounds great, I think I’ll get my health benefits from exercise. Exercise lowers blood pressure and improves circulation. It also improves sleep. Exercise certainly boosts my mood and makes me a nicer person. 

So, I think I’ll keep my showers warm (OK, lukewarm when the weather is hot) and leave the cold plunging to others. Are you going to try it?

I changed the time I run – What happened?

Changing the time I ran really made a difference.

I’ve written before that no matter what time of day you exercise, you’ll still get benefits. The important thing is that you exercise! And that’s true. My preference is to exercise early in the day because I feel so energized afterward. I’ve had to adjust to working out in the late afternoon, after work, though. But I had to switch my schedule last week on a running day to go into work later. I thought it would be interesting to see the effect of changing the time I ran. I usually run twice a week on the treadmill, because I think running outside is even worse than running on the treadmill. The only thing that makes running even tolerable is listening to a fast-moving action novel. No self-help or memoir for the treadmill. If I’m engrossed in the story, then I’m not ticking away the seconds on the treadmill timer.

Why run if it’s so hard?

Why do I run at all if it’s so hard for me? I like to play sports with my dogs – and running agility is just that – running. So I run for endurance and to try to be in the right place to give my dog the cues he needs.

Changing the time I ran made a big difference

My afternoon runs had been getting steadily faster and the intervals longer. The total time remained the same, but in those 20 minutes, the time I took to slow down between fast intervals was less. What a shocker, then, when I ran in the morning last Thursday! Changing the time I ran made a big difference in how I felt. 

Running early was so much harder than I thought it would be. My legs felt like lead pipes. My lungs were burning inside of 5 minutes. I couldn’t go as fast as I could just a few days before. The incline was excruciating. So I backed off. I ran more slowly. I shortened the fast interval. I decreased the incline. And I made arrangements to run early every Thursday, because the higher levels of Agility are run early in the day. If I’m going to be able to compete, I have to be able to run early. So I’ll train for it. I’m changing the time I run to get ready for competition.

Time of day actually does matter

As it turns out, though, the time of day does seem to matter in the actual results you might see. A recent study by researchers at Skidmore College showed that women who exercised in the morning had greater fat loss. Women who trained later in the evening gained more upper body strength and power. There was little difference in performance improvement in men.

All exercise will give you benefits for our healthy aging such as heart health, better sleep and improvements in your mood. But if you ladies want to lose more fat, try working out early!

No. It depends. A while. Answers to goal-specific fitness questions.

When will I see Exercise Results?

When do you see exercise results? It depends... And everyone is different.

“I have a wedding in June. Will I be skinny by then?” “How long ‘til I fit into Size 6 jeans?” “When will I see a six-pack?” Were you laughing when you read those questions? Me too. And yet, deep down, I kind of wondered when I’d see exercise results all those years ago when I lost weight. By now, you know that “No,” “It depends,” and “A while” are the answers. It turns out that “It depends” is the answer to quite a few goal-specific fitness questions. 

Goals are key

Having specific goals, committing to a program and sticking with that program is the sure path to success in reaching a fitness goal. For example, if you want to lose 5 pounds in a month, experts agree that it’s totally doable. Reduce the number of calories you consume (a food journal helps with this), increase calories burned (an exercise program will help here), make sure you’re hydrated, get enough sleep, and reduce stress. That’s the formula. Of course, it’s never so cut and dry. 

Our emotions get in the way. We eat because of stress. And we eat when we’re happy. When it comes to exercise – there’s never a good time to do it. Or we just don’t feel like it. So, having real, achievable, specific goals is the key to keeping on track.

Everyone’s different

We’re human. And as humans, our bodies react differently to the food we eat and exercises we do. Exercise results are different for everybody. My body reacts differently than yours. Your body may not retain water the way mine does – be grateful. Or your muscles may respond more quickly to exercise than mine. Everyone’s different. So – it depends when you’ll see those results you want.

A real time frame … wait for it

But, there is sort of a time frame on when you can expect to see some results from your hard work. “When performed appropriately, exercise can lead to physiological changes in about eight to 12 weeks for most people,” Chris Gagliardi, MS (an ACE-certified personal trainer) says. “This does not mean that everyone will respond to exercise in the same way. Some people may see and feel results in less than eight to 12 weeks, and for others, it may take more time.” 

Don’t exercise for the outward results

It’s such a long time to see any results, that it’s important not to focus on these physiological changes. Remember all the other benefits that come from exercise. Remember that even Khloe Kardashian exercises for the invisible benefits! If I have to wait 2 to 3 months to see any results, there had better be other benefits to this whole healthy living thing! 

The biggest reason for me to exercise is the brain boost I get, and how much better I feel emotionally afterward.

Get up – get going – get it done

Get it done – no matter what it is

Get it done!

If you like to get stuff that  you don’t especially enjoy doing out of the way early, like I do, then this is for you! The great Mark Twain is credited with saying, “Eat a live frog first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day.” And if you think about it, that’s probably true. And productivity expert Brian Tracy has expanded on Twain’s saying in his book, Eat That Frog. When I can, I try to abide by that precept – get up, get going, get it done. That way I have more time to do what I really want to do later on.

