Lifestyle Archives - Page 13 of 14 - Fran's Fitness Over 50

How is your anger level?

Angry with the world?

How is your anger level? Are you easy to anger? When things don’t go right, do you get angry with your partner? The dog? The world? Do you lash out? Say things you don’t mean? Read on for ways to deal with it now.

While it’s frustrating when the outcome you were hoping for doesn’t happen, or when someone does things you take exception to, anger may be harming you more than the thing you were angry about by making you ill. And your anger may cause irreparable rifts in relationships. If you say something to a person you care about in the heat of the moment, you’ll probably regret it later.

How to deal with feelings of anger

Rather than have to apologize later, here are some ways to deal with your feelings of anger now.

The pause that refreshes. Rather than lash out and say something (or worse, punch something) immediately, take a breath and think. Let someone else take the lead and decompress the situation. Or give the individual who’s fermenting your anger an opportunity to think about his or her statement and realize that it may have been inappropriate.
Use “I” instead of “you.” If you do address the individual, use statements beginning with “I.” If you start by saying, “I’m upset by your statement,” or “I’m frustrated when …” and give your reasons rationally this may have a much better outcome than if you say, “You’re an idiot for saying something so stupid!” Likewise, avoid absolute words like “never” and “always.” Like, “You never …” or “I always have to …”
Resolve, don’t instigate. If there’s a problem and you see a solution that will make sense, offer it. Don’t just point out the problem and expect others to resolve it to your satisfaction. Take charge and you may get the result you want.
Be like Elsa. Let anger and frustration go. You may not forget, but be sure to forgive. Life’s too short to hold onto resentment, anger and frustration. You’ll be happier and more at peace.
Move. Be sure to exercise. Exercise is definitely the best stress-reliever. It doesn’t matter what form your exercise takes, but be sure you do it. After a good workout, you may be more likely to be calmer and solutions may present themselves.
Relax. Take time for you. If you’re rushing all the time, your brain can’t settle itself and figure out what it needs. Just a few minutes a day may be all you need to get your positivity back.

Take a breath

So, even if you see something, hear something or think of something that makes you feel your anger rising, just take a few seconds. Just a few. Think about your reaction. Take a breath. If you still feel angry, think about what you’re going to say that won’t escalate the situation and may, in fact, lead to a resolution.

Here’s the opposite of anger: Happiness!

I’m taking Nike’s slogan

Everyone recognizes Nike’s trademarked slogan, “Just do it!” But it has real meaning for me.

Lots of things I DON’T want to do

There are many things none of us wants to do on any given day. But in order to live with ourselves, we recognize that we just have to buckle down and “do it.” I don’t want to get up, but I have to take the dogs out or I’ll have a wet bed. So I do it. I don’t want to tackle the mess on my desk, but I have to or I won’t be able to find anything. So I’ll do it. I don’t want to face the crowds at the fruit market this afternoon in a mask, but we need stuff so I’ll just do it.

Cook?

I don’t want to actually cook meals, but they’re so much better, healthier and more affordable than anything out of a box or delivered, so I’ll do it. I made a dynamite soup on Saturday with sweet potatoes, chicken and swiss chard (that I should have taken pictures of ) that warmed us up on a raw, miserable day. And it was worth it.

So I remember those things as I stare at the piles on my desk as I write this. Now where’s that receipt from …

Working out

The same applies to working out.

I don’t like to work out. But I do it.

It’s become a habit.

Samuel Johnson, the famous 18th century literary figure said, “The chains of habit are too weak to be felt until they are too strong to be broken.”

What does that mean?

We do something and do the same thing, and do it over and over again. That thing becomes a habit. And then when we decide to not do it, it’s practically impossible. Not doing that thing creates a hole in ourselves that we are compelled to fill with that thing. Not doing it will leave you with the feeling that something is missing for the rest of the day.

It takes conscious effort to break a habit. And it’s not easy. It may be easier to develop a habit than to break one. (Not that you’d want to break the habit of exercising.)

So, exercising is a habit. It’s just something I do. Every Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday and Saturday. It doesn’t matter what I do during my workout. I just do it on those days. Even if I just have 20 minutes to devote to my workout. I make those the best 20 minutes of exercise that I can. But I do it.

Here are 4 ways that exercise can become a habit: https://fitness-over-50.com/2017/05/4-things-to-make-exercise-a-habit/

Sharpen your focus

Everyone exercises for different reasons. Sure, some of them may be similar – like staying fit, losing weight, strengthening muscles. But exercise also helps you in other ways: it helps your brain.

Exercise equals food for the brain

Your focus will improve after you exercise.

