Not wanting to exercise is normal

It’s really not you – not wanting to exercise is normal.

It turns out that not wanting to exercise is normal. It turns out that as we get older, lots of systems in our body decline. You knew that – eyesight, hearing, cognition, memory. And we don’t want to exercise. That’s because of declining systems in our brain. Namely, our dopamine synthesis and dopamine receptors. That means that cognitive control, emotion and mood, motor function, positive reward, and motivation are also naturally declining. That means our natural enjoyment of life, our happiness and our motivation to exercise really does decrease as we get older.

It’s just not the same as before

So it is normal that we don’t feel like doing anything but mindlessly binge a series on Netflix. Or that we lack ambition to do anything but sit around. A recent article in Psychology Today notes that since our dopamine levels decline, we don’t get the satisfaction out of doing anything like we did in years past.

That’s depressing. I get that we all may not care that not wanting to exercise is normal, but how about the enjoyment that we get from other activities? I certainly want to experience the happiness of a good meal with friends or the enjoyment of reading a good book or listening to an amazing musical performance.

So how can we get back to feeling all these things?

First off, know that what helps one person feel things or become  motivated may not work for another. We all feel things differently – we’re not wired the same. 

Future to present – focus on the now

Find the joy in the little things if you prefer toexercise alone.

In looking at what made older people happy, one theory suggests that people’s motivation shifts from considering the future to being anchored in the present. And for motivation to exercise, older people are more likely to join a group to exercise rather than doing it alone. I guess I’m the weirdo here (preferring my solo exercise). So focusing on relationships can help you get fit as well as make you happy. Be with people you enjoy spending time with and encourage them to join you in exercise. It will help your body, your mind, your resilience and your healthy aging.

For those of us who prefer to go it alone, then continue to make exercise a habit. And find the joy in the little things – one more push-up. One more tenth of a mile. I listened to a great book while running.

We can boost our motivation to exercise

No wonder we don’t feel like exercising! We’ve been missing a vital piece of the puzzle.  You know how frustrated you get when you’re putting together a jigsaw puzzle and there’s a piece missing? Either you dropped it on the floor sometime or it was never in the box to start with. That’s what has been happening with our exercise. Here’s the missing piece to boost our motivation to exercise!

Add this to your motivation toolbox

Yes. Even after all these years, I need to (figuratively) give myself a kick in the behind to get up and exercise. I don’t enjoy it, I never have. But it’s a habit now, and you know if you ignore your good habits the thought just hangs over you like a cloud the rest of the day until you do it. Do you enjoy exercising? Didn’t think so. That’s why it’s so hard to get motivated. But what if you learned of a new element that, when you add it to your motivation toolbox, it fires you up and gets you moving?

It works with your step tracker

Many people already use a device to track their steps. I talked about this a few weeks ago – it’s fun to get that affirmation when you reach your step goal every day. And that’s great as far as it goes. 

Add mindfulness training to a step tracker to boost motivation to exercise.

We already know about the benefits of exercise. How it boosts our cognition, improves our strength, helps our sleep, and helps us to lose weight. Exercise helps us become more optimistic and resilient, and certainly encourages our healthy aging. But knowing about those benefits doesn’t get us to the gym or pushing “Play” on exercise videos at home. But the addition of a mindfulness app can help us go the rest of the way – beyond tracking our steps. When we’re aware of our body and how it moves, we’re more likely to add the strength elements and additional cardio conditioning we need. 

Add mindfulness training

According to a study published in the journal Mental Health and Physical Activity, researchers from the University of Bath discovered that the combination of step tracking with mindfulness training boosted participants’ motivation to continue exercising. And participants also exercised for a longer period of time every week that they used that combination.

So, I don’t know about you, but I’m going to search for a mindfulness app to install on my phone. It’s the missing piece to boost our motivation to exercise.

Quit the goals that don’t work for you

When is it okay to quit a goal? I’ve written a lot about setting and achieving goals. Fitness goals that can take you from winded walking down the street to running a 10K. Life goals that take you from a disorganized sad person to a Marie Kondo wannabe. But how about when you want to quit a goal? When is that okay?

Look back and assess

At the beginning of a calendar quarter or year I like to look back and then forward and try to decide on the things I want to achieve in the next few weeks or months. Those goals can be big ones, or little, some of each. When I achieve those goals, they should bring some kind of happiness and fulfillment to my life. 

