Still anxious and stressed?

If you’re still anxious and stress, you could have GAD. That’s “Generalized Anxiety Disorder.” Yes, everyone is stressed these days. Combine a global pandemic with the country’s economic woes, and top it off with horrible weather – that adds up to a whole lot of stress. I wrote about stress a few months ago and some ways to deal with it. Stress hasn’t gone away. But regular, everyday stress could become bigger and turn into something that needs professional treatment.

An expert defines the terms

Angela Casper, licensed clinical social worker and behavioral health services coordinator at Advocate Illinois Masonic Medical Center in Chicago helps distinguish between run-of-the-mill stress and Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD) requiring treatment. GAD is defined as excessive worry and anxiety for more days than not during a six month period. This worry and anxiety is not focused on anything in particular – not work or home life, a specific event or anything else. This stress can also cause severe impairment of daily life or job performance. Casper says that sufferers describe this stress as “free floating” and can’t really pin down any feeling specifically. If this sounds familiar, you’ll want to pay attention to the frequency of your anxiety symptoms and your difficulty functioning because of them. If you can’t do the things you want or need to do, then you might need to visit a professional.

Anxiety reducers:

If you're feeling anxious and stressed, meditation could help.

But if you’re unsure as to the severity of your symptoms, or just want to decrease your anxiety, Casper recommends trying these things:

  • Prioritize basic self-care activities and routines.
  • Maintain a consistent sleep schedule.
  • Maintain good nutrition.
  • Reduce caffeine consumption.
  • Be sure to take your prescribed medication.
  • Practice relaxation techniques like deep breathing or meditation.If you’re new to meditation, try a guided one like my “Garden meditation.”
  • Get regular physical exercise.
  • Acknowledge and express your emotions – journal them if nothing else. A journal is your safe place – you can write anything down and not be judged. No one else will see what you wrote. I’ve created some lined journals, available on Amazon.
  • Practice acceptance of yourself and others.

This is a stressful time, there’s no doubt about it. So whatever you do to reduce your own stress is worthwhile. And if you need to, talk to a pro. There’s no shame in getting the help you need.

Sleep much?

Me neither. And we’re not alone. Insomnia is not uncommon, and the pandemic has made it worse.

Sleeplessness is not uncommon. Destress with this sunset.
Natural light can help sleep.

Our lives have been disrupted. If you worked at an office, chances are you’ve been working from home more. If you care for children, chances are they’ve been doing quite a bit of learning remotely. If you used to go to a gym or health club, chances are they’ve been closed. Restaurants have been closed too, so you may be cooking more. You have a different schedule than you used to. Being stuck inside could mean that you haven’t been exposed to as much natural light as you used to. You may be napping more, which also disrupts your natural circadian rhythm.

Stress also can cause sleeplessness

During normal times we have stress in our lives. And now, even a year after the pandemic began, stress is still with us. We still don’t know exactly what causes the infection, why it affects some people more than others. And while vaccines have been approved, they are  not available for much of the population yet. So we’re stressed about catching the coronavirus and spreading it to others. We’re worried about that. We’re worried about the economy. And we toss and turn and lose sleep.

Isolation

Without contact with our friends, family and coworkers, we feel isolated and alone, leading to depression and sleeplessness again. Virtual conferencing is great and better than no contact, but it’s not the same as being in the same room.

Blue light

And we’re probably on our screens more. We’re home, perhaps bored, so we scroll. The blue light from the screens also disrupts production of melatonin, which regulates normal sleep patterns.

Sleep is still important

Even though we may not be going out of the house and seeing people, we still need a good night’s sleep. We think better with seven or eight hours of sleep. Our bodies function better when we sleep. Sleep can reduce the effects of certain mental health conditions like anxiety disorder and bipolar disorder.

How to get a good night’s sleep

So, how do we get that full complement of sleep?

First, maintain a schedule for your day. Humans love routine. It’s comforting to us. So set your routine and stick to it. The same bedtime and awakening time is helpful. Eating meals at the same time every day can also set your biological clock.

Use your bed for sleep. Don’t read in bed and don’t watch TV in bed. Certainly don’t scroll social media in bed. In fact, experts recommend that you shut your screens down an hour before bedtime. And make your bed as appealing as possible. Fresh linens regularly creates an inviting place for sleep. A cool bedroom also is helpful for sleep.

If you’re sensitive to extraneous noises, a fan or white noise machine is also helpful. I have tinnitus and use both.

Spend some time outside in the light and in fresh air. Getting as much natural light helps your body’s natural rhythm. And moving your body during the day is important for overall health, including good sleep. Good nutrition also will benefit your health and promote better sleep. 

