For whatever you’ve been up to. If you’ve accomplished anything – anything at all – it’s time to congratulate yourself!
So often we get caught up in life, in the everyday things, in the endless list of chores and errands, that we forget to stop for a moment, look back and say, “I did a good job!” But it needs to be done.
I did it! Full plank with bird dog balance!
Isolation
The better part of the last year, we’ve each been quite isolated and without a great deal of personal contact with others. It’s easy to wrap ourselves in that cocoon to protect ourselves and continue as we’ve been going. The coronavirus pandemic has been so widespread and so deadly that it’s become almost second nature to fear outside contact. So we hibernate at home. Working and visiting friends remotely, through a little screen. No hugs, no handshakes, no high fives. And no dressing up to meet friends for dinner. No church or any other place of worship. No classes for the kids or for us. I train my dogs at home, in the basement. Not because there are any trials that I would feel safe entering, but because the dogs don’t understand that we can’t go to training class and still need both the exercising and the interaction with us.
So we’ve been at home, working, learning, cooking, entertaining ourselves, ordering from online sources, doing jigsaw puzzles, binging Netflix, organizing closets.
If you broke through – accomplished anything – Yay!
And if you did any of that – if you learned a new skill, started a new hobby, learned to cook new dishes or cleaned out a closet – Yay! Good for you! Congratulations! Well done!
You’ve tried to make the most of a very difficult situation. You didn’t feel sorry for yourself, but actually did something positive. No matter how big or small, just the fact that you thought about something other than the depressing world we live in is a positive step toward growing your resiliency! And for that, you should feel wonderful. That’s one certain way that you’ll come out of this better than you were before.
I’ve been writing about optimism quite a bit lately. Perhaps because the times we live in are so stressful, I feel the need to try to rise above the stress and bring others along with me. It’s natural to have down days as well as optimistic ones. And of course, things can happen throughout the day even if you start out optimistic to cause you to sit back and reflect, and possibly feel down. But that’s the easy route. Be bold – be optimistic.
One chance
The fact is, we only get one go-round in this life (that we know of). So I figure we might as well make the most of it. I’ve got enough wrinkles from my 65 years of living, I don’t have to manufacture more with frowning. When I feel down and recognize it, I try to bring myself out of the doldrums any way I can. Of course, sometimes I don’t recognize my bad moods and depressed thoughts, and it goes to others (mainly my sister) to figuratively slap me upside the head and take a look at myself and listen to what’s coming out of my mouth. Because when I’m feeling stressed, anxious and in a bad mood, I have the unfortunate tendency to take my bad mood out on others. Again, mainly my sister. For that, I sincerely apologize.
Smiles ahead
So how do you make a frown turn upside-down? Easy. Step one: just smile. Many times your thoughts go where your expression is. So if you’re feeling gloomy, put a huge smile on your face. Exaggerate it. Show lots of teeth. For five seconds. Not feeling so grouchy anymore, are you?
Move it
A great way to feel more optimistic is to move your body. This doesn’t have to be a full-fledged workout, although that is certain to do the trick, but if you get up and move to your favorite music, say, after a couple of tunes you’ll be on your way to optimism.
Exercise reduces bad moods and depression. That “exercise high” is not a myth! Regular exercise helps the brain produce a protein that seems to fortify parts of the hippocampus susceptible to depression, neuroscience has revealed. And Swedish researchers have found that exercise helps to keep your brain safe from harmful substances (one is called kynurenine) that build up during stress. Read more about how exercise will benefit you: https://fitness-over-50.com/2018/04/more-reasons-to-exercise/
Another great way to feel more optimistic (but perhaps not immediately) is to improve your diet. Research has shown that a cleaner diet kind of cleans out your brain too. So, cut back on the processed foods and eat more fruits and veggies. But watch the fruit because there’s a lot of sugar there. So eat more veggies.
Don’t think
Meditation has been shown to be a mood lifter too. You don’t have to be a serious yogi to meditate. Just find a comfortable position and clear your brain for a while. If clearing your brain is hard, you might want to try a guided meditation. And it doesn’t have to be long, either. As short a period as 3 minutes can make a huge difference.
