happiness Archives - Fran's Fitness Over 50

Choose the right goal

Much of what I write is about fitness and creating goals to achieve what you want for your fitness. But I haven’t written about how to go about how to choose the right goal. I tell you to choose goals that are a stretch but achievable, that are quantifiable, and that have a deadline. And I suggest that you break your big goals down into intermediate goals that are even more achievable in the short term.

But how do you choose the right goal for you?

First, think about what you want in life and in your fitness. I’ve told you that one of my goals is to run 7.8 miles per hour for a sustained three minutes at a 2.5 percent incline on the treadmill. Some of you may laugh at that because you can do that in your sleep. Others may think that it’s out of reach. And still others may question my sanity. For me, I believe that this goal is achievable with some work.

What do you want to do?

Your fitness goal is not mine. You may want to be able to run around your yard with the grandkids, or hike in Europe, or even walk in the mall with friends. So, choose the right goal for you. What will it take for you to have the endurance to run around with the grandkids and then go inside and cook a delicious dinner? Some questions you might ask yourself are: Can you walk for an extended period now? Can you walk unassisted? How quickly can you walk? Are you able to run on grass? Can you stop short and turn quickly? Once you assess your current abilities, these might be some intermediate goals to set for yourself. If you see obstacles in the way of achieving a goal like this, like achy knees and hips, find out what it might take to reduce or eliminate that pain.

Here’s the plan:

Or what kind of training will you need to hike in Europe? Think about the future you envision for yourself and choose the right goal for you. Then figure out exactly what it will take to achieve it. Adrienne Tierney, instructor and research advisor for Harvard Extension School’s psychology master’s program, agrees that your goal needs to be concrete, and researching what it will take to achieve it are key. Creating the right goal for you enables your resilience and your healthy aging. You’re seeing the future, and it’s rosy. You have an optimistic mindset. Then creating the intermediate steps helps your time management – because you schedule the work you’ll need to do to achieve them. Your Get It Done Guide will help you choose the right goals for you and identify the steps you’ll need to take to get there.

And choosing the right goals for you will make it so much more likely that you’ll work to see them happen.

Grateful for everything

Does anyone understand how time works? One minute I’m not making resolutions for the New Year, and the next we’re roasting the Thanksgiving turkey. How does that happen? Anyway. It’s that time of year when everyone shares with the people around the table what they’re grateful for. I’m grateful for everything.

Gratitude brings resilience

This year has been tough, but we’ve proven that we’re tougher. We’ve shown resilience in the face of numerous obstacles, and grown stronger as a result. We’ve shown the world that even when things don’t go our way, we can still hold our heads high and be grateful that we’ll have another opportunity to show our stuff. We can be grateful for everything we’ve got, even when that’s not much.

What I’m grateful for

My old dogs are still around. The 15-year-old wanders around and messes in the house more, but he’s still mostly healthy (knock on wood). Booker (pictured) is 12, and he’s very special too. I’m grateful for having the ability to move my body pretty much how I want when I want. I’m grateful to be able to get up from the floor. I’m also grateful for my senses. I can experience all the wonders around me.

What does being grateful for everything bring?

Okay. enough about me. Showing gratitude every day brings optimism and joy, essential for your healthy aging. And expressing it will make you feel even better. You would think that it would work the other way – that the person who you’re expressing gratitude to would feel the joy, but it’s you. When you express your thanks, you’re acknowledging that someone else thought about you. Someone wanted to make things a little easier for you. And knowing that will give you what I call the “warm fuzzies.” That feeling will last for far longer than the moment it takes you to express your gratitude.

You don’t have to express your thanks out loud. A note will work. And if it’s not a person you’re grateful to, writing in a Gratitude Journal works, too. It’s also a wonder to look back on and rediscover the feelings.

I have a lot of people to thank. I’ll get started now.

5 Ways to Create a Positive Mindset

It’s tough these days. The world seems to be getting smaller and more nervous all at the same time. With instant access to so many media sources, it’s easy to become overwhelmed. And this week has brought it all to the fore. My brain has been churning so much that I’ve had to completely check out a few times to not break down completely. And checking out – turning everything off – is one way to create a positive mindset (see below).

