happiness Archives - Page 6 of 6 - Fran's Fitness Over 50

You – be nice to you!

Eliminate negative self-talk

No more negative self-talk! — No more negative self-talk

Do you avoid looking in the mirror? Are you critical of your appearance? Your abilities (or, as you see them, lack of abilities)? Do you tell yourself that you’re not good for anything? Are you uncomfortable receiving compliments? Stop it! You – be nice to yourself! Eliminate that negative self-talk!

Effects of prolonged negative self-talk

Negative self-talk is not just a bad idea, it can have a severe effect on your health. “Having a negative outlook on life can lead to decreased motivation, increased stress, and greater feelings of helplessness,” says Dr. Rhiannon Jauer, psychologist from Aurora Behavioral Health Center. “Prolonged negative self-talk can increase one’s risk of mental health problems, physical health issues, as well as sleeplessness.”

Dr. Jauer encourages us to reconfigure our brains, to avoid rousing stress that can result in a damaging impact on our bodies. First of all, recognize the negative thoughts you’re having about yourself. By recognizing it, you’re on your way to changing it. But recognizing and identifying that negative self-talk is uncomfortable, because you may start out believing it. It seems real to you, and true, and therefore difficult to change.

A couple of easy ways to eliminate negative self-talk

But, pretend that you’re talking to a friend when you hear yourself saying those awful things. You’d encourage your friend, tell her that those negative things are not true. So, the same thing holds for yourself. That top looks great on you. Well, perhaps your hair does need a style, but it’s a good length for you. You work wonders with a spreadsheet. Will you come and organize my kitchen cabinets?

See – wasn’t that easy? “For some reason, we humans seem to save our worst words for ourselves, and that isn’t going to help” with eliminating negative self-talk and boosting our optimism, Dr. Kevin Gilliland, PsyD, executive director of Innovation360, said.

Acknowledge your negative self-talk. Recognize that you’re putting yourself down. And then consciously decide that it’s not true. Dismiss that thought. Send it away.

Replace that thought with a positive one. “Well, I may not like my hair style, but at least I’ve got a lot of it.” Or, “my files are totally disorganized but no one creates a better spreadsheet than I do.”

Practice daily

In order to eliminate that negative self-talk and have a lasting effect, practice being kind to yourself every day. Just like any other habit that you want to cultivate, being kind to yourself requires practice. Use a journal to remind yourself, perhaps, and reward your successes! I’ve written about maintaining positivity before, and in your daily self-kindness practice you should utilize these techniques.

Make contributions to your “Amazing Box”

And every time you turn that negative self-talk around, make an entry to your Amazing Box. I talked about this concept a few weeks ago. It might be one of the most important tools in your toolkit of positivity techniques. It’s an instant motivator when you feel down. Whenever you recognize a negative thought about yourself and can’t immediately think of something positive, read an entry in your Amazing Box. Instant pick-me-up. You’ll be on your way to positivity, optimism, and happiness.

So next time you have a negative thought about yourself, I’m talking to you: “You! Be nice to you!”

Choose happiness

I choose happiness almost every day. I say almost because, sometimes, reality is too much to bear. Some days the crushing weight of all the bad news in the world combined with bad news closer to home make ear-to-ear grinning happiness impossible.

Day-to-day irritations don’t matter

But most days I can let the day-to-day irritations fade into the background and choose to be happy. Yes, the dog ate something in the yard that didn’t agree with him – all over the rug. And gas went up another dime a gallon. And we had to deal with another unhappy customer wondering why the supply chain issues affected her order.

But those things aren’t enough to make me choose anything other than happiness.

Think of your happiness as a muscle

Happiness is like a muscle. Use it or lose it. Now, I don’t mean the chocolate cake type of happiness. I mean the deep-down, central to my soul kind of happiness. Yes, chocolate cake will make my taste buds very happy while I’m eating it, but a half hour later it’s a memory. But the happiness I feel when I think of my family, my dogs, my health, the little plants starting to grow outside – that doesn’t go away.

You’re probably laughing to yourself, thinking, “This Fran is a nut. I can’t choose happiness like I would choose a pair of shoes!”

To which I say, “Why not?”

