Five ways to maintain positivity

I often write about happiness and optimism, because happy and optimistic people are generally healthier and live longer than those who are unhappy or see the negative in everything. But even when you start the day with a positive outlook, sometimes it can be hard to maintain that optimistic mindset. Here are five ways to maintain positivity.

When the sun is shining it’s easier to be positive and optimistic. Everything looks better when it’s bright outside. But how about when it’s nighttime, or it’s gray and gloomy outside? How can you maintain positivity then?

#1 on the list of How to Maintain Positivity: Smile!
#1 on the list of How to Maintain Positivity: Smile! After a workout, I have a big smile on my face.
  1. Smile. That’s it. Just take a breath and show some teeth. Even if you don’t feel like smiling. When we smile, our brain releases the hormones dopamine and serotonin, associated with happiness and reducing stress. Believe it or not, a study performed by a group at the University of Cardiff at Wales found that people who could not frown due to botox injections were happier on average than those who could frown. So, that’s the “fake it until it comes true” path.
  2. Journal your gratitude or express it in some other way. Say, “Thank you” to more people for even the smallest of favors. There is no place for unhappiness in you when you’re feeling grateful to others. Even having others in your life is something to be happy about.
  3. Take a walk. Increase your oxygen intake. When you breathe more deeply, your body is doing something positive. If you exercise regularly, that “exercise high” you feel lasts longer, plus you’re sleeping better.
  4. Listen to a favorite tune. I keep a playlist of songs that make me feel happy. Listening to one usually does the trick when I’m feeling down. Almost anything by the Zac Brown Band puts a smile on my face and gets my toes tapping.
  5. Meditate. Thinking of absolutely nothing for a few minutes helps me maintain positivity. Just breathe. If that’s hard for you, a short guided meditation will also help clear the cobwebs and help you maintain your positivity. If you’d like to try meditating but don’t know where to start, download the Garden Walk Guided Meditation.

These days, it’s important to grab happiness and optimism wherever you can. Practicing one or more of these techniques will help you maintain your positivity.

Do a deep dive to settle your brain

Turn your brain off by using more of it. Do a deep dive to settle your brain.
Turn your brain off by using more of it. Do a deep dive to settle your brain.

It may seem counterintuitive, but one of the best ways to stop your brain from going in a zillion directions is to hunker down with a difficult project. You know the times when you’re thinking about all the things on your to-do list that you haven’t done, and about your sick dog, and about the war overseas, and about the pandemic, and about when you’re going to have the time to go to the store… When your brain says, “Enough! Or I’m going to explode!” So, to stop your brain from exploding, that’s the time to dive into a complex project, one that requires all your mental powers. Turn your brain off by using more of it.

The harder the project the less you’ll be distracted

It may not make sense at first thought, but, really, it makes perfect sense. The more you have to think about the task you’re performing, the less you’re thinking about other things. And you’ll be distracted less by random thoughts. A paper published a few years ago in the Association for Psychological Science journal studied complexity and distraction. It described how subjects were more likely to finish a complex task on a computer when flashing letters appeared on the screen than an easier task.
I’ve described my process to truly focus on a task, and it goes right along with this study. If you have a task that needs doing but you’re finding it difficult to focus, first decide what you want to get done. Then break it down into manageable chunks so it doesn’t seem overwhelming. Turn off your phone and remove any other distractions you can. Now take a deep breath and clear your mind. And then do it. If you’re finding it hard to concentrate, pick a more complex task to accomplish. You’ll need all your concentration and won’t have the opportunity to be distracted.

Or, if you’re too tired and just don’t have the energy, go to bed. You need more sleep (like most adults). Make any notes about your project off the top of your head. That way they’re not churning along with everything else in your mind. Turn your screens off. And attack that project when you’re fresh and energized tomorrow.

Figure this out before you work out

So you’ve been told you should exercise. It’s not just me who’s telling you that… It’s the Mayo Clinic – did you know that you’ll sleep better if you exercise? And Harvard Medical School – did you know that exercise can help prevent cancer? And yet so many people tend to avoid exercise. It’s easy to not exercise if, for example, your parents were not especially active. And it’s easy to keep on watching TV or reading when a show or book is engrossing. So, what will get you out of the chair? Before you work out, you have to figure out your motivator.

