motivation Archives - Page 9 of 10 - Fran's Fitness Over 50

Choose happiness

I choose happiness almost every day. I say almost because, sometimes, reality is too much to bear. Some days the crushing weight of all the bad news in the world combined with bad news closer to home make ear-to-ear grinning happiness impossible.

Day-to-day irritations don’t matter

But most days I can let the day-to-day irritations fade into the background and choose to be happy. Yes, the dog ate something in the yard that didn’t agree with him – all over the rug. And gas went up another dime a gallon. And we had to deal with another unhappy customer wondering why the supply chain issues affected her order.

But those things aren’t enough to make me choose anything other than happiness.

Think of your happiness as a muscle

Happiness is like a muscle. Use it or lose it. Now, I don’t mean the chocolate cake type of happiness. I mean the deep-down, central to my soul kind of happiness. Yes, chocolate cake will make my taste buds very happy while I’m eating it, but a half hour later it’s a memory. But the happiness I feel when I think of my family, my dogs, my health, the little plants starting to grow outside – that doesn’t go away.

You’re probably laughing to yourself, thinking, “This Fran is a nut. I can’t choose happiness like I would choose a pair of shoes!”

To which I say, “Why not?”

Take responsibility for your own happiness

Deepak Chopra, one of the leading voices in well-being, says that we should take responsibility for our own happiness. It is in our power to be happy. If we leave it to others to make us happy, we can never be happy if we’re alone. That is unacceptable to me. I’m an introvert and I like being by myself much of the time. I like to be happy, so I choose happiness for myself.

I choose happiness. — Work your happiness!

I’ve written about how that happiness comes about in the past. And many times it’s not simply, “OK. I’m happy now.” Sometimes that works, but not very often. What usually does work for me is just closing my eyes and thinking about all the great stuff I have now in my life. I disregard the not-great stuff, because some of that will always be there and there’s not a whole lot I can do about it.

Or I put on my workout clothes and move. Exercise is a great mood-lifter. After exercise I always feel better than I did before. I not only feel happier but I feel less stressed. And after a shower I feel better still.

If you’re feeling blue, you can do something about it. Choose happiness.

Everyone has their own stuff

It doesn’t matter what anyone else is doing. Really. Everyone has their own stuff that they’re going through. And you probably don’t enter into the equation. As I’m writing this, today has been a frustrating day. Internet issues, financial institution frustrations, dog training problems. It seems like most things that can go wrong have. I work with my sister – our desks face each other. Our monitors are back to back. I’m having my issues and she’s having hers.

The important things get done

Sometimes I’m a little hesitant to work on certain things during the business day because they don’t contribute to our shared businesses. It doesn’t matter that I’ve done the tasks on those businesses that I’ve set out to do for the day, I’m still hesitant. Stupid, but there you are.

She knows, though. And, you know what? It doesn’t matter. There will always be more to do. Today? The crucial tasks are completed. Tomorrow is another day for the rest of the stuff.

She’s got her own stuff

My sister doesn’t care. She’s got her own stuff to deal with.

And if I’m focused on what others are thinking about me, I’m not getting anything productive done. Nothing on that to-do list is getting checked off. That article is not getting written. The website changes I wanted to make are not getting done. I need to focus on what’s in front of me.

They don’t care

Just like exercising – if you’re at a gym, no one is watching you. Just about everyone feels self-conscious in their workout gear, even though some will never admit it. Everyone thinks that they look stupid doing some of the exercises. A while ago I wrote about this: “No one is watching” And it holds true for most areas of life.

People, unless they actively ask you to participate in it, are so busy with their own activities that they are not paying attention to others.

They don’t care what you’re doing. What video you’re watching. If you’re listening to a business podcast or a steamy romance audiobook. Unless they ask you a question and expect you to focus on them, they don’t care that much at the moment.

