Take a step back and things will get done

Feeling blah but overwhelmed?

Exercise helps me release stress.
If I’m going to tackle my to-do list, I need a workout.

Are you you feeling blah but still have a multitude of things on your list that have to get done? Then take a step back. If your to-do list has gotten out of control, it’s time to take a step back to reassess. Figure out if everything on there is really necessary. If you’ve just been adding to your list without evaluating the items on it, it’s probably time for a to-do list overhaul.

If you’re feeling stressed about everything you have to do, perhaps the first thing is to release some stress with an intense workout. I always find that I’m better able to focus after I’ve exercised.

Lists are good

I’m a firm advocate of lists. The more lists I have, the happier I am. My Google Keep screen is my happy place. That’s where I store all my notes and lists. If something is on a list, I don’t have to remember it. As I’m getting older, I find that every little bit helps. Every few days, though, I revisit the lists and see if I can delete anything – if my priorities have shifted or if I’ve done things without crossing them off my list.

Although crossing things off a list is one of the best feelings in the world. Plus, the act of crossing items off your to-do list is a stress reducer too.

To-do list overload? Take a step back to reassess

If your to-do list is overwhelming, take 15 – 20 minutes and redo it. Take a step back and go through your to-do list to make it more manageable. Take a look at your existing list and copy to your new list the things that are still important to you to get done. If your situation has changed, don’t hesitate to leave things off your new list. Once you’ve finished copying old items, put them in priority order. (Crucial, Important, Nice and Can Wait.) Then add any new items with their priorities noted. Put your new “Crucial” items at the top of yet another new list, and follow with your other items. If you’ve copied “Crucial” items from your old list, time to reassess: chances are they’re not that “crucial” after all.

Now, every day identify 3 or 4 crucial items to get done and perhaps a couple more things you’d like to see off your list.

So, to move forward toward your goals, take a step back to reassess the things on your to-do list. Make sure that the items on your list actually move you closer to your goals.

When you really, really want something

When you really, really want something - like the stuffing - don't deprive yourself.
When you really, really want something – like the stuffing (or dressing) – don’t deprive yourself.

Yesterday was Thanksgiving Day here in the US. Happy Thanksgiving to my readers! I am truly thankful for you! Traditionally it’s a day of football, eating until you’re too stuffed to eat any more, and then collapsing in a turkey coma on the couch. As I wrote last week, Thanksgiving for me is truly a day of gratitude for family and friends, and food. Ours was a very small celebration yesterday – just two of us. But we had all of our Thanksgiving favorites – turkey, dressing (it’s dressing not stuffing because we don’t stuff the bird!), cranberry relish and brussels sprouts (yes, we love our sprouts!). And dessert. And I had everything. Because when you really, really want something, it’s perfectly OK to have it.

Everything in moderation

I’ve written about my “everything in moderation” philosophy. I never deprive myself. If I really, really want something, I have it. Perhaps just a little bit of it, but enough to satisfy the craving.

I love our stuffing – or dressing. It’s really a savory bread pudding with minimal herbs and spices. We salt and saute a few pounds of onions and a whole head of celery in vegetable oil until they’re nicely browned and caramelized (this takes a while). We mash a loaf of stale (or lightly toasted) egg bread with a few eggs and a quart of warm milk. Add a little more salt, mix everything together, turn it into a casserole sprayed generously with cooking spray and bake it for a few hours, stirring to get the maximum amount of crustiness every half hour or so. I’m making myself hungry writing about it.

I don’t skimp

When dinner time comes around, I give myself a regular sized portion. When I finish that, if I really, really want more, I give myself another spoon. It’s Thanksgiving, after all. 

I don’t feel guilty about it. I don’t second guess myself. I know there are lots of calories in it. But it’s worth it to me to work out extra the next few days.

Because if I didn’t have exactly what I wanted, I’d think about it. I’d mope about it. I’d overeat in another way. I’m doing myself a favor in eating exactly what I want.

Food, family and gratitude

Next week is Thanksgiving here in the US. It’s one of my favorite holidays of the year, because it’s all about food, family, and gratitude.

Finally in person

Food, family and gratitude all lead to greater optimism and resilience.
Family gives me the warm fuzzies.

