Guilt about money

Guilt in spending on yourself

Do you feel guilty about spending money on yourself? I’m not talking about spending money on frivolous things, like a costume jewelry bracelet. (Really, who needs a costume jewelry bracelet? Unless, of course, your business is researching costume jewelry.)

I’m talking about an exercise program. Or a pair of leggings. Or a pair of running shoes. Or fresh greens.

Yes, funds are limited. But after all the vital stuff is taken care of – mortgage or rent, utilities, insurance – the rest is discretionary.

Guilt about groceries

We all have to eat, and food is a major part of the budget. But after the staples, like milk, eggs, toilet paper, paper towels, you’ve got to figure out where your food budget does the most good. You might as well get the healthiest food you can with your limited dollars. (I’m not talking about organic food – it has not been proven that organic is substantially healthier than non-organic food. I wash my fruit and vegetable carefully – I don’t usually buy organic produce.) It has been proven that fresh fruits and veggies are good for you.

Produce is also cheaper when it’s in season. It’s June now, so grapes and other soft fruit is getting cheaper. Tomatoes are cheaper now, and so are some greens. In-season produce is also tastier!

So, it pays to buy fresh – you’ll be healthier! And so will your family. Another guilt factor – do you feel guilty about feeding your family your “rabbit food?” It’s natural to feed your family the food that you’re cooking for yourself. You wouldn’t be eating it if it wasn’t tasty, well-balanced and well-seasoned. Ask them how they feel about the meals you’re serving. Chances are they’re enjoying the freshness as well. Don’t be surprised if you need to see your doctor less. You’re getting healthier.

Guilt about personal items

So, after you’ve spent on the necessities, you feel guilty about spending money on personal items? Get over it. You’ve budgeted for your family. Now it’s time to take care of you. Your workout shoes are worn? Time for a new pair. They’re less expensive than a trip to the emergency room after you’ve injured yourself.

You feel guilty about spending on a new pair of leggings? By now you’ve trained yourself not to reward yourself with food. So after a few successful months of working out and eating right – you deserve those new leggings (or T-shirt, or yoga mat).

Guilt is not helpful. A budget is.

A first look at guilt

Guilt and exercise / or not exercising

I’ve been thinking about guilt lately, specifically how it relates to exercise.

Are you torn between your guilt about exercising and not exercising. Spending time working out or with family? Do feel like your brain is on the treadmill even when you’re not?

Have you felt guilty about not exercising?

Or guilty about exercising when you could be doing something for your family?

I’m here to tell you to get over it!

If you’re doing something productive –

If you feel guilty about not exercising – are you doing something else that’s worthwhile? Are you working? Earning a living? Helping your family with something? If you’re engaged in an activity that’s productive, then you can work out another time. Schedule it! Put it in your calendar! (One that you actually refer to on a regular basis.)

If you’re not doing something else worthwhile, then you should feel guilty, so get up and move!

Seriously, though, you’re probably spending more time and energy feeling guilty than you would if you’d stick in a DVD and did a workout. You’ll feel terrific afterward – virtuous and healthy!

Are you exercising when you should be doing something else?

Are there really important things that you should be doing when you’re working out? Or are they just things to get to … some time?

If they’re the really important things, go do that and, again, schedule a workout.

Now, only you can determine if those things you’re thinking about are “really important things” that should be done now, or if they can wait.

The key, it seems, is to prioritize tasks. And then use your calendar so you’re sure not to forget the specific tasks that you need to get done.

But don’t leave out exercise!

If you’re feeling guilty about spending time on yourself when you could be doing other things for family, friends, or work, then don’t.

By spending a little time (as little as 30 minutes a day 4-5 times a week) on yourself exercising, you’ll be gaining a healthier you. A you that will be around longer for your family. A you that can spend the quality time with your family that they deserve. And a you that will be more productive at work.

So stop feeling guilty. Write down and prioritize the things you need to do.

Why would we want to prevent pain?