If you’re tempted to take a nap during the day, try to limit it to 20 minutes or so. Any more than that may disrupt your nighttime sleep.

While it may not seem that it would do much for your sleep pattern, being kind and generous may counter your feelings of anxiety and help you to sleep. Other relaxation techniques like meditation can help too. If you’d like to try meditation but don’t know where to start, short guided meditations are great starting places. Sign up for a guided Garden Meditation here.

So, know that you’re not alone in your sleeplessness. Also know that there are things you can do to improve it. Get some natural light, move your body, turn on your fan, turn off your screens and perhaps go for a brief but peaceful virtual walk in a garden.

It’s time to congratulate yourself

For whatever you’ve been up to. If you’ve accomplished anything – anything at all – it’s time to congratulate yourself! 

So often we get caught up in life, in the everyday things, in the endless list of chores and errands, that we forget to stop for a moment, look back and say, “I did a good job!” But it needs to be done.

Congratulate yourself! Full plank with bird dog balance!
I did it! Full plank with bird dog balance!

Isolation

The better part of the last year, we’ve each been quite isolated and without a great deal of personal contact with others. It’s easy to wrap ourselves in that cocoon to protect ourselves and continue as we’ve been going. The coronavirus pandemic has been so widespread and so deadly that it’s become almost second nature to fear outside contact. So we hibernate at home. Working and visiting friends remotely, through a little screen. No hugs, no handshakes, no high fives. And no dressing up to meet friends for dinner. No church or any other place of worship. No classes for the kids or for us. I train my dogs at home, in the basement. Not because there are any trials that I would feel safe entering, but because the dogs don’t understand that we can’t go to training class and still need both the exercising and the interaction with us.

So we’ve been at home, working, learning, cooking, entertaining ourselves, ordering from online sources, doing jigsaw puzzles, binging Netflix, organizing closets.

If you broke through – accomplished anything – Yay!

And if you did any of that – if you learned a new skill, started a new hobby, learned to cook new dishes or cleaned out a closet – Yay! Good for you! Congratulations! Well done!

You’ve tried to make the most of a very difficult situation. You didn’t feel sorry for yourself, but actually did something positive. No matter how big or small, just the fact that you thought about something other than the depressing world we live in is a positive step toward growing your resiliency! And for that, you should feel wonderful. That’s one certain way that you’ll come out of this better than you were before.

Here’s more about resilience: https://fitness-over-50.com/2019/07/grow-your-resilience/

Be Bold – Be Optimistic

I’ve been writing about optimism quite a bit lately. Perhaps because the times we live in are so stressful, I feel the need to try to rise above the stress and bring others along with me. It’s natural to have down days as well as optimistic ones. And of course, things can happen throughout the day even if you start out optimistic to cause you to sit back and reflect, and possibly feel down. But that’s the easy route. Be bold – be optimistic. 

One chance

Be optimistic. Smile. Be grateful - you're alive.

The fact is, we only get one go-round in this life (that we know of). So I figure we might as well make the most of it. I’ve got enough wrinkles from my 65 years of living, I don’t have to manufacture more with frowning. When I feel down and recognize it, I try to bring myself out of the doldrums any way I can. Of course, sometimes I don’t recognize my bad moods and depressed thoughts, and it goes to others (mainly my sister) to figuratively slap me upside the head and take a look at myself and listen to what’s coming out of my mouth. Because when I’m feeling stressed, anxious and in a bad mood, I have the unfortunate tendency to take my bad mood out on others. Again, mainly my sister. For that, I sincerely apologize.

Smiles ahead

So how do you make a frown turn upside-down? Easy. Step one: just smile. Many times your thoughts go where your expression is. So if you’re feeling gloomy, put a huge smile on your face. Exaggerate it. Show lots of teeth. For five seconds. Not feeling so grouchy anymore, are you?

Move it

A great way to feel more optimistic is to move your body. This doesn’t have to be a full-fledged workout, although that is certain to do the trick, but if you get up and move to your favorite music, say, after a couple of tunes you’ll be on your way to optimism.

Exercise reduces bad moods and depression. That “exercise high” is not a myth! Regular exercise helps the brain produce a protein that seems to fortify parts of the hippocampus susceptible to depression, neuroscience has revealed. And Swedish researchers have found that exercise helps to keep your brain safe from harmful substances (one is called kynurenine) that build up during stress. Read more about how exercise will benefit you: https://fitness-over-50.com/2018/04/more-reasons-to-exercise/

Another great way to feel more optimistic (but perhaps not immediately) is to improve your diet. Research has shown that a cleaner diet kind of cleans out your brain too. So, cut back on the processed foods and eat more fruits and veggies. But watch the fruit because there’s a lot of sugar there. So eat more veggies.