It’s natural that we care what others think

Of course, in the larger scheme of things, it’s totally natural that you care about what others think of you. People are social creatures. We want to be with others, and we want others to want to be with us. It follows that in order for others to want to be with us they care about us in some fashion, so we want others to think well of us. We want to do everything we can to foster our relationships and not alienate anyone.

But for the tiny minutiae of everyday life, no one cares that you’re watching a YouTube video and not doing a crossword puzzle.

So stop wasting time. Get the important stuff (or the distasteful stuff) done first and then figure out what’s important to you. Decide on the steps you need to take to get there, and do it. If today the thing that’s important to you is regaining your focus, go exercise (because exercise really does increase focus), decide on a plan and get to work.

If you miss a day or two

You’re a few weeks into your new, “healthy you” plan and things are going fine. You have good days and days that it’s a struggle, but you’re making it through. You’ve been sweating up a storm but eating (mostly) right. But you’re starting to wonder, what happens if you miss a day or two. You may have a trip planned and you don’t know if you’ll be able to do your workouts. And if you’re on someone else’s timetable, you don’t know what the meal situation is going to be like. You’re worried that if you miss some time that your plan will be completely undone.

First, take a breath and celebrate

First, take a minute and celebrate your successes! It’s not easy sticking with a healthy plan for a few days, much less a few weeks. And you’ve done it! You’ve stuck with it! You should be incredibly proud of yourself.

But if you miss a couple of days

But that trip is coming up, and you’re concerned. Know that if you miss a day or two, it’s not the end of the road. You may eat things that aren’t on your meal plan. You may miss a few workouts. But you can’t plan your entire life around your workouts. Things happen.

It’s OK. The world will not end.

It’s OK if you miss a day or two. Or even more than that. The world will not end, and you’ll be fine.

The key is to get back on the plan as quickly as you can. And while you may not be able to completely stick with your meal plan while you’re away or your schedule is disrupted, try to eat as sensibly as you can. Don’t think to yourself, “I can’t do my plan, and I don’t want to be impolite and ask for separate food, so that’s it. I’m done.”

Eat sensibly and move!

No. Eat as sensibly as you can. Try to limit high-fat and high-sugar items. Say, “Thank you, but no” to all the sweets your host offers you. (Or just have one of your absolute favorites.) Stick as closely to your own meal plan as possible without being rude.

And get what exercise you can. Suggest walks outside. If you’re staying at a hotel, check out the fitness center.

Back to normal

You may not want to go all out when you get back to your routine after you miss a day or two.

When you get back to your normal routine, assess where you are. Get back to your healthy eating plan as quickly as possible. You may have gained a couple of pounds, but they’ll come off when you’re back to your plan.

And you may want to ease back into your exercise program a little more slowly. If you miss a day or two, you probably won’t lose momentum. But more than that and if you go back to full exertion, you could be sore for a couple of days. So, modify the intensity a bit for the first few days. And if your muscles are sore the next day, it’s normal. Follow these suggestions to feel better – Drink more, stay active and don’t sit too long. And remember that the sooner you get back to your routine, the easier it will be.

You’ll get back to your fitness routine in no time! You’ll be improving your health and increasing your resilience. There’s no need to quit if you miss a day or two in your fitness journey – you’re just taking a little break.

Maintaining Your Motivation

You’ve been eating right and exercising for a few weeks now. Congratulations! It’s been going pretty well. You’re hanging in there. But every once in a while that muffin looks better than what you planned for breakfast. Or your co-workers are going to your favorite sandwich shop for lunch. And there’s that piece of cake left over from your significant other’s birthday. Maintaining your motivation through all the temptations is really hard.

And it doesn’t get easier.

Five Keys to Maintaining your Motivation

So, how do you maintain your motivation? How do you stick to the plan? These five methods help me maintain a healthy lifestyle every day.

