Lifestyle Archives - Page 11 of 14 - Fran's Fitness Over 50

It’s easy when it becomes a habit

How do you do it? That’s the question I get. Have the mindset to work out almost every day, eat right and not just go crazy? The answer: It’s easy when it becomes a habit.

There has been lots written about habits and tracking habits lately (like James Clear’s Atomic Habits) – but none from the perspective of a 65-year-old woman with gray hair who runs her dogs in Agility. So, for all you young-at-heart old ladies out there who may or may not run their dogs in Agility, this is for you.

3 weeks to a habit

Generally speaking, it takes about 3 weeks of doing something for it to become a habit. Like flossing your teeth. Every night. Set an alarm on your phone for five minutes before the time you usually brush your teeth at night – when you look at your phone.

Or like using a new kind of calendar or daily planner. In order for a tool like this to work for you, you have to use it regularly. Enter your appointments, meetings and reminders when you make that appointment or think of something you need to be reminded of in the future. But then you have to remember to check your calendar regularly so that you don’t miss anything. So a cheat may be necessary – like a post-it note on your monitor to check your calendar. Or an alarm on your phone set to not-quite first thing in the morning. These “cheats” make it easier to remember what you want to remember to do – before these activities become real habits.

The exercise habit was not easy

Having exercise become a habit was not easy for me. I was a fat kid. I was bullied unmercifully through junior high school. Home economics was a requirement for girls my freshman year of high school. I was so proud of my little chocolate pudding tart that I took home on the bus so my mom and sister could enjoy it with me … Until a boy teased me, saying that a “fattie like me didn’t need that pie,” and tossed the tart onto my shirt. Chocolate and whipped cream was everywhere. That was the day I vowed to lose weight.

jumping rope helped me lose weight and start an exercise habit.

So after school all that year, I jumped rope on our patio – a concrete slab behind the house. I lost the weight and have (mostly) kept it off. I guess I should try to remember who that kid was and thank him. (Probably not going to happen…) Jumping rope was the easiest way I could think of to exercise. Cheap, and burned a lot of calories.

That was an easy habit to keep. I was motivated.

But now it’s easy when it becomes a habit

A habit should not be a convenience. A habit is something you do without fail. No matter what. I wrote about this a while ago – Life happens. It’s not an excuse. A habit – and if you’re consciously making a habit, then it’s important – is something you make time for.

I make time several times a week for exercise. Exercise has become a habit. So, changing clothes, shifting the dogs to their comfy downstairs beds and pushing “play” is just what I do – many days without thinking. It’s easy when it becomes a habit.

And planning the next week’s meals and shopping lists is a habit now. It’s just something that needs to get done, so I don’t whine about it. I don’t look for other things to do instead of the task. I just do it.

After a hard year we’re more resilient than ever

This flower makes me optimistic, as it opens every year and shows that we're more resilient than ever.

We’re starting to see more and more people around town, and in stores, without masks on. I have to assume that they’re fully vaccinated. And while it’s weird seeing people’s faces after more than a year, I like it! I’m glad that we’re coming out of the pandemic. Hopefully we’ve all learned something about ourselves and the world. But mostly I’m glad that we’re all optimistically embracing the future and are more resilient than ever. (https://fitness-over-50.com/2020/03/increase-optimism-grow-resilience/)

Even in the darkest months of the virus-spread, people were learning things, becoming educated and more able to cope with the changing world. It hasn’t been easy.

Shortages

We’ve had to cope with shortages, and learn to work around them. Like soap. Toilet paper is an essential as it is – there’s nothing to substitute. You’ve either got it or you don’t. We had to scrounge for a package here, a package there. And we’ve had to learn to use a little less. That’s a hardship. But soap. Around the house we have a couple of foaming hand soap dispensers in the kitchen and bathrooms. And we use the large-scale refills rather than buying new dispensers every time. But near the beginning of the pandemic, there was not a single foaming hand soap refill to be had, there were no dispensers either. So I found out how to make foaming hand soap with regular hand soap refills. (It’s actually not hard – 1 part soap refill to 4 parts water.) It’s not something I ever thought about before, but absolutely crucial. Who knew that a soap shortage would make me more resilient than ever?

Work from home

And we’ve had to deal with more technology than we expected too. Many of us had our very first Zoom experience during the pandemic. It’s been interesting being on the other side of the screen from someone just learning. “Do I push this? Click this? How do I turn the microphone on? Can you see me now?” We all learned, and my sister and I have decided to keep doing Zoom calls as an easy way to stay in touch with friends and family who live too far away to meet with in person.

New hobbies?