During the pandemic isolation we’ve tried to keep in touch with loved ones, but there’s nothing like seeing the people we love in person. After a long 18 months, my sister and I were able to get together with cousins last month for a wonderful afternoon. Being able to give a vaccinated-safe hug was probably the best feeling I’ve had in a long while. A cousin flew into town from the East coast and she probably won’t be able to make it for Thanksgiving, so that October afternoon get-together was our Thanksgiving. 

We shared laughter and recipes. And we commiserated with our cousin’s little boy who got sick from too many sweets (given by his doting Grandma in the morning). We talked about old family stories, and shared some new ones. It was a relatively small gathering, but my sister and I were overjoyed to be with any family.

Warm, fuzzy feelings

The food was great, but that afternoon its importance was diminished by the warm feeling of being surrounded by family. We don’t live very close to family any more – the closest is an hour or more from us. So the opportunity to get together in person on a Sunday afternoon was not to be missed.

Both my sister and I were unspeakably happy to see family. And we were grateful to be able to do so safely. We definitely had warm fuzzy feelings that day. And remembering that sunny afternoon continues to bring happiness and gratitude.

Gratitude => Happiness => Optimism => Resilience

And when we’re happy and grateful for what we have, optimism naturally follows. When we’re optimistic, we look to the future rather than the past. And being able to look optimistically to the future builds our resilience. With resilience comes motivation to meet our goals.

With food, family and gratitude, we can accomplish anything.

Everyone has their own stuff

Everyone has their own stuff, so they don't care what I'm doing now.
Even if anyone is watching, they don’t care. Everyone has their own stuff

It doesn’t matter what anyone else is doing. Really. Everyone has their own stuff that they’re going through. And you probably don’t enter into the equation. As I’m writing this, today has been a frustrating day. Internet issues, financial institution frustrations, dog training problems. It seems like most things that can go wrong have. I work with my sister – our desks face each other. Our monitors are back to back. I’m having my issues and she’s having hers.

The important things get done

Sometimes I’m a little hesitant to work on certain things during the business day because they don’t contribute to our shared businesses. It doesn’t matter that I’ve done the tasks on those businesses that I’ve set out to do for the day, I’m still hesitant. Stupid, but there you are.

She knows, though. And, you know what? It doesn’t matter. There will always be more to do. Today? The crucial tasks are completed. Tomorrow is another day for the rest of the stuff.

She’s got her own stuff

My sister doesn’t care. She’s got her own stuff to deal with. 

And if I’m focused on what others are thinking about me, I’m not getting anything productive done. Nothing on that to-do list is getting checked off. That article is not getting written. The website changes I wanted to make are not getting done. I need to focus on what’s in front of me.

They don’t care

Just like exercising – if you’re at a gym, no one is watching you. Just about everyone feels self-conscious in their workout gear, even though some will never admit it. Everyone thinks that they look stupid doing some of the exercises. A while ago I wrote about this: “No one is watching” And it holds true for most areas of life.

People, unless they actively ask you to participate in it, are so busy with their own activities that they are not paying attention to others.

They don’t care what you’re doing. What video you’re watching. If you’re listening to a business podcast or a steamy romance audiobook. Unless they ask you a question and expect you to focus on them, they don’t care that much at the moment.

It’s natural that we care what others think

Of course, in the larger scheme of things, it’s totally natural that you care about what others think of you. People are social creatures. We want to be with others, and we want others to want to be with us. It follows that in order for others to want to be with us they care about us in some fashion, so we want others to think well of us. We want to do everything we can to foster our relationships and not alienate anyone.

But for the tiny minutiae of everyday life, no one cares that you’re watching a YouTube video and not doing a crossword puzzle. 

So stop wasting time. Get the important stuff (or the distasteful stuff) done first and then figure out what’s important to you. Decide on the steps you need to take to get there, and do it. If today the thing that’s important to you is regaining your focus, go exercise (because exercise really does increase focus), decide on a plan and get to work.

Exercise with limited mobility

How can I exercise with limited mobility? My right wrist took the brunt of a fall.
My right wrist got the brunt of a fall

I took a tumble not quite 2 weeks ago and injured my right arm. My wrist got the worst of it – it’s still giving me trouble. So much so that I can’t put much weight on it and it hurts to bend it sometimes. So – how to exercise with limited mobility?

Not even a plank

As you know, my favorite form of exercise combines strength and cardio. But such exercise with limited mobility is practically impossible. Body weight strength exercises are great, but a plank is out of the question for me.

