Mindset Archives - Page 6 of 11 - Fran's Fitness Over 50

Don’t use fear as a motivator

It’s Fall – when we strive to prevent falls

It’s officially Fall according to the calendar, and my reminder to focus on my balance exercises. It’s an unkind fact – as we get older we not only gain more wisdom (that’s a good thing), we also lose things. Like our eyesight, our hearing, our hair (for some), our bone density, and our sense of balance. Falls are a primary cause of sending us seniors to the hospital. And once we’ve fallen, we live in fear of falling again. We may not be able to do much about our eyesight and hearing, but we can work to improve our balance. Fear of falling is a powerful nudge to get us working on our balance, but don’t use fear as a motivator.

Negative motivators are powerful

Fear has been called the most powerful motivator to get us to do something. And it certainly works. For a while. But we become fatigued. We can’t live in fear day in and day out. It’s not enough to be afraid of falling to get us to do the simple balance exercises. Fear tends to paralyze us. And if we don’t fall one day, or two, or a week, then we lose the motivation. We’re still afraid of falling, because the memory is there, but it’s no longer so powerful.

I learned a lot about aging

I started my balance journey a number of years ago after I fell and injured my knee and hips. It’s true that knowing our balance diminishes is often not enough to get us to work on it, though. In fact, I didn’t know about that aspect of aging until I started doing some research. I didn’t like the fact that losing balance is a natural part of aging, so I decided to see if there was something to do about it. Happily, I also learned that simple exercises (you can do the Core-Centered Balance Moves too) can help us regain the balance we’ve lost over time. This is a long-term prospect. Much like general exercises for the rest of our bodies, the benefits are lost if we don’t do them and they’re cumulative if we keep on doing the exercises. So we need additional motivation to keep us working on our balance.

Negative motivators are exhausting

But fear is a negative motivator, which never works as well as positive ones over time. Negative motivators are tiring. They’re unsustainable. Negative motivators work really well in the short term – like making you hurry if you’re late to an appointment and fear the consequences. Negative motivators are great at getting you to avoid doing things – like going out of your house if you’re afraid of falling. Positive motivators work much better in the long run at helping you to take action. You’ll want to go places and visit friends and family if you’re confident that you can do so safely. You’ll be able to bounce back and be more resilient if you’re confident in your independence.

So don’t use fear as a motivator to practice your balance moves. Instead, think of the confidence you’ll gain by your improved balance. You can step out of your door with confidence. You’ll revel in your independence. You’ll know that even if you do step on uneven pavement, the Inline Walking exercise that you do every week (yes, I know it looks and feels weird) will help you keep your balance.

It’s just two minutes a day. Practice your balance. Be confident.

Third type of motivation

A while ago I told you about 2 kinds of motivation – extrinsic and intrinsic. External and internal motivation – your motivation is fueled by outer forces, or you’re motivated because you enjoy the project. But, that doesn’t explain how people who do not like to exercise still get up, change their shoes and work out five days a week. The benefits of exercise don’t matter. When it comes to doing a bunch of burpees and getting hot and sweaty, I don’t care if this will help me remember things. I’d rather do a Sudoku puzzle. My heart is fine, thank you. My healthy aging? Doing great, thanks. And as long as I can zip my jeans, my weight is good.

What makes mundane tasks more motivating?

So here’s where the third type of motivation comes in. The Harvard Business Review did a study on how to make even the most mundane tasks more motivating. And you might be surprised at the results.

Do it for others

Do it for others. You’re part of a team. When you exercise, you make an investment in yourself. Your family needs and depends on you. You exercise for them. And that’s the third type of motivation. The motivation that inspires you to go above and beyond what you think you’re capable of. The thing that makes you push beyond what you thought were your boundaries. You can achieve more than you ever thought possible when you do things for the people in your life who you love, and who love you.

Your secret weapon

The third type of motivation goes much further than intrinsic or extrinsic motivation. This motivation brings in a secret weapon – other people. You can use these other people as your exercise team. Some people are able to sustain exercise when they do it with others, either as part of a group class or an accountability group. When I took group step classes, for example, I was able to forget how out of breath I was. The music and cheering of others lifted me up and kept me going. My classmates, or my team, motivated me to continue stepping, jumping, and lunging past the point where I might have stopped.