Don’t think

Meditation has been shown to be a mood lifter too. You don’t have to be a serious yogi to meditate. Just find a comfortable position and clear your brain for a while. If clearing your brain is hard, you might want to try a guided meditation. And it doesn’t have to be long, either. As short a period as 3 minutes can make a huge difference.

Gravitate to Gratitude

Lastly, a sure-fire path to optimism and happiness is gratitude. You can have no place for unhappiness when you’re feeling grateful. And feeling grateful for something – anything – will set you far along on your path to happiness. It may seem too simple, but it’s true. Just by saying, “I’m grateful for the sunshine” will make my unhappiness go away? Perhaps not so easily, but you’re looking at the sun shining, squinting your eyes, and smiling, aren’t you? And smiling is a definite step to happiness.

And when you write down the things that you’re grateful for, when you journal your feelings of gratitude, your happiness will grow. Just the act of writing something down solidifies it. (That’s one reason we all took notes in class at school!) Of course, you can journal your gratitude on anything, but sometimes nothing comes immediately to mind. It’s OK if you have to look for things to be grateful for. Sometimes days are like that. So it’s helpful to have journaling prompts. This Gratitude and Happiness Journal not only has prompts, but also inspirational quotes to start you thinking along an optimistic path. 

So, be bold. Be optimistic. You’ll stand out, and everyone will think, “Wow, she always seems so happy. I want to be like her!”

How is your anger level?

Angry with the world?

How is your anger level? Are you easy to anger? When things don’t go right, do you get angry with your partner? The dog? The world? Do you lash out? Say things you don’t mean? Read on for ways to deal with it now.

How is your anger level? Are you angry with the world? Here's how to deal.

While it’s frustrating when the outcome you were hoping for doesn’t happen, or when someone does things you take exception to, anger may be harming you more than the thing you were angry about by making you ill. And your anger may cause irreparable rifts in relationships. If you say something to a person you care about in the heat of the moment, you’ll probably regret it later.

How to deal with feelings of anger

Rather than have to apologize later, here are some ways to deal with your feelings of anger now.

  • The pause that refreshes. Rather than lash out and say something (or worse, punch something) immediately, take a breath and think. Let someone else take the lead and decompress the situation. Or give the individual who’s fermenting your anger an opportunity to think about his or her statement and realize that it may have been inappropriate.
  • Use “I” instead of “you.” If you do address the individual, use statements beginning with “I.” If you start by saying, “I’m upset by your statement,” or “I’m frustrated when …” and give your reasons rationally this may have a much better outcome than if you say, “You’re an idiot for saying something so stupid!” Likewise, avoid absolute words like “never” and “always.” Like, “You never …” or “I always have to …”
  • Resolve, don’t instigate. If there’s a problem and you see a solution that will make sense, offer it. Don’t just point out the problem and expect others to resolve it to your satisfaction. Take charge and you may get the result you want.
  • Be like Elsa. Let anger and frustration go. You may not forget, but be sure to forgive. Life’s too short to hold onto resentment, anger and frustration. You’ll be happier and more at peace.
  • Move. Be sure to exercise. Exercise is definitely the best stress-reliever. It doesn’t matter what form your exercise takes, but be sure you do it. After a good workout, you may be more likely to be calmer and solutions may present themselves.
  • Relax. Take time for you. If you’re rushing all the time, your brain can’t settle itself and figure out what it needs. Just a few minutes a day may be all you need to get your positivity back.

Take a breath

So, even if you see something, hear something or think of something that makes you feel your anger rising, just take a few seconds. Just a few. Think about your reaction. Take a breath. If you still feel angry, think about what you’re going to say that won’t escalate the situation and may, in fact, lead to a resolution.

Here’s the opposite of anger: Happiness!

I’m taking Nike’s slogan

Everyone recognizes Nike’s trademarked slogan, “Just do it!” But it has real meaning for me.

Lots of things I DON’T want to do

There are many things none of us wants to do on any given day. But in order to live with ourselves, we recognize that we just have to buckle down and “do it.” I don’t want to get up, but I have to take the dogs out or I’ll have a wet bed. So I do it. I don’t want to tackle the mess on my desk, but I have to or I won’t be able to find anything. So I’ll do it. I don’t want to face the crowds at the fruit market this afternoon in a mask, but we need stuff so I’ll just do it.