Many people have begun new hobbies. I know we’ve certainly been cooking more for ourselves. We’ve tried new recipes. I even made pretzels. They were really good, even if they were more like rolls. Which makes me want to make pretzel rolls for sandwiches but without the salt!

Learn new things

And we’ve all learned new things. About ourselves, about each other and the world. There was some bad stuff there, yes, but mostly we learned that given a chance, most people are good and want the best for others.

Letting our vulnerabilities show

And we’ve learned that we’re all vulnerable. We’ve seen it time and again through the pandemic. Everyone at least knows someone who lost a loved one to the virus. Two friends lost a parent. And letting others see our own vulnerabilities can be a good thing. We’ve all been scared. Of our own mortality, of the future’s uncertainty. We’re all in the same boat, trying to come out on the other side. And talking to each other about our fears and uncertainties only draws us closer together, and makes us more resilient than ever.

Set goals – big and little

Are you retired? Still working? Working on not working? Regardless – it’s important to set goals for yourself. The way we grow is to set goals and challenge ourselves, in whatever area we choose. And, don’t limit yourself to one area. If you’re still working, great! Set goals – big and little – for yourself professionally, but also personally.

I work for myself in a number of enterprises. I set goals for the business and for myself. One goal is to create a course relating to self-discipline that my readers (you!) will find useful in your fitness journey. My sister tells me that I have more discipline than anyone else she knows, so hopefully that expertise will help others. I’m writing my modules and hope to have a course by the end of the summer.

Another of my personal goals is to complete 10 regular pushups (from my toes). Pushups from my knees are no problem. And incline pushups are easy as well. I’m at about 4 or 5 regular ones now, so I’ll keep working at it.

To grow means that there’s work involved. Many people think the word “work” has a negative connotation. Meaning that work is bad. I don’t see it that way. Work is serious, yes, because my goals are serious to me. It’s hard. And work is challenging. But it can be fun. And the results: downright delightful.

I have fun when I work. I try to have fun all the time. Just because I’m trying to accomplish something doesn’t mean that I can’t have fun with it. Fun makes the work easier.

Big goals

When you have a BIG GOAL, it can seem intimidating and not at all fun. The secret to achieving that BIG GOAL is to chop it into smaller, more manageable goals and incorporate some fun into it if possible. And big goals can seem crushingly hard, unless you’re committed to its success. I wrote about that just a couple of weeks ago.

For example, if, as my sister and I did, you had to move all of your grandmother’s things into your house and then, after living with the clutter for a couple of years, decide to declutter – that’s an impossible goal to manage all at once. So we thought about the best way to tackle the job and came up with the strategy of: one room at a time, in fifteen to twenty minute chunks.

We started with a corner of one room, set up our three stations: throw away (for things that we could not see anyone having a use for, ever), donate (for things that we couldn’t see ourselves using) and keep (for things we couldn’t bear to give up). We worked for fifteen minutes every day, and in a matter of months the job was complete.

A side note: don’t ever feel badly about keeping something when you’re trying to declutter. You’re entitled to your feelings. Think about the item. Will you be sorry if you never see it again? You can always get rid of something but you can’t get it back.

And the goal of losing weight. If you have more than 3 pounds to lose, that’s a BIG GOAL. It’s hard and needs to be addressed as a true achievement. Intermediate goals should be set and addressed.

Little goals

I practice my balance every day by standing on one foot for a minute while I brush my teeth. That’s a total of two minutes, which is how long we’re supposed to brush our teeth. My little goal is to not put a toe down before the time is up. My reward if I’m successful? Well, in this case, just the knowledge that I’m growing stronger and my balance is improving. I’ve been doing this long enough that the exercise is a habit.

But your little goals can range from substituting a piece of fruit for the candy you usually eat in the afternoon, to focusing on work for an extra five minutes. And then reward yourself with a big stretch or an extra round of Spider Solitaire.

My goal of 10 regular pushups is a medium-sized goal. It’s big enough that it needs to get chopped up and intermediate goals set, but not big enough that it will take months. And when I reach that goal? I’ll think of another.

You’re not alone

I have to apologize to you. For some time now, I’ve been writing about what it takes to be healthy, eat right to lose weight, exercise regularly and it may have seemed like you have to do it in a vacuum. That’s just not true!

You’re not alone

You’re not alone. You shouldn’t be alone, especially not on this journey. The more you involve other people who support you the better! If your friends and family truly want what’s best for you then they can only support your path to fitness.

After all, we humans are social beasts. When we’re around others who have the same set of beliefs, we thrive. We have meaningful discussions and make each other think. When we’re with others who support us, we’re growing our resilience, just as we’re helping others grow theirs.

