Minding my own business. Rolling along… Working, exercising, training the dogs… And then bam! An emergency. And then another one. Life throws curveballs at anytime. What can we do?
Everything’s under control … until it’s not
We think we’ve got our lives under control. Great house, great family, cute dogs, fulfilling work. And then things happen. Something is eating the garden. The dog starts throwing up. A family member develops a condition that, it turns out, is chronic. Things we don’t plan for.
Events like this really test our resilience. “Psychologists define resilience as the process of adapting well in the face of adversity, trauma, tragedy, threats, or significant sources of stress—such as family and relationship problems, serious health problems, or workplace and financial stressors,” according to the American Psychological Association. As we maneuver through these events, though, we’re tempted to sit in a corner and cry or scream. But, the more resilient we are, the sooner we stand up, put our shoulders back, take a deep breath, and deal with the things that need dealing with.
Internal growth can come out of adversity
We do some internal growing as we’re dealing with these adversities, too. We all deal with adversity, but the more resilient we are, the sooner we actually address the problems that face us. And the more resilient we are, the healthier we tend to be.
Build resilience with these components
So how can we build our resilience? The APA says we need to draw on these four components: connection, wellness, healthy thinking, and meaning.
Connection means that you have a strong support system. You can bounce ideas off of others, and these others will keep you grounded.
And, we must take care of ourselves first. Like airplane attendants tell us, put your own oxygen mask on first. Our wellness must take priority. As hard as it might be, we have to focus on the things that are key to our healthy aging – exercise, nutrition, good sleep, and a healthy mental state.
Healthy thinking – it’s all too easy to think ourselves down that negative spiral. Catch yourself when it happens and pull yourself out. Change directions. Address a problem from a different angle.
And as for meaning – find your own purpose. Join a group, help others, be proactive.
After all, it’s our life. We only have one. And we have to do everything we can to get the most out of it.
