Mindset Archives - Fran's Fitness Over 50

Quit the goals that don’t work for you

When is it okay to quit a goal? I’ve written a lot about setting and achieving goals. Fitness goals that can take you from winded walking down the street to running a 10K. Life goals that take you from a disorganized sad person to a Marie Kondo wannabe. But how about when you want to quit a goal? When is that okay?

Look back and assess

At the beginning of a calendar quarter or year I like to look back and then forward and try to decide on the things I want to achieve in the next few weeks or months. Those goals can be big ones, or little, some of each. When I achieve those goals, they should bring some kind of happiness and fulfillment to my life.

But what happens if you’ve been working toward a goal that you set and it’s just not happening. Every time you think about doing that work, you get sad or find something else to do. You’re thinking about just not following through on that one. You’re thinking that you’re ready to quit a goal.

If a goal isn’t working for you

But, is that so horrible? If you find that a goal is no longer important to you, or if you’re just frustrated, then it ‘s time to rethink that goal. Ryan, from Point to Point Strength and Performance says, “Although quitting is usually associated with failure and a lack of grit and perseverance, it isn’t always a bad thing.”

Look back, then, and determine if you’re getting closer to that goal. If you are, you may want to push just a little more and then reassess at the end of the week or quarter. You could just be at what Seth Godin, marketing expert and entrepreneur, calls “the dip.” If you’re closer than you were before and you believe that the goal is worth pursuing, keep at it. Your resilience is growing regardless. And if it’s a fitness goal, you’re reaching for that ultimate goal of healthy aging.

Our lives may not align with the goal

But elements of our lives change. What we thought would be important to us may no longer be important. Or training for the race just leaves us drained and weak. Time to reassess or even toss that goal. If you’re constantly frustrated when you’re working toward a goal, it could be that the goal wasn’t formulated well. Reassess. And be honest with yourself. Redo the worksheet in your Get It Done Guide. There’s no shame when you quit a goal, but make sure that it no longer matters to you.

It’s okay when you don’t know something

How to push on with your push-ups when you don’t know how

Let’s say you’ve set a fitness goal – like doing 10 regular push-ups in 6 weeks, and you currently can do 6 from your knees. That’s a great goal. It’s specific and probably achievable. You’ve set your intermediate goals, scheduled your workouts and got started. (If you’ve got visions of where you want to be but no idea of how to get there, download the Get It Done Guide for tips on setting your own goals!) Week 2 you can do 20 push-ups from your knees but can’t seem to progress to even one on your toes. What’s going wrong? How do you know when to ask for help? And realize that it’s okay when you don’t know something?

No shame in asking for help

There’s no shame in looking for additional help. When a goal is meaningful to you and you think that you’ve set all your benchmarks in place, but you feel like you’re swimming in place, it may be time to look for help. You can have all the motivation in the world – you really want to be strong enough to do those push-ups, but if it’s not happening and you’re getting frustrated, it’s time to seek outside answers.

Different ways to figure things out

It’s important to know, too, that asking for help or seeking outside answers is beneficial as well. When you shift your mindset from, “I’ve got to get this done!” to “I have to figure out a way to get this done!” then the challenges you face become opportunities and not roadblocks. When you learn about new ways of doing things, you enhance your own evolution. Continuing to learn will increase your resilience, and improve your outlook. What you saw as a failure previously, you can now see as additional motivation.

Pros have help all the time

None of us knows everything about anything. It’s okay when you don’t know something. And asking for help is a sign of strength. You’re smart enough to recognize that you don’t know something and humble enough to find the answers to your problem. And every professional athlete has a coach, a trainer, and other professionals helping them on their journey.

Intermediate push-ups steps

But back to our push-ups. From my own research, I learned some great ways to progress from knees to toes. They include push-ups on one knee, one straight leg. Also, doing push-ups leaning against a wall helps develop the upper body strength we need. And the plank exercise – from either the forearms or hands also increases our upper body strength. Remember to keep your core tight – always! – and your back straight. Don’t try to bend your elbows too much, either, especially at first!

