Guilt about money

Guilt in spending on yourself

Do you feel guilty about spending money on yourself? I’m not talking about spending money on frivolous things, like a costume jewelry bracelet. (Really, who needs a costume jewelry bracelet? Unless, of course, your business is researching costume jewelry.)

I’m talking about an exercise program. Or a pair of leggings. Or a pair of running shoes. Or fresh greens.

Yes, funds are limited. But after all the vital stuff is taken care of – mortgage or rent, utilities, insurance – the rest is discretionary.

Guilt about groceries

We all have to eat, and food is a major part of the budget. But after the staples, like milk, eggs, toilet paper, paper towels, you’ve got to figure out where your food budget does the most good. You might as well get the healthiest food you can with your limited dollars. (I’m not talking about organic food – it has not been proven that organic is substantially healthier than non-organic food. I wash my fruit and vegetable carefully – I don’t usually buy organic produce.) It has been proven that fresh fruits and veggies are good for you.

Produce is also cheaper when it’s in season. It’s June now, so grapes and other soft fruit is getting cheaper. Tomatoes are cheaper now, and so are some greens. In-season produce is also tastier!

So, it pays to buy fresh – you’ll be healthier! And so will your family. Another guilt factor – do you feel guilty about feeding your family your “rabbit food?” It’s natural to feed your family the food that you’re cooking for yourself. You wouldn’t be eating it if it wasn’t tasty, well-balanced and well-seasoned. Ask them how they feel about the meals you’re serving. Chances are they’re enjoying the freshness as well. Don’t be surprised if you need to see your doctor less. You’re getting healthier.

Guilt about personal items

So, after you’ve spent on the necessities, you feel guilty about spending money on personal items? Get over it. You’ve budgeted for your family. Now it’s time to take care of you. Your workout shoes are worn? Time for a new pair. They’re less expensive than a trip to the emergency room after you’ve injured yourself.

You feel guilty about spending on a new pair of leggings? By now you’ve trained yourself not to reward yourself with food. So after a few successful months of working out and eating right – you deserve those new leggings (or T-shirt, or yoga mat).

Guilt is not helpful. A budget is.

A first look at guilt

Guilt and exercise / or not exercising

I’ve been thinking about guilt lately, specifically how it relates to exercise.

Are you torn between your guilt about exercising and not exercising. Spending time working out or with family? Do feel like your brain is on the treadmill even when you’re not?

Have you felt guilty about not exercising?

Or guilty about exercising when you could be doing something for your family?

I’m here to tell you to get over it!

If you’re doing something productive –

If you feel guilty about not exercising – are you doing something else that’s worthwhile? Are you working? Earning a living? Helping your family with something? If you’re engaged in an activity that’s productive, then you can work out another time. Schedule it! Put it in your calendar! (One that you actually refer to on a regular basis.)

If you’re not doing something else worthwhile, then you should feel guilty, so get up and move!

Seriously, though, you’re probably spending more time and energy feeling guilty than you would if you’d stick in a DVD and did a workout. You’ll feel terrific afterward – virtuous and healthy!

Are you exercising when you should be doing something else?

Are there really important things that you should be doing when you’re working out? Or are they just things to get to … some time?

If they’re the really important things, go do that and, again, schedule a workout.

Now, only you can determine if those things you’re thinking about are “really important things” that should be done now, or if they can wait.

The key, it seems, is to prioritize tasks. And then use your calendar so you’re sure not to forget the specific tasks that you need to get done.

But don’t leave out exercise!

If you’re feeling guilty about spending time on yourself when you could be doing other things for family, friends, or work, then don’t.

By spending a little time (as little as 30 minutes a day 4-5 times a week) on yourself exercising, you’ll be gaining a healthier you. A you that will be around longer for your family. A you that can spend the quality time with your family that they deserve. And a you that will be more productive at work.

So stop feeling guilty. Write down and prioritize the things you need to do.

Why would we want to prevent pain?

“It’s easier to prevent pain than to squelch pain. Literally and figuratively. “

Gretchen Rubin, author of The Happiness Project, posited this as a rule for life that happy people know. It’s true. I’ve thought about it a lot on the physical side – how to prevent injury, and how to deal with an injury.

And, if at all possible, it’s a whole lot easier to prevent an injury. Make sure you stretch properly. Drink plenty of water. Warm up slowly. Challenge yourself, but don’t push when you shouldn’t be pushing! And take the time to do a proper cooldown.