Why does a positive mindset matter? If you believe that things are dark, you’ll never see the light again, and you’ll never be able to do anything about it, then you won’t. You’ll be stuck in that dark place because you believe it. On the other hand, if you completely believe that something is possible, you’ll make it happen. An article in the Journal of Neurochemistry indicates that our brains adapt to changes in its environment. It’s not as simple as affirming that everything is okay, but our brains are quite malleable. And we can make that positive change happen. You’ll be happier, more productive and more resilient. Here are some ways to create a positive mindset and let ourselves get things done.

Stop doomscrolling

I found myself getting more and more depressed with each post I read the other day. I had to consciously turn my phone off to get out of that spiral. So, when things get to be too much, just turn your screens off. It can be for five minutes or five hours. Take the time you need.

Sleep

Make sure you get enough sleep. Being tired affects your mood, your productivity and your health. Stick to a consistent sleep routine. It helps.

Get one thing done

Set your priorities for the day, making sure that you choose a few intermediate steps toward your goals. You’ve developed these in the worksheet included in the Get It Done Guide. And get one thing done. Just one little thing checked off can really improve your mood. It’s so satisfying.

Exercise

I’ve said it before – those endorphins from intense exercise are real. I feel a bazillion times better after a workout. After a tough exercise session, I’m a much nicer person.

Meditate

It’s not woowoo. It really does help to center you and help your mind stop churning. A short guided meditation (download one for under a dollar here) can clear your brain and help you become more productive.

Use any or all of these techniques to create a positive mindset. They work for me.

Get Stuff Done Funtime Menu

One from Column A on your Get Stuff Done Funtime Menu to get your motivation going.

My sister and I are in the midst of switching our ecommerce platform and the stress from that, along with everything else, is taking its toll. Google has lost our online shop while we’re switching, so sales are nonexistent. Tango, my geriatric dog, hasn’t been well the last couple of days as I’m writing this. The tire pressure light in my car came on when I was on my way to a client. My motivation has fossilized. I can’t get anything done because I’m so stressed.

And then I remembered an article about the Dopamine Menu. Create a menu of courses of things that make you feel better. Do a little one – that’s the “choose one from Column A” like on a Chinese restaurant menu – and you’ll get the boost to get your motivation going. I like to call it my Get Stuff Done Funtime Menu. Weird name, right? But it perfectly describes what it’s used for. When your motivation has gone, pick up your Menu and choose something to just get something done.

There’s so much to do, but I don’t feel like doing anything. I’m scared to get it wrong. I’m scared to interfere with something that needs to happen on its own. My bank balance is diminishing. But life goes on. And I know that better days are on the horizon. I just have to get there. But how?

Enter the Get Stuff Done Funtime Menu. Because, no matter how much you want to get stuff done, if you’re paralyzed with fear, it’s not going to happen. Here’s how to unparalyze yourself.

Create your Menu

I encourage you to create your Get Stuff Done Funtime Menu when you’re not feeling stressed. You won’t be creative, you won’t think of a thing to put on your menu. So start this project when you’re calm and have about twenty minutes. Things to keep in mind: none of us has unlimited time. That’s why we create 3 columns. The Appetizer, The Main Dish, and Dessert. Yes, dessert. We deserve it. And when you don’t feel like doing anything, check your Get Stuff Done Funtime Menu – especially Dessert, knowing that if you’re serious and do Get Stuff Done, a reward awaits!

So get your completed worksheets from your Get It Done Guide and get to work. You’ve filled out a worksheet for each of your goals, and you’ll want to put items from all of your worksheets in your Menu.

The Appetizer

Each entry in your Appetizer column should take no more than 10 – 15 minutes to complete. Sorting the mail or cleaning out your sock drawer, as examples. Or for me, as an example from this morning, changing the code to the Packing Slip template on our new ecommerce platform. This should be something that doesn’t take long but ticks one little thing off the list. Don’t have a list? Check your Get Stuff Done worksheet for a small Intermediate step toward one of your goals.

Your Main Dish

Go for a walk and get some fresh air when you're feeling paralyzed.

As the name implies, the Main Dish column on your Get Stuff Done Funtime Menu should be more meaty. It could take a few hours. Again, check your worksheet for a bigger Intermediate Step toward a Big Goal. So, in my example, setting up the Rewards application on our new ecommerce site could fit the bill as a Main Dish.