Gravitate to Gratitude
Lastly, a sure-fire path to optimism and happiness is gratitude. You can have no place for unhappiness when you’re feeling grateful. And feeling grateful for something – anything – will set you far along on your path to happiness. It may seem too simple, but it’s true. Just by saying, “I’m grateful for the sunshine” will make my unhappiness go away? Perhaps not so easily, but you’re looking at the sun shining, squinting your eyes, and smiling, aren’t you? And smiling is a definite step to happiness.
And when you write down the things that you’re grateful for, when you journal your feelings of gratitude, your happiness will grow. Just the act of writing something down solidifies it. (That’s one reason we all took notes in class at school!) Of course, you can journal your gratitude on anything, but sometimes nothing comes immediately to mind. It’s OK if you have to look for things to be grateful for. Sometimes days are like that. So it’s helpful to have journaling prompts. This Gratitude and Happiness Journalnot only has prompts, but also inspirational quotes to start you thinking along an optimistic path.
So, be bold. Be optimistic. You’ll stand out, and everyone will think, “Wow, she always seems so happy. I want to be like her!”
Here in the Chicago area it’s cold today. Really cold. The high temperature today will not reach 20 degrees F. That’s cold. If you like to exercise outside, do you quit in the winter? Or do you grudgingly move indoors? No need to do either, according to experts. In fact, exercising outside can help you avoid a Vitamin D deficiency by exposure to the sun’s rays (wearing sunscreen, of course, to avoid the harmful effects!).
Don’t stop exercising
You still need to exercise in the cold months. That requirement does not go away when the weather is bad or you don’t feel like going outside. Your lungs, your heart, your bones, your muscles still need the work. To help strengthen the lungs, if your usual running route is snow-packed, then skiing or snowshoeing are good alternatives.
And the old myth that inhaling cold air will damage the lungs is not true, according to Dr. Olugusen Apata, a pulmonologist, critical care physician and sleep specialist with Advocate Trinity Hospital in Chicago. He says that because the air is dryer in winter months, some people may experience coughs, but the air is warmed sufficiently before it gets to the lungs.
The best way to exercise in cold weather
If you want to brave the cold to exercise, be sure to dress warmly and in layers. Layers will trap the air close to your body and warm it, keeping you warm in the middle. Be sure to wear appropriate shoes or boots that are comfortable for the sport you engage in but keep you safe from slipping on unseen hazards, like black ice. And warm gloves or mittens will keep your hands toasty and safe from frostbite. (I personally exercise indoors year-round. I’m no fan of running but when I do it for exercise, it’s on a treadmill. This post explains how I stay warm inside, at my desk at work, where the heater is not the best…)
Hydrate!
And you still need to drink plenty of water. You may not sweat as much when it’s cold, but you’re still burning calories and need to hydrate!
This has been a difficult time for many of us Americans. A sitting president urged his followers to riot at the Capitol. Through the miracle of technology we saw the events unfold in real time. Barricades fell. Legislators, in the midst of one of the most important jobs in months, were forced to evacuate to safe locations. Rioters overtook the chamber and congressional offices. They vandalized offices, stole equipment and perhaps sensitive documents. People were killed in the melee.
I did not get much work done this last Wednesday afternoon.
Stress takes over
Like many others, my stomach was churning, my head was spinning. I knew I had to do something to reduce my own stress. There was nothing I could do at that moment to alleviate the situation, all I could do was make sure that I did not take my stress out on my family, friends or dogs. I sometimes lash out when I’m feeling stress. It’s not fair to my sister or my friends. And the dogs certainly do not understand. They pick up on stress and tend to act emotionally too. Simon will race around, doing laps around the dining room table and leaping from the kitchen chair, over his brothers to run around. Booker will claw at us, insisting on our complete attention.
Step aerobics at my age?!?