Take responsibility for your own happiness

Deepak Chopra, one of the leading voices in well-being, says that we should take responsibility for our own happiness. It is in our power to be happy. If we leave it to others to make us happy, we can never be happy if we’re alone. That is unacceptable to me. I’m an introvert and I like being by myself much of the time. I like to be happy, so I choose happiness for myself.

I choose happiness. — Work your happiness!

I’ve written about how that happiness comes about in the past. And many times it’s not simply, “OK. I’m happy now.” Sometimes that works, but not very often. What usually does work for me is just closing my eyes and thinking about all the great stuff I have now in my life. I disregard the not-great stuff, because some of that will always be there and there’s not a whole lot I can do about it.

Or I put on my workout clothes and move. Exercise is a great mood-lifter. After exercise I always feel better than I did before. I not only feel happier but I feel less stressed. And after a shower I feel better still.

If you’re feeling blue, you can do something about it. Choose happiness.

Food, family and gratitude

Next week is Thanksgiving here in the US. It’s one of my favorite holidays of the year, because it’s all about food, family, and gratitude.

Finally in person

Food, family and gratitude all lead to greater optimism and resilience. — Family gives me the warm fuzzies.

During the pandemic isolation we’ve tried to keep in touch with loved ones, but there’s nothing like seeing the people we love in person. After a long 18 months, my sister and I were able to get together with cousins last month for a wonderful afternoon. Being able to give a vaccinated-safe hug was probably the best feeling I’ve had in a long while. A cousin flew into town from the East coast and she probably won’t be able to make it for Thanksgiving, so that October afternoon get-together was our Thanksgiving.

We shared laughter and recipes. And we commiserated with our cousin’s little boy who got sick from too many sweets (given by his doting Grandma in the morning). We talked about old family stories, and shared some new ones. It was a relatively small gathering, but my sister and I were overjoyed to be with any family.

Warm, fuzzy feelings

The food was great, but that afternoon its importance was diminished by the warm feeling of being surrounded by family. We don’t live very close to family any more – the closest is an hour or more from us. So the opportunity to get together in person on a Sunday afternoon was not to be missed.

Both my sister and I were unspeakably happy to see family. And we were grateful to be able to do so safely. We definitely had warm fuzzy feelings that day. And remembering that sunny afternoon continues to bring happiness and gratitude.

Gratitude => Happiness => Optimism => Resilience

And when we’re happy and grateful for what we have, optimism naturally follows. When we’re optimistic, we look to the future rather than the past. And being able to look optimistically to the future builds our resilience. With resilience comes motivation to meet our goals.

With food, family and gratitude, we can accomplish anything.

Feeling happy today

Why do I feel happy?

I’m feeling happy today and I don’t really know why. There’s still a pandemic. The economy (no matter what anyone says) is really not doing very well. I spent most of the day working on a grant application and then the submission host crashed…

But, I put my favorite station on Pandora and I’ve been bouncing in my seat all day.

The sun is shining. The air is a little cooler and more clear. I had a (pretty) good night’s sleep. My back doesn’t hurt and I put in 4 good workouts this week. I was able to watch some of a live stream from one of my favorite places on earth and watched a dolphin paint a wine glass. I might have to save my pennies to bid on that during the auction!

Optimism rocks!

I’m feeling optimistic as a result. Our grant will be accepted. It won’t be 90 degrees again this year. They’ll find and approve an effective vaccine and figure out a way to manufacture and distribute it safely to everyone who wants it expeditiously.

The moral there is – get happy. Grow your optimism. Find ways to make yourself happy. Pessimism paralyzes. When you’re feeling down about everything it’s much more difficult to get up the energy to accomplish even the most necessary tasks. Connect with friends. Seek out things that are guaranteed to make you happy – at least, happier.

Results of happiness

When you’re happy, you’re more productive. You relate better to others. You’re kinder. You sleep better. For me, when I’m happy and optimistic, I snap at others less. I’m able to plan. I look forward, and don’t dwell on the past. I’m less likely to eat junk. I’ll sleep better and wake more refreshed. Smiling uses fewer muscles – I won’t get lines around my mouth. And all that dancing in place has surely burned a few calories!

Do what makes you happy

At least once a day, do what makes you happy. Do something that will put a smile on your face.