1. Take Each Day as it Comes

One day at a time – Today is the only day that matters in your “healthier you” plan. Yesterday is gone. No matter how “good” you were yesterday (and congratulations for that!), it doesn’t matter today. Keep that date you set up for yourself today in your calendar. (You’re doing that, right? A few weeks ago we talked about forming healthy habits, and a key point was making that recurring appointment with yourself on every day you wanted to exercise.) Make every food decision count especially on days that eating right is a challenge. For every meal you prepare, ask yourself if it’s a good choice for you.

2. Just Get Going

The final stretch with my dog. Just do it, don't agonize over working out. That's maintaining your motivation.

Don’t think too much about your workout preparation – On days that you really don’t want to exercise, just do it. Shake yourself mentally and don’t think about the things you’d rather be doing (like watching TV, reading a book, lying on the couch). Just change into your workout gear and start to exercise. Promise yourself you’ll do 10 minutes of your workout. Before you know it, you’ll be cooling down and looking forward to that final stretch.

3. Reflection

Reflect on how far you’ve come. Just a couple of weeks ago you knew you should start an exercise program and healthy eating plan but were confused about how to start and what to do. And now you’re crushing it! A great way to keep going is to put these reflections in a journal. (Check out my Gratitude and Happiness Journal on Amazon.) Every day, think about what you’re happy you’ve accomplished and write it down. When you go back and read these reflections, you can’t help but feel motivated to carry on. (Writing these thoughts down will also give you a great sense of gratitude, and we know that happiness follows gratitude, and resilience follows happiness and optimism!)

4. Visualize

Visualize yourself maintaining your motivation. Picture yourself eating a plate of vibrant greens with your family and enjoying it! Better yet – you’re all eating that wonderful salad and loving it. Feel how you’d like to be, at the place you enjoy the most, with the people you love most. Picture yourself at a party, enjoying yourself, holding a glass (a champagne flute?) of sparkling water. I can’t tell you to picture yourself exercising and loving it, because I can’t do that myself. But I do it so that the other pictures can become realities.

5. Your “Why”

Your reason for sticking to your plan. Finally, and probably the easiest way of maintaining your motivation – remember your reason for starting in the first place. Whether your reason is for your family or for your own future, remember that. You’re eating right and exercising to lower your blood pressure, to improve your cardiac conditioning, to improve your cognition and memory.

These five methods will keep you on the straight and narrow. Maintaining your motivation will be easy.

Set goals – big and little

Are you retired? Still working? Working on not working? Regardless – it’s important to set goals for yourself. The way we grow is to set goals and challenge ourselves, in whatever area we choose. And, don’t limit yourself to one area. If you’re still working, great! Set goals – big and little – for yourself professionally, but also personally.

I work for myself in a number of enterprises. I set goals for the business and for myself. One goal is to create a course relating to self-discipline that my readers (you!) will find useful in your fitness journey. My sister tells me that I have more discipline than anyone else she knows, so hopefully that expertise will help others. I’m writing my modules and hope to have a course by the end of the summer.

Another of my personal goals is to complete 10 regular pushups (from my toes). Pushups from my knees are no problem. And incline pushups are easy as well. I’m at about 4 or 5 regular ones now, so I’ll keep working at it.

To grow means that there’s work involved. Many people think the word “work” has a negative connotation. Meaning that work is bad. I don’t see it that way. Work is serious, yes, because my goals are serious to me. It’s hard. And work is challenging. But it can be fun. And the results: downright delightful.

I have fun when I work. I try to have fun all the time. Just because I’m trying to accomplish something doesn’t mean that I can’t have fun with it. Fun makes the work easier.

Big goals

When you have a BIG GOAL, it can seem intimidating and not at all fun. The secret to achieving that BIG GOAL is to chop it into smaller, more manageable goals and incorporate some fun into it if possible. And big goals can seem crushingly hard, unless you’re committed to its success. I wrote about that just a couple of weeks ago.