As we age, it seems like everything deteriorates. It’s the old “use it or lose it” adage. If we don’t exercise, our muscles become weak and may even atrophy. If we don’t do weight-bearing exercises, our bones become brittle and may break.

Exercise provides oxygen for the brain, but even more, exercise helps our brain in other ways.

A recent study of athletes’ brains showed that they were better at ignoring distracting background noise and better at focusing on the sounds that really mattered to them. The study tested athletes and other participants by attaching electrodes to their scalps and studying the electricity their brains produced when different sounds were introduced.

Dr. Kate Essad, Lead of Sports Neurology, Director of Concussion Management at Aurora Health Center in Milwaukee, says that “by doing activities like sports, which require habituation of reaction time and integrating many different sensory systems, your brain can function faster and it can perform tasks faster – and probably better.”

“Most neurological conditions, migraine, dementia – all of them are benefitted by regular exercise because the brain requires fresh blood flow and cardiovascular conditioning,” she says. “And all of these conditions are reduced by stimulating your brain. It’s the most important thing for dementia and cognitive decline – things people get when they age.”

Take a focus break

So, if you’re sitting at your desk and have been working away for a couple of hours and your mind starts to wander – you’re losing focus – take a break. Get up and walk for ten minutes. When you get back and start work again, chances are you’ll be able to concentrate better and be much more productive.

Dr. Essad also points out that there are other ways to help your brain too, like reading and writing, learning a new language, or playing a musical instrument.

Everyday things to help your brain

And everyday there are things we can do to make sure our brains age as well as the rest of us:

Get plenty of exercise, practice mindfulness or meditation and make healthy food choices.

Read about how I clear my mind so that it’s able to focus on important stuff.

Where’s my motivation?

A few months ago, after the initial shock of the lockdown, many of us were inspired to begin exercising at home. We couldn’t go to gyms, so we worked out in our living rooms or basements, or started walking or running outside.

But as the weeks went on, as the saying goes, we’re just “not that into it” anymore.

Where’s my motivation? Where did it go?

We may have lost that initial glow, that feeling of, “Hey! Look at me! I’m actually exercising and I even lost a few pounds.”

But then things started to go back to semi-normal. Gyms started opening up, but it wasn’t the same. There were occupancy limits. Masks were required in many cases. It was hard. We may have gone back a few times, but it was hard.

And then cases started rising and things locked down again.

And your motivation up and went. The starting and stopping, starting and stopping – do I go to the gym? do I go for a run? Or, do I sit on the couch.

Different motivations

Starting a new behavior requires much different motivation than keeping that behavior going.

At first we were inspired to do something that was actually good for us while we were cooped up at home. We were told that we should exercise – it would be good for us.

But then we were able to do other things, outside our homes. Meet friends at restaurants – outside, perhaps, but still a social gathering. Or go shopping. And so our motivation to exercise went by the wayside.

It’s much more difficult to sustain motivation for a behavior that we may not be that invested in to start with. We need more than “we should do this” to keep it going.

Make it easy

If you’re serious about wanting to exercise – and I’ve written before about the many reasons TO exercise, make it easy on yourself. Make it easy to be an exerciser.

Have your workout gear handy. Whether you work out at home or actually go to a gym – have a drawer, or part of a drawer, specifically for clothes you use to work out in.
Do something you like, or don’t mind so much. Whether it’s running, walking, lifting weights, dancing, yoga – figure out what you won’t mind doing for 30 – 40 minutes a few times a week and
SCHEDULE it. Yes – write it down in your calendar. It helps to make it the same time on the days that you exercise – you will get used to exercising at that time. Whether it’s 7:00 in the morning, 3:30 in the afternoon or 10:00 at night. Make an appointment with yourself. Every day. Write it down. Make it a repeating appointment in your Google calendar.
If you feel like running one day and lifting weights the next – perfectly OK. Don’t lock yourself into a particular style of exercise. Cross-training is good for you.

Get your motivation back. Be an exerciser, not just someone who sometimes exercises. Your body – and your mind – will thank you.

Multitasking can be dangerous

We’ve already established that as we get older, our balance diminishes unless we actively do something about it. But what does that mean in real life?

Walking and talking

If we’re taking a walk outside when the weather is nice, we may be looking at the trees or noticing the flowers. If we add something to the mix, like talking on our phone – we may not notice the uneven pavement. Talking with friends is great, but we get so involved in the conversation – agreeing with or arguing about a topic with the friend – that we get distracted. If we’re distracted, we’re not paying attention to where we’re going. While we probably won’t run into the walker ahead of us, we may not notice the huge crack until it’s too late. So we may want to wait until we get home to call our friends. Listening to a podcast or an audiobook is different. We’re not actively engaged in that second pursuit, so we can focus on our steps. If you’re in a safe area, by all means, plug in those earphones (or airphones, whichever…)

Overload!