Or, if you know you need to exercise but really can’t face changing for a full exercise session, call a friend and go for a walk. The fresh air will revitalize you. You’ll be in a better frame of mind when you’re done too.

Dessert

The reward for a job well done! But be careful here – don’t blow the budget or the calorie reserve. Keep the size of the task in mind when you choose a dessert – they should be in line. And your Dessert can be used as incentive for actually getting stuff done!

And when you actually do accomplish something, your mindset will be more positive. That leads to more resilience. And you’ll be happier.

Making plans is for the strong

It occurred to me the other day as I was planning out a series of posts that the future was going to happen. It takes a certain kind of strength to plan for the future. Strength of will, and strength of being. You trust that some things will happen, and other things might. That requires a great deal of resilience – trusting that you’ll get through whatever life throws at you. Making plans is for the strong.

It’s not necessarily about strength training

I’m not talking about increasing your poundage for strength training when you exercise, although that’s a worthwhile goal as well. The fact that we plan at all means that we are optimistic that we’ll have a future. That we’ll be capable of performing the tasks in that plan. And we’ll actually want to see that plan to its completion.

Planning is resilience

That’s resilience at its core. Making plans and following through on them also requires strength of will. For example, say you want to move to a bigger house in eight months. That’s your goal. What’s needed for that to happen? And here’s where your planning skills take over. You’ll need to put aside a sufficient down payment. The house you’re living in must be sold, unless you’re renting. So any repairs and upgrades need to get done, unless you go sell your house as-is. And you need to find your new house. You’ll put intermediate steps and dates on all that, and put your plan into motion.

That’s a big plan. You think you’re not strong? The fact that you know that you can accomplish all of that means that you know you’re capable, you have the resources to figure things out when they go a little sideways and still come out on top.

Making plans is for the strong. You make plans so you’re optimistic for the future and you’ll be healthier going forward. Your resilience makes it possible for you to smile through adversity, essential for your healthy aging.

Start planning your future

If you’re at the point in your life where you’ve retired from work and you don’t feel like seeking other work, you may be feeling at a loss and you’re searching for direction in your life. You’re asking yourself, “Now what?” We all need direction and focus in our lives. I know of too many people whose work was their life. They looked forward to retirement but then did not have anything planned for afterward. Then, without a reason to make an effort every day, shortly after retirement, they passed away. In fact, there have been studies that show that people (especially men) who were more tied to their work tended to die sooner after retirement. That struck me as so sad. I don’t want that happening to anyone else. So, if you haven’t thought about a future past a specific date, it may be time to start planning your future.

Leave a legacy

If you have children and grandchildren, you may want to leave them a legacy of some ways that you’ve changed your corner of the world. Perhaps you’ll leave a legacy of service to your community – if you do volunteer work with some charities in your area. Or if you’ve done some interesting things in your past, you’ll write a book.

Create goals for your future

You know I’m big on achieving goals, right? I’ve written about how to create goals for ourselves, and then how to make sure we achieve them. The same goes for any plans you make for your future. Now, the thing is, your time is probably not as limited as it once was. If you want to write that book, create that goal! If you want to volunteer for the organizations that you care about now, set that goal for yourself. Start planning your future. Me? I chose to create businesses and work at them. But in the meantime, I have written a couple of books and taught some classes. How?

I wrote a book

When I had the idea to write a mystery novel, using the framework in the Fitness Over 50 Get It Done Guide, I set my timetable. A cozy mystery novel should be 50,000 words or more, so I set the goal of 500 – 1,000 words a day. I’m a quick typist, so I knew this was doable. I knew that I didn’t have time during the day to write, so after thinking about it, I decided to use my early awake time (when I’d been playing Spider Solitaire) more productively. Instead of waking up naturally, about an hour before my real alarm, I set a second alarm. I set up my lap desk and Bluetooth keyboard and opened a blank Google Doc. First thing – a story idea and outline. Next, characters. Then, I started writing. I set a goal to write the novel in three months. Completely doable. And the first novel is available now.

Volunteer!