If you don’t like to exercise, you probably won’t do it

If you hate to exercise – I’ve said it before – you’re not going to do it. But if you find an exercise program that you don’t mind, and you like the music, the choreography, and the instructor, then you’re more likely to do it. If you have that program queued up, then you don’t have to waste time looking for it and you can just jump in. And if you don’t have anything else scheduled, you can exercise early and get it done. My favorite time to exercise is early – what a great feeling to get it done.

Taking action early = fulfillment

This maxim can translate to other areas of your life too. When you see yourself as someone who takes action, and takes it early on, there’s a real sense of fulfillment. It’s not enough to see yourself in a certain way, though, you have to take the steps to get it done. 

Perfectionist? Let it go

That could mean easing up on your perfectionist leanings. I know – you like things to be “just so.” But if you keep tweaking a project, it will never be finished. And done is almost always better than perfect. Naturally, check for typos and other obvious errors, but as a chilly heroine would say, let the rest go.

Other productivity professionals say, “Be dumber and care less.” I change that to “grow a thicker skin.” Of course we care about our work. Sometimes that shows up as, “perhaps I should tweak this sentence so people won’t think ‘X’ about me.” My rule has been to not overtly offend anyone, but if I have something important to say, then say it. You can be a genius, use all the high-falutin’ vocabulary, and finish a project in 3 weeks. Or you can just say something plainly and get it done. And once that thing is done, you’ll get a sense of accomplishment! It’s done! Finished! And I did it! So happy! What a boost to your optimism and resilience.

How to get it all done

Sounds good, right? But how to get it done efficiently? First, identify the project. Next, identify the steps you need to take. Third, flesh out those steps. And finally, get up and get going.

3 Short methods to maintain your momentum

If it's a struggle every day to put on those sneakers, here are 3 methods to maintain your momentum.
Is it a struggle to put on those sneakers?

I get it. I do. You’ve been exercising for weeks and it’s dull. You’ve made good progress but it’s a struggle every day to put on those sneakers. So, how can you maintain your momentum and not sit back on the couch? How can you keep that appointment with yourself and exercise? Yes, you know that it’s good for your healthy aging. You know that it’s good for your brain, your memory, your cognition and your sleep. That doesn’t make it easy to change into that workout gear. Some days you just don’t care about your resilience and how much exercise will help you through anything. You just feel like taking a nap. So here are 3 methods to maintain your momentum.

1st method to maintain your momentum:

Know that it’s OK to play hooky once in a while. If you just can’t face that treadmill or put that exercise bra on, it’s OK not to.

Just the fact that you know it’s all right to skip a day will, most likely, get you up off the couch. Ask yourself the question: do I want to play my hooky card today? Or should I save it for when I REALLY don’t feel like working out? 

2nd method:

Remember your kids, or your dogs, or your friends. They’re waiting for you. Remember why you started exercising in the first place. You want to run around with the kids and grandkids. Take fun vacations with them. You want to play with the dogs – get down on the floor to play and still be able to get back up again. And you want to roam all over the mall with your friends without having to take breaks.

3rd method:

Know that you’re going to be very sore if you take days off.That’s not fun. 

As we age, the recovery time for our muscles extends because our muscle tissue takes longer to repair itself and rebuild. It’s just easier to do the workout. And, face it – with the time you spend arguing with yourself whether or not to workout you could be almost finished with today’s workout. 

So, get off the couch.

The good stress

When I think of “stress,” my brain starts whirring, my heart starts pounding, I start to sweat, and I’m not happy. Most people, I think, react the same way to most stress. In fact, the World Health Organization defines stress as “any type of change that causes physical, emotional or psychological strain.” And when this type of stress continues, it can become “distress” which leads to anxiety and overwhelm. But there is a “good” stress – called “eustress.” 

Stress can be beneficial

Eustress can be a beneficial emotion, leading to “positive emotional arousal, leading to activation and engagement” with the world around us, according to a paper in the National Library of Medicine. 

Exercise is stressful, but "good" stress.
Exercise is “good” stress

So, eustress is “manageable, acute, and short-term.” Think of exercise as an example. We’re placing stress on our bodies when we exercise. But exercise by definition is short-term, and the stress we put our bodies in is acute – we voluntarily raise our heart rates or work our muscles in a way that’s different from their normal state. And the reason that we exercise is to become more fit, release endorphins and improve our mental well-being.

Nurtures our well-being

“Eustress is the physical, mental, and/or emotional tension that is placed on the mind and body when we engage in activities that actually nurture our well-being and foster growth,” says Andra Brown, a NY-based licensed mental health counselor who specializes in anxiety, racial identity, and stress. Brown says that eustress can make us excited and motivated. When we feel eustress, we feel compelled to act in a positive manner. Our mindset improves when we’re under eustress. And when we act positively, our resilience grows.

If I get an idea for an article, and I know it’s a good one, I’m fired up. I open a new Google Document and write rapid-fire until that idea is down in black and white. 