Figure out your motivator

In order to keep on exercising – because exercise is not a “one and done” thing – you have to have a really good reason to keep coming back to it. You’re not going to keep on exercising several days a week if you hadn’t been exercising before, unless you have a particularly strong reason to do it. Because, let’s face it, exercise is not the most fun thing on the planet.

I hate to exercise

A great workout eliminates stress.
I do not like getting sweaty… And yet…

I’ve said it before, I do not like to exercise. Not one little bit. And yet, I’m on my exercise mat or on the treadmill 4 or 5 days every single week. Even after all the years that I’ve been exercising, I despise it. The best part of exercising to me is when I’m done for the day. I do not like getting sweaty and out of breath. And the promise of fighting off cancer or getting better sleep are not good enough reasons to work out. So why do I do it?

My 3 big reasons

  1. I get to eat what I like
  2. I’ll be in shape to run my dog in agility
  3. I’ll be more able to face life’s challenges. I’m a big scaredy-cat. I figure if I have the discipline to do what I don’t like to do, I’ll be better able to face anything life throws at me.

What will make you lace up those sneakers day after day?

Those are my reasons. Everyone does different things for different reasons. The prospect of 7 or 8 uninterrupted hours of sleep might very well be your big motivator.

Or playing with the grandkids in the backyard. Or even having a backyard with a beautiful garden is your reason. Last week’s article was about how gardening can relieve stress. But in order to have a garden you have to do the work. Are you able to dig your garden, to kneel down and get those weeds? Perhaps you’ve figured out your motivator and that garden is it.

The key to getting the benefits of exercise is consistency. You have to keep on exercising to get anything out of it. So, you have to think about what will make you lace up your sneakers and get on that exercise mat. You have to figure out your motivator that will keep you working out six months from now, a year from now, for your best life.

Choose happiness

I choose happiness almost every day. I say almost because, sometimes, reality is too much to bear. Some days the crushing weight of all the bad news in the world combined with bad news closer to home make ear-to-ear grinning happiness impossible.

Day-to-day irritations don’t matter

But most days I can let the day-to-day irritations fade into the background and choose to be happy. Yes, the dog ate something in the yard that didn’t agree with him – all over the rug. And gas went up another dime a gallon. And we had to deal with another unhappy customer wondering why the supply chain issues affected her order.

But those things aren’t enough to make me choose anything other than happiness. 

Think of your happiness as a muscle

Happiness is like a muscle. Use it or lose it. Now, I don’t mean the chocolate cake type of happiness. I mean the deep-down, central to my soul kind of happiness. Yes, chocolate cake will make my taste buds very happy while I’m eating it, but a half hour later it’s a memory. But the happiness I feel when I think of my family, my dogs, my health, the little plants starting to grow outside – that doesn’t go away.

You’re probably laughing to yourself, thinking, “This Fran is a nut. I can’t choose happiness like I would choose a pair of shoes!”

To which I say, “Why not?”

Take responsibility for your own happiness

Deepak Chopra, one of the leading voices in well-being, says that we should take responsibility for our own happiness. It is in our power to be happy. If we leave it to others to make us happy, we can never be happy if we’re alone. That is unacceptable to me. I’m an introvert and I like being by myself much of the time. I like to be happy, so I choose happiness for myself.

I choose happiness.
Work your happiness!

I’ve written about how that happiness comes about in the past. And many times it’s not simply, “OK. I’m happy now.” Sometimes that works, but not very often. What usually does work for me is just closing my eyes and thinking about all the great stuff I have now in my life. I disregard the not-great stuff, because some of that will always be there and there’s not a whole lot I can do about it. 

Or I put on my workout clothes and move. Exercise is a great mood-lifter. After exercise I always feel better than I did before. I not only feel happier but I feel less stressed. And after a shower I feel better still.

If you’re feeling blue, you can do something about it. Choose happiness.

Friends can help us navigate tough times

Sometimes watching the news or scrolling through our social media feeds it seems like we’re alone. Bad news everywhere, rising prices, rising interest rates, long lines, supply shortages (still!) It’s easy to get frightened, anxious and stressed and keep ruminating about all the bad things that might happen. That’s the moment you take a deep breath and call your best friend! Our friends can help us deal with the stress as well as lift us up and make us feel better. We know that friends can help us through tough workouts, but friends can help us navigate tough times too.

Friends lift us up

Our best friends lift us up by being near, and friends can help us navigate tough times.
Our best friends lift us up just by being near.

