Fran's Fitness Over 50

How is your anger level?

Angry with the world?

How is your anger level? Are you easy to anger? When things don’t go right, do you get angry with your partner? The dog? The world? Do you lash out? Say things you don’t mean? Read on for ways to deal with it now.

While it’s frustrating when the outcome you were hoping for doesn’t happen, or when someone does things you take exception to, anger may be harming you more than the thing you were angry about by making you ill. And your anger may cause irreparable rifts in relationships. If you say something to a person you care about in the heat of the moment, you’ll probably regret it later.

How to deal with feelings of anger

Rather than have to apologize later, here are some ways to deal with your feelings of anger now.

The pause that refreshes. Rather than lash out and say something (or worse, punch something) immediately, take a breath and think. Let someone else take the lead and decompress the situation. Or give the individual who’s fermenting your anger an opportunity to think about his or her statement and realize that it may have been inappropriate.
Use “I” instead of “you.” If you do address the individual, use statements beginning with “I.” If you start by saying, “I’m upset by your statement,” or “I’m frustrated when …” and give your reasons rationally this may have a much better outcome than if you say, “You’re an idiot for saying something so stupid!” Likewise, avoid absolute words like “never” and “always.” Like, “You never …” or “I always have to …”
Resolve, don’t instigate. If there’s a problem and you see a solution that will make sense, offer it. Don’t just point out the problem and expect others to resolve it to your satisfaction. Take charge and you may get the result you want.
Be like Elsa. Let anger and frustration go. You may not forget, but be sure to forgive. Life’s too short to hold onto resentment, anger and frustration. You’ll be happier and more at peace.
Move. Be sure to exercise. Exercise is definitely the best stress-reliever. It doesn’t matter what form your exercise takes, but be sure you do it. After a good workout, you may be more likely to be calmer and solutions may present themselves.
Relax. Take time for you. If you’re rushing all the time, your brain can’t settle itself and figure out what it needs. Just a few minutes a day may be all you need to get your positivity back.

Take a breath

So, even if you see something, hear something or think of something that makes you feel your anger rising, just take a few seconds. Just a few. Think about your reaction. Take a breath. If you still feel angry, think about what you’re going to say that won’t escalate the situation and may, in fact, lead to a resolution.

Here’s the opposite of anger: Happiness!

I’m taking Nike’s slogan

Everyone recognizes Nike’s trademarked slogan, “Just do it!” But it has real meaning for me.

Lots of things I DON’T want to do

There are many things none of us wants to do on any given day. But in order to live with ourselves, we recognize that we just have to buckle down and “do it.” I don’t want to get up, but I have to take the dogs out or I’ll have a wet bed. So I do it. I don’t want to tackle the mess on my desk, but I have to or I won’t be able to find anything. So I’ll do it. I don’t want to face the crowds at the fruit market this afternoon in a mask, but we need stuff so I’ll just do it.

Cook?

I don’t want to actually cook meals, but they’re so much better, healthier and more affordable than anything out of a box or delivered, so I’ll do it. I made a dynamite soup on Saturday with sweet potatoes, chicken and swiss chard (that I should have taken pictures of ) that warmed us up on a raw, miserable day. And it was worth it.

So I remember those things as I stare at the piles on my desk as I write this. Now where’s that receipt from …

Working out

The same applies to working out.

I don’t like to work out. But I do it.

It’s become a habit.

Samuel Johnson, the famous 18th century literary figure said, “The chains of habit are too weak to be felt until they are too strong to be broken.”

What does that mean?

We do something and do the same thing, and do it over and over again. That thing becomes a habit. And then when we decide to not do it, it’s practically impossible. Not doing that thing creates a hole in ourselves that we are compelled to fill with that thing. Not doing it will leave you with the feeling that something is missing for the rest of the day.

It takes conscious effort to break a habit. And it’s not easy. It may be easier to develop a habit than to break one. (Not that you’d want to break the habit of exercising.)