I practice this all the time, both with my workout DVD programs, and when I run on the treadmill. Even though my DVDs have warmup periods, I try to do a little before I even turn on the machine – I’m old… I need more of a warmup. And for the most part I’ve been successful at avoiding injury. Sure, I feel my muscles if I try something new and sore muscles are part of the fitness journey. But that’s not an injury. It won’t cause long-lasting effects.

But how about emotional pain?

Do we want to prevent emotional pain? Do we lock ourselves away so that we prevent the pain of someone letting us down, or of separation? I don’t think so.

Emotional pain is part of being human.

You know that old saying, “It’s better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all?” I think that’s true. If you don’t put yourself out there to be loved and to love someone, that’s quite a lonely existence.

We need each other! That’s part of being human too. Sure, we have to be smart about which relationships we pour ourselves into – don’t fall for a married guy… Or a gay guy… But, we need human interactions. Form friendships wherever you can. Do nice things for people. Put yourself out there. That’s how you feel human and engaged, and fulfilled.

Meditate? ME?!?

Meditation can make you healthier!

Are you saying, “Nah! It’s for gurus in India!” No! It’s for everyone!

When you think of meditation, do you think of people in long robes seated cross-legged on the floor with their hands on their knees, palms up and chanting? I used to, as well.

I’m summarizing here – One of Webster’s definitions of meditation is to engage your mental awareness to try to achieve a heightened level of spiritual awareness. Another definition is to focus your thoughts.

For me, that just means to clear my head. I close my eyes and breathe for a few minutes, thinking of absolutely nothing. When my head is clear, I’m calmer and ready to tackle difficult (and not-so-difficult) tasks. If my mind starts to wander, I can recognize this and shut down those intrusive thoughts.

Clear mind = calmness

The nice thing about meditation this way is that I can do it anywhere (except when I’m driving!). If I’m at work and I’ve been bombarded with customer requests, I can just sit at my desk, close my eyes and meditate for a few minutes.

And productivity!

I’m more productive when my mind isn’t scattered. I can focus on one task and complete it. And when I’m productive, I’m happier. And when I’m happier, I tend to eat healthier, exercise for a longer time and with more intensity.

The last couple of weeks have been difficult for me – read the last few posts  – and meditation has helped me over some of the worst hip and back pain. I recognize the pain, close my eyes, try to think of nothing, breathe, and after a few minutes the pain has subsided a bit.

Meditation is for everyone! A beginner’s guide:

Even if you’ve never meditated before, you can try it. Right now: just sit back. (Read this paragraph first…) You can set a timer for 5 minutes if you like – if you’re afraid you’ll take too long with your eyes closed and might miss something. Put your phone down. Put your hands in your lap. Close your eyes. Think of nothing. If a stray thought enters your mind, accept it and get rid of it. Picture it like a cloud – just floating away. And just breathe.

Now open your eyes. Feel refreshed? I thought so!

Guided meditations:

If you had trouble getting rid of your thoughts, sometimes a guided meditation works better. Just descriptions of peaceful places. Here are 3 free .mp3 downloads: Each is just a couple of minutes to get you started:

Garden meditation

Ocean meditation

River meditation

 

Stay in your rut!

We love routine! I think we’re all happiest when we have a schedule that we can stick with. I know I am.

Get up at (pretty much) the same time everyday.

Eat meals at (pretty much) the same time.

Go to (pretty much) the same place every day.

Exercise at (pretty much) the same time every day, or as my schedule dictates.

Go to bed at the same time every day.

Until something happens to disrupt the schedule.

Like an injury.

Then it’s a major obstacle to do regular things. Even getting out of bed can be a chore.

Making meals for myself and the dogs takes twice as long as it should.

Walking to and getting in the car? Agony.

That’s what happened to me the last few days. Yes, things were not easy. Routine things took twice as long as usual – or longer.

But, the closer I came to sticking with my regular schedule, the happier I felt. The closer I felt to being on track.

Of course, the workouts were not my usual workouts, because I physically could not do the exercises I wanted to.

But I made sure that I did a workout.

Meals? It was more important than ever to eat right. Eating healthy is one of the best ways to stay on the fitness track.

And getting up to get water kept me moving. To the water jug (and the bathroom). If you can, and if it’s in alignment with your doctor’s or your PT’s orders, keep moving. As I said earlier in the week, movement will get you back to normal quicker than sitting on the couch will.

And the more in line with my regular schedule I was, the closer I was to feeling more normal.

So, stay in your rut as much as you can. If something throws a monkey wrench into the works, work around it.

So, after an injury – Eat right. Drink plenty of water. And move!