If trying to achieve a full Side Plank Star makes you frustrated, rethink that goal.

But what happens if you’ve been working toward a goal that you set and it’s just not happening. Every time you think about doing that work, you get sad or find something else to do. You’re thinking about just not following through on that one. You’re thinking that you’re ready to quit a goal.

If a goal isn’t working for you

But, is that so horrible? If you find that a goal is no longer important to you, or if you’re just frustrated, then it ‘s time to rethink that goal. Ryan, from Point to Point Strength and Performance says, “Although quitting is usually associated with failure and a lack of grit and perseverance, it isn’t always a bad thing.” 

Look back, then, and determine if you’re getting closer to that goal. If you are, you may want to push just a little more and then reassess at the end of the week or quarter. You could just be at what Seth Godin, marketing expert and entrepreneur, calls “the dip.” If you’re closer than you were before and you believe that the goal is worth pursuing, keep at it. Your resilience is growing regardless. And if it’s a fitness goal, you’re reaching for that ultimate goal of healthy aging.

Our lives may not align with the goal

But elements of our lives change. What we thought would be important to us may no longer be important. Or training for the race just leaves us drained and weak. Time to reassess or even toss that goal. If you’re constantly frustrated when you’re working toward a goal, it could be that the goal wasn’t formulated well. Reassess. And be honest with yourself. Redo the worksheet in your Get It Done Guide. There’s no shame when you quit a goal, but make sure that it no longer matters to you.

It’s okay when you don’t know something

How to push on with your push-ups when you don’t know how

Let’s say you’ve set a fitness goal – like doing 10 regular push-ups in 6 weeks, and you currently can do 6 from your knees. That’s a great goal. It’s specific and probably achievable. You’ve set your intermediate goals, scheduled your workouts and got started. (If you’ve got visions of where you want to be but no idea of how to get there, download the Get It Done Guide for tips on setting your own goals!) Week 2 you can do 20 push-ups from your knees but can’t seem to progress to even one on your toes. What’s going wrong? How do you know when to ask for help? And realize that it’s okay when you don’t know something?

No shame in asking for help

There’s no shame in looking for additional help. When a goal is meaningful to you and you think that you’ve set all your benchmarks in place, but you feel like you’re swimming in place, it may be time to look for help. You can have all the motivation in the world – you really want to be strong enough to do those push-ups, but if it’s not happening and you’re getting frustrated, it’s time to seek outside answers.

Different ways to figure things out

It’s important to know, too, that asking for help or seeking outside answers is beneficial as well. When you shift your mindset from, “I’ve got to get this done!” to “I have to figure out a way to get this done!” then the challenges you face become opportunities and not roadblocks. When you learn about new ways of doing things, you enhance your own evolution. Continuing to learn will increase your resilience, and improve your outlook. What you saw as a failure previously, you can now see as additional motivation.

Pros have help all the time

None of us knows everything about anything. It’s okay when you don’t know something. And asking for help is a sign of strength. You’re smart enough to recognize that you don’t know something and humble enough to find the answers to your problem. And every professional athlete has a coach, a trainer, and other professionals helping them on their journey.

Intermediate push-ups steps

But back to our push-ups. From my own research, I learned some great ways to progress from knees to toes. They include push-ups on one knee, one straight leg. Also, doing push-ups leaning against a wall helps develop the upper body strength we need. And the plank exercise – from either the forearms or hands also increases our upper body strength. Remember to keep your core tight – always! – and your back straight. Don’t try to bend your elbows too much, either, especially at first!

Playing games to boost fitness

Every evening after work I play games – do puzzles, actually. There’s Sudoku, a picture cross game, and another painting game. Sometimes I fit in a game or two of Spider Solitaire as well. I love my puzzles. After lunch, I play a hidden object game. I tell myself it’s to exercise my focus away from the floaters in my eyes, but it’s really fun. I love my games. And the last few years, lots of people are playing games to boost fitness.

Tech to track fitness

Do you use an app that tells you how intense your workout was? Or do you follow an exercise program online? Some even use virtual reality to follow an exercise program. That’s definitely playing games to boost fitness. 

Do you wear a smart watch that tracks your steps during the day? Does it assess your sleep? You’re playing games to boost fitness. When your watch tells you that you’ve hit your goal for the day, how do you feel? Does your watch send you confetti and congratulations? There’s that hit of dopamine. It makes you want to pump your fist in the air and say, “Yes! I did it!” 