So, exercising is a habit. It’s just something I do. Every Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday and Saturday. It doesn’t matter what I do during my workout. I just do it on those days. Even if I just have 20 minutes to devote to my workout. I make those the best 20 minutes of exercise that I can. But I do it.

Here are 4 ways that exercise can become a habit: https://fitness-over-50.com/2017/05/4-things-to-make-exercise-a-habit/

Focus on what you’re doing

I hate running. But if I focus on my form, I get the maximum benefit in the least amount of time.

I’ve said it before – I don’t like to work out. I hate exercising. I hate getting out of breath and sweaty. I hate running. I hate working my joints when they don’t want to get worked.

But I do it.

The benefits

I do it because of the benefits I know I’m receiving from exercise. Exercise helps my aging brain hold onto memories, as well as learn new stuff. Exercise helps my bones and muscles stay strong. Exercise helps my endurance. Exercise helps me sleep better.

So I do it. But I don’t have to like it.

Maximize my focus, minimize my time

So when I exercise, I want to make sure that I’m maximizing my time and not work any longer than I have to. So I focus on what I’m doing to make sure that I’m really targeting what I’m supposed to be targeting.

Years ago, when I went to a health club to exercise I saw women (it was an all-women health club) lift one-pound weights with no attention to form. I saw women mosey on the treadmill while looking at their phones. And I saw women in group classes just going through the motions.

Time to kill? Not me!

I wondered about those women. They must have had so much time on their hands, they could afford to be at the health club for hours at a time and burn fewer calories than I did in my half hour or 40 minutes. (How rude were those women – not giving their all to that instructor? She was giving her all to them! The least they could do was reciprocate.) But I had to get back to work! I was on a deadline! I had to put my time in on the stair machine or treadmill or rowing machine or free weights, clean up and get back to work.

And now – I work out at home and I still hate it. But I give my all. If I’m going to devote that much time to something I dislike doing, I’m going to do it well and not feel guilty about it. Going through the motions doesn’t do anyone any good. I’m exercising for a reason so I’ll do it right!

The secret to success

The secret is to just pay attention. Focus on what you’re doing. If you can’t do a move properly, modify that move to give you maximum benefit now and help you get stronger or more flexible so you are able to do that move the right way at some point in the future. Get the maximum benefit from every exercise you do. From your warmup through the workout to your cool-down.

Sharpen your focus

Everyone exercises for different reasons. Sure, some of them may be similar – like staying fit, losing weight, strengthening muscles. But exercise also helps you in other ways: it helps your brain.

Exercise equals food for the brain

Your focus will improve after you exercise.

As we age, it seems like everything deteriorates. It’s the old “use it or lose it” adage. If we don’t exercise, our muscles become weak and may even atrophy. If we don’t do weight-bearing exercises, our bones become brittle and may break.

Exercise provides oxygen for the brain, but even more, exercise helps our brain in other ways.

A recent study of athletes’ brains showed that they were better at ignoring distracting background noise and better at focusing on the sounds that really mattered to them. The study tested athletes and other participants by attaching electrodes to their scalps and studying the electricity their brains produced when different sounds were introduced.

Dr. Kate Essad, Lead of Sports Neurology, Director of Concussion Management at Aurora Health Center in Milwaukee, says that “by doing activities like sports, which require habituation of reaction time and integrating many different sensory systems, your brain can function faster and it can perform tasks faster – and probably better.”

“Most neurological conditions, migraine, dementia – all of them are benefitted by regular exercise because the brain requires fresh blood flow and cardiovascular conditioning,” she says. “And all of these conditions are reduced by stimulating your brain. It’s the most important thing for dementia and cognitive decline – things people get when they age.”

Take a focus break

So, if you’re sitting at your desk and have been working away for a couple of hours and your mind starts to wander – you’re losing focus – take a break. Get up and walk for ten minutes. When you get back and start work again, chances are you’ll be able to concentrate better and be much more productive.