We all have a friend, or if we’re lucky more than one, friend who lights up a room and just makes us feel better by being near. That’s the friend to count on when we’re thinking those dark thoughts. That friend lifts us up emotionally just by being herself. And spending more time with that friend can help us get healthier too.

Dr. Vanessa Chang at Aurora Behavior Health Center says that friends can help us live longer. It’s been shown that people with strong relationships tend to be healthier than people without those relationships. 

Friends help us deal with stress

Friends help us deal with stress. Turning to best friends during tough times can make it easier to cope with life’s knuckleballs. “Knowing people we can count on during difficult times can lessen the burden and even make some events seem not stressful at all,” says Dr. Chang.

And having a friend we can count on can also help keep our mind sharp. A study found that lonely people are 40% more likely to develop dementia than those with solid friendships.

Time to reconnect

So, now is the time to reconnect with friends. During the pandemic you may have grown apart from friends, but now is the time to get back in touch. And despite how in-depth some conversations may seem on social media, the people you’ve “friended” on Facebook may not be the ones who will stick by you through thick and thin. If you still don’t feel comfortable meeting in person with friends, Zoom is still a great way to meet “face to face” without masks. And a free account gives you 45 minutes of uninterrupted chatting. I still “get together” with a few good friends every week over Zoom. Friends can help us navigate tough times, and these days we need all the friends we can get.

Coping with anxiety in the real world

Like it or not, these are anxious times. We’re all dealing with anxiety. From millennials to Gen-Xers to us Baby Boomers. We all have to develop our own ways of coping with anxiety in the real world – our world. Your world is different than mine, so you have to find your own way of coping with your stress and anxiety.

Techniques for coping with anxiety

But, there are techniques that we can all use to cope with our separate anxieties. 

Experts tell us to be more mindful and that will help us cope with stress. But, what does that really mean?

Be mindful

Coping with anxiety in the real world means being mindful of the things around you.
Be mindful of the things around you.

Being mindful to me is to pay attention to the things around me. Inside – to my work, my family, my dogs. And outside – to traffic and sounds, of course, but also to the trees, the birds, the people walking.

Experts will tell you about meditation, breathing exercises and other techniques as they relate to mindfulness. But, for me, if I just take a breath, and try to remember all the joy in my own life, the anxieties of the real world kind of fade. They don’t go away altogether, which is OK – after all, we do live in the real world so it has to have a presence in my life – but the stress is manageable. I’ve also talked about how exercise helps me conquer my anxiety.

What can I really do

If I’m stressing about the situation in Ukraine, then taking a moment to focus on what’s really going around me will make me realize that I can’t stop the Russian forces on my own. That moment allows me to take a step back and focus on the steps I can actually take to help the Ukrainian people.

Coping with anxiety in my real world

If I’m stressing about something closer to home, then taking that moment lets me focus on the steps I can take to solve the problem. And if I can’t solve the problem myself, that moment lets me figure out who to ask to help me.

If you’re anxious and stressed, and if you can’t tune out the world for a moment, definitely try those techniques the experts recommend. But try to just … be … for a little while.

Use your fitness routine to conquer your anxiety

I spent much of Wednesday driving to and from various errands. Driving itself is not fun these days, what with the price of gas and having more people on the streets with the better weather. I had the NewsRadio station on in between stops because there wasn’t enough time to become engrossed in a podcast or audiobook. And the news is not good. Anywhere. Rising prices, escalating war, politicians increasing the nasty factor. My anxiety certainly rose yesterday afternoon with all of that. When you’re feeling more anxious, how do you deal with it? My answer: use your fitness routine to conquer your anxiety.

Calming techniques and beyond

I’ve written about various calming techniques for stress and anxiety, and exercise has always been one method. But, let’s go a little deeper into what exactly happens when you use your fitness routine to conquer your anxiety.

Increasing my endorphins with aerobic exercise. I use my fitness routine to conquer anxiety.

Exercise, especially aerobic exercise, increases your endorphins. I am always in a better mood after my workout, and my family thanks me for that! (These days, with my anxiety soaring, if I don’t exercise I can be particularly moody and snappish.) You don’t have to run to get that “runner’s high.” 