And these days, we’re able to physically see our friends and family more than in the past year. It’s a time for togetherness, happiness and optimism.

Get together!

Your journey to fitness should be an opportunity for togetherness!

Friends can help in your fitness journey. You are not alone.

By all means, involve your friends and family in your fitness journey. Share healthy recipes. Or go to your favorite restaurant that offers options that are appealing to you with your modified – healthy – mindset.

Be sure that those around you really are supportive. I don’t mean to sound negative, but you definitely only want people around you who really care about your best interests.

Just like you can sabotage your own efforts, others can, too. So my suggestion is to explain exactly what you’re doing and your reasons. Offer any research that you’ve done if questions are raised.

It’s natural to resist change. And that can be true about personal change as well. Make sure that your friends and family know that you’re still you! You still have the same interests, hobbies (with maybe a few healthier ones added to the mix), taste in clothes and books, and love for chocolate. Don’t let those who are resisting your change, change your mind! You’re on the road to health and wellness. This can only benefit everyone around you.

And when your “tribe” knows that you haven’t actually joined a cult, and you’re on the fitness path for good reasons, they may even join you!

Commitment is easy

I’ll use losing weight as an example, but the same truth holds for nearly every undertaking. They say that losing weight takes real commitment. So you hesitate because, well, commitment. But commitment is easy.

Where do you want to be?

When the path offered to you is the best way to get to where you want to be, it’s easy to stay committed to that path. When your reason for taking that path is so important to you that it keeps you up at night, has you researching solutions at all hours of the day, and distracts you so much that you find it difficult to focus on other things, commitment is easy.

If the vision you have for your life involves playing with kids, grandkids, dogs or even cats, commitment to your weight loss path is easy. If you want to work in your garden or even sit comfortably in a chair, if you have that focused picture in your brain, commitment to losing weight is easy.

Those triceps are not going to work themselves. When I realized that I really wanted my arms to be toned, commitment to that was easy.

My grandmother had triceps that I did not want. Really did not want. I realized that at an early age, when she was probably no older than I am now (65). I wanted toned arms, not wiggly jiggly arms. Commitment to that was easy. So most every workout I do now has a section that focuses on triceps (triceps kickback exercise pictured).

If your reason for undertaking that journey is so overwhelming that there is no other option than to take it, then there’s no question of your commitment.But if you think to yourself that it would just be “nice,” then you won’t be committed to that goal.

Do you have the reason to commit?

So, think about your reasons to undertake that journey. Are they all-consuming, or just “nice?” If they’re just nice, this is probably not the time for you to start. If you have questions, if you’re not certain, then certainly you’ll fail.

On the other hand, if your reason is so huge that it takes up most of your brain, it’s time to focus. Recognize that no one else will do this for you. (I wrote about this a while ago.) Time to plan. Start to think of a concrete method to get you to where you want to be.

Once you have a reason and a plan, there’s no stopping you! It’s time to put that plan into action.

Next step: set goals. I find that it’s best to lay out my ultimate goal – what the final picture looks like. Then set intermediate goals. These goals must be challenging, but achievable. And they must be written down. If you see your goals in your own handwriting, they’re yours. You have an investment in them.

Start brainstorming. What do you REALLY want?

Positive reinforcement works for me

In addition to writing articles about fitness and trying to inspire other (mostly) women over … a certain age …. to become more fit, I train my dogs using positive reinforcement. It occurred to me lately that positive reinforcement works for me, too.

Booker is heeling at Fran's side: positive reinforcement works

In the dog training world, many trainers, including me, have moved to a place where we reward the dog for doing what we ask them to and ignore other behaviors (unless they do something really outrageously wrong). A big difference from about twenty years ago (maybe less than that), when it was a common practice for handlers to jerk the dog on a choke chain into place and hurl a jar filled with noisy pebbles at a dog. Fear was the common motivator in dog training. Now our dogs learn to think and make correct choices.

Now my dog walks at my side when I tell him to, looking up at me for his next “assignment.” I reward that behavior.

How does that positive reinforcement work for me?

I know that there are certain “behaviors” that I’m supposed to do. Eat well. Go to work. Be nice to other people. Exercise a few times a week. If I do all that, I give myself a reward. That reward could be something as insignificant as a shower after my workout. Maybe an extra piece of tomato on my sandwich. Why so minimal? Because these things have become habits for me.