If your days are more free, then go ahead and write your memoir. Volunteer. How to volunteer? First – think of the things that you’re passionate about. Then, do some research on organizations in your area. Next, give them a call or email. Most non-profit organizations love people who want to donate their time. Write your ideas down and follow up. Be sure to actually write things down so that you don’t forget. Setting your thoughts down with pen on paper reinforces the memory.

If you want to travel, make sure that you’re in shape to do all the walking that you want to do. Make fitness goals a priority. You’ll also be working on your healthy aging and your resilience. You’ll be more confident and ready to take on the world (so to speak).

Most important – start planning your future now. You’ll find happiness in fulfilling your dreams. You’ll have a sense of purpose and won’t dread the long days after retirement.

Write what you want to do

Last week I emphasized the importance of writing what you do. Adding to that, it’s important to write what you want to do. I need a memory assist, and that’s why I write what I do in my journal. I can’t remember what I had for breakfast, much less what my workout consisted of yesterday. But I also want to write down those little thoughts of the things I want to achieve.

For fitness, as an example, today I ran / walked for 20 minutes on the treadmill. My walking speed after the warmup was 4 miles per hour at 2.5 percent incline. My fastest running speed was 7.4 mph, again at 2.5 percent incline. I wrote all that on my journal page. But I also wrote that for my next run, I’d like to run at 7.5 mph. This is huge for me. After all, I’m old, my knees aren’t great, and neither are my hips. But at the end of my run, this might just be doable. Not for long, just a minute. But it’s a start.

Starting matters

And a start is just that. Running faster eventually becomes more comfortable, and then I feel lazy running at a slower pace. Most of life is like that. We pump ourselves up to do a little scary thing, like do a short live video on social media. All you extroverts may not think much of that, but it’s scary for people like me who like nothing more than staying home and reading. It’s not natural to put myself in the spotlight.

But then the little scary thing is not so scary any longer. It may not be comfortable, but eventually with practice we reach the stage of accepting it as a normal thing to do. This is true for everything we want to achieve in life. We start with a small idea. Play with it in your head. Write it down. Then expand on that small idea so that it’s something tangible and worthwhile.

Write what you want to do

So, at the same time you’re writing what you do, you can also write what you want to do. You’re making goals. And goals are essential for moving forward. Without goals, we’re stagnating. While you’re doing something, think of what you’d like to be doing in a month or six months. If I can run this fast now, I could probably run faster in a month! That’s how the process works.

And writing down those goals, even the little ones, gives you a much better chance of achieving them. 42% better, in fact, according to a psychology study performed at Dominican University in California. Write down those goals, dreams, and aspirations. And then break them down into manageable chunks that become real.

Create a fitness goal to keep you moving

It’s really easy to go through your days on autopilot. Go from one meaningless task to another, not really accomplishing much. Then all of a sudden, it’s bedtime. Time to brush your teeth and have some downtime until you do all the nothingness again tomorrow. Do you ever feel like you’re sleepwalking through your day? I emptied the dishwasher in the morning while I watched the news. And it was basically the same as yesterday’s news. I went to the grocery store yesterday. And it was basically the same items that I bought last week. Are you stuck in a rut too? I want to feel invigorated. And I don’t want to feel like I’m stuck on a treadmill. It may be time to create a fitness goal to keep you moving.

Your new fitness goal doesn’t have to be big

A new goal could inspire you to new heights, new levels of strength, faster speeds. That new goal in one aspect of your life could spark your motivation in others. And your new goal doesn’t have to be a big one. For me, I had a goal of running one tenth of a mile faster than my previous fastest speed for a minute during my treadmill session. And to do that for 4 runs. At first I couldn’t maintain that extra tenth for the whole minute. So I lowered the speed. But then after a walk interval I bumped my speed up that extra tenth again. And kept it there longer.

That new goal will move you forward in your healthy aging. And when you’re doing something positive for your health, you’re automatically happier and more motivated to keep going.

Invigorated by success!

How did that extra tenth make me feel? Invigorated. By running just that little bit faster, I felt like I was invincible. I felt stronger the rest of the day, knowing that I met a really tough (for me) benchmark. And being successful for one day kept me motivated for the rest of the challenge.