“It’s easier to prevent pain than to squelch pain. Literally and figuratively. “

Gretchen Rubin, author of The Happiness Project, posited this as a rule for life that happy people know. It’s true. I’ve thought about it a lot on the physical side – how to prevent injury, and how to deal with an injury.

And, if at all possible, it’s a whole lot easier to prevent an injury. Make sure you stretch properly. Drink plenty of water. Warm up slowly. Challenge yourself, but don’t push when you shouldn’t be pushing! And take the time to do a proper cooldown.

I practice this all the time, both with my workout DVD programs, and when I run on the treadmill. Even though my DVDs have warmup periods, I try to do a little before I even turn on the machine – I’m old… I need more of a warmup. And for the most part I’ve been successful at avoiding injury. Sure, I feel my muscles if I try something new and sore muscles are part of the fitness journey. But that’s not an injury. It won’t cause long-lasting effects.

But how about emotional pain?

Do we want to prevent emotional pain? Do we lock ourselves away so that we prevent the pain of someone letting us down, or of separation? I don’t think so.

Emotional pain is part of being human.

You know that old saying, “It’s better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all?” I think that’s true. If you don’t put yourself out there to be loved and to love someone, that’s quite a lonely existence.

We need each other! That’s part of being human too. Sure, we have to be smart about which relationships we pour ourselves into – don’t fall for a married guy… Or a gay guy… But, we need human interactions. Form friendships wherever you can. Do nice things for people. Put yourself out there. That’s how you feel human and engaged, and fulfilled.

Stay in your rut!

We love routine! I think we’re all happiest when we have a schedule that we can stick with. I know I am.

Get up at (pretty much) the same time everyday.

Eat meals at (pretty much) the same time.

Go to (pretty much) the same place every day.

Exercise at (pretty much) the same time every day, or as my schedule dictates.

Go to bed at the same time every day.

Until something happens to disrupt the schedule.

Like an injury.

Then it’s a major obstacle to do regular things. Even getting out of bed can be a chore.

Making meals for myself and the dogs takes twice as long as it should.

Walking to and getting in the car? Agony.

That’s what happened to me the last few days. Yes, things were not easy. Routine things took twice as long as usual – or longer.

But, the closer I came to sticking with my regular schedule, the happier I felt. The closer I felt to being on track.

Of course, the workouts were not my usual workouts, because I physically could not do the exercises I wanted to.

But I made sure that I did a workout.

Meals? It was more important than ever to eat right. Eating healthy is one of the best ways to stay on the fitness track.

And getting up to get water kept me moving. To the water jug (and the bathroom). If you can, and if it’s in alignment with your doctor’s or your PT’s orders, keep moving. As I said earlier in the week, movement will get you back to normal quicker than sitting on the couch will.

And the more in line with my regular schedule I was, the closer I was to feeling more normal.

So, stay in your rut as much as you can. If something throws a monkey wrench into the works, work around it.

So, after an injury – Eat right. Drink plenty of water. And move!

Bored with your workout?

Are you bored with doing the same kind of workout day after day? You know that I’m not a fan of working out. I do it because I want to do other active things. And the workouts that I do are short, so I’m not getting bored during the workout. I switch off between a couple of workout programs. 21 Day Fix and 21 Day Fix Extreme are incredibly effective. And PiYo is great for getting strong and lean. But that still doesn’t mean that I don’t get tired of doing the same programs.

So I switch it up. Every couple of months I’ll do a week of yoga. I love yoga – nothing gives me the sense of peace and calm as a good yoga practice. Or leaves me feeling at one with my body. Or I’ll do a week of Pilates. I don’t love it as much as yoga, but it still gives me that strengthening and stretching I need. Or I’ll do a couple of days in a week on the treadmill. I really hate running (more than other workouts!), but I enjoy competing with my dog in agility. He’s a fast little dog, so I need more speed and endurance.