The newer a behavior is, when I’m trying to form a new habit, the bigger and better the reward. The same for dog training. If I’m just starting to teach my dog to walk close to my left side, I’ll give him a jackpot reward the first couple of times he finds that position on his own. That way he’ll be more likely to repeat the behavior! But after a period of time, say a few weeks, my dog has been walking in heel position on his own for all that time. So, a periodic reward will spark his enthusiasm and keep him there. In the same vein, after a particularly tough workout, I might reward myself with an extra long stretch.

Positive reinforcement for the masses

Lately we’ve seen states and municipalities reward residents for getting COVID vaccines. They’re rewarding a behavior that people were either resistant to or saw no benefit in for themselves. That’s positive reinforcement working in a very big way.

Positive reinforcement works for me, it’ll work for you. And it’s certainly a lot more palatable than punishing myself for something I didn’t do.

How to truly focus

I write about focus about once a month. But I don’t think I’ve written about how to truly focus. Focus is an integral part of getting anything done. To single-mindedly work on a task to completion. To work only on that task and not grasp at shiny objects for as long as it takes to complete that task. For some tasks your focus can be narrowed to just seconds. But for others, if a task requires many steps, your focus must last and last…

For example, if I’m writing a blog post (like this one!) I must gather my thoughts, decide on how I want to approach a topic, form an outline with the progression of thoughts, actually write the article and make sure it’s in some semblance of grammatically correct English. Writing an article can take up to an hour, which is a long time to focus.

These days, it’s increasingly difficult to focus. Our phones are always nearby – the most attractive productivity-busters around. The news is always on and it’s hardly ever good. Noise is everywhere.

So, how can we get things done?

Decide what you want to get done
Break it down into manageable chunks
Remove distractions
Clear your mind
Do it.
Reward!

Decide what you want to get done

For example – me writing that article. Or, it could be cleaning out a closet. Making dinner. Decide on the task.

Break it down

Some tasks don’t really require dividing up. Like making dinner.

Others will lend themselves to tackling in pieces. Like writing that article: Decide on a topic; Create an outline; Write notes on outline items; Write the article – section by section; Proofread and edit; Publish.

Or organizing a closet: Divide up that closet and go at it one section at a time.

Remove Distractions

This can be wrenching for some people because it requires turning off notifications and not looking at your phone. If that’s hard for you, turn off your phone. If you can’t do that, put it in a different room while you get your task done.

Yes, it’s hard. But it’s not forever. That’s why we break tasks down into manageable pieces.

Now put the dogs in another room too, or in crates if you use them. Because you’ll be tempted to play with them.

Clear your mind

For some tasks, this may not be necessary. If you’re trying to create, you will want to start with a clear mind. So close your eyes for a few seconds and think “nothing.” If that’s not possible, try a short Guided Meditation (like the Garden walk). Open your eyes and …

Do it

Get that task done. Or the section you’re working on. Remember that this is not a prolonged period of time that you’ll be without your Insta notifications or your playmate (dog). Just as long as it takes to get that section of your larger task done.

Also remember that the more you practice this sequence and remind yourself how to truly focus, the easier it will become.

Reward

Go play with your dog.

Have you been slouching on the couch?

Our make-do office solutions

Many of us, used to working in a proper office, with a proper desk and a proper desk chair, have been working from home the last few months without any of those proper things. Some of us have set up a make-shift desk with any old chair or have been working on the dining room table.

Others have been sitting on the couch with our laptops heating up the cushions.

Mom’s not there to correct your posture, and we’ve been slouching.

Come on, you know it’s true. Your mom hasn’t been around to poke her finger into the middle of your back and tell you to sit up straight.

As a result, your back is killing you. We’ve talked before about some simple ways to correct your behavior to prevent back pain, and these tips will help if you fall off the wagon with that, too.

Help your back after slouching on the couch with these 5 tips

Aside from buying an entire office suite for your home (or following Bob Vila – from the vintage series “This Old House” and his suggestions), there are ways to help your back after slouching on the couch right away.

Every twenty minutes to a half hour, take a break. Stand up. Walk around. Even march in place. Take a drink of water – that may not be for your back, but it is good for your general health and well-being.

head rolls to help your back after slouching on the couch

Every hour or so, shrug your shoulders and roll them. Exaggerate the motion so that you feel it. If you can do it without your neck screaming at you, roll your head gently from side to side, up and down, and around.

Suck in your stomach as you sit up straight. All the time. It really does help to strengthen your core and your back.

Your next break, sit up straight, suck your stomach in and hold your arms straight out to the side. Your core has to work that much harder to keep you upright.

The break after that, stand up straight then roll down to reach toward your toes. It’s OK if you can’t reach them. Make sure you’re holding your stomach in for this entire exercise. Hold for just a few seconds then slowly roll up. One vertebra at a time. Breathe in as you roll up – if you’re prone to dizziness that will help. Stomach still sucked in? Good. Now breathe out and breathe in again.