It gets you off the couch

“I’m always going to be a fan of anything that gets people moving,” says Laura Girard, CPT, a trainer and online fitness coach. If an app or a VR set gets people off the couch and exercising, it’s a really good thing. Some of the newer virtual reality technology even has the capability of assessing your form as you perform the exercises or go through the active game. That’s certainly more affordable than hiring a personal trainer, if you’ve already got the VR set.

Alternatively, playing active video games can also get your heart rate up while you’re fighting bad guys. Anything that gets you moving is good – even if it’s playing a fantasy role-playing game. Maybe especially if it’s a fantasy role-playing game!

Provides accountability and motivation

Move to get more energy!

The tracker you wear also provides the accountability and motivation that you need to progress toward your fitness goals. Your watch may give you sound or display notifications, and Lauren Cook, PsyD, a clinical psychologist says, “I think a lot of people are more active because they want to get that dopamine kick of seeing that they closed their rings or hit a step goal.”

But at least one field experiment found that, while the tech provides immediate gratification and keeps us accountable in the moment, it doesn’t provide lasting habit-forming effects.

Tech is not the answer for everyone

And tech may not be the answer for everyone to boost fitness and create long-lasting habits for our healthy aging. People can stress over too much tech or obsess over the data it provides. But tracking our goals and our progress is still incredibly important. But no matter how you’re tracking your progress, be intentional about the goals you track. Don’t try to track everything. And if you’re wary of the tech, the pen-and-paper route is still valuable. The Basic Workout Tracker is a great start. And for some it may be even better. It’s the route that I take. I actually did add a pedometer app to my phone, but I hardly ever have my phone on me, so it’s not much use. When you have your goals written in your own handwriting on a piece of paper, you could be even  more likely to achieve them. You’ll still get that dopamine zing when you’re able to check something off on your page.

So games and tech are certainly fun, but playing games to boost fitness is the smart way to use today’s tech for our healthy aging.

Best exercises for healthy aging

I think about healthy aging quite a bit because I write about it. But I don’t think people my age should think about it. I think my peers should be actively doing everything they can for their healthy aging instead. The first thing many people think about  relating to fitness is exercise, so here are the best exercises for healthy aging, according to many experts.

Strength

Strength work exercises are great for our healthy aging.

At our age, we have to focus on strength. When we’re strong, we can do things like get out of a chair without assistance, or climb stairs. When we’re moving against resistance, whether that’s our own body weight, free weights, or even resistance bands, that’s making us stronger. Strength training improves muscle mass, bone density and circulation. And the current recommendation is to do strength training twice a week to promote healthy aging.

Endurance

The dreaded aerobics. When we improve our endurance, we can walk for longer periods of time, making those walking tours a distinct possibility when we’re on vacation. Hikes with family and friends at home are also on the table. We exercise our heart and lungs when we work on our endurance, so we won’t get out of breath getting to the store from a far space in a parking lot. Cardio work also can be great to maintain healthy blood sugar levels and blood pressure. 

Mobility

During the day I can feel myself stiffen up if I don’t move around. Flexibility or mobility work helps us maintain or improve our range of motion. I can tie my shoes. I can reach a spot on my back that has an itch (mostly). A good way to get mobility work in is to incorporate it into our warm-up or cool-down from our strength or endurance work. Don’t skimp on flexibility, but it’s important not to overdo it, either. Incorporate movements that feel good to you.

Balance

Improving balance can help reduce falls. This one is really important to me, and balance exercises are certainly some of the best exercises for healthy aging. I suffered a fall a number of years ago which led me to promoting balance exercises. Here’s a nasty statistic: falls account for three quarters of deaths in people over 75 in the US. Don’t be a statistic. Download Your Week of Core-Centered Balance Moves and join the private Facebook group Balance for Fitness Balance for Life. A variety of balance exercises are highlighted, none of which take more than 2 minutes a day or require changing into gym clothes.

Cognition

Exercise your brain. Like every other body part, your brain needs work to keep it stimulated and operating at peak efficiency. We know that when we exercise our body, our brain benefits. A variety of brain exercises also help keep us engaged. And it’s not just Sudoku puzzles or crosswords that help. Jigsaw puzzles, arts and crafts, and other puzzles help.

One more thing helps keep us fit and engaged – interacting with others. So get moving and stay healthy.