To not exercise is also out of the question. It’s such a habit for me that if I’m home and not doing anything else at the time I usually exercise, the guilt is practically overwhelming. So the last few days I’ve been exercising without weights and with limited arm involvement. I know that when my arm is better, I’ll have a lot of catching up to do, but I’m grateful the injury isn’t worse.

So what exercise to do?

So, what exercise have I been doing with my arm out of commission? I’ve been cardio-bingeing. I’ve been doing my walk / run on the treadmill. And I’ve rediscovered the fun of step aerobics. I talked about doing step aerobics as a great stress-reducer a while ago, but it really is a super workout. Even with the risers lower than I used to have them, the sweat was dripping off my face.

Others deal with limited mobility

My injury made me think about how others exercise with limited mobility. If (heaven forbid) my wrist injury became more permanent, I would certainly investigate the possibility of swimming in my area. Swimming is a great, non-weight-bearing cardio exercise with other benefits as well. Walking outside is certainly another possibility. If the weather warms up again here and I’m still recovering, I may take to the greenway path nearby. And I may queue up some favorite songs and dance.

Limited mobility is no excuse to not exercise

The US Centers for Disease Control (CDC) recommends that everyone, at any age, have physical activity to maintain their good health. In fact, all adults, with or without disabilities, according to the CDC’s Guidelines should get at least 150 minutes (2.5 hours) of aerobic physical activity per week. However, the CDC has found that less than half of those with disabilities and limited mobility engage in aerobic physical activity. They’ve put together a resource for those with limited mobility to get ideas for getting the activity they need.

I’ve certainly gained new respect for people who stay motivated to exercise with limited mobility. It takes extra gumption to find ways to stay as active as they need to be, given the barriers society puts in their way.

Your workout may be easier with a friend

Your workout may be easier with a friend to cheer you on.
Working out with a friend makes it easier.

Your workout may be easier with a friend. After all, you’ll be sharing the misery. What’s that old saying – “Misery loves company?” Is that because if it’s shared it doesn’t feel like torture? Or because you can laugh at each other’s funny faces as you grimace through the hard parts? 

You’re doing the work

Exercise, unless you’re doing specific pairs exercises, though, is a solitary endeavor. When you run, it’s your legs doing the work. Not someone else’s. It’s you who is lifting that heavy weight. You’re the one who is struggling to stay on her feet as you near the finish line. And you are the only one responsible for your success – or your failure.

A friend’s motivation can help

But a friend can really keep you motivated on your fitness journey. It’s not easy at the best of times to stay on the straight and narrow path of an exercise program. Someone to talk to, to commiserate with, can help you stick with your plan. You may hate the same exercises, and dread when a certain yoga pose is coming up in the flow. And you can agree that the best part of a workout is the final stretch and cool-down.

You don’t even have to be together

But in these days of pandemic separation, how do you exercise with a friend? Many gyms have closed. You’re nervous about being out of breath with a mask on. You don’t even want to be close to other people. 

To get the support of a friend, though, you don’t actually have to exercise together or even do the same workout. You can both exercise and then arrange to get on a Zoom or Facetime call at a specific time to talk about your respective workouts. That might even be more fun than exercising together – because it’s really hard to talk if your workout is effective! You’ll have the accountability we all need to stick to an exercise program. And it’s fun to complain with someone who knows exactly what you’re experiencing.

Important for support and accountability

I wrote about the importance of having your friends and family support your healthy lifestyle plan a while ago. It’s still important to have that support and accountability. Your friends and family are your support system, which we all need to be happy and resilient these days. Yes, it’s possible to go it alone. You can stick to any plan you design. But it’s easier with others.

Self-care is more than a tag line

“Fitness” is not just exercise

What comes to mind when you think “fitness?” I’ll bet one thing you don’t think of is self-care. But self-care is more than a tag line and it’s crucial for our fitness. I don’t mean dental floss or moisturizer, although they’re certainly important for our health and well-being.

The self-care I’m referring to is taking care of our mental health. Taking time to care for ourselves when the world is crazy around us is essential for keeping our equilibrium. 

Self-care can be as simple as closing your eyes

If you're feeling anxious and stressed, meditation could help. Meditation can be an integral part of your self-care.