Carrying the groceries into the house from the car can be another dangerous pursuit. Don’t overload. And don’t try to carry too much at one time. If you overload the bags, they may be too heavy for you. Don’t hurt yourself by trying to lift too much weight. And if you try to take too many bags at once, you won’t be able to see the ground in front of you and could trip over something in your way that you don’t see.

Multitasking – dangerous for your health

Cooking while watching TV and scrolling your newsfeed or checking your email? You may want to cut one of those activities. I know – you have to put dinner on the table and that’s not the most exciting thing. By all means listen to the news on TV or on your phone, but don’t watch an adorable cat video at the same time. You don’t want anything to get burned – especially your dinner.

And multitasking could reduce your productivity – read more.

The moral? Pay attention. Multitasking can be dangerous.

Feeling happy today

Why do I feel happy?

I’m feeling happy today and I don’t really know why. There’s still a pandemic. The economy (no matter what anyone says) is really not doing very well. I spent most of the day working on a grant application and then the submission host crashed…

But, I put my favorite station on Pandora and I’ve been bouncing in my seat all day.

The sun is shining. The air is a little cooler and more clear. I had a (pretty) good night’s sleep. My back doesn’t hurt and I put in 4 good workouts this week. I was able to watch some of a live stream from one of my favorite places on earth and watched a dolphin paint a wine glass. I might have to save my pennies to bid on that during the auction!

Optimism rocks!

I’m feeling optimistic as a result. Our grant will be accepted. It won’t be 90 degrees again this year. They’ll find and approve an effective vaccine and figure out a way to manufacture and distribute it safely to everyone who wants it expeditiously.

The moral there is – get happy. Grow your optimism. Find ways to make yourself happy. Pessimism paralyzes. When you’re feeling down about everything it’s much more difficult to get up the energy to accomplish even the most necessary tasks. Connect with friends. Seek out things that are guaranteed to make you happy – at least, happier.

Results of happiness

When you’re happy, you’re more productive. You relate better to others. You’re kinder. You sleep better. For me, when I’m happy and optimistic, I snap at others less. I’m able to plan. I look forward, and don’t dwell on the past. I’m less likely to eat junk. I’ll sleep better and wake more refreshed. Smiling uses fewer muscles – I won’t get lines around my mouth. And all that dancing in place has surely burned a few calories!

A solemn anniversary – be good to yourself

Today is the 19th anniversary of the day our safe little world ended. September 11, 2001 – the day terrorists took over 3 planes and did so much damage the world changed forever.

The world came together

In the days following 9/11, people the world over came together to deal with their stress and grief. We honored the first responders. We grieved with the families of the fallen. We tried to come to terms with the events of that horrible day.

My sister and I had reservations for a vacation just a few weeks after 9/11 – a hiking tour around parts of Quebec. The trip went on, and even though friends said that to be prepared for French Canadian haughtiness, the predominant feeling I got from the people we met there was camaraderie and friendship. The world did, indeed come together.

Another crisis today

These days, we’re in the midst of another crisis – the global COVID-19 pandemic. Everyone is dealing with the same crisis, dealing with stress and uncertainty about the future – even uncertainty about the present.

Similarities

Rev. Kevin Massey, who worked as a Chaplain at Ground Zero in New York City after 9/11, sees similarities between the two events. “These days are very similar to those,” Massey told WGN radio. “At that time, we felt uncertain about what was next. We feel that now, too. We were afraid and anxious. We feel that now too. At the same time, was there not a spirit of unity that drew people together?” he says. “I see that happening now all over the place as well.” Massey talks with health care workers, helping them get through times of stress.

Importance of Resiliency

And Rev. Massey talks about the importance of resiliency – the ability to bounce back from tough times. “To be deeply affected does not mean that we are defeated,” he said. “And it turns out that resilience can be bolstered through practices of self-care and self-nurture and seeking human connectivity.”

So, be good to yourself! Give yourself a break. If you don’t get everything done that was on your to-do list and you worked hard, so what. Take a little extra time to breathe air. Enjoy some nature – even if it’s just pictures. Share a favorite video.

And reach out to friends. Start a Zoom call. Or just send a message that says you’re thinking about them.

Learn more about how you can become more resilient in the free ebook.

It’s tough getting old

It’s tough getting old. In getting older, we want to stay fit and healthy so that we can enjoy our “golden years.” In order to enjoy those years, we want to reduce stress and be happy.

All those things are really hard. We’ve spent lots of years exercising and eating right. When is it our turn to go crazy? Just lie on the couch and eat junk food.