Exercise as a stress-reliever

Experts at the Mayo Clinic also promote exercise as a stress-reliever: “Regular exercise can increase self-confidence, improve your mood, help you relax, and lower symptoms of mild depression and anxiety. Exercise can also improve your sleep, which is often disrupted by stress, depression and anxiety.” Exercise can not only ease your current stress but give you a feeling of command over your body and your life. Note that It’s not a “one-and-done” thing for exercise. “Regular exercise” is key. Those experts at the Mayo agree that any form of movement will do you good – by increasing your fitness level while decreasing your stress level. But they also agree that scheduling your workouts help. I wrote about the importance of making “dates” with yourself a while ago.

Simulating “fight or flight”

When you feel stress, you may feel that “fight or flight” syndrome occurring in your own body. Exercise simulates that effect. If you’re walking or running, that’s the “flight” part. If you’re doing strength training, that simulates the “fight” part by putting your muscles under tension.

Walking meditation

Many people walk for their exercise and that’s great. Walking alone is a good form of physical exercise, but combining walking with meditation can really lower your stress. Of course, that doesn’t mean that you close your eyes and chant while you’re walking. Just be mindful of what’s happening with your body as well as being aware of your surroundings. “Practicing walking meditation regularly can help one be more connected to their body and surroundings while simultaneously making them happier and healthier,” said Dr. Jennifer Dragonette, Executive Director at Newport Institute.

You can be less stressed and anxious, if you use your fitness routine to conquer your anxiety.

Modify anything to reach your goals

You know I’m a fan of goal-setting. And I’m also a fan of setting big goals. So, chances are those goals I set will not be achievable with the equipment I have right now. If I want to do a full push-up but just don’t have the arm strength, I’ll work at it until I can do it. I’ll start on my knees or on my toes and leaning on a low table. The key is to modify anything to reach your goals.

A modification for anything

If I want to do a side plank with leg left, I'll modify it to start on a knee.
Modifying the Side Plank star means beginning on a knee.

As I’ve said before, there’s a modification for everything. That modification may not be immediately apparent, but it’s there. If you want to come along with me and try that full push-up, starting out leaning on a low table may help you to increase your arm strength more than starting on your knees. Once you’re successful with push-ups using that coffee table, you can “graduate” to an ottoman. And then to a stool – going lower and lower. Eventually you’ll be ready to do a full push-up on the floor. And if I want to do a Side Plank Star but don’t have the arm strength now, I’ll start on a knee.

If you’ve set your goal for 10 push-ups, don’t give up after 2. If you’ve reached the floor but your arms give out after 2, don’t give up. Get that stool and finish your set. You’re still building your arm strength on the stool. By the way – even one push-up on the floor is amazing. Time to celebrate! Rewards are an essential part of goal-setting. Make sure that your reward is fitting – save the big reward for doing 10. Now, perhaps, a 15-minute break is appropo. 

After doing the modified exercise, I've built up enough arm strength to do a full Side Plank Star.
After doing the modified exercise, I’ve built up enough arm strength for the full Side Plank Star.

For non-exercise goals

The same step-by-step system works for other, non-exercise, goals. If you want to lose weight – say, 30 pounds, you’re not going to lose all 30 at once. And even thinking about losing 30 pounds is a daunting prospect. But 5 pounds is achievable.

Modify your goal

So, the key to reaching that lofty goal of 30 pounds is to break it up. Modify your big goal to set intermediate goals. And reward yourself every step of the way!

Strength training for your health

You’ve decided to start a fitness program! Yay! You know that physical activity is vital for healthy aging – experts at the Centers for Disease Control recommend at least 150 minutes of moderate-intensity aerobic activity a week (less if you’re doing high intensity and more for lower intensity activity). You may have decided on walking as a first step in your fitness program. But the experts also recommend 2 days a week of strength training. But what, exactly, does strength training for your health entail?

No fancy equipment needed

I’ve said before that as we get older, we lose stuff. Our eyesight, our hearing, our hair, our balance, and, unfortunately, muscle mass and bone density. Strength training won’t do anything for our eyesight or our hearing, but it can help with our muscles and our bones.

Before you say, but I don’t belong to a gym and I’m not buying weights, know that you don’t need fancy equipment to do strength training for your health. Your body weight is a built-in exercise equipment miracle. You can work practically any muscle group with your own body weight. 

Body-weight exercises

Push-ups are great to work just about any part of your body. Modifications are good too.
Push-ups (with or without shoes) are great for just about every part of your body.