Self-care can be as simple as just taking a few minutes away from others, screens, phones and other intrusions. Or just closing your eyes and breathing for a few seconds between phone calls or meetings can help to clear your mind.

A brief meditation session can also calm you. If you don’t usually practice meditation, then a guided meditation is helpful. You can download my complementary “Garden Walk” meditation now. Opening your eyes after meditating is like waking up from a restful snooze.

Reset your thoughts to focus

This brief interlude can reset your thoughts, making it easier for you to focus on the next task. Or it can help you to distance yourself a little from troublesome news and the ever-present clatter of today’s world.

And if you’ve had a really long awful, troublesome day filled with terrible news and cranky people, take a little longer to center yourself. Tell the family, “I need a while. I’ll be back in a half hour.” They should be able to respect your needs to give you the time you need, just as you would give them time.


“Self-care” is more than a fad. It’s an essential part of fitness.

This all qualifies as “self-care.” It’s more than a fad. Self-care is more than a tag line or slogan. It’s essential for staying sane in these crazy times.

Too often we’re met with people in bad moods these days. It’s important that we not follow their lead and let them turn our mood downward, easy as it is to do. I wrote of this before, and it’s still appropriate.) When we follow the harder path, of optimism and growth, by caring for ourselves a little more, we grow our optimism and our resilience.

If you miss a day or two

You’re a few weeks into your new, “healthy you” plan and things are going fine. You have good days and days that it’s a struggle, but you’re making it through. You’ve been sweating up a storm but eating (mostly) right. But you’re starting to wonder, what happens if you miss a day or two. You may have a trip planned and you don’t know if you’ll be able to do your workouts. And if you’re on someone else’s timetable, you don’t know what the meal situation is going to be like. You’re worried that if you miss some time that your plan will be completely undone.

First, take a breath and celebrate

First, take a minute and celebrate your successes! It’s not easy sticking with a healthy plan for a few days, much less a few weeks. And you’ve done it! You’ve stuck with it! You should be incredibly proud of yourself.

But if you miss a couple of days

But that trip is coming up, and you’re concerned. Know that if you miss a day or two, it’s not the end of the road. You may eat things that aren’t on your meal plan. You may miss a few workouts. But you can’t plan your entire life around your workouts. Things happen.

It’s OK. The world will not end.

It’s OK if you miss a day or two. Or even more than that. The world will not end, and you’ll be fine.

The key is to get back on the plan as quickly as you can. And while you may not be able to completely stick with your meal plan while you’re away or your schedule is disrupted, try to eat as sensibly as you can. Don’t think to yourself, “I can’t do my plan, and I don’t want to be impolite and ask for separate food, so that’s it. I’m done.”

Eat sensibly and move!

No. Eat as sensibly as you can. Try to limit high-fat and high-sugar items. Say, “Thank you, but no” to all the sweets your host offers you. (Or just have one of your absolute favorites.) Stick as closely to your own meal plan as possible without being rude.

And get what exercise you can. Suggest walks outside. If you’re staying at a hotel, check out the fitness center. 

Back to normal

You may not want to go all out when you get back to your routine after you miss a day or two.

When you get back to your normal routine, assess where you are. Get back to your healthy eating plan as quickly as possible. You may have gained a couple of pounds, but they’ll come off when you’re back to your plan.

And you may want to ease back into your exercise program a little more slowly. If you miss a day or two, you probably won’t lose momentum. But more than that and if you go back to full exertion, you could be sore for a couple of days. So, modify the intensity a bit for the first few days. And if your muscles are sore the next day, it’s normal. Follow these suggestions to feel better – Drink more, stay active and don’t sit too long. And remember that the sooner you get back to your routine, the easier it will be.

You’ll get back to your fitness routine in no time! You’ll be improving your health and increasing your resilience. There’s no need to quit if you miss a day or two in your fitness journey – you’re just taking a little break.

Maintaining Your Motivation

You’ve been eating right and exercising for a few weeks now. Congratulations! It’s been going pretty well. You’re hanging in there. But every once in a while that muffin looks better than what you planned for breakfast. Or your co-workers are going to your favorite sandwich shop for lunch. And there’s that piece of cake left over from your significant other’s birthday. Maintaining your motivation through all the temptations is really hard.

And it doesn’t get easier.

Five Keys to Maintaining your Motivation

So, how do you maintain your motivation? How do you stick to the plan? These five methods help me maintain a healthy lifestyle every day.