Cook?

I don’t want to actually cook meals, but they’re so much better, healthier and more affordable than anything out of a box or delivered, so I’ll do it. I made a dynamite soup on Saturday with sweet potatoes, chicken and swiss chard (that I should have taken pictures of ) that warmed us up on a raw, miserable day. And it was worth it.

So I remember those things as I stare at the piles on my desk as I write this. Now where’s that receipt from …

Working out

The same applies to working out.

I don’t like to work out. But I do it.

It’s become a habit. 

Samuel Johnson, the famous 18th century literary figure said, “The chains of habit are too weak to be felt until they are too strong to be broken.”

What does that mean? 

Just do it! That applies to exercise.

We do something and do the same thing, and do it over and over again. That thing becomes a habit. And then when we decide to not do it, it’s practically impossible. Not doing that thing creates a hole in ourselves that we are compelled to fill with that thing. Not doing it will leave you with the feeling that something is missing for the rest of the day. 

It takes conscious effort to break a habit. And it’s not easy. It may be easier to develop a habit than to break one. (Not that you’d want to break the habit of exercising.)

So, exercising is a habit. It’s just something I do. Every Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday and Saturday. It doesn’t matter what I do during my workout. I just do it on those days. Even if I just have 20 minutes to devote to my workout. I make those the best 20 minutes of exercise that I can. But I do it.

Here are 4 ways that exercise can become a habit: https://fitness-over-50.com/2017/05/4-things-to-make-exercise-a-habit/

Sharpen your focus

Everyone exercises for different reasons. Sure, some of them may be similar – like staying fit, losing weight, strengthening muscles. But exercise also helps you in other ways: it helps your brain.

Exercise equals food for the brain

Your focus will improve after you exercise.

As we age, it seems like everything deteriorates. It’s the old “use it or lose it” adage. If we don’t exercise, our muscles become weak and may even atrophy. If we don’t do weight-bearing exercises, our bones become brittle and may break.

Exercise provides oxygen for the brain, but even more, exercise helps our brain in other ways.

A recent study of athletes’ brains showed that they were better at ignoring distracting background noise and better at focusing on the sounds that really mattered to them. The study tested athletes and other participants by attaching electrodes to their scalps and studying the electricity their brains produced when different sounds were introduced. 

Dr. Kate Essad, Lead of Sports Neurology, Director of Concussion Management at Aurora Health Center in Milwaukee, says that “by doing activities like sports, which require habituation of reaction time and integrating many different sensory systems, your brain can function faster and it can perform tasks faster – and probably better.”

“Most neurological conditions, migraine, dementia – all of them are benefitted by regular exercise because the brain requires fresh blood flow and cardiovascular conditioning,” she says. “And all of these conditions are reduced by stimulating your brain. It’s the most important thing for dementia and cognitive decline – things people get when they age.”

Take a focus break

So, if you’re sitting at your desk and have been working away for a couple of hours and your mind starts to wander – you’re losing focus – take a break. Get up and walk for ten minutes. When you get back and start work again, chances are you’ll be able to concentrate better and be much more productive.

Dr. Essad also points out that there are other ways to help your brain too, like reading and writing, learning a new language, or playing a musical instrument.

Everyday things to help your brain

And everyday there are things we can do to make sure our brains age as well as the rest of us:

Get plenty of exercise, practice mindfulness or meditation and make healthy food choices.

Read about how I clear my mind so that it’s able to focus on important stuff.

Where’s my motivation?

Where's my motivation to workout - be an exerciser!

A few months ago, after the initial shock of the lockdown, many of us were inspired to begin exercising at home. We couldn’t go to gyms, so we worked out in our living rooms or basements, or started walking or running outside.

But as the weeks went on, as the saying goes, we’re just “not that into it” anymore.

Where’s my motivation? Where did it go?

We may have lost that initial glow, that feeling of, “Hey! Look at me! I’m actually exercising and I even lost a few pounds.”

But then things started to go back to semi-normal. Gyms started opening up, but it wasn’t the same. There were occupancy limits. Masks were required in many cases. It was hard. We may have gone back a few times, but it was hard.

And then cases started rising and things locked down again.

And your motivation up and went. The starting and stopping, starting and stopping – do I go to the gym? do I go for a run? Or, do I sit on the couch.

Different motivations

Starting a new behavior requires much different motivation than keeping that behavior going.

At first we were inspired to do something that was actually good for us while we were cooped up at home. We were told that we should exercise – it would be good for us.