For example, if, as my sister and I did, you had to move all of your grandmother’s things into your house and then, after living with the clutter for a couple of years, decide to declutter – that’s an impossible goal to manage all at once. So we thought about the best way to tackle the job and came up with the strategy of: one room at a time, in fifteen to twenty minute chunks.

We started with a corner of one room, set up our three stations: throw away (for things that we could not see anyone having a use for, ever), donate (for things that we couldn’t see ourselves using) and keep (for things we couldn’t bear to give up). We worked for fifteen minutes every day, and in a matter of months the job was complete.

A side note: don’t ever feel badly about keeping something when you’re trying to declutter. You’re entitled to your feelings. Think about the item. Will you be sorry if you never see it again? You can always get rid of something but you can’t get it back.

And the goal of losing weight. If you have more than 3 pounds to lose, that’s a BIG GOAL. It’s hard and needs to be addressed as a true achievement. Intermediate goals should be set and addressed.

Little goals

I practice my balance every day by standing on one foot for a minute while I brush my teeth. That’s a total of two minutes, which is how long we’re supposed to brush our teeth. My little goal is to not put a toe down before the time is up. My reward if I’m successful? Well, in this case, just the knowledge that I’m growing stronger and my balance is improving. I’ve been doing this long enough that the exercise is a habit.

But your little goals can range from substituting a piece of fruit for the candy you usually eat in the afternoon, to focusing on work for an extra five minutes. And then reward yourself with a big stretch or an extra round of Spider Solitaire.

My goal of 10 regular pushups is a medium-sized goal. It’s big enough that it needs to get chopped up and intermediate goals set, but not big enough that it will take months. And when I reach that goal? I’ll think of another.

Commitment is easy

I’ll use losing weight as an example, but the same truth holds for nearly every undertaking. They say that losing weight takes real commitment. So you hesitate because, well, commitment. But commitment is easy.

Where do you want to be?

When the path offered to you is the best way to get to where you want to be, it’s easy to stay committed to that path. When your reason for taking that path is so important to you that it keeps you up at night, has you researching solutions at all hours of the day, and distracts you so much that you find it difficult to focus on other things, commitment is easy.

If the vision you have for your life involves playing with kids, grandkids, dogs or even cats, commitment to your weight loss path is easy. If you want to work in your garden or even sit comfortably in a chair, if you have that focused picture in your brain, commitment to losing weight is easy.

Those triceps are not going to work themselves. When I realized that I really wanted my arms to be toned, commitment to that was easy.

My grandmother had triceps that I did not want. Really did not want. I realized that at an early age, when she was probably no older than I am now (65). I wanted toned arms, not wiggly jiggly arms. Commitment to that was easy. So most every workout I do now has a section that focuses on triceps (triceps kickback exercise pictured).

If your reason for undertaking that journey is so overwhelming that there is no other option than to take it, then there’s no question of your commitment.But if you think to yourself that it would just be “nice,” then you won’t be committed to that goal.

Do you have the reason to commit?

So, think about your reasons to undertake that journey. Are they all-consuming, or just “nice?” If they’re just nice, this is probably not the time for you to start. If you have questions, if you’re not certain, then certainly you’ll fail.

On the other hand, if your reason is so huge that it takes up most of your brain, it’s time to focus. Recognize that no one else will do this for you. (I wrote about this a while ago.) Time to plan. Start to think of a concrete method to get you to where you want to be.

Once you have a reason and a plan, there’s no stopping you! It’s time to put that plan into action.

Next step: set goals. I find that it’s best to lay out my ultimate goal – what the final picture looks like. Then set intermediate goals. These goals must be challenging, but achievable. And they must be written down. If you see your goals in your own handwriting, they’re yours. You have an investment in them.

Start brainstorming. What do you REALLY want?