Dr. Essad also points out that there are other ways to help your brain too, like reading and writing, learning a new language, or playing a musical instrument.

Everyday things to help your brain

And everyday there are things we can do to make sure our brains age as well as the rest of us:

Get plenty of exercise, practice mindfulness or meditation and make healthy food choices.

Read about how I clear my mind so that it’s able to focus on important stuff.

Life happens. It’s not an excuse.

Life happens. Don't let that be an excuse.

So, you’re in a rhythm. Working out four or five times a week, exactly on schedule. You’re eating right most of the time. Keeping your food journal and watching those calories. You’re getting plenty of sleep and meditating from time to time to keep the stress at bay.

And then things are scheduled three days in a row and you don’t exercise. Or the dog got sick and you had to rush him to the vet after work when you usually work out. Or you had to stop at the grocery store and the lines were a mile long.

Your living partner brings in a treat that’s too delectable to pass up. Or he / she made a dish that they were so proud of that you absolutely could not turn down.

You listened to the news or read an article that kept your brain working all night long. Two hours of sleep.

You fell off the wagon

Life happens. It’s not an excuse.

It happens to everyone. You’re not special. You’re not immune from life.

So what? You didn’t exercise for three days in a row. You ate a few extra calories. you can’t un-eat them – there’s no going back in time. Or you lost some sleep. No big deal.

Don’t make that an excuse

Life happens. Get back on the wagon. Get back to your regularly scheduled routine.

Don’t make not exercising or eating a few extra calories an excuse to stay off the wagon.

I’ve heard it too often: What’s the use? If I work out today, it won’t make up for the days I lost.

That doesn’t matter. If you wait another couple of days, you’ll be sore in the following days, your energy will be low, you’ll have trouble completing the workout.

You are an exerciser! You’ve built up that habit over months. Don’t spoil that now. Don’t change that habit. You just had an interruption. Get back on that treadmill. Or stick that DVD in the player. Change into your workout gear.

And those extra calories? They don’t matter now. Devote your energy to making healthy choices today.

Read another post about motivation.

Sometimes it’s just hard

No matter the motivation, the inspiration, sometimes it’s just hard to get up the get-up-and-go to work out. Like yesterday for me. I know all the reasons to exercise. I write about them, for goodness’ sake.

But sometimes even all that knowledge just isn’t good enough to inspire me to exercise.

I know the benefits

I knew that once I started and felt everything start to tingle with the warm-up, the workout would be over before I knew it.

I also knew that when the workout was over and the final stretch and cool-down began, all those endorphins would be racing through my body and I’d feel fantastic. And that shower when I was done would feel better than great.

And I knew that I’d sleep better if I worked out. And that I would be in a better mood. And that my blood pressure would go down, I’d be able to concentrate and focus better, and that I would have even more energy after my workout. (For more benefits of exercise, read https://fitness-over-50.com/2015/09/why-exercise/)

Not enough

But that did not convince me to change into my workout gear and exercise. The dogs were not helping, they were being cute so I didn’t want to stop playing with them.

What did make me change and start my workout?

Pasta with bolognese sauce.

It was hard finding motivation. The spaghetti motivated me to work out.

My favorite. I’m a pasta-holic. I love pasta, especially my mom’s “spaghetti.” When we were growing up, mom would make spaghetti every month or so and it was always my sister’s and my favorite. Only when we were adults we learned that it was really pasta with bolognese sauce – a hifalutin’ word if ever there was one. Pasta – didn’t matter the shape – in a rich, tomato-ey sauce with caramelized onions and ground beef.

And it was for dinner. There was no way I wanted to feel guilty about consuming loads of calories of my favorite dish, and I certainly was not going to skimp on the portion size. We don’t have it that often any more.

No guilt

So I changed and worked out.

And, yes, the warmup felt good. It was an intense and sweaty workout. The stretch and cool-down felt better. The shower afterward was absolutely divine.

Best of all – no guilt. And I ate all my pasta.

Everything in moderation

Everything - yes, even red velvet cake - is OK in moderation.