We’ve spent lots of years working. When do we get to just do what we want?

That’s harder than ever now.

Everything costs money. And everything is more expensive than it used to be. Our incomes are not going up, so we have to be creative. And that’s exhausting.

But, things are easier when they become a habit.

So, let’s create some habits we can live with and be happy about for many, many years to come.

Eating right

Meal planning can become a habit. And it’s easier when you plan out a week’s worth of meals. Pick one day and gather your favorite recipes. Decide on 21 nutritious but delicious meals (if you don’t plan on bringing meals in – we do carryout from our favorite restaurants a couple evenings a week), make a list of items you need from the grocery store, and plan your shopping trip. And plan your snacks, too – things you look upon as treats, but are still healthy. OK – maybe a tiny bit indulgent…

Exercise

I’ve written many a blog post about the benefits of exercise as we age. Here’s one: “Why Exercise?” For now, let’s just agree that it’s necessary. Pick a program and stick with it. You don’t have to spend hours a day exercising, but it should be fairly intense – for you – 30 minutes 4 or 5 times a week. The most important thing is to be consistent in your exercise. By all means mix up the kind of exercise that you’re doing, but do it.

Get happy

Money may be tight, but that’s no reason not to do things that make you happy. Every day. Read a book. Reread a favorite. Listen to music. Go outside and breathe some fresh air.

Practice your balance

Your balance is not going to fix itself.

Yes, I harp on balance a lot. Because it’s necessary. Yes, it’s the summer. No, you’re not going to slip on the ice tomorrow and fall and break your hip. I know there are still months of warmer weather before the first snowflake falls.

Use those weeks wisely.

As I learned, balance is something we lose as we age unless we do something about it. My article in “Scary Symptoms” describes my introduction to this sad fact.

As we age, we lose our balance. It may not be noticeable when you go about your daily lives. But, that first patch of ice in the fall is a rude awakening.

I see so many stories in the winter of people my age, and even younger, who fall on the ice and break bones that are already brittle – another result of aging. Kathleen Cameron, a Senior Director at the National Council on Aging, told me just how big a problem falls and loss of balance is for older Americans: https://fitness-over-50.com/2017/07/prevent-falls-my-interview-with-kathleen-cameron/

Of course I’d rather age than die, but it certainly becomes almost a full-time job to counteract the effects of aging. As they say, though, “Use it or lose it!” That applies to muscles, bones, eyes, ears and balance. We exercise and eat right to maintain our muscles and bones. We try to take in the right nutrients to help our vision and hearing. And we have to practice our balance to keep from losing that too.

Practicing balance is easy. It just takes a couple of minutes a day. Go grab my “Week of Balance” download – just click the link on the right side of this page. It’s got a week’s worth of balance exercises plus a bonus or two. If you do one of these every day, your balance will improve. You won’t need to grab the counter when you try to stand on one foot. You’ll climb that step stool without even thinking about it. I’ve said it before – I multi-task and stand on one foot while I brush my teeth in the evening.

So – Read the article. Grab the download. Practice your balance. No fancy equipment needed.

Another mood-lifter

Fran, pre-haircut. I'm smiling, but feeling down. — Pre-haircut

I’ve told you many ways to lift your mood. Down in the dumps? Put some music on and get moving. Take a walk. Play with the dog. Cook one of your favorite dishes. All those are great ways to improve your mood. Another one? Get a haircut.

I’ve been growing my hair and growing out the color. But it’s been more than five months since my last haircut. My hair is out of control.

True, most of the summer it’s been up in a clip or in a ponytail to keep me cooler, but the bangs are in my eyes and the ends are in pretty bad shape.

So, I’m excited that I’m getting a cut tomorrow. I don’t know what it’ll look like when Jan is done, but it will be better. I’ve been seeing Jan for over 30 years! We’ve grown up together. I’ve seen her kids grow up, seen the joy and heartache. So it will be good to see Jan – masks and all.

Why is getting a haircut such a mood-lifter? I’ll still look pretty much the same. My appearance won’t have improved drastically. My hair will be in better shape, it’s true. But I won’t look that different.

Perhaps it’s just the act of doing something nice for myself. Sure – basic skin care, exercise and eating right are all things that we do for ourselves. But actually going somewhere and having things done for you is that extra layer of pampering.

These days, during the time of COVID-19 social distancing and mask-wearing, we all seem to be sucked into a whirlpool. We don’t know which end is up, what’s right, what’s wrong, what we should do about filling our empty shelves when there are shortages. I know many days I’m feeling lost at sea. So it’s a taste of normalcy to go out and do something that I used to do more regularly. To do something nice for myself, for a change.