Pull yourself out of the dumps

Some days are real downers. On those days, it’s easy to see how some may become chronically depressed. You’re so sad that even though you don’t drink to excess, a cocktail sounds mighty good. At 2:00 in the afternoon. Not even the sunshine can cheer you up. Your adorable dog doing something amazingly cute can only make your mouth turn up a little. You don’t see how you’ll ever be happy again. But it is possible to pull yourself out of the dumps.

I’m not a psychologist, so I can only use myself as an example. But I’m pretty average, so it works.

My personal trash heap – Time to pull myself out of the dumps

The pandemic is still running rampant, but fortunately vaccines have been approved and are available. But not widely available here. I’m lucky enough to live in a Village that has its own Health Department which has vaccine clinics available by appointment. However, the supply in my area is extremely limited and the demand far outstrips the supply. I’m so happy that most people in my area want to get vaccinated, but every time I learn by email that supply is available and try to make an appointment, they’re all gone. No appointments available at local pharmacies either. My friends have been vaccinated. My sister got her first dose. Even my 20-year-old neighbor got his. I know that I will probably have an opportunity soon, but in the meantime I’m sad and frustrated.

I hardly ever remember my dreams. But a couple of days ago I dreamed of my mom, who’s been gone for over 20 years. I miss her every day, so it was great seeing her. I woke up and tears started flowing.

When I add my newer physical ailments to these things, I’m even more sad. Every so often my thumb joint hurts like crazy and it’s hard to hold things in my left hand. It’s good that I’m right-handed, but it’s still painful.

Wallow? Not me…

So yesterday I felt myself wallowing. I decided it was time to pull myself out of the dumps!

I started with some deep diaphragm breathing. Sitting straight, bring air in through your nose and let your diaphragm inflate. Hold your breath for a couple of seconds, then breathe out.

Meditation is one step to pull yourself out of the dumps.

Then a little meditation. Just a couple of minutes. I use my own guided meditations. (I’m a fan of the water, so the River and Ocean ones are my favorites.) Eyes closed, seated comfortably – and not in the Lotus position. My knees don’t move that way.

A couple of shoulder rolls followed. It was my regular workout time, so I changed and chose a really sweaty routine. I’ve written about focus enough lately that you know I was completely into the workout. (https://fitness-over-50.com/2021/04/no-one-is-watching-so-just-do-it/ ) And it was done almost before I knew it. A nice warm shower made me feel almost human again.

And while I can’t say that I was happy after all of that, I was definitely less sad.

So, it is possible to pull yourself out of the dumps. And trying these methods is certainly more appealing than wallowing in your own tears.

Be a trickster and get it done

Your usual motivation is not working

It’s not easy doing things you’re supposed to do all the time. Being a goody-two-shoes is not fun. “Adulting” is not fun. And your usual motivating speech to yourself is just not working. Sometimes you just want to break free. Take your shoes off and run barefoot. Break out of the mold and be a free spirit. Run in circles on a mountain top with your arms spread wide, breathing in the clean air.

But you’re an adult…

But then reality sets in. You’re nowhere near a mountain. There are a million things waiting for you to do and no one else is going to do them.

So you look at that never-ending list of tasks and think to yourself, “I really don’t feel like doing any of this. I wish I was somewhere else. I wish I was someone else.”

But talking like that – even to yourself – is not productive. And talking like that to yourself can do more harm than good. Bringing yourself down is one step down into the abyss of depression.

So – how do you lift yourself up and actually be happy to get stuff done?

Trick yourself

So – be a trickster. Start by picturing your favorite place. If you like the beach, picture your favorite beach. Now picture yourself in your favorite place. Take a few seconds to enjoy that. For me, it’s sitting by the water with my feet up, my dog right there, and sipping an adult beverage. Feel the breeze. Smell the ocean. Taste the drops of bliss. Now picture the task of the moment that needs to get done. Don’t let yourself think about that.