It’s been another tough week in a series of tough weeks. And you’ve been (mostly) good about your diet.

And then, out of nowhere, you have an incredible craving for red velvet cake.

It’s OK

Try to resist if you can. Take a walk. Drink a glass of water. Do some gardening. Read a chapter in the book you have on your night table.

But if you’re still craving that cake, have a little bit. It’s OK. That little bit won’t hurt you.

In fact, you’ll probably have fewer calories if you have a little bit of exactly what you want rather than a substitute. If you have a little cookie to try to satisfy your craving, chances are you won’t have just one cookie, you’ll have ten. And those ten will have more calories than the small piece of cake you would have had. And it won’t taste as good.

Have that small piece of cake. Don’t deprive yourself. My watchword is, “Everything in moderation.” Don’t go overboard, but don’t cut yourself off from the small pleasures.

I’ve talked about it before – even a little bit of chocolate really is OK: https://fitness-over-50.com/2018/07/chocolate-and-a-healthy-lifestyle/

Watch every bite

If, as I have, you’ve struggled with your weight for your whole life, you know the importance of paying attention to every morsel that passes your lips – every taste, every single square of yummy dark chocolate, every forkful of deep-dish Chicago style pizza, every spoonful of ice cream.

So when we have an irresistible craving, we watch that going into our mouths as well. And feel absolutely no guilt. Because we plan for it.

If I’m going to have that chocolate, I give up something else. Or I do a more intense workout. Or I run a few more minutes on the treadmill. Because I still have to pay attention to the calorie limit I set for myself.

If the worst happens

But, if you can’t resist that craving and you go completely overboard – you can’t stop eating that cake, that pizza, that chocolate, that ice cream – and you think to yourself, “Well, that’s done it. Why stop now. I’ve eaten almost everything in sight, might as well finish it up. I’ve completely forgotten that diet. I’ll never lose weight” –

Hang in there!

One day is not going to ruin everything. You may have a little ground to make up, but all is really not lost. Get back on the straight and narrow. You’ll be fine.

Where’s my motivation?

A few months ago, after the initial shock of the lockdown, many of us were inspired to begin exercising at home. We couldn’t go to gyms, so we worked out in our living rooms or basements, or started walking or running outside.

But as the weeks went on, as the saying goes, we’re just “not that into it” anymore.

Where’s my motivation? Where did it go?

We may have lost that initial glow, that feeling of, “Hey! Look at me! I’m actually exercising and I even lost a few pounds.”

But then things started to go back to semi-normal. Gyms started opening up, but it wasn’t the same. There were occupancy limits. Masks were required in many cases. It was hard. We may have gone back a few times, but it was hard.

And then cases started rising and things locked down again.

And your motivation up and went. The starting and stopping, starting and stopping – do I go to the gym? do I go for a run? Or, do I sit on the couch.

Different motivations

Starting a new behavior requires much different motivation than keeping that behavior going.

At first we were inspired to do something that was actually good for us while we were cooped up at home. We were told that we should exercise – it would be good for us.

But then we were able to do other things, outside our homes. Meet friends at restaurants – outside, perhaps, but still a social gathering. Or go shopping. And so our motivation to exercise went by the wayside.

It’s much more difficult to sustain motivation for a behavior that we may not be that invested in to start with. We need more than “we should do this” to keep it going.

Make it easy

If you’re serious about wanting to exercise – and I’ve written before about the many reasons TO exercise, make it easy on yourself. Make it easy to be an exerciser.

Have your workout gear handy. Whether you work out at home or actually go to a gym – have a drawer, or part of a drawer, specifically for clothes you use to work out in.
Do something you like, or don’t mind so much. Whether it’s running, walking, lifting weights, dancing, yoga – figure out what you won’t mind doing for 30 – 40 minutes a few times a week and
SCHEDULE it. Yes – write it down in your calendar. It helps to make it the same time on the days that you exercise – you will get used to exercising at that time. Whether it’s 7:00 in the morning, 3:30 in the afternoon or 10:00 at night. Make an appointment with yourself. Every day. Write it down. Make it a repeating appointment in your Google calendar.
If you feel like running one day and lifting weights the next – perfectly OK. Don’t lock yourself into a particular style of exercise. Cross-training is good for you.