And then after I have my switch-off days, I’ll go back to my old standards and enjoy them more. I’ll do the plyometric workout in the 21 Day Fix Extreme program and realize again that jumping the right way is really not bad for my knees. Or I’ll do the “Drench” workout in PiYo and remember that I really do love the flow sequence.

So, when you start to dread your workouts (even more than usual), switch it up for a week. Do a different program for a while. You’ll engage your brain, which is always good. And you’ll also be cross-training, confusing your muscles, which makes your workouts more effective.

Snacking is inevitable …

I’ve written about snacks before. About how snacks should be avoided if at all possible.

And I’m still usually a non-snacker. I don’t think snacking is a good thing, as a rule. Especially mindless snacking. Shoving fistful after fistful of anything in your mouth without thinking about it is bad. I think that’s inarguable. Agree?

BUT – I’ve come to believe that snacking is inevitable. It will happen. And snacks can be part of a healthy lifestyle.

So, be prepared for it!

In your refrigerator, have carrot or celery sticks (or both) front and center. Have grapes and apples all washed and ready to eat. Have snack bags of almonds ready to grab. In fact, I usually have a baggie of almonds with me – just in case!

That way, when the munchies hit, you’ll be ready.

By all means, think about what you’re doing, though. When a snack craving hits, ask yourself if you’re really hungry or are you bored? If you’re bored, go for a walk. Dance to a tune. Play with your dog. Clean up your junk drawer.

If you’re hungry, have a drink of water first before you hit the snacks. Many times you’re thirsty and don’t realize it. It’s easy to become dehydrated if you don’t have water readily available. So take a drink. Have a water bottle or a glass of water by your side all the time.

Then wait about ten minutes – do something else and don’t think about a snack.

If you decide, after those ten minutes, that you really are hungry, by all means go get a snack. And don’t feel guilty about it!

This last Saturday, I did all those things and decided that I really was hungry mid-afternoon. So I ate a fun-size Snickers bar. I was really craving junk food. I drank some water. I took the dogs out. I read a chapter of my book. And I still wanted that candy bar. So I ate it! And, at only 80 calories, it was a good snack! It satisfied my hunger, it had some protein, chocolate and was delicious!

Add These Things to Your Life to Become Healthier

You know me – whatever I do, my goal is to get healthier!

Here are some easy things to add to your life to add to that healthy bucket:

Water! Drink more water. No one (well, hardly anyone) drinks enough water. When you’re hydrated, you feel better. It’s easier to say no to some favorite cheat foods – you’ll feel more full, so you won’t want to eat as much junk. If you’re hydrated, you’ll get fewer headaches. This is true – I’ve felt a headache coming on, and then realized that I was thirsty. I drank some water and the incipient headache went away! Staying hydrated helps your skin look good, too. And it helps to keep your internal systems operating at peak efficiency.

Veggies! Eat more vegetables! I talked about this earlier in the week. Veggies add fiber, vitamins, minerals, nutrients and lots of volume with fewer calories. In fact, there’s a report of one woman adding just one green to every meal and losing over 100 pounds! You may not have 100 pounds to lose, but adding more greens is nothing but healthy!

Movement! Add more movement to your life! Park farther from the store and walk – more steps! Don’t circle the parking lot close to the store for an empty spot. Park further away – you’ll save gas and increase your movement! Take the stairs instead of the elevator for a floor or two. Little things like this add up to big wins. You’ll be stronger, your knees will feel better and so will your back! Or when a great song comes on the radio, dance! If you’re in your car, move your shoulders, boogie and sing along! It’ll make you happier. And who cares what anyone in the car next to you is thinking?

These are easy things you can add every day to make your life healthier. And these are easy things to maintain in your life! Fill up that water glass! Eat another green! And move!

Investments

Lately I’ve been talking a little bit about convincing yourself to exercise or make it more interesting, or about making your diet healthier.

Why? We’ve each got just one life. It’s up to each of us to make our own lives better.

Do the things we want to do. Go places we want to go. Be the person we want to feel good about.