So I did the hardest step workout I own. Now, at age 65, I won’t do a whole lot of jumping and the step is only at about 6 inches. I modified many of the high impact moves, but still got my heart rate up. Even though I modified the routines and made it more low-impact, it was very high intensity. And 45 minutes of intense cardio on a step is guaranteed to produce a lot of endorphins. (Thank you, Gin Miller!)
Intense physical exercise is a sure-fire way to release stress, burn a whole lot of calories, and leave me more even-tempered. I was much more able to face the rest of the world after that workout!
If you’re interested in step aerobics, check out some videos on YouTube before you invest in a step. For this type of exercise, you definitely need a step designed for it. Also, for those of us over 50, we may have knee and hip issues as well as other conditions, so check with your doctor before you start exercise, especially high impact and high intensity exercise.
And then calm…
And after that high-energy step workout, I did a short guided meditation to calm down. If you’ve heard of meditation and think that is something you’d like to try, there’s really no special equipment or background you need. Just sit comfortably and close your eyes. And then think of nothing. Clear your mind. If you have a hard time doing that, then a guided meditation can help.
How is your anger level? Are you easy to anger? When things don’t go right, do you get angry with your partner? The dog? The world? Do you lash out? Say things you don’t mean? Read on for ways to deal with it now.
While it’s frustrating when the outcome you were hoping for doesn’t happen, or when someone does things you take exception to, anger may be harming you more than the thing you were angry about by making you ill. And your anger may cause irreparable rifts in relationships. If you say something to a person you care about in the heat of the moment, you’ll probably regret it later.
How to deal with feelings of anger
Rather than have to apologize later, here are some ways to deal with your feelings of anger now.
The pause that refreshes. Rather than lash out and say something (or worse, punch something) immediately, take a breath and think. Let someone else take the lead and decompress the situation. Or give the individual who’s fermenting your anger an opportunity to think about his or her statement and realize that it may have been inappropriate.
Use “I” instead of “you.” If you do address the individual, use statements beginning with “I.” If you start by saying, “I’m upset by your statement,” or “I’m frustrated when …” and give your reasons rationally this may have a much better outcome than if you say, “You’re an idiot for saying something so stupid!” Likewise, avoid absolute words like “never” and “always.” Like, “You never …” or “I always have to …”
Resolve, don’t instigate. If there’s a problem and you see a solution that will make sense, offer it. Don’t just point out the problem and expect others to resolve it to your satisfaction. Take charge and you may get the result you want.
Be like Elsa. Let anger and frustration go. You may not forget, but be sure to forgive. Life’s too short to hold onto resentment, anger and frustration. You’ll be happier and more at peace.
Move. Be sure to exercise. Exercise is definitely the best stress-reliever. It doesn’t matter what form your exercise takes, but be sure you do it. After a good workout, you may be more likely to be calmer and solutions may present themselves.
Relax. Take time for you. If you’re rushing all the time, your brain can’t settle itself and figure out what it needs. Just a few minutes a day may be all you need to get your positivity back.
Take a breath
So, even if you see something, hear something or think of something that makes you feel your anger rising, just take a few seconds. Just a few. Think about your reaction. Take a breath. If you still feel angry, think about what you’re going to say that won’t escalate the situation and may, in fact, lead to a resolution.
I’ve said it before – I don’t like to work out. I hate exercising. I hate getting out of breath and sweaty. I hate running. I hate working my joints when they don’t want to get worked.
But I do it.
The benefits
I do it because of the benefits I know I’m receiving from exercise. Exercise helps my aging brain hold onto memories, as well as learn new stuff. Exercise helps my bones and muscles stay strong. Exercise helps my endurance. Exercise helps me sleep better.
So I do it. But I don’t have to like it.
Maximize my focus, minimize my time
So when I exercise, I want to make sure that I’m maximizing my time and not work any longer than I have to. So I focus on what I’m doing to make sure that I’m really targeting what I’m supposed to be targeting.
Years ago, when I went to a health club to exercise I saw women (it was an all-women health club) lift one-pound weights with no attention to form. I saw women mosey on the treadmill while looking at their phones. And I saw women in group classes just going through the motions.