Go back to work.

Pull yourself out of the dumps

Some days are real downers. On those days, it’s easy to see how some may become chronically depressed. You’re so sad that even though you don’t drink to excess, a cocktail sounds mighty good. At 2:00 in the afternoon. Not even the sunshine can cheer you up. Your adorable dog doing something amazingly cute can only make your mouth turn up a little. You don’t see how you’ll ever be happy again. But it is possible to pull yourself out of the dumps.

I’m not a psychologist, so I can only use myself as an example. But I’m pretty average, so it works.

My personal trash heap – Time to pull myself out of the dumps

The pandemic is still running rampant, but fortunately vaccines have been approved and are available. But not widely available here. I’m lucky enough to live in a Village that has its own Health Department which has vaccine clinics available by appointment. However, the supply in my area is extremely limited and the demand far outstrips the supply. I’m so happy that most people in my area want to get vaccinated, but every time I learn by email that supply is available and try to make an appointment, they’re all gone. No appointments available at local pharmacies either. My friends have been vaccinated. My sister got her first dose. Even my 20-year-old neighbor got his. I know that I will probably have an opportunity soon, but in the meantime I’m sad and frustrated.

I hardly ever remember my dreams. But a couple of days ago I dreamed of my mom, who’s been gone for over 20 years. I miss her every day, so it was great seeing her. I woke up and tears started flowing.

When I add my newer physical ailments to these things, I’m even more sad. Every so often my thumb joint hurts like crazy and it’s hard to hold things in my left hand. It’s good that I’m right-handed, but it’s still painful.

Wallow? Not me…

So yesterday I felt myself wallowing. I decided it was time to pull myself out of the dumps!

I started with some deep diaphragm breathing. Sitting straight, bring air in through your nose and let your diaphragm inflate. Hold your breath for a couple of seconds, then breathe out.

Meditation is one step to pull yourself out of the dumps.

Then a little meditation. Just a couple of minutes. I use my own guided meditations. (I’m a fan of the water, so the River and Ocean ones are my favorites.) Eyes closed, seated comfortably – and not in the Lotus position. My knees don’t move that way.

A couple of shoulder rolls followed. It was my regular workout time, so I changed and chose a really sweaty routine. I’ve written about focus enough lately that you know I was completely into the workout. (https://fitness-over-50.com/2021/04/no-one-is-watching-so-just-do-it/ ) And it was done almost before I knew it. A nice warm shower made me feel almost human again.

And while I can’t say that I was happy after all of that, I was definitely less sad.

So, it is possible to pull yourself out of the dumps. And trying these methods is certainly more appealing than wallowing in your own tears.

Get focused, get happier

Is your brain like a birdie flitting around a cloud?

Some days are lost causes. You feel scattered, your thoughts are all over creation, you’re not getting anything done, and you’re unsettled. That could be because a weather front is coming through. Your significant other told you a big whopper. Your dog threw up on the rug. And your loss of focus makes you feel guilty for not getting things done. And you’re not happy.

Then it stands to reason that if you regain your focus, you’ll be happier.

So, how exactly can you get focused and get happier?

Lists!

My Google Calendar with Google Keep helps me get focused and get happier. — A portion of my calendar, with Google Keep to the side. It helps me get focused and get happier.

I’m a big fan of lists. I have multiple lists in my Google Keep. (If you use Google Calendar, Google Keep works with it seamlessly, as you would expect. You’ll see a portion of my calendar here, with Notes. And, yes, I have the Chicago Cubs games on my calendar so I can listen to games when I can.) Lists for every aspect of my life. Of course, some aspects overlap, so as long as you check all your lists when you have time to actually do something, you won’t miss anything.

If you prefer actual written lists – even better. You can carry it with you and not worry about battery life. As long as you have a scrap of paper and a pen (or pencil), you’re good to go.

Now, list all the things running around in your mind. For this exercise, just the big ones. We’ll do a deep dive into all the things flitting around bugging your brain at another time.

Tackle the big ones

Take a look at them. What’s most important? Do that. Then move onto the next. For however long you want to devote to this exercise.

Feel a sense of accomplishment?

Now, go sweat

And go exercise. Studies have shown that exercise improves clarity and focus. I’ve written about this before. Plus, when you’re done, you’ll have an incredible sense of satisfaction, having burned all those calories.

Or meditate. Or practice another mindfulness technique, like deep breathing.

You should be much more focused now. More able to face life. And that should definitely make you happier.