Find comfort in routine

Everyone seems to be stressed these days. Yes, it seems like I write that every other week. But the times are turbulent and it’s hard to know what will be coming at us next. The weather is crazy, the political climate is even crazier, and then the economy is in turmoil. It’s one blow after another. My head is spinning. If you’re like me, know that you can find comfort in routine.

Routines can improve your health

Northwestern Medicine says, “By providing structure and organization, routines can improve your health in various ways.” Routine can help you manage stress, which is beneficial for our mental health. When you know something will be stable, it puts your mind at ease and boost your resilience.

Experts recommend routines for bedtime and sleep. By having a bedtime routine and getting quality sleep, our mental sharpness improves, as does our emotional well-being and energy. When I get my full seven hours, I do feel much more aware, and have more energy.

Healthy eating can be routine

Northwestern’s experts also recommend a healthy eating routine. Preparing menus and shopping at a set time every week ensures that you’re considering your nutrition. Most weeks I shop on Monday afternoons, which is not when the store’s stocks are freshest, but it’s convenient for me. There’s still plenty of great-looking fresh produce to choose.

There’s even comfort in an exercise routine

And, of course, the experts advocate an exercise routine. Staying active, as we know, is essential for our healthy aging. And, as I’ve recommended as well, scheduling your exercise helps you maintain that routine.

But don’t get too set in your ways

But we don’t want to stagnate, either. I’ve talked about goal-setting the last few weeks. We want our routines, but it’s also necessary to grow. So, think about what you want out of life. What’s missing that you want? And add that in slowly. Adding something to your routine is a great way to build healthy habits.

One thing I’ve added to my routine is meditation because it helps me settle my brain. When my thoughts start spiralling or I find myself scrolling depressing news feeds, I take a couple of minutes and clear my head. It makes me more productive and better able to handle the news coming at me. Sometimes I need a guided meditation if I can’t clear my thoughts by myself. And that’s okay.

If you don’t like your daily routine, figure out why and change it. You should find comfort in routine, not distress.

Make it fun and it will get done

My new watchword. If you can figure out a way to have fun doing something, it’s more likely to get done. I practice this a few times a week with my fitness routine. I make it fun and it will get done. Like running. To me, running is not fun. Granted, I’m more accepting now than I was a couple of years ago, because I’ve been doing it for a couple of years. But it’s still not fun. Running is hard and it’s not fun.

It’s not fun, so why do it?

So why do it? Because listening to a really good book while I’m doing it is fun. I’m on the second book of a really good fantasy trilogy now, and I actually found myself thinking on a usually non-running day whether I could get on the treadmill so I could listen some more. (I could have, but didn’t.)

The Fun Theory

In a post on The Resilience Centre’s blog, clinical psychologist Gabriel Wong advocates making things fun so they get done. The Fun Theory was initiated by Volkswagen a number of years ago, saying that people are more motivated to do things when they’re fun.

Examples like taking the stairs by making a flight of stairs like a piano keyboard, or promoting seat belt use by making entertainment available to passengers when the belt was fastened are popular examples. I particularly like the garbage can painted as “The World’s Deepest Bin” to promote throwing trash away. And the theory seems to work.

People took the piano stairs more than the regular stairs. Kids fastened their seat belts to watch the videos. And lots more trash was thrown in the “Deepest Bin” than a plain one next to it.

What about mundane tasks?

That’s great for odd, random things that you might want people to do. But what about normal, everyday stuff that has to get done. How can we make that fun? How can we get motivated to get all the mundane stuff done.

Confetti?

That’s where our Funtime Menu comes in. There are some things that are just not going to be fun. Like taxes. But online tax preparers figure out a way to gamify the process and give users a little shot of dopamine when they complete a section. You may get a green check mark and a celebratory confetti screen. We can do the same thing.

Put 15 minutes on a timer and work on a distasteful item on your never-ending To Do List. Just 15 minutes. Like cleaning out a closet. When the timer goes off and you hear that “Ding!” don’t you get a little rush? I do. Now you can do a little appetizer on your Funtime Menu. Dance to one of your favorite tunes. Go outside for a few minutes and enjoy some fresh air. Get a drink of water.