Your accountability team can also keep you going. If you have a group that checks in with each other once a day, for example, you know that you’re going to have to tell them that you worked out for a half hour or 45 minutes, or an hour. Or you have to tell them that you wussed out and didn’t exercise. Most times peer pressure motivates us to do the thing we really don’t want to do.

If you really like to exercise – great! Do it. If the benefits you get from exercise motivate you to work out, that’s good too. But if these types of motivation just aren’t doing it for you, you can rely on the third type of motivation to get you up and moving. Exercise for others.

The Rewards you Get

COVID takes your brain to interesting places. You’re sitting there and trying to focus, and your brain takes a detour down a rabbit hole. The other day I was thinking about positive reinforcement training and rewards. In my other life, I’m a dog trainer, using positive methods, and lots of rewards. So I thought, what’s different about people and motivation – people deserve great rewards when we do awesome stuff, just like our dogs do! Motivation and reward have to be linked, or I wouldn’t get things done.

Rewards in Positive Reinforcement Dog training

When I’m training my dogs, I reward things I like. That has the effect of the dogs doing that thing I liked more, so they get more rewards. Motivation and reward are linked. We say, “What gets rewarded gets repeated.” If the reward is a high value treat, my dogs want more of it. They think, “How can I get more of that yummy cheese?” Pause a moment. “Oh yeah. I was sitting.” They probably don’t use words, but I can imagine the thought process goes like that.

Rewards for Humans

When it comes down to it, people like rewards too. Our rewards might take a different form – less cheese, perhaps, and more chocolate, but cheese is good too. I have a feeling that we often disregard the “Reward” part that comes after we complete an item on our “To Do” List. And, yet, to keep us motivated, the reward plays an important part. I always say that we should celebrate every small victory! Every step toward a goal’s completion deserves a reward. Incidentally, achieving goals is also great for our optimism and our resilience.

Enlightened self-interest

Enlightened self-interest is what makes the world go around. If I don’t want to do something, I’m not going to do it unless I have a very good reason to do it. Like exercise. If I were just starting an exercise program, I’d need really good rewards to make me change into workout gear and get all out of breath and sweaty. But if I promise myself that I’ll get a new top if I stick to my program for a solid week, then I’ll stick with it.

Hierarchy of rewards

But not every reward is the same. Just like I do for my dogs, we should have a hierarchy of rewards for us. For a dog, kibble is at the low end of the hierarchy and hot dog may be at the high end. For us? Perhaps taking a five-minute breathing break is at the low end of the reward spectrum, and a new set of colored gel pens at the high.

Or if the task is more difficult, then a new pair of shoes may qualify as a high-end reward. As a reward, that pair of shoes carries much more value than a 5-minute break, so the task it’s rewarded for must be more difficult or time-consuming. Pair the reward with the task. And make sure that the reward is something you really want. You won’t be motivated to perform the task by that reward if you don’t care if you receive it or not!

Don’t wait until it’s finished for a reward

You may think that the carrot dangling on the end of the stick will see that task done to completion. But research has shown that a reward given when a task is started helps to keep us working. If we like the reward, then we have a positive association between it and the task, and it keeps us going. And this immediate reward doesn’t have to be big, either. The study showed that smaller, more frequent rewards had a bigger influence on a person’s motivation to complete a task than a bigger reward when the task was complete. The person’s mindset was changed to continue the task even for a smaller reward.

Motivation and rewards are linked – so make sure you’re clear on what your reward is for performing a task. Make sure the reward is something you actually want. And rewarding yourself for starting a project may just keep you going through to the end.

Motivation when you’re sick

During the height of the pandemic, most of us were vigilant about wearing masks and keeping social distance. Now, three years later, most of us have relaxed our vigilance. We’ve been vaccinated and boosted, and since the virus didn’t greatly impact us, we didn’t think about taking precautions when in a large gathering. And now it’s come back on me. I was at an Agility trial this last weekend, along with over a hundred other people (and their dogs). And now I tested positive and have mild symptoms. I don’t feel all that bad as I’m writing this, but I don’t feel that great either. Working holds no appeal at the moment, and if this article is not up to my usual standards, I apologize. So, how do you maintain your motivation when you’re sick?