Get your motivation back. Be an exerciser, not just someone who sometimes exercises. Your body – and your mind – will thank you.

Anxious and stressed?

4 ways to deal with stress

Many people are feeling anxious and stressed these days. In fact, everyone I’ve talked to lately is feeling it. The effect of long-term stress on our bodies can actually be harmful. Long-term stress can negatively impact our blood pressure, heart rate, sleep and even our eating habits. (See my article about both long-and short-term stress.)

We naturally try to avoid stress, but when we’re feeling overwhelmed by things that are outside of our control, we feel even more sensitive to outside factors.

There are some ways to deal with this stress, though.

Calm the stress energy

Engage in mindfulness techniques to divert your attention away from the anxiety. Try meditation or do an exercise session. This will help to reduce your anxiety in the short run, but it won’t go away.

Pay attention to your thoughts

This technique engages mindfulness techniques as well. But, rather than engage in these techniques after you feel stress and anxiety, try to recognize your thoughts going in that direction before they lead you on that hamster wheel.

Take some control

One reason that you’re feeling elevated stress is that you feel that there is nothing you can do. This leads to feelings of helplessness, and increased stress and anxiety.

A way to alleviate those feelings of helplessness is to find some small thing that doesn’t take a lot of thought or energy, and cross it off your to-do list. You won’t mess it up since it doesn’t require a great deal of effort, but just the act of crossing something off your list can ease some of your stress.

Take positive steps

Here’s where it gets a little tougher. You know how good it felt to knock something off your to-do list? It will feel even better to take steps toward a bigger goal.

When you’re dealing with anxiety, your avoidance motivation kicks in. Thoughts are racing around in your head, and you want to do anything you can to avoid those thoughts. And when you’re in this thought pattern, you’ll see all the flaws and problems that there could be in this course of action. So it can be difficult to take any action with those thoughts running around in your head.

But when you actually do start putting some energy toward that goal you can start to see the outcome you want. This is hard, though, because you have to overcome those churning thoughts in your head. Once you do you’ll start to become happier and you can start to anticipate that positive outcome.

Creaky on rainy days?

3 ways to ease your aching joints

Even without arthritis (thank goodness), I’m noticing that I get creakier on rainy, damp days than I used to. If I’m sitting for even a half hour and get up, my knees and hips let me know that they exist and are not happy with the current state of affairs. Even my shoulders are stiffer. The first couple of shuffling steps involve gradual straightening and shoulder-rolling. A hand to the lower back is also sometimes required to straighten up. The next couple of steps are better, and before I’m halfway across the room everything is back to normal. All this is probably normal, but it still gives me a knock on the head that I’m getting older.

Now, before you suggest moving to the desert where it’s hot and dry, there are things we can do to keep our aging selves limber.

Stay hydrated

I know it sounds weird – recommending water to alleviate stiffness. But, a paper from the T.H. Chan School of Public Health at Harvard says that drinking enough water each day is crucial to regulate body temperature, keep joints lubricated, prevent infections, deliver nutrients to cells, and keep organs functioning properly. Being well-hydrated also improves sleep quality, cognition, and mood. So, drinking water keeps us moving in more ways than one!

Get up!

You know Newton’s First Law? A body at rest stays at rest. And atrophies. It’s a good idea to get up and move around periodically to keep the lubricants in our joints swirling around. If you tend to get involved in activities and lose track of time, set a timer for every hour to remind you to get up and move around.

Stretch

Another great way to feel less joint stiffness is to do some stretching. Stretching increases joint flexibility and can reduce stiffness. Another benefit is that some stretching exercises will also increase your balance and coordination, preventing falls.