We’ve got to invest in ourselves first.

That may sound selfish, but it’s really the best donation to the human race we can make.

If each of us gets our own life in order, think how much we can serve others! If we feel good about ourselves, we’re more likely to help others feel good about themselves!

And it’s not just about exercise and nutrition!

Putting my closet in order, getting rid of clothes I haven’t worn in years and donating them will help others get clothes to keep them warm. (Not necessarily fashionable, but warm!) I’ll get more space and, rather than filling it up with more stuff, I’ll fill that space with calmness.

When you clean off a table, that clear space just makes you feel more open, calm and accepting. You’re motivated to keep it clear (at least for a little while).

When you clean a room, don’t you just breathe deeper? That, too, evokes a sense of calm and peacefulness.

And getting back to exercise and nutrition – when you feel good about yourself, you have a tendency to be nicer, kinder, more patient with others, more accepting of others’ foibles. You feel good knowing that you’ll be around for your family. You can help friends when they need it. You’ll be able to do things you want to do.

So, by investing in yourself – in that exercise and nutrition program, you’re investing not just in you, but in your family and friends as well.

Take a look around you

All too often we live on autopilot. We wake up at the same time every morning, have the same routine as we get ready for our day, eat the same thing for breakfast (mostly), go to the same places every day and we don’t pay attention to the world around us.

We listen to the same news on the radio, the same songs, drive the same route.

Our minds are always busy. Busy with lists of things we have to do, chores we have to do, tasks we have to accomplish, groceries we have to buy. Busy with thoughts of work, politics, the weather, the latest news stories, the latest text from your spouse or kid.

As we drive, do we really pay attention to what’s around us? Quick, now – what’s the color of the building on the next block?

I thought so…

All too often we’re so inside our thoughts that we don’t pay attention to the world. Yes, there are problems out there and some not-nice people, but over all the world is a beautiful place.

I’m happier when I stop a couple times a day and just look at the sky. Or the plants (in the winter, the shapes the bare branches make, or the snow on them). And if I can, sometimes I’ll just talk to a person about nothing in particular to find out what they’re thinking. (Not very often, though, because I’m an introvert – working on that!)

Be mindful of what you’re doing. Pay attention to where you put your keys, how your fold your clothes, the colors in your closet or drawers. Look at the world around you. There are beautiful things out there. Even a sunrise or sunset through the electric wires can be pretty. A bird flying overhead.

You’ll feel calmer, more at peace, and better able to handle the chaos of modern life.

 

Better than a crunch

Whatever my workout of the day is, I always make sure that it includes abdominal work. There are a couple of reasons for this:

  1. I want to minimize my middle! If there’s one thing I really dislike, it’s my midriff hanging over my waistband. To me, it’s sloppy. And, to me, it’s uncomfortable.
  2. More importantly, I want my core to be as strong as possible to support my back. Back pain is debilitating, and I don’t want to experience it again! Having back pain makes everything harder. Even work done while sitting is harder! Sitting is painful, and while lying down might be easy, you’ve got to get up sometime!

So, I always incorporate ab work into my workouts. If it’s not part of a video I’m doing, I’ll do some on my own.

Crunches are effective, done the right way, but they can be tedious. And form must be spot-on! So I try to look for variations in ab exercises.

The plank is a great all-around exercise. It targets the core, the arms, and the legs. And there are a zillion variations that you can do.

I also try to practice my balance every day. (Have you gotten my free download yet? A Week of Balance! – get yours up and to the right!)

So, here’s a plank variation combining abs and balance. Just lift your opposite arm and leg and hold. Make sure your stomach is in, your back is flat, your hand is directly under your shoulder and you have equal weight on your hand and foot.

If that’s hard, start on your knees.  You can also start by just lifting your leg or your arm, not both. As before, make sure your stomach is in, your back is flat and your hand directly under your shoulder. (And, of course, it always helps when your dog helps! That’s Booker’s rear end in the photo.)