Open your eyes and dive in. You’re still sitting on the beach, but you’re getting something accomplished. Of course, you know that you’re not on the beach. You’re sitting at your desk or couch, but you’re feeling the sensations of being at the beach. And those positive sensations will linger as you take on the task of the moment. Whether it’s writing a report or clearing the clutter. Your job will be that much more pleasant for picturing your sunny spot.

Get up and do it

If something is nagging at you, and you seem to always be thinking to yourself, “I really should …” Just get up and do it.

No matter the “it”

No matter what the “it” is – you’ll be so much happier and productive if you just get it done.

Exercise? Do it.

You tell yourself, “I really should exercise.” Get up, change into your workout gear, put some music on and move. Need something more structured? The next time you have 10 minutes free at your computer, search up some 30 minute workouts on YouTube and save the links on your Google Drive. Or subscribe to PopSugar Fitness. They’ll send you an email every day that usually includes a short workout on their site from a top fitness trainer.

Eat healthy? Do the planning.

You get take-out every night and you’re tired of it. “I really should cook something healthy for dinner.” This requires a little more planning but depending on what’s in your pantry, you can do it on the spur of the moment. Just Google “healthy eating recipes” and you’ll get too many choices. You may want to take a close look at a few of the recipes you find with this search for the future. Save your favorites, make a shopping list from them and you’ll be set for a few days.

Organize the closet? Start now.

Every day you reach into your closet and encounter a tangle of hangers and clothes and you think to yourself, “I really should clean out my closet.” That prospect can be overwhelming. The good news is that you don’t have to do it all at once. It may be cathartic to clean out an entire closet at once, but that can take hours. If you don’t have hours to spend on the task, take 15 minutes and grab a handful of that tangle. Only save the items you absolutely positively know you’ll wear again. The others go in separate bags to donate and pitch. During this process you’ll have more of a mess, but it will give you more motivation to finish.

Yes, Nike has it right – this isn’t the first time I’ve used their slogan: https://fitness-over-50.com/2020/12/just-do-it-and-that-means-exercise/

Get up and do it.

Get one thing done. What a sense of accomplishment! And it will give you a reason to do it again tomorrow.

Sometimes it’s just hard

No matter the motivation, the inspiration, sometimes it’s just hard to get up the get-up-and-go to work out. Like yesterday for me. I know all the reasons to exercise. I write about them, for goodness’ sake.

But sometimes even all that knowledge just isn’t good enough to inspire me to exercise.

I know the benefits

I knew that once I started and felt everything start to tingle with the warm-up, the workout would be over before I knew it.

I also knew that when the workout was over and the final stretch and cool-down began, all those endorphins would be racing through my body and I’d feel fantastic. And that shower when I was done would feel better than great.

And I knew that I’d sleep better if I worked out. And that I would be in a better mood. And that my blood pressure would go down, I’d be able to concentrate and focus better, and that I would have even more energy after my workout. (For more benefits of exercise, read https://fitness-over-50.com/2015/09/why-exercise/)

Not enough

But that did not convince me to change into my workout gear and exercise. The dogs were not helping, they were being cute so I didn’t want to stop playing with them.

What did make me change and start my workout?

Pasta with bolognese sauce.

It was hard finding motivation. The spaghetti motivated me to work out.

My favorite. I’m a pasta-holic. I love pasta, especially my mom’s “spaghetti.” When we were growing up, mom would make spaghetti every month or so and it was always my sister’s and my favorite. Only when we were adults we learned that it was really pasta with bolognese sauce – a hifalutin’ word if ever there was one. Pasta – didn’t matter the shape – in a rich, tomato-ey sauce with caramelized onions and ground beef.

And it was for dinner. There was no way I wanted to feel guilty about consuming loads of calories of my favorite dish, and I certainly was not going to skimp on the portion size. We don’t have it that often any more.

No guilt

So I changed and worked out.

And, yes, the warmup felt good. It was an intense and sweaty workout. The stretch and cool-down felt better. The shower afterward was absolutely divine.

Best of all – no guilt. And I ate all my pasta.