Holding the plank position works your arms, your legs, and your entire core. Even if you modify the position so that you’re on your knees, you’re still getting lots of benefits. And if you move into a push-up, you’re really accelerating those benefits. Again, a push-up from your knees is beneficial. Or, try supporting yourself with your hands on a sturdy coffee table. Altering your starting position will work different muscles. There’s always a modification if you can’t do the full position like plank, or the more advanced plank balance.

Sit ups or crunches will really work your core. If you don’t like the traditional crunch, there are plenty of other core exercises that don’t use equipment.

If you want to invest just a little

But if you want to invest a little, a resistance band is a great way to start. If you get one that looks like a big rubber band, try putting it around your shins and doing side-steps, making sure that you’re stretching your band as you step. Or around your thighs while you’re lying on your side and doing the clam-shell exercise. For your arms, hold the band and stretch your arms out laterally to work your shoulders. Try sitting and placing the band under your foot, holding the other end. Place your elbow on your thigh and raise your hand – you’re working your biceps!

No matter how you choose to start, working on strength training for your health will help you live a richer and more active life. Be conscious of your form while you’re performing the exercises. Make sure to keep your core tight at all times to keep your back healthy.

Strength training for your health is good at any age

“Regardless of your age, weightlifting allows the muscles to grow and become stronger,” said Michael Reinke, an Advocate Aurora Health athletic trainer. “Weightlifting also improves bone density and improves heart health, all while decreasing the risk of injury during activity.” Body weight strength training is the easiest way to start. Try strength training for your health! It’s easy and beneficial.

Why start a fitness program?

Last week I was completely winded after a practice agility run with my dog. I was huffing and puffing and thought to myself, “If I want to do more of this (which I do), then I’ve got to figure out a way to build my endurance and stamina.”

Do you huff and puff on the stairs?

Now, you may not want to run agility with your dog. But you may want to get fit for any number of other reasons. Do you have to pause on the stairs? Or do you look for a parking spot closer to a store’s entrance? You may wish you were in better shape, but thought it was impossible to succeed because your metabolism just isn’t what it used to be. So to start a fitness program would be futile.

The truth about your metabolism, even after “a certain age”

According to Dr. Nick Pryomski of the Advocate Aurora group, that’s nonsense. Your metabolism is the same as it always was. But you may find it more difficult to find the motivation to get out of your chair and do something about it. Dr. Pryomski says, “Metabolism doesn’t necessarily slow as you age. It only does if you are less active.” Likewise, “slender people don’t necessarily have a higher metabolism than larger people.” That’s good news for most of us.

So, it is scientifically possible to get fit at any age. But you may be completely overwhelmed by the prospect of losing weight or starting an exercise program. 

Make your reason a no-brainer

Why start a fitness program? I started a running program for my dog.
Why start a fitness program? I started for my dog…

The secret? Be really honest with yourself. Know why you want to get in shape. If your reason is just to look good or age gracefully, that’s probably not good enough. But, if you want to be able to play with the grandkids as much as they want to? If you want to go for walks in the park (when the weather improves), or travel and be able to see the sights you’ve always wanted to see, then you’ve got a pretty good reason to start a new healthy aging program. 

I certainly would not be pushing myself on the treadmill, up to 6 miles per hour so far, so that I have a prayer of directing my off-leash dog on an agility course, if I didn’t want to succeed in the sport. 

Start small

The way to start your new program is small. Make small changes to your routine. Like walking for 2 minutes after breakfast. Get used to those little changes first before you make bigger changes. Then you can start to determine the bigger changes you need to make. 

If you want to start a new eating plan with the goal of losing weight, same thing: start making small changes. Perhaps cut down on your starch and dessert portions. Don’t eliminate them – you know that I’m a believer in not depriving yourself! – just make those portions smaller for now.

Small goals lead to big results

No matter if you’re starting an exercise or an eating program, set goals for yourself. (See “Set goals – big and little.”) First set short-term goals – something for the next two weeks or a month, perhaps. Those goals should be doable but challenging. For example, if you start with walking 2 minutes a day, work up to a half hour in the next 2 weeks. Or lose 4 pounds in the next 4. And when you reach those goals, be sure to reward yourself with something that’s meaningful to you. Download that book you’ve wanted to read.

If you need an accountability partner to keep you “honest,” enlist a friend. I started out by scheduling my workouts on my calendar – my “date” with myself. You may find a step tracker a useful tool for motivation.

The key is to never give up. If your reason to get healthy is important enough, you’ll find the motivation and the tools to help you.