Make it fun and it will get done

You may think that 15 minutes is hardly any time. The closet will never get cleaned out in just 15 minutes. But you can make incredible things happen in just 15 minutes a day. And then when that closet is cleaned and organized, you can claim an entree from your Funtime Menu! Being able to check something off that list does wonders for our optimism. And when we’re happy, we’re more resilient. And when our spirit is strong and resilient, our bodies tend to be as well.

So, while I didn’t get to listen to more of my book on a non-running day, I know that I’ll be able to listen more in a couple of days. Remember to make it fun and it will get done. No matter what “it” is.

Why set goals?

At this point in our lives, we’ve probably reached the point where we know pretty much how our day will unfold. We all have routines. We like routine. There aren’t many people in the world who thrive on chaos. Of course, there are some, but the majority of people find comfort in knowing how their days will progress. If that’s the case, then, why set goals at all? If we’re happy in a rut, why not just stay in that rut? Do the same things day in and day out. I certainly love my own rut, but I’m constantly setting goals, wanting to improve, grow stronger, and share my message with more people.

Last week, my topic was about goals needing specificity to be achievable, and cited a study about goal-setting among seniors. The study found that most of us do, in fact, set goals of all sorts. Some are lifestyle goals, others are fitness goals, and others relate to social connections.

Why do we set goals?

An easy answer could be that, for those who don’t have pets or jobs, our goals are our reasons to get up in the morning. Goals give us purpose and optimism. I have dogs who make me get up in the morning. But I have goals involving my dogs, too. Goals help us be resilient. Because if we’re looking to the future, then we’re assured to have a future. And that goes hand-in-hand with healthy aging. In order to be there for our future, we need to be healthy. With no goals, we’re just sitting there and letting the world go by, not being a part of it. And, even worse, it won’t be status quo for us.

Use it or lose it

Unfortunately that old saying is true. If we don’t use what we’ve got then we run the risk of losing it. Our balance is a good example. It’s been shown that as we age, our balance deteriorates unles we actively work to maintain or improve it. That’s what the private Facebook group, Balance for Fitness Balance for Life is all about. Trying to help people improve their balance.

We should set goals for things that are important to us. We could set goals for anything we think of. For example, I could set the goal to learn how to make noodles. The problem with that, though, is that I already like lots of noodles that are easily available at reasonable prices. So I have absolutely no interest in achieving that particular goal.

On the other hand, I have set the goal to run twice a week for 20 minutes. Why? I want to stay fit and mobile, and independent.

Why set goals? Existentially speaking, setting goals are for happiness and independence.

Be specific, but not too specific

The first quarter of the year is mostly done. It’s true – time flies! Time to take stock, reassess and reimagine your future. The first step is to look at the goals you set for yourself at the end of last year. Are they still working for you? I’m kind of stuck. I set a pretty ambitious fitness goal of running at 7.5 mph at 2.5 percent incline for a full 2 minutes. I’m not there yet. I can do one minute and that’s about it. The rule is to be specific, but not too specific, with your goals. And I think that’s where I’m falling short.

The Goal-Setting Process

First off, we’re old. Why even bother with setting goals? According to a study that included people over 65 in English-speaking countries, goal-setting is quite common. The topics of goals that people set were wide-ranging – and included health and well-being, social connections and engagement, finances, activities and experiences, activities and experiences, home and lifestyle, and attitude toward life. Setting goals helps us to look to the future and remain optimistic. When we set goals, we’re increasing our optimism and resilience since we’re planning on sticking around to see those goals to fruition.

When I set my running goal, I thought about where I wanted to be in three months. I create quarterly goals because that length of time seems to be enough to get something done, but not so long that I feel I can push it off. You know that the human condition is sincerely prone to procrastination. Why do something today when you can do it tomorrow, right? But three months, or twelve weeks, is a good amount of time to achieve something meaningful but not so long that there’s time to waste.

I can already run 7.5 mph at 2.5 percent incline on the treadmill. It’s the endurance that I have problems with. I get tired. I get bored. The motivation just isn’t there. In addition, I’m distracted.

Check my own posts

I guess I need to get my head fixed to achieve this particular goal – read my own articles, maybe? Do more meditation and affirmations? I’ll get on that.