Focus on one thing

When you’re sick, focus on one thing to accomplish. Any more than that and you’ll be overwhelmed and end up not getting anything done. So, figure out the most important thing you want to get done. Then, since your brain might not be working at its usual high level, think about how to start that task. Write it down. Motivation when you’re sick requires much more detail than at other times. When you’re well, once you start many tasks, the steps become a natural progression. But when you’re sick, those steps may not be clear. So write the steps down. Writing those steps down will change your mindset from planning to doing.

Do it

Then buckle down and do it. Motivation when you’re sick requires that you stay focused. Your thoughts may want to scatter in different directions, so it’s important that if you want to get things done, you reign in those thoughts and stay focused. This is not easy. I currently have eighteen tabs open in various browser windows. But I set the task of writing this article for myself. And I will finish it!

It’s not easy to maintain motivation sometimes, even when you’re feeling well. But when you’re sick, it’s even more difficult. So just try to get one task accomplished. See how you feel when it’s done. If you’re feeling good after that, move to the next item on your list. Last week I had some tips to maintain motivation, and one was celebrate the smallest victory. That applies here. Finishing anything when you’re ill deserves a celebration!

Things to remember if you’re sick

Meanwhile, things to remember if you are sick with COVID and are treating yourself at home (from the Mayo Clinic) – get lots of rest, drink plenty of water, throw those tissues away and wash your hands a lot. If you can, isolate yourself from the rest of the people in your household. And if your symptoms get worse, see a health professional.

Motivation tips for anything

I recently read an article that had motivation tips that were fashioned for weight loss. But any project, whether it’s short- or long-term, needs the proper motivation to see it through to the end. So here are motivation tips for anything.

Motivation to finish a knitting project

Like knitting a sweater. To me, the fun part is knitting all the pieces. But then I really need strong motivation to put those pieces together. My mom was great at finishing knitted projects. I’d love to do the knitting part, but then I would sew them together and my sweaters would look homemade. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with homemade projects, of course, but my mom’s would look totally professional. I knew that my sweaters wouldn’t look fantastic, so I’d procrastinate until it was summer and I didn’t need a new sweater.

Remember why you started

Obviously I was not motivated to finish that sweater. On the other hand, if the knitted pieces were so gorgeous that I couldn’t wait to wear the sweater, I would have to finish the thing. Every evening I would picture myself wearing the sweater, its softness, how it would drape just perfectly, and keep me toasty warm. And I would pick up the pieces, pin them carefully together, and sew the sweater together. That’s “remembering your ‘why.’”

For weight loss, remembering your ‘why’ is different for every person who wants to lose weight. If you have a trip planned and you want to do a lot of walking, you want to be in the best shape you can be so you can see all the sights. And you know that if you’re at a lean weight, your endurance will be so much better.

Focus on the fun

Another motivation tip for anything is to focus on the fun. For weight loss and getting fit, the process is always more sustainable when your workouts are fun. If you’re having fun when you exercise, you’ll want to lace up your sneakers. You’ll want to move to the great music in the workout. Or perhaps the moves themselves make you want to do them more. Exercise won’t be a chore, it’s something you have fun doing. You can apply this to anything else you have to do. Find the fun in the project. Even if the project itself is mundane, perhaps use different colored pens to spark your interest.

Celebrate even the smallest victory

When the going gets tough, focus on your victories. And for some projects, the smallest victories are the ones that excite you the most. Because those wins are indicators that you are succeeding. If your goal is to do 10 regular pushups when you couldn’t do a single one to start, then completing 2 with great form is time for a celebration.

Celebrate your wins. And your wins will fuel your happiness, and your resilience. You’ll want to keep going for more wins.

More tips in the “Get Up, Get Moving, Get It Done” Guide

When you have things you want to get done, projects you want completed or simply chores to complete, you need the proper motivation. If you’re unsure of your motivation, download the “Get It Done” Guide. It has motivation tips for anything.

When you keep finding other things to do rather than the project you have to finish – you keep procrastinating, download the “Get it Done” Guide.