Time to kill? Not me!
I wondered about those women. They must have had so much time on their hands, they could afford to be at the health club for hours at a time and burn fewer calories than I did in my half hour or 40 minutes. (How rude were those women – not giving their all to that instructor? She was giving her all to them! The least they could do was reciprocate.) But I had to get back to work! I was on a deadline! I had to put my time in on the stair machine or treadmill or rowing machine or free weights, clean up and get back to work.
And now – I work out at home and I still hate it. But I give my all. If I’m going to devote that much time to something I dislike doing, I’m going to do it well and not feel guilty about it. Going through the motions doesn’t do anyone any good. I’m exercising for a reason so I’ll do it right!
The secret to success
The secret is to just pay attention. Focus on what you’re doing. If you can’t do a move properly, modify that move to give you maximum benefit now and help you get stronger or more flexible so you are able to do that move the right way at some point in the future. Get the maximum benefit from every exercise you do. From your warmup through the workout to your cool-down.
Everyone exercises for different reasons. Sure, some of them may be similar – like staying fit, losing weight, strengthening muscles. But exercise also helps you in other ways: it helps your brain.
Exercise equals food for the brain
As we age, it seems like everything deteriorates. It’s the old “use it or lose it” adage. If we don’t exercise, our muscles become weak and may even atrophy. If we don’t do weight-bearing exercises, our bones become brittle and may break.
Exercise provides oxygen for the brain, but even more, exercise helps our brain in other ways.
A recent study of athletes’ brains showed that they were better at ignoring distracting background noise and better at focusing on the sounds that really mattered to them. The study tested athletes and other participants by attaching electrodes to their scalps and studying the electricity their brains produced when different sounds were introduced.
Dr. Kate Essad, Lead of Sports Neurology, Director of Concussion Management at Aurora Health Center in Milwaukee, says that “by doing activities like sports, which require habituation of reaction time and integrating many different sensory systems, your brain can function faster and it can perform tasks faster – and probably better.”
“Most neurological conditions, migraine, dementia – all of them are benefitted by regular exercise because the brain requires fresh blood flow and cardiovascular conditioning,” she says. “And all of these conditions are reduced by stimulating your brain. It’s the most important thing for dementia and cognitive decline – things people get when they age.”
Take a focus break
So, if you’re sitting at your desk and have been working away for a couple of hours and your mind starts to wander – you’re losing focus – take a break. Get up and walk for ten minutes. When you get back and start work again, chances are you’ll be able to concentrate better and be much more productive.
Dr. Essad also points out that there are other ways to help your brain too, like reading and writing, learning a new language, or playing a musical instrument.
Everyday things to help your brain
And everyday there are things we can do to make sure our brains age as well as the rest of us:
Get plenty of exercise, practice mindfulness or meditation and make healthy food choices.
So, you’re in a rhythm. Working out four or five times a week, exactly on schedule. You’re eating right most of the time. Keeping your food journal and watching those calories. You’re getting plenty of sleep and meditating from time to time to keep the stress at bay.
And then things are scheduled three days in a row and you don’t exercise. Or the dog got sick and you had to rush him to the vet after work when you usually work out. Or you had to stop at the grocery store and the lines were a mile long.
Your living partner brings in a treat that’s too delectable to pass up. Or he / she made a dish that they were so proud of that you absolutely could not turn down.
You listened to the news or read an article that kept your brain working all night long. Two hours of sleep.
You fell off the wagon
Life happens. It’s not an excuse.
It happens to everyone. You’re not special. You’re not immune from life.
So what? You didn’t exercise for three days in a row. You ate a few extra calories. you can’t un-eat them – there’s no going back in time. Or you lost some sleep. No big deal.
Don’t make that an excuse
Life happens. Get back on the wagon. Get back to your regularly scheduled routine.
Don’t make not exercising or eating a few extra calories an excuse to stay off the wagon.
I’ve heard it too often: What’s the use? If I work out today, it won’t make up for the days I lost.