But then we were able to do other things, outside our homes. Meet friends at restaurants – outside, perhaps, but still a social gathering. Or go shopping. And so our motivation to exercise went by the wayside.

It’s much more difficult to sustain motivation for a behavior that we may not be that invested in to start with. We need more than “we should do this” to keep it going.

Make it easy

If you’re serious about wanting to exercise – and I’ve written before about the many reasons TO exercise, make it easy on yourself. Make it easy to be an exerciser.

  1. Have your workout gear handy. Whether you work out at home or actually go to a gym – have a drawer, or part of a drawer, specifically for clothes you use to work out in.
  2. Do something you like, or don’t mind so much. Whether it’s running, walking, lifting weights, dancing, yoga – figure out what you won’t mind doing for 30 – 40 minutes a few times a week and
  3. SCHEDULE it. Yes – write it down in your calendar. It helps to make it the same time on the days that you exercise – you will get used to exercising at that time. Whether it’s 7:00 in the morning, 3:30 in the afternoon or 10:00 at night. Make an appointment with yourself. Every day. Write it down. Make it a repeating appointment in your Google calendar.
  4. If you feel like running one day and lifting weights the next – perfectly OK. Don’t lock yourself into a particular style of exercise. Cross-training is good for you.

Get your motivation back. Be an exerciser, not just someone who sometimes exercises. Your body – and your mind – will thank you.

Multitasking can be dangerous

We’ve already established that as we get older, our balance diminishes unless we actively do something about it. But what does that mean in real life?

Walking and talking

Walking and scrolling may be dangerous

If we’re taking a walk outside when the weather is nice, we may be looking at the trees or noticing the flowers. If we add something to the mix, like talking on our phone – we may not notice the uneven pavement. Talking with friends is great, but we get so involved in the conversation – agreeing with or arguing about a topic with the friend – that we get distracted. If we’re distracted, we’re not paying attention to where we’re going. While we probably won’t run into the walker ahead of us, we may not notice the huge crack until it’s too late. So we may want to wait until we get home to call our friends. Listening to a podcast or an audiobook is different. We’re not actively engaged in that second pursuit, so we can focus on our steps. If you’re in a safe area, by all means, plug in those earphones (or airphones, whichever…)

Overload!

Carrying the groceries into the house from the car can be another dangerous pursuit. Don’t overload. And don’t try to carry too much at one time. If you overload the bags, they may be too heavy for you. Don’t hurt yourself by trying to lift too much weight. And if you try to take too many bags at once, you won’t be able to see the ground in front of you and could trip over something in your way that you don’t see.

Multitasking – dangerous for your health

Cooking while watching TV and scrolling your newsfeed or checking your email? You may want to cut one of those activities. I know – you have to put dinner on the table and that’s not the most exciting thing. By all means listen to the news on TV or on your phone, but don’t watch an adorable cat video at the same time. You don’t want anything to get burned – especially your dinner.

And multitasking could reduce your productivity – read more.

The moral? Pay attention. Multitasking can be dangerous.

Feeling happy today

Why do I feel happy?

I’m feeling happy today and I don’t really know why. There’s still a pandemic. The economy (no matter what anyone says) is really not doing very well. I spent most of the day working on a grant application and then the submission host crashed…

But, I put my favorite station on Pandora and I’ve been bouncing in my seat all day.

The sun is shining. The air is a little cooler and more clear. I had a (pretty) good night’s sleep. My back doesn’t hurt and I put in 4 good workouts this week. I was able to watch some of a live stream from one of my favorite places on earth and watched a dolphin paint a wine glass. I might have to save my pennies to bid on that during the auction!

Feeling happy!

Optimism rocks!

I’m feeling optimistic as a result. Our grant will be accepted. It won’t be 90 degrees again this year. They’ll find and approve an effective vaccine and figure out a way to manufacture and distribute it safely to everyone who wants it expeditiously.

The moral there is – get happy. Grow your optimism. Find ways to make yourself happy. Pessimism paralyzes. When you’re feeling down about everything it’s much more difficult to get up the energy to accomplish even the most necessary tasks. Connect with friends. Seek out things that are guaranteed to make you happy – at least, happier.

Results of happiness

When you’re happy, you’re more productive. You relate better to others. You’re kinder. You sleep better. For me, when I’m happy and optimistic, I snap at others less. I’m able to plan. I look forward, and don’t dwell on the past. I’m less likely to eat junk. I’ll sleep better and wake more refreshed. Smiling uses fewer muscles – I won’t get lines around my mouth. And all that dancing in place has surely burned a few calories!