The Guide is filled with ideas to keep you on the straight-and-narrow to get that stuff done. It give you actionable steps to follow to stay motivated and complete projects.

It will also help you identify time-wasters that prevent you from finishing projects.

The Guide even has a worksheet to get you started on completing the things you want to get done.

Challenge the aging stereotypes

Halle Berry, in my opinion, is still one of the world’s most beautiful women. She’s 57 (!) now, and in the throes of menopause. But she’s not letting that phase of life shut her down, as she indicates she once thought it might. Halle Berry is changing her own reality and embracing the life changes menopause has brought her. Berry said, “I’m challenging all those stereotypes about how you have to look a certain way or feel a certain way. I’m my best self now … I have the most to offer.” We’re old enough that we don’t have to conform to society’s rules. So often we women feel compelled to think of others before ourselves, to conform to others’ rigid standards and do what others think we should. I’m with Halle – let’s challenge the aging stereotypes.

No more “little old ladies”

Gone is the “little old lady” stereotype. We used to think of “little old ladies” as stooped over, hobbling with a cane and wearing a shawl. Needing a driver to take us to the grocery store where we picked up our meager staples for the week. Yes, we might be shrinking in stature (thank you, gravity!), but we’re more vital and our views are more valid than ever.

Independent, but community has value

We see the world from the viewpoint of “been there, done that” – we’ve raised families, lost parents, and seen the best and worst of society from the vantage point of our homes and workplaces. We’re fiercely independent, yet community is still an important part of our lives – even if some days that community is just online. Our social media groups allow us to maintain the connections we so badly need for our resilience and our sanity. When you join a group on social media, you know you’ve got at least one thing in common with the other members. We’re not afraid to engage in discussions over controversial topics even if some others try to put us down. Our viewpoints are valid and we should express them.

And while it’s imperative to feel connected in some ways to others, we’re still individuals. Our choices don’t look like our friends’ choices. What we do with our days is no one’s business but ours. If we have more free time during the day, yay us! We can still be motivated to make positive changes in our lives and the lives of others.

Everyone’s journey is different

I choose to train dogs and I write about how my fitness journey impacts the rest of my life. I also write about how I stay motivated to continue it in the hope that it inspires others to be motivated to succeed in whatever endeavor they wish. It’s not the vocation I expected when I was “downsized” from a major corporation many years ago, but it’s one I embrace now.

As we all get older, we must recognize that we are each more than the niche society wants to stick us in. We all can challenge the aging stereotypes. Just get out there and get interested in whatever the world offers.

Change your mindset, upgrade your life

We are limited by things we tell ourselves. Psychologists call this “self-limiting beliefs.” These are things we really believe at the moment we say it. Things like, “I’m too old to travel.” Or, “I’m not qualified to apply for that job.” Or, “I could never do that yoga pose.” Assumptions that you have about yourself can be dangerous – because they could become true. They don’t start out that way, but in your own brain they can grow and become more negative. The more you believe that you’re too old for something, too out of shape, not qualified, the more these things become true. These beliefs limit your future. They limit what you can become. Believing that you can’t do something kills your motivation before you even begin. But if you change your mindset you can upgrade your life.

Start small

If this is a new concept for you, don’t start trying to change the big things in your brain. It won’t work because you won’t believe yourself. Start small with things that are easy.

For example, every two weeks I cook from scratch for my sister and me on my day off. Usually there’s enough to put half in the big upright freezer in the basement to defrost and enjoy for dinner in a month or so. We had a backup, though – there were four containers in the big freezer! So I thought that perhaps I would just make something for that night only. One of our favorites – BLT Pizza! It’s like a BLT sandwich but on pizza, with lots of cheese holding the bacon in place. Not exactly low-fat, but we don’t have it often. But I thought – but, I always make a pasta dish to freeze. What if we don’t have enough later in the month? Maybe I’ve lost my touch making pizza. My sister might not like the idea. Then I thought to myself: “Get over it. It’s my night to cook. This is what I want to make. My sister can like it or she can find something else to eat. And we will not run out of things to eat.” Of course, my sister loved it, and we’ve still got plenty of leftovers in the freezer.