Stress and exercise

I’m not excited to exercise, as you know. But, once I push “Play,” the music comes on and the instructor gives the first direction, I start moving and can forget about everything else. Good stress indeed!

Public speaking can even be eustressful

Brown emphasizes that eustress triggers can increase productivity. Think about the last time you spoke in front of a small group of friends about a subject you’re passionate about. Even though public speaking may usually terrify you, when it’s about a topic that’s near and dear to your heart, you probably spoke eloquently and far more succinctly than you believed you could.

As you’ve seen in previous articles, exercise generates energy. Even if I’m tired before a workout, I feel energized afterward! Exercise, therefore, is positive stress. It feeds our body and mind.

I try to combine distress and eustress

Listening to the news, on the other hand, is “distress.” It brings on feelings of anxiety and is practically debilitating. I do like to know what’s going on in the world, though, so I pair watching the national news every day with a calming Sudoku puzzle. On one hand, I’m anxious, but on the other, I’m solving a puzzle. I’m hoping that the eustress outweighs the distress. Indeed, Brown says that during moments of eustress, we are able to perceive certain challenges as less threatening.

So, there’s no need to fear stress – just do everything you can to make it good stress.

3 tips to make working out easier

Make working out easier on yourself. This is not to say that you should make your workouts easy. Rather, make it easy to exercise and get the full benefit of that exercise, especially for our healthy aging.

Get the maximum benefits

You know that there are many benefits to exercise. I wrote about this ‘way back in 2015! From the physical benefits to your bones, muscles, heart, lungs – to mental benefits, like improved memory and cognition and improved sleep. So, we still have to get our workouts in. So, to make sure that we get the most out of our workouts, here are 3 tips to make working out easy:

Tip #1 – Know yourself

My workouts are more intense with an instructor calling the moves.
My workouts are more intense with an instructor calling the moves.

If you’re the kind of person who’s a go-getter and won’t slow down or take out lighter weights, good for you. But I know that I won’t work at maximum intensity if I did a workout on my own. My powered treadmill ensures I don’t slow down. I need an instructor to make sure I get in all my reps. So, I shove in an exercise DVD and follow the instructor. I know that I’m working and not easing off.

Tip #2 – You’ll do it if you like it

Do a workout you like – or at least, don’t mind doing. If I look at my calendar and see that a workout I don’t care for is on today’s schedule, I might just find something else that needs to get done. Like cleaning out my sock drawer. Even though running is not my favorite exercise, I like the audiobook I’m listening to. And my time on the treadmill is the only time I listen. So I run. 

Tip #3 – Clear motivation

Know why you’re exercising. And it’s probably not for the physical and mental benefits. It’s to make sure that you can keep up with the grandkids. You exercise because you want to travel and walk around the cities you visit. Or you just want to take long walks with your significant other. For me – I want to run my dog in Agility. And I want to eat chocolate.

When you know what it takes to get the maximum benefit from your workout, when you know the kind of workout you like doing, and when you know why you’re exercising, you’re making your workouts easier on yourself. You know that you’ll get the maximum impact from the minimum time you spend on exercising.

Think Small … and Big

Achieving small goals may make you happier.
Achieving small goals may make you happier

You know I like to divide my big goals into bite-sized pieces. That way I can celebrate all the small wins on the way to that big one. But I’ve also learned to think small … and big. Just because I have big goals doesn’t mean those are the only ones. I also have small goals to achieve. And those are the ones that may be keeping me happiest.

Goals changed with the pandemic

Writer Alexis Jones admits to also being on the small goals bandwagon. Not too long ago Alexis was focused on the big career goals, her 5-year plan. But then the pandemic hit. Everything was uncertain. Plans were canceled, no one went into work. Most goods were delivered. Businesses were shuttered. 

The world changed, and made Alexis take a hard look at her goals. They didn’t make sense at the moment, so she adjusted her thinking. Alexis still worked at her long-term goals, but she also made smaller and more immediate and personal goals. She made a goal of a consistent mid-day walk to clear her mind. Alexis also reached out to friends to maintain relationships that had been neglected. As a result, Alexis says she’s closer to some goals she felt were too big to tackle, like improving her mental health and mending relationships.

Achieving small goals sets you on the path to bigger things

Psychotherapist Natalie Jones says that Alexis is not alone. Achieving small goals is a sure-fire way to put you on the path to achieving larger goals. “Micro goals are the ones that really sort of help us to feel good about ourselves,” says Dr. Jones. And not just that. Achieving small goals gives us the momentum to look forward to bigger things. When we accomplish the small things, it helps us know how to go about setting and achieving the bigger goals, or “give us data to gauge about ourselves and what it’s going to take in order for us to get the big stuff done,” Dr. Jones says.

My own mini-goals? I decided to meditate for 2 minutes a day a few weeks ago. I take my brain on a mini-vacation. Sometimes I listen to a guided meditation. Other times I just sit with my eyes closed. Other times I just picture my favorite spot by the water and listen to the waves. I think I’m happier, calmer, and more reasonable as a result.

So, think small … and big, for your happiness.