Yes, these are hard times. We’re physically isolated from others, but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t be happy.

Happiness increases optimism. Optimism increases resilience. Only with resilience will we be able to survive this bleak period in our existence. With resilience we’ll be able to undertake new challenges. We’ll be able to resume pastimes that we can’t enjoy now. We’ll be able to go to restaurants, to movie theaters, to parks, to the mall.

So, how can we embrace happiness? For one thing, turn off the news. Take a break from social media.

Have a virtual conversation with a friend. We all have wonderful devices with built-in ways to make this happen. Even just call a friend on the phone. To hear a friend’s voice can be joyous.

Watch a favorite video. Or, go on a virtual tour of a museum or art gallery. There are plenty of those.

Catch a live stream from a facility that’s closed now. Lots of zoos are offering live streams. There’s a “Donate” button on many, but it’s not mandatory. On the other hand, if you can afford it, those facilities could use your donations. They’re not getting the admission fees or concession sales now that they were used to. A reduced staff has to be there, to care for the animals, but there are no actual visitors.

My favorite is the daily live stream from Dolphin Research Center on Facebook. Every day at noon my time (1 pm Eastern Time), they’ll go live with a session with dolphins or sea lions. It’s guaranteed to put a smile on my face.

Or, as I’ve said before, put on some favorite music and start to dance. There’s no one to watch you, so get crazy. You’ll enjoy the music, get some moves on and be happier.

So, for just a little while every day, do something that makes you happy.

Get happier!

Are you stuck in a dark rut?

All too often we find ourselves doing the same things – day after day. Repeating the same tasks and not finding happiness in them. If we don’t have happiness and joy in our lives, we have no motivation to maintain a healthy lifestyle. When we’re not happy, our fitness suffers.

Can we dig ourselves out?

So, how can we lift ourselves up and find the joy again? Even when we are doing the same things day after day, we can be happy!

Permission for happiness!

The first step is to tell ourselves that we can be happy. The mere act of giving ourselves permission sometimes makes it true. Try writing down the three biggest factors that made you the person you like today. They could be life-changing moments, like a big presentation or a job change. Keep that list prominent so that you can look at it every day and remember that you’re a person to be proud of!

Change the scenery

Another method is to change the scenery. I’m not talking about a tropical vacation (although that would be nice). Go for a walk. Change your route to work. Sometimes just looking at something different changes your perspective to a more positive one.

Re-energize!

Take a nap. Have a healthy snack. Refuel and re-energize! When your stomach is full of good stuff and you’ve had a good night’s sleep, you feel more positive.

Acknowledge the downsides

Be aware of the negative aspects of a task. That will motivate you to take action and turn those negatives into positives. Your brain will be more nimble trying to turn things around.

Get another opinion

Talk to someone. Things may not be as bleak as they seem to you. Sometimes we’re too close to a situation to look at it objectively. And don’t always consult someone who has the same beliefs as you do. They may see what you consider bleak situations the same way.

Stress can be good!

Channel your stress into a positive outcome. If you’re anxious about something, try to determine the real reason for the anxiety so that you can take action. Taking action is a positive step and leads to a brighter outlook.

So the next time you feel yourself going to that deep, dark place, try these tips and aim for the sunshine!

Happiness

I’ve sort of been in a funk lately. My brain is spinning. A friend is hurting. We’re moving our business. My dogs have forgotten every bit of training they ever had. And I hurt my back. Time to try something new? First I have to decide what would make me happy.

What is happiness? A feeling of uplifting. A smiling feeling. When you can’t help but turn the corners of your mouth up. The anticipation you feel when you know you’ll see someone you love. Or you’ll be doing something you enjoy. Remembering something wonderful. A trip you took when you had so much fun! A gorgeous sunrise in the Florida Keys. Being with a friend. Eating a fantastic meal.

I’m trying to enjoy the small things every day. A particularly good tomato. A crunchy pea pod. The sunshine without much humidity. Cooler temperatures. The Cubs winning their Division.

So, I have to plan something fun! When to plan this for? After our moving date, of course, and after my back is feeling all better. I’ve weaned myself off of the heating pad and pain relievers, but there is still that occasional twinge. And I’m counting on the dogs to atleast remember how to sit!