Find comfort in routine

Everyone seems to be stressed these days. Yes, it seems like I write that every other week. But the times are turbulent and it’s hard to know what will be coming at us next. The weather is crazy, the political climate is even crazier, and then the economy is in turmoil. It’s one blow after another. My head is spinning. If you’re like me, know that you can find comfort in routine.

Routines can improve your health

Northwestern Medicine says, “By providing structure and organization, routines can improve your health in various ways.” Routine can help you manage stress, which is beneficial for our mental health. When you know something will be stable, it puts your mind at ease and boost your resilience.

Experts recommend routines for bedtime and sleep. By having a bedtime routine and getting quality sleep, our mental sharpness improves, as does our emotional well-being and energy. When I get my full seven hours, I do feel much more aware, and have more energy.

Healthy eating can be routine

Northwestern’s experts also recommend a healthy eating routine. Preparing menus and shopping at a set time every week ensures that you’re considering your nutrition. Most weeks I shop on Monday afternoons, which is not when the store’s stocks are freshest, but it’s convenient for me. There’s still plenty of great-looking fresh produce to choose.

There’s even comfort in an exercise routine

And, of course, the experts advocate an exercise routine. Staying active, as we know, is essential for our healthy aging. And, as I’ve recommended as well, scheduling your exercise helps you maintain that routine.

But don’t get too set in your ways

But we don’t want to stagnate, either. I’ve talked about goal-setting the last few weeks. We want our routines, but it’s also necessary to grow. So, think about what you want out of life. What’s missing that you want? And add that in slowly. Adding something to your routine is a great way to build healthy habits.

One thing I’ve added to my routine is meditation because it helps me settle my brain. When my thoughts start spiralling or I find myself scrolling depressing news feeds, I take a couple of minutes and clear my head. It makes me more productive and better able to handle the news coming at me. Sometimes I need a guided meditation if I can’t clear my thoughts by myself. And that’s okay. 

If you don’t like your daily routine, figure out why and change it. You should find comfort in routine, not distress.

Make it fun and it will get done

My new watchword. If you can figure out a way to have fun doing something, it’s more likely to get done. I practice this a few times a week with my fitness routine. I make it fun and it will get done. Like running. To me, running is not fun. Granted, I’m more accepting now than I was a couple of years ago, because I’ve been doing it for a couple of years. But it’s still not fun. Running is hard and it’s not fun. 

It’s not fun, so why do it?

So why do it? Because listening to a really good book while I’m doing it is fun. I’m on the second book of a really good fantasy trilogy now, and I actually found myself thinking on a usually non-running day whether I could get on the treadmill so I could listen some more. (I could have, but didn’t.)

The Fun Theory

In a post on The Resilience Centre’s blog, clinical psychologist Gabriel Wong advocates making things fun so they get done. The Fun Theory was initiated by Volkswagen a number of years ago, saying that people are more motivated to do things when they’re fun. 

Examples like taking the stairs by making a flight of stairs like a piano keyboard, or promoting seat belt use by making entertainment available to passengers when the belt was fastened are popular examples. I particularly like the garbage can painted as “The World’s Deepest Bin” to promote throwing trash away. And the theory seems to work.

People took the piano stairs more than the regular stairs. Kids fastened their seat belts to watch the videos. And lots more trash was thrown in the “Deepest Bin” than a plain one next to it.

What about mundane tasks?

That’s great for odd, random things that you might want people to do. But what about normal, everyday stuff that has to get done. How can we make that fun? How can we get motivated to get all the mundane stuff done.

Confetti?

That’s where our Funtime Menu comes in. There are some things that are just not going to be fun. Like taxes. But online tax preparers figure out a way to gamify the process and give users a little shot of dopamine when they complete a section. You may get a green check mark and a celebratory confetti screen. We can do the same thing. 

Put 15 minutes on a timer and work on a distasteful item on your never-ending To Do List. Just 15 minutes. Like cleaning out a closet. When the timer goes off and you hear that “Ding!” don’t you get a little rush? I do. Now you can do a little appetizer on your Funtime Menu. Dance to one of your favorite tunes. Go outside for a few minutes and enjoy some fresh air. Get a drink of water. 

Make it fun and it will get done

You may think that 15 minutes is hardly any time. The closet will never get cleaned out in just 15 minutes. But you can make incredible things happen in just 15 minutes a day. And then when that closet is cleaned and organized, you can claim an entree from your Funtime Menu! Being able to check something off that list does wonders for our optimism. And when we’re happy, we’re more resilient. And when our spirit is strong and resilient, our bodies tend to be as well.