In the meantime, for the other goals that I’ve let slide, like keeping my desk clean by putting papers away every day. Perhaps I should reconsider the next part of goal-setting.

Be specific, but not too specific. This one seems to be a case of over-specificity. Things happen. Crises occur. Sudden projects can take over and cause chaos on my desk when I want things to be organized. So I’ll keep the goal of having a clean desk, but limit the filing to Friday afternoon. Every day is too much, but once a week should be about right. Time will tell. I’ll check back in three months.

Rewrite your brain

If you’re having trouble achieving your fitness goals, rewrite your brain

Perhaps you’ve experienced this. At the beginning of the year, or quarter, or whatever cycle you’re using, you’re all excited about your fitness goal. You know that you can hold a plank for a minute (you’re at 30 seconds now), but it’s just not happening. You consistently fail at 45 to 50 seconds. It’s easy to feel frustrated and discouraged with consistent unsuccessful sessions. What to do? Rewrite your brain!

Don’t accept subpar results

No, don’t ever accept results that aren’t up to your standard. But you can adjust your thinking to keep you going and even improve on your performance. Your brain is an incredible thing. It keeps you going, it remembers things for you. It helps you get the rest you need, or keeps you up at night. If you’re not happy with an aspect of your life, your brain can help you figure out how to change it. Your moods are set by your brain, and you have power over your moods. It’s funny that we’re naturally wired to believe the worst. We automatically believe that we can’t do something, that we should drop down from the plank. What were we thinking?

You can rewrite your brain

But the Journal of Neurochemistry has published articles that indicate that our brains are malleable. That our brains can adapt to different environments and conditions. But how can we rewrite our brains ourselves and make ourselves believe in the positive?

Rewriting our brain is not a one-and-done thing. Remember those piano lessons? I certainly do. I was not proficient at a piece on the first reading. Practice was the key. Hours and days of practice. Practice from the beginning, the middle and the end of the piece until eventually I knew it – literally – backwards and forwards. The same holds true with our brain.

Repetition is key

We’re not going to believe anything – even if it’s ourselves telling us so – the first time we hear it. Repetition is key. That’s where those affirmations come in. Now, the same holds true with our affirmations as with the goals we set. We have to tell ourselves things we can readily believe. We might shoot for pie-in-the-sky in the long run. But at first we have to stick to baby steps.

You know that you can hold that plank for a minute. You just have to really believe it, deep down. Tell those shaking arms that there are just a few more seconds. And your quivering core can stay tight for longer. Probably not the first time. Or the second. But by the fifth or sixth session, you’re able to rewrite your brain and hold that plank for 50 seconds – 55 – a minute!

Shiny object syndrome got you?

Shiny object syndrome has you procrastinating? Just start.

Tough day yesterday

Yesterday was a tough one. My younger dogs started brawling. My old one eliminated all over the house. Our stock was short. I couldn’t find a parking place within a block of a delivery I had to make. And I couldn’t find half the stuff on my shopping list. Funny how the smallest irritation just puts you over the top. We use the single-serve applesauce in our dogs’ food – I know, we could use a big jar and just spoon out what we need. But it’s a time-saving thing. The single-serve containers are more efficient in this case. Anyway, when I returned home and it was time to start my workout, the shiny object syndrome took hold. I kept looking at my newsfeed. At my dogs, waiting for them to start in again. Anything to put off starting. But, no. I told myself. Do it. Just start.

Put your mind to a task

So I did and got in a really good workout. Once you put your mind to a task, good things happen.

But if you’re floundering about, trying to figure out a good fitness program to do, shiny object syndrome kicks in and your scheduled workout time can come and go in a flash. If you’ve promised yourself on New Year’s that since you know you need to do it for your healthy aging, you would exercise four times a week at 10:30 in the morning for 35 minutes. But you may have already broken that resolution.

Be specific

Physical Therapist Erik Krol has three tips for setting fitness goals that are completely doable. First – be specific. In our example, the exercise wasn’t specified. It’s important to do your research and find a program that you can see yourself doing for weeks. I have a library of fitness videos that I rotate through. They allow me to get a good workout in and not invent a new program for myself.