If you wake up grumpy, change your mindset right away. Next time you’re in a bad mood when you wake up, smile at yourself in the mirror. You may feel stupid, but no one else is going to see you. And that small act can change your mindset. Try it!

Then go bigger

A strong core does not completely eliminate back pain, as I found.

That pizza sure made me happy. The other day I tweaked my back in the shower. No idea how I did it, but I had a hard time straightening up for days. I thought to myself, “Oh, great. I fancy myself sort of a fitness expert, always focusing on how a strong core can eliminate back pain. I’m a fraud.” I went on like that in my head for a while. But then I sucked in my stomach, straightened up (still painfully) and told myself to get over it.

I’m 68 years old. Sometimes old bones and muscles and other parts hurt. If I didn’t have a strong core, my back would hurt much worse than it does. People will not think I’m a fraud. Most will empathize with me. Keep going the way I’m going. The message is still valid.

And now, 3 days later as I write this, the back pain is merely a hint of tightness. I can say without a doubt that a strong core reduced my back pain. I changed my mindset from almost accepting that I was a fraud, to a broader one of acknowledging that the message I’ve been giving is true.

Change your mindset and upgrade your life. It’s great for your healthy aging. And you’ll be happier. Never limit yourself – others will try that all too often. Your motivation is not dependent on others. You can go out and do great things. Always believe that.

How to be resilient and motivated

In recent years we’ve heard that we need to be resilient to be able to withstand all that life throws at us, through the pandemic, political turmoil, weather extremes due to climate change. And we’ve all had this picture of someone who’s resilient: standing tall, perhaps at the edge of a cliff, arms akimbo, staring ahead with a stern expression. This person is mentally tough. She’s got what it takes to take whatever life throws at her. But, does this person have what it takes to still get things done? Is she motivated to still check things off her list? Or is she too busy fending off life’s arrows to maintain her motivation? Here’s why I think it’s not mutually exclusive to be both resilient and motivated.

Resilience defined

To be resilient you have to be able to recover quickly from adversity. You have to be able to take what life throws at you without wallowing. To pick yourself up, dust yourself off and move on to the next challenge. To be resilient and motivated, you have to not only pick yourself up and move on, but move on to a challenge that’s important to you.

Attributes of resilience equated to motivation

To be self-aware, you ahve to know what's inside you.

What does it take to be resilient? You have to know what’s inside you. To be self-aware. Know what makes you tick, and what motivates you. If your family is what’s important to you, then you’ll do whatever it takes for your family’s well-being.

Another aspect of being self-aware is to be mindful. Nurse practitioner Deborah Stamm at Advocate Good Shepherd Hospital says, “Mindfulness is the ability to purposefully bring one’s attention to experiences in the present moment without judgment.” If anyone is resilient in this world, it’s nurses. To be resilient, then, it’s not necessary to judge things that happen to us. Those things are neither good nor bad – they just are. They should not influence our future, nor should they taint the past. Accept them and move on. Life’s out there.

Go do things

We only get one life. It’s up to us to decide what we want to do with it. So, make goals that are important to you. And follow up on them. Set your intermediate goals and deadlines. Meet them. And then make more goals for your best life. You can be resilient and motivated at the same time. There’s no need to take a backseat in your life.

Happiness is my motivation

How to stay motivated to exercise when you don’t feel like it

My motivation to exercise comes and goes. I know I should exercise most days, but so many things get in the way. Like thinking, “I’ll get all sweaty and my hair will be horrible.” Or, “I have to put the new village stickers on my car.” Or, “I have to clean out my closet.” My closet has a ton of really nice clothes that I never wear. Yes, I’ve read my own organizing tips. I’ve even started to winnow out the stuff that I love, the stuff that I can’t bear to part with, the stuff that’s worn and the stuff that I can’t stand. I start, but never end because it’s all stuff I can’t bear to part with. One day. But my motivation to exercise comes and goes, and then comes back. Because I decided long ago that no matter what else is going on, I will exercise at least four days a week. That’s non-negotiable. Four days a week no matter what.