Your challenge:

So, I challenge you to create a fitness goal to keep you moving. Make sure that your goal is specific, with measurement and a timetable. Your goal also should be attainable but not too easy. Write your goal down so that you’ll have accountability, even if it’s just to yourself. I use the worksheet from the “Get It Done” Guide. I print multiple copies of the worksheet – there’s not much on that worksheet. It seems simple, but, boy, is it powerful!

So, create a fitness goal. You’ll keep moving and be empowered to tackle even more.

Get it done even with distractions

We’ve all got stuff that has to get done. And we’ve got stuff we want to get done. There are other things that it would be nice to get done. But what if there are dogs running around? Kids underfoot? You have to stir the soup or it will burn. And the phone keeps ringing. Here are 5 tips on how to get it done even with distractions.

Eliminate the distractions you can

Turn off your phone. Put it in another room. You’ve probably heard this before. But you need your phone! Yes, you need it, but you don’t need it all day every day. For the time it takes you to get the non-negotiable thing from your list done, turn it off. 20 minutes, okay?

Identify your non-negotiable thing that needs to get done

Make a list – on paper – of 3 things that need to get done today. One is absolutely non-negotiable. It has to get done today. The other 2 should be slightly less imperative. And carry this list with you. Put it in your back pocket and refer to it often. If you don’t know where to start with this exercise, download the “Get It Done” Guide and work through the list.

How will you benefit from getting these things done?

Why do you need to get those 3 things done? Will you benefit personally? Will they make your life simpler? If it’s grocery shopping, it’ll sure make getting dinner on the table easier! Or will they enrich you financially? If one of the items is a project for your work or your business, that’s a firm “Yes!” Or will one of the items make the life of a loved one better?

Ignore the distraction or deal with it

About that distraction: if it’s a call you have to take OR ELSE!, then by all means answer your phone. If it’s a friend who you need to talk to but it will wait, then message the friend and ask if you can call back later. A true friend will understand, because there are probably times when they have to get things done.

Close the door

Close the door. Or put the dogs in their crates with peanut butter-filled kongs and tell the kids you need 20 minutes of quiet time. Set your timer. You’ll be able to get it done even with distractions. Your mental toughness will carry you through this. Your resilience is improving, and you’ll face the rest of your day knowing that you accomplished something.

3 Sure-fire ways to get big goals done

Why set big goals?

It’s been all about goal-setting the last few weeks here. If you don’t have goals, then you’ll coast through life. That’s fine unless you want to accomplish anything. If you have dreams about your home, your family, your finances, then you need goals. But why set big goals? Aren’t small ones good?

Small goals are good

Of course, small goals are good. They’re what gets us through the day. The small goal of spending 2 minutes training my dog is better than not training him. Or sitting straight in my chair for 2 minutes rather than slumping is good for my posture and my spine. Planning what to make for dinner is certainly a laudable goal.

But big goals turn the world

All of the small goals mentioned above could be part of much bigger goals that could help you achieve more. That’s why we set big goals. Setting small, intermediate goals get our big goals done.

For example, if I train my dog for 2 minutes every single day, then at the end of a week we’ll have the foundations of a remarkable trick. After a couple weeks of training just 2 minutes a day, he’ll know how to retrieve something. At the end of a month I can think about training more behaviors to enter a competition.

If I sit straight in my chair for 2 straight minutes 3 times a day, my core will be more stabilized. I’ll be walking better. And my balance will improve. I’ll be breathing better, too.

And if I plan dinners for the family a few days in advance, I can plan my shopping to include more nutritious options. We’ll be healthier and perhaps lose some weight.

Big goals are more achievable

When we set big goals and approach them the “SMART” way, they have a better chance of being achieved. Not only that, but Edwin Locke’s famous theory argues that the more challenging the goal, we work harder to achieve it.

SMART goals

That is, in order to have a reasonable chance of success in achieving a goal, it must be Specific, Measurable, Assignable (or Acceptable), Realistic, and Time-based. And studies by Locke and associates have actually found that the more challenging the goal, within reason, the better the chance of succeeding.

Big goals build self-confidence

We need to be working toward meaningful goals. And writing them down helps provide us with a sense of direction and purpose. Plus, the more achievable but stretch-worthy goals we work toward, the more likely we are to build self-confidence, resilience and happiness. All attributes worth striving for.

So, why set big goals? We need those big goals to move forward in life with assurance and optimism.