1. Take Each Day as it Comes

One day at a time – Today is the only day that matters in your “healthier you” plan. Yesterday is gone. No matter how “good” you were yesterday (and congratulations for that!), it doesn’t matter today. Keep that date you set up for yourself today in your calendar. (You’re doing that, right? A few weeks ago we talked about forming healthy habits, and a key point was making that recurring appointment with yourself on every day you wanted to exercise.) Make every food decision count especially on days that eating right is a challenge. For every meal you prepare, ask yourself if it’s a good choice for you.

2. Just Get Going

The final stretch with my dog. Just do it, don't agonize over working out. That's maintaining your motivation.

Don’t think too much about your workout preparation – On days that you really don’t want to exercise, just do it. Shake yourself mentally and don’t think about the things you’d rather be doing (like watching TV, reading a book, lying on the couch). Just change into your workout gear and start to exercise. Promise yourself you’ll do 10 minutes of your workout. Before you know it, you’ll be cooling down and looking forward to that final stretch.

3. Reflection

Reflect on how far you’ve come. Just a couple of weeks ago you knew you should start an exercise program and healthy eating plan but were confused about how to start and what to do. And now you’re crushing it! A great way to keep going is to put these reflections in a journal. (Check out my Gratitude and Happiness Journal on Amazon.) Every day, think about what you’re happy you’ve accomplished and write it down. When you go back and read these reflections, you can’t help but feel motivated to carry on. (Writing these thoughts down will also give you a great sense of gratitude, and we know that happiness follows gratitude, and resilience follows happiness and optimism!)

4. Visualize

Visualize yourself maintaining your motivation. Picture yourself eating a plate of vibrant greens with your family and enjoying it! Better yet – you’re all eating that wonderful salad and loving it. Feel how you’d like to be, at the place you enjoy the most, with the people you love most. Picture yourself at a party, enjoying yourself, holding a glass (a champagne flute?) of sparkling water. I can’t tell you to picture yourself exercising and loving it, because I can’t do that myself. But I do it so that the other pictures can become realities.

5. Your “Why”

Your reason for sticking to your plan. Finally, and probably the easiest way of maintaining your motivation – remember your reason for starting in the first place. Whether your reason is for your family or for your own future, remember that. You’re eating right and exercising to lower your blood pressure, to improve your cardiac conditioning, to improve your cognition and memory. 

These five methods will keep you on the straight and narrow. Maintaining your motivation will be easy.

The other piece of the puzzle for weight loss

If you’re serious about wanting to lose weight, exercise is important. Exercise is more important for lowering blood pressure and reducing your risk of certain diseases. It’s also important for building strength and bone mass. What you eat is the more important piece of the puzzle for weight loss. 

The formula for losing weight is simple: consume fewer calories than you use. The number of calories that you use exercising can be large, but not nearly as large as it needs to be in order for you to lose pounds. Even the Mayo Clinic says that diet is more important than exercise when it comes to losing weight.

Diet is a 4-letter word

What you eat is most important in the weight loss puzzle

Yes, diet is a nasty word. But it’s also what we consume every day. Our diet is just that – what we eat. The word is neither good nor bad. It’s just a word. What can be good or bad are the foods that make up our diet. 

You’ve heard the “experts” promoting the “South Beach Diet,” the “Atkins Diet,” the “Mediterranean Diet,” “Keto,” gluten-free diet, Pescatarian diet, Intermittent Fasting – the list is endless. What works for one person may not work for you. 

What does work

Change your mindset: Stop thinking of “diet” as a bad thing. My own diet includes lots of really “healthy food,” but also ice cream, bread and donuts. None of these are bad themselves. What is “bad” is when you overload your diet with processed foods high in sugar and fat. My motto: (like Benjamin Franklin) “Everything in moderation.”

So, if you’re really serious about losing weight, do some research about food plans. What’s included, what’s not included, the long-term prospects of sticking with it. Figure out what appeals to you. Try it for a few weeks. See if it works, and if you can live with it. If you need to modify the plan – it’s your body. Do what’s right for you. Keep a food journal – write down every morsel of food that goes in your mouth. Be religious about this. You probably don’t realize everything you eat. And that can sabotage your results. 

Losing weight is hard, but the more you know about what it takes to lose weight and be healthy, the better your chances of success.