You’re not going to do it unless you love it. Unless…

You can decide to exercise, but unless your motivation to exercise is secure, you’re not going to do it unless you love to exercise. First step, then, in how you stay motivated to exercise, is to figure out what motivates you. What will make you keep on lacing up your sneakers day after day. Because one day is not enough. In order to get any benefits from exercising, you have to keep at it. And you’ll want to quit after the first session. It’s hard, but as they say, anything worth doing is hard. It will get easier, but you need to keep at it to get there. So, how will you stay motivated to keep exercising?

What is YOUR motivation to exercise?

Is your motivation to exercise your family? Will you keep on exercising to keep up with the family? Will you keep exercising so you can play with the little ones? To be able to work in your garden? Or will you exercise to be a strong partner? You need that strength and stamina to hold family get-togethers. Is that why you exercise?

Or is it for your healthy aging? One thing that scares many people of a certain age is holding onto your memories.It’s been proven that exercise will help you boost memories! That’s certainly a big motivator. My memory isn’t great to start with, so I appreciate any advantage!

What motivates me to exercise is the happiness I feel afterward.

What motivates me the most, though, is the happiness that comes after I work out. I don’t stay motivated because I’m happy to be exercising. No. After I exercise, though, I feel more optimistic. I’m grateful to be able to exercise. I’m happy after I exercise. Experts call it an endorphin rush. I call it happiness. Even though the most endorphins are released when we do intense aerobic exercise, I still find that I experience the same effect when I do Pilates, for example, or another low intensity workout.

I don’t feel like exercising often. In fact, I hardly ever want to exercise. But I stay motivated to exercise when I don’t feel like it. And I lace up those sneakers.

Don’t be afraid to take it slow

Two nights a week I teach Rally Obedience. Rally is kind of an esoteric sport for dog enthusiasts. It builds on basic obedience and requires some basic fundamentals so that you and your dog can successfully navigate a sort-of obstacle course. But instead of obstacles, you and your dog perform certain behaviors indicated by a sign. The most important skill to have is your dog “heeling” at your side – that is, your dog’s head stays even with your left leg as you walk. Training can take a while to be successful at Rally. I always tell my students, “Don’t be afraid to take it slow.” You’ll be even more successful when you get there!

Patience and Consistency

Don't be afraid to take it slow - at first

Many dogs have a tendency to forge ahead and pull their owners with them. It takes patience and consistency to train “heel” so that it looks and feels effortless for both of you. The way I like to train this is that when the leash gets tight and the dog starts to pull, you stop. Just stop. When your dog comes back to you to find out what’s going on, reward your dog for coming back to “heel position.” Easy. Just stop. Over time your dog will learn that being at your side is the best place in the world, because that’s where he gets the cookies.

Don’t be afraid to not get anywhere … at first

As in dog training, so in life. Don’t be afraid to not get anywhere! Even though it took one of my dogs and me three weeks of daily practice to get 20 feet from the house to the front sidewalk, we eventually went on to compete and gain obedience titles! Don’t be afraid to take it slow.

Don’t try so hard. If one of your goals is to do 25 regular push-ups, don’t be afraid to start easy. There’s always a modification so that you can build your strength. Start with 5 with your hands on a sturdy coffee table. Tomorrow do 6, the day after 8. Next week, after 7 days doing all your repetitions on an incline, try for 2 on the floor. Break up that big goal into smaller ones.

Remember the tortoise?

Researchers Teresa M. Amabile and Steven J. Kramer have found that what keeps people going – even high-powered scientists working on life-and-death projects – is that they make progress every day. Achieving small goals is still achieving goals. “Through exhaustive analysis of diaries kept by knowledge workers, we discovered the progress principle: Of all the things that can boost emotions, motivation, and perceptions during a workday, the single most important is making progress in meaningful work. And the more frequently people experience that sense of progress, the more likely they are to be creatively productive in the long run. Whether they are trying to solve a major scientific mystery or simply produce a high-quality product or service, everyday progress—even a small win—can make all the difference in how they feel and perform.”

Achieving those small wins will make you feel happier and more optimistic. It feels so good to check something off that list!

Celebrate every step along the way

That tortoise just put one foot in front of the other consistently and beat the hare. Don’t be afraid to take it slow – whatever “it” is. Celebrate every step. Accumulate your small wins every few days and make a note for your “Amazing Box.” You’ll get there.