So, while I didn’t get to listen to more of my book on a non-running day, I know that I’ll be able to listen more in a couple of days. Remember to make it fun and it will get done. No matter what “it” is.

Why set goals?

At this point in our lives, we’ve probably reached the point where we know pretty much how our day will unfold. We all have routines. We like routine. There aren’t many people in the world who thrive on chaos. Of course, there are some, but the majority of people find comfort in knowing how their days will progress. If that’s the case, then, why set goals at all? If we’re happy in a rut, why not just stay in that rut? Do the same things day in and day out. I certainly love my own rut, but I’m constantly setting goals, wanting to improve, grow stronger, and share my message with more people.

Last week, my topic was about goals needing specificity to be achievable, and cited a study about goal-setting among seniors. The study found that most of us do, in fact, set goals of all sorts. Some are lifestyle goals, others are fitness goals, and others relate to social connections.

Why do we set goals?

An easy answer could be that, for those who don’t have pets or jobs, our goals are our reasons to get up in the morning. Goals give us purpose and optimism. I have dogs who make me get up in the morning. But I have goals involving my dogs, too. Goals help us be resilient. Because if we’re looking to the future, then we’re assured to have a future. And that goes hand-in-hand with healthy aging. In order to be there for our future, we need to be healthy. With no goals, we’re just sitting there and letting the world go by, not being a part of it. And, even worse, it won’t be status quo for us.

Use it or lose it

Unfortunately that old saying is true. If we don’t use what we’ve got then we run the risk of losing it. Our balance is a good example. It’s been shown that as we age, our balance deteriorates unles we actively work to maintain or improve it. That’s what the private Facebook group, Balance for Fitness Balance for Life is all about. Trying to help people improve their balance. 

We should set goals for things that are important to us. We could set goals for anything we think of. For example, I could set the goal to learn how to make noodles. The problem with that, though, is that I already like lots of noodles that are easily available at reasonable prices. So I have absolutely no interest in achieving that particular goal.

On the other hand, I have set the goal to run twice a week for 20 minutes. Why? I want to stay fit and mobile, and independent. 

Why set goals? Existentially speaking, setting goals are for happiness and independence.

Be specific, but not too specific

The first quarter of the year is mostly done. It’s true – time flies! Time to take stock, reassess and reimagine your future. The first step is to look at the goals you set for yourself at the end of last year. Are they still working for you? I’m kind of stuck. I set a pretty ambitious fitness goal of running at 7.5 mph at 2.5 percent incline for a full 2 minutes. I’m not there yet. I can do one minute and that’s about it. The rule is to be specific, but not too specific, with your goals. And I think that’s where I’m falling short.

The Goal-Setting Process

First off, we’re old. Why even bother with setting goals? According to a study that included people over 65 in English-speaking countries, goal-setting is quite common. The topics of goals that people set were wide-ranging – and included health and well-being, social connections and engagement, finances, activities and experiences, activities and experiences, home and lifestyle, and attitude toward life. Setting goals helps us to look to the future and remain optimistic. When we set goals, we’re increasing our optimism and resilience since we’re planning on sticking around to see those goals to fruition.

When I set my running goal, I thought about where I wanted to be in three months. I create quarterly goals because that length of time seems to be enough to get something done, but not so long that I feel I can push it off. You know that the human condition is sincerely prone to procrastination. Why do something today when you can do it tomorrow, right? But three months, or twelve weeks, is a good amount of time to achieve something meaningful but not so long that there’s time to waste.

I can already run 7.5 mph at 2.5 percent incline on the treadmill. It’s the endurance that I have problems with. I get tired. I get bored. The motivation just isn’t there. In addition, I’m distracted.

Check my own posts

I guess I need to get my head fixed to achieve this particular goal – read my own articles, maybe? Do more meditation and affirmations? I’ll get on that.

In the meantime, for the other goals that I’ve let slide, like keeping my desk clean by putting papers away every day. Perhaps I should reconsider the next part of goal-setting.

Be specific, but not too specific. This one seems to be a case of over-specificity. Things happen. Crises occur. Sudden projects can take over and cause chaos on my desk when I want things to be organized. So I’ll keep the goal of having a clean desk, but limit the filing to Friday afternoon. Every day is too much, but once a week should be about right. Time will tell. I’ll check back in three months.