But not too specific

Second tip for fitness goals – don’t be too specific. Have some flexibility for unexpected events. If my shopping took longer than usual yesterday, I have the flexibility of switching out a shorter workout.

Enjoy the process

And third, take it one step at a time. Don’t jump ahead of yourself and do exercises you’re not ready for. Accept that fitness is a journey that you’ll be on for life. Enjoy what you can of the ride, and celebrate every small accomplishment. If you’re just starting out and you’ve successfully walked a mile for the first time – that’s definitely worth a celebration. And on days when you feel the shiny object syndrome kicking in? Just start your workout. You’ll be glad you did.

Don’t let that shiny object syndrome rule your life. You’re stronger than your distractions. Just start.

My workout was so hard today

If you do the same exercises every week, you’ve probably experienced this. One day you breeze through your workout and the next time you do that workout it’s so hard! Why are are some days so much harder than others? It happens to me, especially on my running days. I do a run/walk workout a couple of times a week and some days it’s not exactly easy, but other days my workout was so hard!

I’m gasping on the hard days

On the hard days, it’s all I can do to get to the speed I want and then I’m practically gasping for air. (Okay, that might be a slight exaggeration.) But on those days I complain to anyone who will listen, “My workout was so hard today!”

I really like it much more when I push that up button for speed and inclination on the treadmill and just get back into the story that I’m listening to. I don’t have to think about every foot placement. And I’m not watching the time for when I can push it back down.

We know that exercise is crucial for our healthy aging. But why is it so much harder some days?

Several factors at play

So, why are some days of exercise so much harder than others? According to Houston Methodist on Health, there could be several factors. If your nutrition isn’t well-balanced, you could be feeling tired and weak. But if you consume the right combination of nutrients at the right time, you should be well-fueled and have enough energy for your workout.

Your recovery from your last workout could also play a role. If you’re not fully recovered, and if your muscles haven’t rested sufficiently, you could also feel sore and not able to perform at your highest level.

And if you’re not getting enough sleep, then you absolutely will not have the energy to fly through your workout. Your body needs sleep to regenerate. Coffee doesn’t do it.

Nutrition, recovery, sleep, but also mindset

Your mood can also play a factor. If you’re distracted, then you’re not focusing on your workout and it might seem harder. If you’re feeling depressed, then not even the most light-hearted audiobook will make your workout seem effortless.

So when you say, “My workout was so hard today” it might be for one or more of these reasons. As I’ve mentioned before, the keys to success in achieving any fitness goal are having the right nutrition, exercising wisely, and having a positive mindset. Work on those and your workouts will get easier.

Don’t minimize your celebrations

I’ve written about all the noise around us coming from so many sources. The national news here in the US is crazy. The winter weather won’t let up. It’s all too difficult to muster up the motivation to do anything toward any goal – big or little. But it’s important to keep going and don’t minimize your celebrations for any achievement.

This last weekend my Village was without water for days due to a major water main break. It started very early last Friday morning. Our usually exuberant water pressure was gone. And a boil order was put into place. This last may not seem like much, but think about it. We didn’t have bottled water. We depend on our tap water for all our water needs. My family thinks our tap water tastes good! And when I did venture out to the stores, bottled water was hard to find. Hard to wash, hard to brush teeth. And no showers, so no vigorous exercise. No laundry. I couldn’t do my regular cleaning chores. And we had to really think about our meal preparation.

If you're feeling anxious and stressed, meditation can help you focus on health and well-being.

There was no timetable for repairs and temperatures were forecast to plummet in a couple of days. It would have been really easy to let my mood plummet as well. But I knew that there was absolutely nothing we could do about the situation, so I turned off the screaming screens and organized a shelf in the linen closet. The next day I let myself listen to the audiobook I usually reserve for my runs while I did some needlework.

It was the perfect way to pass a quiet hour while not running water. It was a celebration of sorts – for not descending into a really bad, ugly mood. Instead of becoming angry with the world for the situation I found myself in, I took some time to enjoy two pastimes I love. I enjoyed a really good book and did some needlework. Every celebration increases our resilience and our optimism. That’s so good for our mental health and our healthy aging. Don’t minimize your celebrations. Especially now when we all need every bright spot we can find.