That doesn’t matter. If you wait another couple of days, you’ll be sore in the following days, your energy will be low, you’ll have trouble completing the workout.
You are an exerciser! You’ve built up that habit over months. Don’t spoil that now. Don’t change that habit. You just had an interruption. Get back on that treadmill. Or stick that DVD in the player. Change into your workout gear.
And those extra calories? They don’t matter now. Devote your energy to making healthy choices today.
No matter the motivation, the inspiration, sometimes it’s just hard to get up the get-up-and-go to work out. Like yesterday for me. I know all the reasons to exercise. I write about them, for goodness’ sake.
But sometimes even all that knowledge just isn’t good enough to inspire me to exercise.
I know the benefits
I knew that once I started and felt everything start to tingle with the warm-up, the workout would be over before I knew it.
I also knew that when the workout was over and the final stretch and cool-down began, all those endorphins would be racing through my body and I’d feel fantastic. And that shower when I was done would feel better than great.
And I knew that I’d sleep better if I worked out. And that I would be in a better mood. And that my blood pressure would go down, I’d be able to concentrate and focus better, and that I would have even more energy after my workout. (For more benefits of exercise, read https://fitness-over-50.com/2015/09/why-exercise/)
Not enough
But that did not convince me to change into my workout gear and exercise. The dogs were not helping, they were being cute so I didn’t want to stop playing with them.
What did make me change and start my workout?
Pasta with bolognese sauce.
My favorite. I’m a pasta-holic. I love pasta, especially my mom’s “spaghetti.” When we were growing up, mom would make spaghetti every month or so and it was always my sister’s and my favorite. Only when we were adults we learned that it was really pasta with bolognese sauce – a hifalutin’ word if ever there was one. Pasta – didn’t matter the shape – in a rich, tomato-ey sauce with caramelized onions and ground beef.
And it was for dinner. There was no way I wanted to feel guilty about consuming loads of calories of my favorite dish, and I certainly was not going to skimp on the portion size. We don’t have it that often any more.
No guilt
So I changed and worked out.
And, yes, the warmup felt good. It was an intense and sweaty workout. The stretch and cool-down felt better. The shower afterward was absolutely divine.
Many people are feeling anxious and stressed these days. In fact, everyone I’ve talked to lately is feeling it. The effect of long-term stress on our bodies can actually be harmful. Long-term stress can negatively impact our blood pressure, heart rate, sleep and even our eating habits. (See my article about both long-and short-term stress.)
We naturally try to avoid stress, but when we’re feeling overwhelmed by things that are outside of our control, we feel even more sensitive to outside factors.
There are some ways to deal with this stress, though.
Calm the stress energy
Engage in mindfulness techniques to divert your attention away from the anxiety. Try meditation or do an exercise session. This will help to reduce your anxiety in the short run, but it won’t go away.
Pay attention to your thoughts
This technique engages mindfulness techniques as well. But, rather than engage in these techniques after you feel stress and anxiety, try to recognize your thoughts going in that direction before they lead you on that hamster wheel.
Take some control
One reason that you’re feeling elevated stress is that you feel that there is nothing you can do. This leads to feelings of helplessness, and increased stress and anxiety.
A way to alleviate those feelings of helplessness is to find some small thing that doesn’t take a lot of thought or energy, and cross it off your to-do list. You won’t mess it up since it doesn’t require a great deal of effort, but just the act of crossing something off your list can ease some of your stress.
Take positive steps
Here’s where it gets a little tougher. You know how good it felt to knock something off your to-do list? It will feel even better to take steps toward a bigger goal.
When you’re dealing with anxiety, your avoidance motivation kicks in. Thoughts are racing around in your head, and you want to do anything you can to avoid those thoughts. And when you’re in this thought pattern, you’ll see all the flaws and problems that there could be in this course of action. So it can be difficult to take any action with those thoughts running around in your head.
But when you actually do start putting some energy toward that goal you can start to see the outcome you want. This is hard, though, because you have to overcome those churning thoughts in your head. Once you do you’ll start to become happier and you can start to anticipate that positive outcome.
